Chapter 10
An Episode that is Super!
I have a sheep! Sheep! Sheep!
His name is Joe! Joe! Joe!
He cuts my lawn! Lawn! Lawn!
That much I know! Know! Know!
Kate: WELCOME TO THE SHARPIE SHOW! YIPPEEYIPPEEYIPPEESKIPPY!
Max: Today is indeed a very SPECIAL day! Today is our first ever SUPER EPISODE!
Kate: WOOOHOOO! So everyone welcome our guests for the day!
Max: Lyra, Pan, Will, Kirjava, Lord Asriel, Stelmaria, Mrs. Coulter, Thurston, Lee Scoresby, Hester, Serafina Pekkala, Kaisa, the Chevalier Tialys, the Lady Salmakia, Iorek Byrnison, and a random guy named Joey the Catfish!
*the guests appear with a loud MOO and promptly begin to scream*
Guests: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Kate: Hello again! *tacklehugs Lyra*
Lyra: YOU'RE THE PERSON WHO SET ME ON FIRE!
Max: *blink* Hey! This is weird!
Kate: What is?
Max: Lyra and Will have been in the same room for approximately 2.7 seconds and they haven't even yelled each others names yet. . .
Kate: That's because they're busy, dude.*points at Lyra and Will, who are violently snogging*
Max: YUCK! *gags*
Kate: Break it up you two, we're on the air here!
Max: So to speak.
Lyra/Will: NOOOOOOO! *cling to each other and refuse to be parted*
Kate: Fine, stay that way. Now please welcome our 50th reviewer, a spiffy person called tigress247!
*tigress247 walks on stage*
Max: Yo!
Kate: Welcome to the Sharpie Show!
Max: the show where we kidnap random His Dark Materials characters and force them to answer our questions!
tigress247: Thank you. I have a question for Serafina Pekkala. What does Kirjava mean?
Serafina: Didn't you two ask me that last time I was here?
Max: Our short term memories are nonexistant. Refresh them.
Serafina: Kirjava is an exotic soup made from the spit of domestic tree wombats who live deep in the jungles of Kukamunga where the sun always shines and it snows every day at 3.
Kirjava: WHAT?!
Serafina: *shrugs* It seemed like a good name at the time. . .
Kirjava: I'LL SHOW YOU GOOD NAME! *tackles Kaisa*
Kaisa: HONK!
Max: Daemon fight. . . eh. . .
Kate: Well at least now Will has to let go of Lyra. *watches Will and Serafina try and pull their daemons apart*
Kirjava: WHY'D YOU GO AND NAME ME AFTER THAT ANYWAY!?
Kate: *to tigress247* Thank you for coming! *hands her a bottle of Immortality Spray and a cookie*
tigress247: Thanks! *walks off stage*
Max: Our next question is from Morpherkidvb who asks Joey the Catfish. . .
Kate: *stares at Joey the Catfish* WHO ARE YOU?!
Joey: I'm a random guy named Joey the Catfish.
Kate: *blink* WHO ARE YOU?!
Max: *whacks Kate* who says "ask him if he wanted to be eaten by my puppy"
Joey: *from inside Morpherkidvb's puppy's stomach* No, I did not! *is digested*
Kate/Max: *blink*
Kate: Morpherkidvb's next question is for Max.
Max: Me?!
Kate: Yeah!
Max: *blink*
Kate: Morpherkidvb asks Max "Do you exist or are you a figment of Kate's imagination?"
Max: Of course I exist! I'm here, aren't I?
Kate: Yeah, he exists. . . but only in my imagination.
Max: -.- unfortunately. Her twisted mind isn't a particularly pleasent place to inhabit. I'm always running from the random visions of Frodo without a shirt that are floating around in there.
Kate: *whacks Max*
Max: Morpherkidvb asks the Gallivespians "Do you hate being small? Or is it fun enough being able to ride a dragon fly?"
Salmakia: I don't hate being small at all. . . but why are we alive. . .
Tialys: I like dragonflies!
Kate: *blink*
Tialys: What's wrong with that? *bears spur*
Kate: Nothing! I like dragonflies too!
