Title: Musings
Summary: Kai thinks over his feelings for Ray after their first night together. You can think of this as a prequel to 'Remembering the Shards'. Kai/Ray, yaoi.
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or any of the characters. I only borrow them and have a little fun.
A/N: I'm back! Like the summary says, this is sort of a prequel, but you don't have to read Remembering to understand this. Kai POV, no angst in this one. Just R/R please! This is yaoi, and if you don't know what that means, it's a homosexual relationship. If you are put of by the idea of two hot guys together, or by this particular pairing, I advise you to click the 'back' button now and stop wasting your time.
***
I could stay here forever, you know. Just lying here, with you in my arms. You fill my senses, your scent, the warmth of your bare skin pressed against mine, the sight of you, the sound of your deep, even breathing. You really are beautiful, I hope you know that, but of course you do. I've only told you a thousand times. It's just that I can't help but think that, even though I can't quite put my finger on why.
Sometimes I think it might be your grace, the way can make even the most crude of actions seem so elegant, so smooth. Other times, your physical beauty shines through. That long, midnight hair, that I so seldom see down-- cascading down your back, those bright, golden eyes-- shining into my own with a light all of their own. Your mind, oh gods, your mind. If I could just get inside that complicated head of yours for one second, just to see what you're thinking...
But deep down, I think I know where this feeling comes from. You were the first person to go as far as you did with me, the first one to admit. The only one not scared of rejection. I have never been shown real love before you; I had never opened up before you. You showed me what love was, even though right now we're both too scared to admit what we've fallen into. It's amazing how much four little letters can mean, isn't it? I find it degrading, actually, how such a strong, powerful and delicate emotion can be forced into that one word. It doesn't fit what I feel for you, Ray.
You shift in your sleep, small smile on your face. The sheets are tangled all around us, our bodies still sticky with sweat from last night. I still can't believe that, how such a primitive action performed by two complete amateurs could be so exquisite. I don't think I'll forget that night until my dying day. Your golden eyes darkened to umber as we studied each other's bodies for the first time; the feel of your lips on mine, burning with a fire I had never felt before; the sight of your face, contorted with pleasure; the feel of your body, panting and writhing beneath me; the way you called out my name... God, how can anyone ever be so beautiful? There I go, using that word again. The only word I can use.
"Kai?" I hear you mumble my name. I see you looking up at me, your eyes sleepy, but still bright. Just hearing your voice, my heart beats a little faster. I'm sure you feel it, the closeness of our bodies not keeping anything a secret. I can't keep the smile off of my face as I kiss you softly.
"Mm?" Not a word, I know, but all that I can manage in this state of complete bliss that only you can put me into. Does it feel like this the morning after all sessions of love making, or only the first?
"Why are you still here?" You whisper, your lips brushing my chest delectably, but the feeling going unnoticed. Your eyes are wide and inquiring. My hand goes limp on your slim waist, dropping onto the sheets between us. You really thought I would leave you to wake up alone, didn't you? I don't really blame you, though. I know I've always been a cold, heartless bastard.
"Ray..." Your name is all I can manage before I have to shut my eyes, the vision of tears pooling in your eyes scaring me more than you could imagine. You press a hand to my chest, the pressure light and constant.
"I didn't expect you to still be here." You stated it so simply, with such a smile in your voice, I couldn't help but smile. I open my eyes again, taking hold of your hand and squeezing ever-so-gently, kissing those elegant fingers gently.
"Well, you were wrong." The smile on your face could give me enough happiness to do me a lifetime, even without your gentle touch.
Our eyes lock, yours overflowing with unreadable emotions. Your lips slightly parted and full, your breath fanning and warming my face. Without warning, you tilt your head up and kiss me. This one is totally different from those we shared last night, slow and sweet instead of passionate and hurried. You are such an enigma, an enigma that I need to figure out.
I could stay here forever, you know. Just lying here, with you in my arms, our lips locked like this for an eternity.
***
A/N: Yes, it was short, but I didn't want to over do it. As always, constructive criticism is always welcome and flame if you must... just review! You only have to click the little button down there...