Blast you Chapter 3: Me The guy who drinks the beer, a slam dunk fanfic

Blast you

Author: Silhouette

Websites: http://www.eddiec.cjb.net (Homepage)

http://www.silhouette.cjb.net (Rukawa)

http://www.thunderstormsenru.cjb.net (SenRu)

Genre: Humor (??)

Ratings: Eh well…PG-13?

Author's note: …zzz…

Disclaimer: *Beep* SD does not belong to me…*Beep* I'm just so jealous of Inoue-sensei…

Summary: What happens when the SD people are out-of-character? Go figure… ^^;; As usual, these crap will end at Chapter 8, so you know what to expect. ^___^

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Episode two

[The following opening theme song is adapted from the parody version of "Do Re Mi" in "Sound of Music", which is Homer J. Simpson's "DO-RE-MI-BEER".]

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Open theme song: Do Re Mi Beer: Composed by Homer J. Simpson

Dough, the stuff that buys me beer

[Scene: Sakuragi sitting in a pile of flour.]

Ray, the guy who sells me beer

[Scene: Rukawa taking a glass of beer from somebody.]

Me, the guy who drinks the beer

[Scene: Mitsui drinking from a beer can.]

Far, the distance to my beer

[Scene: Akagi takes a ruler and measures something on the world map.]

So, I think I'll have a beer

[Scene: Miyagi sobbing after being dumped by Ayako.]

La, lalalalala beer…

[Scene: SD people sit around to drink beer.]

Tea, no thanks I'm drinking beer

[Scene: Old man looking furious, "But it's the tradition!"]

…That will bring us back to

[Scene: Kiyota turns mug over and watch the empty bottom of the mug.]

D'oh!

[Flow of beer rushes out from somewhere, carrying the big sign "Blast you!"]

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[Author's note: One of the greatest aspirations I bear is to write the crappiest MTV ever in history.]

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||Rainy Sunday morning. Raging storms. Flashing and Rolling.||

Somewhere in Kanagawa…

"Shouldn't have helped you washed that f***ing [I'm hoping to keep this PG-13 you know] cargo carrion. It's raining now! All that f***ing mud is going to get all over the wheels again!" Sendoh barked at the TV newscaster.

"Cool down, Akira, getting angry is not going to help, at the most…we wash it again?" Rukawa sipped on his coffee peacefully, eyes trained on the newspapers before him, "At least you get to eat Eddie's Mum's Cookies."

"What the f***!"

"Sheesh! Language, Akira, language!" Fujima smiled, pushing his spectacles up, "Don't grumble…Shinichi and I would help you with it, all right?"

"Yeah, getting angry is bad for your health. Mmmmm! The cookies are great!" Maki's eyes curved into the usual ecstatic half-moons again.

Whamwhamwham.

"Whoah, someone's banging at the door. Eddie~!" Kaede shouted.

"Who the hell is that? My door cost a lot of money you know," Eddie came running down the stairs to unlock the door. Two boys came in, dripping wet.

"Why…it's Hisashi and Kimi-chan!" She chirped cheerily, "You are wet!"

"Stop calling me Kimi-chan!" Kogure snapped, "And why do you sound so cheerful about the fact that we are wet?"

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[An hour later]

The boys sat around the living room, talking at the top of their voices (Sendoh topping them all).

(Fujima)"Why did you make Kaede wash that vehicle of yours?"

(Sendoh)"You've dragged us all into it! Damn you."

(Maki)"We do not want to wash your vehicle, we did it only for Kaede."

(Kogure) "Sundays are for speeding and crashing, not for car washing!"

(Mitsui) "It'll stress Kaede out!"

…

[After 15 minutes]

"You done?" Eddie stared at the boys who were busy complaining.

"Eh, yeah."

"Right, Kaede has to do the car-washing, but I didn't say that he must get his friends to help." She leaned back in her armchair, a positively evil grin on her face.

"Wh…..wait!" Kaede cried out, "Does that mean…you are…" He looked around at his friends with tearful eyes, "I can't do that alone! Even with Akira helping me, we took five hours!" He paled even more.

Two men – 5 hours

One man – 10 hours

"Nooooooooooooooooo! But if my friends can help…"

One man – 10 hours

Six men – 1 3/5 hour

"Onegai?"

It was a long moment of silence.

[Not that I'm trying to waste the precious bytes here.]

[7 pages…]

[Readers: Would you just get it over and done with?!?!]

It was a long moment of silence. Eddie looked up, "I shall pass the verdict now."

"You think you are a judge?" Maki rolled his eyes.

"Shut up!"

The room fell into silence.

"Rukawa shall, on the accord that he never touches my oven again, be let off from washing the car…"

"Yaaaaaaay!!" The criminal jumped into the air with joy.

"…But. He would bear the full costs of buying a new oven for me. At the original price of US$900 and be banned from the cakes for 90 weeks."

"That's….that's ridiculous!" Rukawa spluttered, "First thing, I can't possibly get the money in short notice, and second thing, I can't do without the cakes!"

"Oh, that, of course, is your fault…" Eddie smiled evilly.

The room fell into sharp silence again. So silent that you could hear the sound of crumbs falling on the well-vacuumed carpet.

"But Eddie," Fujima sat up, "If your oven's blasted, where did these cookies come from?"

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{Narrator's voice:

And so, the chapter ends here. Where did those cookies come from, and why is Eddie so unreasonably demanding? Stay tuned…}

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But of course, infringement is welcomed provided you ask first. ^^ Anyone want to write a tune for it? Oh, and don't forget my 'No Money' song too…I'd dearly like a tune to it.

[Mechanics]

Our lives

Whirling Twirling Swirling

Mechanics.

The clock goes tick-tock.

The watch goes beep-pop.

And there goes the ding-dong-ding-dong.

Chains…

Endless flow of…chains…

Have you ever watched the clouds fly by?

And wondered why

They looked like never ending rolling gears?

Have you ever heard the birds sing?

And imagined them

To be chattering of the Internet Modem?

Aaahh…..

The ceaseless Mechanics in our lives.

Mechanics.

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