*random dragonflies buzz around*
Max: *swats at dragonflies with Chester*
Kate: Morpherkidvb asks Will and Lyra "Do you like Wild Africen Buffalos?"
Lyra/Will: *briefly quit liplocking* What?
Max: Heheh . . . buffalos. . .
Lyra: I like wild african buffalos.
Will: I don't. . .
Kate: Why?
Will: One poked me in the rear when I was young. . .
Max: How'd you get that close to an African buffalo? You live in England!
Will: I was at the zoo. I got too close to the cage. *glares at Max for dredging up the memory*
Max: O.o whatcha glarin at ME for? SHE asked you the question! *points at Kate*
Lyra: Poor Will. . .
Max: Kat097 asks "what do you think of this whole 'fanfiction business?'"
Lyra: *narrows eyes* I think it's the most horrible thing in the worlds.
Kate: Aww, but without fanfic you'd never get to meet us. . .
Lyra: Exactly.
Kate: . . .Or see Will again.
Lyra: *blink* Oh. . . yes. . .
Kate: Kat097 asks Iorek "Do you feel REALLY embarassed to be beaten by Will who is onyl a little boy and your a huge bear?"
Iorek: I am not ashamed to have been beaten by Will and his knife. Will is a warrior, and the knife is far more powerful a weapon than I, or any, could compete with.
Max: NOT! *brandishes Chester, the Spatula of Doooom*
All: Ooooh! *.*
Max: Kat097 asks Will "Can I have your knife?"
Will: No. The knife broke, anyway.
Max: My spatula could beat your wimpy knife any day.
Will: Could not!
Max: Could too!
Will: Could not!
Max: Wanna bet?
Will: You're on! *reaches for knife. . . then remembers it's broken* -.- you did that on purpose.
Max: *evil laugh* Heheheh. . .
Kate: *pats Will* There there. He does that to everyone.
Will: Hmph.
Kate: Leoj says "ask them what their life is like being fictional characters and their take of people like us writing and reading fanfics about them."
Will: *blink* We're fictional?
Lyra: Being fictional is fine, most of the time. . .
Pan: *glares at Max and Kate* until some crazed fans abduct us and ask us stupid questions.
Kirjava: It gets quite annoying then.
Kate: *feigning innocence* Who, us?
Max: *ditto* Why whatever do you mean?
Lord Asriel: Don't play dumb with us, you know exactly what we mean.
Max: Dude! He speaks!
Kate: But why be sane when insanity is just so much fun?
Max: Heheheheh. . .
All: -.-
Max: ElfinQueenMurasaki. . .
Kate: HI LIZZ!
Max:. . . has a lot of questions for all of you. First one is "Mooses are green. have you ever seen a green moose?"
Iorek: I have. Then I ate it.
Kate: NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE MOOSE! ANYTHING BUT THE MOOSE!
Iorek: I was hungry.
Max: How did the moose get green anyway?
Lee: Maybe it rolled around in the grass a lot.
Kate: NOT THE MOOOSE! *sobs*
Max: Second question. "CHEEZE-ITS! AUUUUUGH!"
All: O.O *blink*
Kate: NOT THE CHEEZE-ITS!
Max: Third question. "What would happen if....if... if.....DOOM HAPPENED!"
Lyra: We'd all die, I suppose.
Kate: No we wouldn't! We'd pray to the allmightly llama to spare us! And Iorek would plunge into darkness forever, because he ate the moose.
Iorek: I WAS HUNGRY!
Max: So? I don't go around eating defenseless mooses when I'M hungry!
Kate: Yeah, he only eats defenseless corn chips.
Max: Fourth question. "What happens when you take two talented, super-spiffy, brave kawaii people from a mystical land far away and bring them here to be captured by two superhyper obessed fangirls with pet weasels?"
Kate: Then Lizz and I are veeeery happy fangirls! ^_^
All: We pity those brave kawaii people.
Lee: *scratches head* What does kawaii mean?
Max: And finally "What is?"
Kaisa: It's a!
All: O.o
Kaisa: Well it is.
