Er, this was done a while back, just about when ff.net started going wacky again. Ah, well. Here is part 9 of Listen for My Heart. I hope you enjoy. Please R/R.
Ladymage Samiko ; )
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Listen for My Heart
Part 9 ~ Turn and Turn Again
Severus was not about to allow the rest of his day to be wasted in contemplating the incomprehensible actions of a woman, so he returned to his chambers and dug out a couple of old favorites from his bookshelf. With these and a large pot of tea, he spent the remainder of the day. But perhaps Eiluneth and her unfathomable doings came to mind more often than he would admit.
The sun had set and the moon was high in the heavens when he was interrupted by a tiny knock on his door. Snape rolled his eyes and sighed irritably. He had no doubt as to who would be there. Very few people bothered to come knocking on his chamber door and of those, fewer still would sound so timid about it. "Come in, Miss Pierce," he called.
The door opened mere inches. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Professor," said the quiet voice. "If I may, I have a favor to ask."
"Then, unless you wish the entire school to know what that favor is, I suggest you stop hanging about the door and come in, Miss Pierce."
"I--" Eiluneth blushed deeply and edged her way in, just enough to shut the door. "Sorry." Leaning against the wall, she bit her lip and gazed at the floor, her face hidden by thick waves of hair.
"Bloody hell, girl," he swore. "If you have something to say, then say it. I don't have all night."
"Er, yes," she replied, still staring at the flagstones. "I--you-- um, earlier, I had an idea. You know I haven't had any luck finding, er, Voldemort," she whispered the name, "and when I-- You know I have empathy and I thought I could use it to--to get a feel for him. You see, my problem is that I don't know what I'm looking for. And I haven't been able to distinguish, um, him from the general 'noise.' So when I-- I left this morning, I went to see the Headmaster. He let me see some of his things from when he was a student, but none of those has what I need. He's changed too much since then. And, well, since it was that that first inspired me, I. . ." her voice trailed off.
Snape closed his eyes and slowly took a deep breath. "I assume there is a point to all this nonsense?" he asked, his voice heavily laced with sarcasm. "And I would suggest, Miss Pierce, that if you wish to ask me something, you at least look at me while you do so." When she remained silent, with her head turned aside, he sighed irritably and rose from his chair. Stalking across the room, he put his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him.
His eyes widened as he absorbed her exhausted state. Her eyes were sunken and weary, with circles so dark underneath them that one would almost think she had been beaten. Severus realized that she was leaning against the wall not because of her reluctance, but because it was the only thing keeping her upright.
"Hellfire and damnation!" he nearly roared, causing Eiluneth to stare at him in alarm. He jerked the door open, which caused her eyes to open even wider and suddenly fill with tears. "Honestly, girl," Severus growled, as he grabbed her wrist and began to tow her along with him down the hallway. "I would think, that at your age--" He glanced at the woman staggering behind him and, with an irritated huff, went back and gathered her up into his arms. It was obvious she'd never make it back to her quarters under her own power. She continued to stare at him with a stupefied expression on her face. "I would think," he continued, "that a woman of your years would, by now, know her limits and have the common sense to pay attention to them! I had imagined that the last time you exhausted yourself, it was due to the unexpectedness of events." He stalked down the corridors, his scowl prohibiting any comment from her. "However, this state of affairs is entirely unnecessary and extraordinarily asinine. Are you completely daft or do you have a death wish? It really is no concern of mine, of course, but if you, as you claim, want to be useful, you need to keep yourself in good condition. What possible use can you be as a walking--not even walking--corpse? By all of the--" Severus finally glanced down to see that Eiluneth had fallen asleep--or fainted, he didn't know which--and was settled against him, her head on his shoulder, her hands on his chest. Lips folded, he continued on his way.
Reaching her door, he discovered the difficulties in opening it with both hands full. Scowling, he commanded, "Open, idiot!" to which the door readily complied. He edged his way in, careful not to bang either the girl's head or her feet against the door frame. You know, now that he thought about it, he realized he had never seen her feet. She always wore those long, flowy dresses. She had nice ones, though, now that he had a chance to see them.
Severus rolled his eyes at the sheer randomness of his thoughts and made his way to her bedroom. Thankfully, the house elves had turned down the bed, so it was no trouble to tuck her in. He removed the long, robe-like over-dress type thing (whatever it was called) leaving her underrobe, shift, whatever! and anything else she might be wearing on her. He really didn't think she wanted him undressing her any more than was necessary and he had no clue how many layers she had on. No need to take risks. He moved to take off her shoes and stockings, only to realize she wasn't wearing any. How odd. He shrugged and pulled the covers up to her chin. It was all her own business, anyway. He began to leave, blowing out the lamp by her bed, then looked back at the pale face, now even whiter in the moonlight. She reminded him of the antique china dolls his mother used to collect, one with midnight black hair and snow-white face. And extraordinary fragility.