Kate: innocence on a stick asks a bunch of questions. First one is "do you think God loved stupid people?"
Lord Asriel: God WAS a stupid person!
Mrs. Coulter: No he wasn't!
Lord Asriel: Was too!
Mrs. Coulter: Was not!
Lord Asriel: WAS TOO!
Mrs. Coulter: WAS NOT!
Lord Asriel: TOOTOOTOOTOO!
Mrs. Coulter: NOTNOTNOTNOT!
Lord Asriel: TOOTOO-
Max: SHUT UP ALREADY! *whacks Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter with his spatula*
Lord Asriel/Mrs. Coulter: Look at the pretty stars. . .@_@
Kate: Second question. "Are we all idiots?"
Serafina: I wouldn't hesitate to say you two are.
Max: *pokes Serafina* Do you think you could give me Ruta's phone number? Oh wait. . . she doesn't have a phone. . . could you give her a phone so I can have the number to it?
Serafina: O.o
Kate: Third question. "DO WE EVEN EXIST!??"
Iorek: We're here, aren't we?
Lee: I may be dead, but I still exist.
Serafina: Wait! What if we only THINK we exist?
Max: *pokes self* OUCH! Oh yeah, I exist.
Kate: Fourth question: "Do you like cheese?"
All: Yes
Iorek: No
Max: Cheese is good!
Kate: Yes, it is!
Max: Uiruru Debunsonu asks "what would you do if you were kidnapped and put on a blatent rip off of the pencil show hosted by 2 people max and kate!"
Lyra: I, for one, would do this. *throws back her head and screams*
Max: MY EARS!
Kate: Fun! *screams just for the heck of it*
Everyone else: OUR EARS!
Max: *whacks Kate and Lyra* You're going to make the trash can collapse!
Lyra: *sarcastic* Oh we don't want that, now do we?
Kate: No we don't. wesjdthgols asks "doyoulikecoffee?Ilikecoffee.Iliketomixitwithlotsandlotsofsuger.Ilikesuger.Doyoulikesuger?Ilikesuger.Iliketomixitwithlotsandlotsofcoffee.Ilikescoffee.Doyoulikecoffee?Ilikecoffee.Iliketomixitwithlotsandlotsofsuger.Ilikesuger.Doyoulikesuger?Ilikesuger.Iliketomixitwithlotsandlotsofcoffee.Ilikes. . ."
All: ENOUGH!
Lord Asriel: Coffee good. . .
Kate: Aw darn, our time is up.
Max: I guess you're all free to go.
All: O.O Really?
Kate: Wipe your feet on the way out!
Max: And for being such NICE hostages. . .er. . . guests, FREE CHEESE FOR ALL!
Kate: And coffee!
Max: With lots of sugar!
Kate: We like sugar!
Max: And cheese!
Kate: Sugar is. . .where'd they go?
*trashcan is devoid of hostages. . .er. . .guests*
Max: They've buggered off!
Kate: So they have. They've scarpered.
Max: Let's stop quoting Monty Python.
Kate: Agreed. Biscuit?
======
A/N: we had a super episode! YIPPEEE!
Manda Falcon: *slaps forehead* YOU'RE RIGHT! This is awful! THIS MUST NOT GO ON! *goes to fix chapter 9*
The-shaman-Xavier: WOO! ANIMATORNESS! I'd be honored to have an animator ^_^ I can give you physical descriptions of the hosts if you need 'em. And I'm the only person who writes this. . . Max only exists in my twisted little mind. . . XD As for Immortality Spray, you can get it by being a landmark reviewer (I.E. 50TH reviewer, 100th reviewer, 200th reviewer, etc.) here or on the Pencil Show (sometimes). Or you can just do what Max does and steal it from Hikaness.
A_troubled_girl: Worry not. The Sharpie Show will go on! *grins*
Everyone who requested a certain character: Don't worry, I'll get to them all eventually.
And please don't ask me questions for characters that I haven't announced will be on the show yet. Then I hafta save 'em and all and it gets a bit confuzzling.
Next guest is Iorek Byrnison!
An Episode that is Super!
I have a sheep! Sheep! Sheep!
His name is Joe! Joe! Joe!
He cuts my lawn! Lawn! Lawn!
That much I know! Know! Know!
Kate: WELCOME TO THE SHARPIE SHOW! YIPPEEYIPPEEYIPPEESKIPPY!
Max: Today is indeed a very SPECIAL day! Today is our first ever SUPER EPISODE!
Kate: WOOOHOOO! So everyone welcome our guests for the day!
Max: Lyra, Pan, Will, Kirjava, Lord Asriel, Stelmaria, Mrs. Coulter, Thurston, Lee Scoresby, Hester, Serafina Pekkala, Kaisa, the Chevalier Tialys, the Lady Salmakia, Iorek Byrnison, and a random guy named Joey the Catfish!
*the guests appear with a loud MOO and promptly begin to scream*
Guests: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Kate: Hello again! *tacklehugs Lyra*
Lyra: YOU'RE THE PERSON WHO SET ME ON FIRE!
Max: *blink* Hey! This is weird!
Kate: What is?
Max: Lyra and Will have been in the same room for approximately 2.7 seconds and they haven't even yelled each others names yet. . .
Kate: That's because they're busy, dude.*points at Lyra and Will, who are violently snogging*
Max: YUCK! *gags*
Kate: Break it up you two, we're on the air here!
Max: So to speak.
Lyra/Will: NOOOOOOO! *cling to each other and refuse to be parted*
Kate: Fine, stay that way. Now please welcome our 50th reviewer, a spiffy person called tigress247!
*tigress247 walks on stage*
Max: Yo!
Kate: Welcome to the Sharpie Show!
Max: the show where we kidnap random His Dark Materials characters and force them to answer our questions!
tigress247: Thank you. I have a question for Serafina Pekkala. What does Kirjava mean?
Serafina: Didn't you two ask me that last time I was here?
Max: Our short term memories are nonexistant. Refresh them.
Serafina: Kirjava is an exotic soup made from the spit of domestic tree wombats who live deep in the jungles of Kukamunga where the sun always shines and it snows every day at 3.
Kirjava: WHAT?!
Serafina: *shrugs* It seemed like a good name at the time. . .
Kirjava: I'LL SHOW YOU GOOD NAME! *tackles Kaisa*
Kaisa: HONK!
Max: Daemon fight. . . eh. . .
Kate: Well at least now Will has to let go of Lyra. *watches Will and Serafina try and pull their daemons apart*
Kirjava: WHY'D YOU GO AND NAME ME AFTER THAT ANYWAY!?
Kate: *to tigress247* Thank you for coming! *hands her a bottle of Immortality Spray and a cookie*
tigress247: Thanks! *walks off stage*
Max: Our next question is from Morpherkidvb who asks Joey the Catfish. . .
Kate: *stares at Joey the Catfish* WHO ARE YOU?!
Joey: I'm a random guy named Joey the Catfish.
Kate: *blink* WHO ARE YOU?!
Max: *whacks Kate* who says "ask him if he wanted to be eaten by my puppy"
Joey: *from inside Morpherkidvb's puppy's stomach* No, I did not! *is digested*
Kate/Max: *blink*
Kate: Morpherkidvb's next question is for Max.
Max: Me?!
Kate: Yeah!
Max: *blink*
Kate: Morpherkidvb asks Max "Do you exist or are you a figment of Kate's imagination?"
Max: Of course I exist! I'm here, aren't I?
Kate: Yeah, he exists. . . but only in my imagination.
Max: -.- unfortunately. Her twisted mind isn't a particularly pleasent place to inhabit. I'm always running from the random visions of Frodo without a shirt that are floating around in there.
Kate: *whacks Max*
Max: Morpherkidvb asks the Gallivespians "Do you hate being small? Or is it fun enough being able to ride a dragon fly?"
Salmakia: I don't hate being small at all. . . but why are we alive. . .
Tialys: I like dragonflies!
Kate: *blink*
Tialys: What's wrong with that? *bears spur*
Kate: Nothing! I like dragonflies too!