He gathered an extra pillow and a blanket that was folded at the end of the bed. Rolling his eyes at his own actions--I'm getting soft in my old age, he informed himself--he made a bed for himself on the couch and went to sleep.
When he awoke once more, the sun was up and unusually bright. He blinked several times before being able to focus on the girl, whom he found ensconced in the windowseat, gazing at the world outside. She seemed to feel his alertness, for without turning, she spoke softly, "It snowed last night, Professor."
"So I see," he answered tonelessly. "Ah, well, I suppose it was inevitable." He arose and stalked across the room to stand beside her. He winced at the light. "God, I hate mornings," he muttered.
"On days like these," Eiluneth murmured, apparently to herself, "Tom and I would be up at the crack of dawn. We'd stuff ourselves into our clothes as soon as we could and race outside. Wales is mountain country; we had our sleds. We--we'd fly down the hillsides at top speeds, racing each other. I usually won. Tom would get angry after a while, and say it was because Muggles like me, even ones who were hedgewitches, had nothing better to do than pretend we could fly. That hurt, you know, but he didn't really mean it and he'd apologize five seconds after he'd said it.
"Listen to me go on," she came to herself suddenly. "I shouldn't be blabbing on about things that're over and done with. No point in boring your ears off."
Snape, to his surprise, had been listening more intently than he thought. "What do you mean, 'it hurt?'" he asked, puzzled. "Why should a comment like that matter?"
"Oh, it's nothing," Eiluneth said evasively, turning away from the window. "Don't mind me, Professor."
"Answer the question, Miss Pierce," Snape insisted in his most awful voice, which--as all students could attest--was pretty compelling.
"It's just. . ." She paused. "You wouldn't know," she continued, "bein' a wizard, how people dream of flying, long for it with every bit of their soul. Why, it's how planes were made, and gliders, and all sorts of things. Ever since I was a child, I've felt that pull, to fly with the birds and ride the winds. I used to dream of it nights. That's why I stood on the edge of the tower that day. The winds are so strong up there; I guess I was dreaming that they'd be strong enough to carry me off." She leaned against the wall, wrapping her arms around herself. "I feel it so strongly inside me, but I know it will never happen. The only thing I can do with a broom is sweep the floor."
"What about those Muggle inventions?" he inquired.
"Father's never allowed me to try. He says they're too dangerous. And now that I'm older, I can't afford what it would cost me. I used to beg Father to let me ride with him or Tom, but he won't let me even touch their broomsticks. So," she shrugged, "I remain earth-bound."
"I see," Severus said simply.
"Do you," she said, giving the wizard an indecipherable look.
"Hmm, I believe you had a request to make of me, Miss Pierce?" Snape reminded her.
"Oh. Yes." Eiluneth blushed bright red. "I do."
"Well? Out with it."
"Well, you see. . ." Eiluneth's voice trailed off as she seemed to think about the best way to ask. "When you showed me the, um, Dark Mark, yesterday, you gave me an idea. I thought I could use my empathy to, um, get a feel for him, you might say. I talked it over with the Headmaster and we went over several things that belonged to Tom Riddle when he was a student here. None of them have the kind of. . . feeling I need. So, I would like to ask you if I could, um, use the Mark. Use it as a focus for my empathy."
"I see," Snape replied, his voice without inflection. "It is an intriguing idea. What would I be required to do?"
"Um, nothing, actually," Eiluneth said. "I just need to be able to touch the Mark and focus." Her face flushed even darker. "What I wanted to warn you about is that the Mark will take me back to the most powerful emotional moment associated with it. I'll know exactly what happened, probably what you were thinking and feeling at that point in time. It's a. . . very personal experience, Professor. I'll be reliving that moment. If you don't want me to know, then I'll find another focus."
"When and where, Miss Pierce?" Snape asked.
The girl looked up at him in surprise. "You mean, you will?"
"What must be done, must be done, Miss Pierce. If you can face the ugliness, than it is no less my duty to allow you to do so."
"After breakfast, then," she answered slowly. "Here, in my rooms. The Headmaster will be there as well."
"Very well." Snape nodded and began to leave.
"Professor?" Eiluneth's voice emerged tentatively from the shadows by her windows.
"Yes?" Snape lifted a quizzical eyebrow.
"I--I just want you to know that I don't regret anything that happened yesterday. And that nothing has changed my opinion of you."
He gave her a long, level stare, saying nothing. Then he shrugged and turned. "We shall see, Miss Pierce."
And with that, he was gone.