*random dragonflies buzz around*
Max: *swats at dragonflies with Chester*
Kate: Morpherkidvb asks Will and Lyra "Do you like Wild Africen Buffalos?"
Lyra/Will: *briefly quit liplocking* What?
Max: Heheh . . . buffalos. . .
Lyra: I like wild african buffalos.
Will: I don't. . .
Kate: Why?
Will: One poked me in the rear when I was young. . .
Max: How'd you get that close to an African buffalo? You live in England!
Will: I was at the zoo. I got too close to the cage. *glares at Max for dredging up the memory*
Max: O.o whatcha glarin at ME for? SHE asked you the question! *points at Kate*
Lyra: Poor Will. . .
Max: Kat097 asks "what do you think of this whole 'fanfiction business?'"
Lyra: *narrows eyes* I think it's the most horrible thing in the worlds.
Kate: Aww, but without fanfic you'd never get to meet us. . .
Lyra: Exactly.
Kate: . . .Or see Will again.
Lyra: *blink* Oh. . . yes. . .
Kate: Kat097 asks Iorek "Do you feel REALLY embarassed to be beaten by Will who is onyl a little boy and your a huge bear?"
Iorek: I am not ashamed to have been beaten by Will and his knife. Will is a warrior, and the knife is far more powerful a weapon than I, or any, could compete with.
Max: NOT! *brandishes Chester, the Spatula of Doooom*
All: Ooooh! *.*
Max: Kat097 asks Will "Can I have your knife?"
Will: No. The knife broke, anyway.
Max: My spatula could beat your wimpy knife any day.
Will: Could not!
Max: Could too!
Will: Could not!
Max: Wanna bet?
Will: You're on! *reaches for knife. . . then remembers it's broken* -.- you did that on purpose.
Max: *evil laugh* Heheheh. . .
Kate: *pats Will* There there. He does that to everyone.
Will: Hmph.
Kate: Leoj says "ask them what their life is like being fictional characters and their take of people like us writing and reading fanfics about them."
Will: *blink* We're fictional?
Lyra: Being fictional is fine, most of the time. . .
Pan: *glares at Max and Kate* until some crazed fans abduct us and ask us stupid questions.
Kirjava: It gets quite annoying then.
Kate: *feigning innocence* Who, us?
Max: *ditto* Why whatever do you mean?
Lord Asriel: Don't play dumb with us, you know exactly what we mean.
Max: Dude! He speaks!
Kate: But why be sane when insanity is just so much fun?
Max: Heheheheh. . .
All: -.-
Max: ElfinQueenMurasaki. . .
Kate: HI LIZZ!
Max:. . . has a lot of questions for all of you. First one is "Mooses are green. have you ever seen a green moose?"
Iorek: I have. Then I ate it.
Kate: NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE MOOSE! ANYTHING BUT THE MOOSE!
Iorek: I was hungry.
Max: How did the moose get green anyway?
Lee: Maybe it rolled around in the grass a lot.
Kate: NOT THE MOOOSE! *sobs*
Max: Second question. "CHEEZE-ITS! AUUUUUGH!"
All: O.O *blink*
Kate: NOT THE CHEEZE-ITS!
Max: Third question. "What would happen if....if... if.....DOOM HAPPENED!"
Lyra: We'd all die, I suppose.
Kate: No we wouldn't! We'd pray to the allmightly llama to spare us! And Iorek would plunge into darkness forever, because he ate the moose.
Iorek: I WAS HUNGRY!
Max: So? I don't go around eating defenseless mooses when I'M hungry!
Kate: Yeah, he only eats defenseless corn chips.
Max: Fourth question. "What happens when you take two talented, super-spiffy, brave kawaii people from a mystical land far away and bring them here to be captured by two superhyper obessed fangirls with pet weasels?"
Kate: Then Lizz and I are veeeery happy fangirls! ^_^
All: We pity those brave kawaii people.
Lee: *scratches head* What does kawaii mean?
Max: And finally "What is?"
Kaisa: It's a!
All: O.o
Kaisa: Well it is.
Kate: innocence on a stick asks a bunch of questions. First one is "do you think God loved stupid people?"
Lord Asriel: God WAS a stupid person!
Mrs. Coulter: No he wasn't!
Lord Asriel: Was too!
Mrs. Coulter: Was not!
Lord Asriel: WAS TOO!
Mrs. Coulter: WAS NOT!
Lord Asriel: TOOTOOTOOTOO!
Mrs. Coulter: NOTNOTNOTNOT!
Lord Asriel: TOOTOO-
Max: SHUT UP ALREADY! *whacks Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter with his spatula*
Lord Asriel/Mrs. Coulter: Look at the pretty stars. . .@_@
Kate: Second question. "Are we all idiots?"
Serafina: I wouldn't hesitate to say you two are.
Max: *pokes Serafina* Do you think you could give me Ruta's phone number? Oh wait. . . she doesn't have a phone. . . could you give her a phone so I can have the number to it?
Serafina: O.o
Kate: Third question. "DO WE EVEN EXIST!??"
Iorek: We're here, aren't we?
Lee: I may be dead, but I still exist.
Serafina: Wait! What if we only THINK we exist?
Max: *pokes self* OUCH! Oh yeah, I exist.
Kate: Fourth question: "Do you like cheese?"
All: Yes
Iorek: No
Max: Cheese is good!
Kate: Yes, it is!
Max: Uiruru Debunsonu asks "what would you do if you were kidnapped and put on a blatent rip off of the pencil show hosted by 2 people max and kate!"
Lyra: I, for one, would do this. *throws back her head and screams*
Max: MY EARS!
Kate: Fun! *screams just for the heck of it*
Everyone else: OUR EARS!
Max: *whacks Kate and Lyra* You're going to make the trash can collapse!
Lyra: *sarcastic* Oh we don't want that, now do we?
Kate: No we don't. wesjdthgols asks "doyoulikecoffee?Ilikecoffee.Iliketomixitwithlotsandlotsofsuger.Ilikesuger.Doyoulikesuger?Ilikesuger.Iliketomixitwithlotsandlotsofcoffee.Ilikescoffee.Doyoulikecoffee?Ilikecoffee.Iliketomixitwithlotsandlotsofsuger.Ilikesuger.Doyoulikesuger?Ilikesuger.Iliketomixitwithlotsandlotsofcoffee.Ilikes. . ."
All: ENOUGH!
Lord Asriel: Coffee good. . .
Kate: Aw darn, our time is up.
Max: I guess you're all free to go.
All: O.O Really?
Kate: Wipe your feet on the way out!
Max: And for being such NICE hostages. . .er. . . guests, FREE CHEESE FOR ALL!
Kate: And coffee!
Max: With lots of sugar!
Kate: We like sugar!
Max: And cheese!
Kate: Sugar is. . .where'd they go?
*trashcan is devoid of hostages. . .er. . .guests*
Max: They've buggered off!
Kate: So they have. They've scarpered.
Max: Let's stop quoting Monty Python.
Kate: Agreed. Biscuit?
======
A/N: we had a super episode! YIPPEEE!
Manda Falcon: *slaps forehead* YOU'RE RIGHT! This is awful! THIS MUST NOT GO ON! *goes to fix chapter 9*
The-shaman-Xavier: WOO! ANIMATORNESS! I'd be honored to have an animator ^_^ I can give you physical descriptions of the hosts if you need 'em. And I'm the only person who writes this. . . Max only exists in my twisted little mind. . . XD As for Immortality Spray, you can get it by being a landmark reviewer (I.E. 50TH reviewer, 100th reviewer, 200th reviewer, etc.) here or on the Pencil Show (sometimes). Or you can just do what Max does and steal it from Hikaness.
A_troubled_girl: Worry not. The Sharpie Show will go on! *grins*
Everyone who requested a certain character: Don't worry, I'll get to them all eventually.
And please don't ask me questions for characters that I haven't announced will be on the show yet. Then I hafta save 'em and all and it gets a bit confuzzling.
Next guest is Iorek Byrnison!