Chapter 13:
Dame Hannah. . .BECAUSE I SAID SO!
I have a sheep! Sheep! Sheep!
His name is Joe! Joe! Joe!
He cuts my lawn! Lawn! Lawn!
That much I know! Know! Know!
Kate: Welcome to the Sharpie Show!
Max: The show where we randomly kidnap His Dark Materials charachters and force them to reveal their most hideous secrets!
Kate: And randomness is the key to today's guest.
Max: Please welcome Dame Hannah!
Kate: BECAUSE I SAID SO! HAHAHAHA!
*random people drag Dame Hannah on stage*
Dame Hannah: O.O Where am I?
Max: You're on the Sharpie Show!
Kate: BECAUSE I SAID SO! HAHAHAHA!
Max: Shaddup and ask her a question.
Kate: Fine. Sayray says "ask if she realy has a school for girls or does she take all the "puples" to a random island where the invisable police men hold them captive?"
Dame Hannah: Absolutely not! We take pride in our students at my college, and in giving them the finest educations we. . .
Max: I think you do! It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
Kate: You should! It'd be fun! Like a field trip! I wanna see an invisible police man!
Max: You can't see invisible police men, idiot.
Kate: Okay. . . so I want to not see them!
Max: You're not seeing them right now!
Kate: O.O I . . . am confused. . .
Max: As it should be. San the Dragon asks "will you join my crusade against the evil urple violins?" and. . . O.o *tosses card over shoulder and mumbles dark things*
Dame Hannah: WHAT DID THE EVIL URPLE VIOLINS EVER DO TO YOU? *sobs*
Max: Were evil and urple?
Dame Hannah: I suppose that is a good reason. . .
Kate: *picks up the card and reads it* Max, I know why you are single. . . . NEHAHAHA XD Hey Max, if you ever DO get a girlfriend, invite her over to your house! I'll show her my memories from Halloween!
Max: *growls* WHAT?!
Kate: Oh don't worry. I don't think that's gonna be much of a problem. You'll probably never get a girlfriend anyway ^_^
Max: WHY YOU! *whacks Kate*
Kate: *raspberries Max* Face it, Imaginary-Boy, I've got DIRT on you!
Max: *mutters dark thinks*
Kate: hehehehe. . . Yes, San, the world DOES have enough morons already.
Max: I hate you all.
Kate: You're just saying that because it's true. Tigress247 asks. . . why is everyone always asking MAX questions?!
Max: *grin* When you got it, you got it!
*sigh* Tigress 247 asks Max "would you rather.. a) Date a small rodent. b) Date Kate. c) Date me! (i have pleanty of imortality spray!) d) Die alone."
Max/Kate: O.O date Kate. . . AAAAUGH! AAAAUGH! BAD MENTAL IMAGE!
Dame Hannah: o.o I am very frightened. . .
Max: GOOD. *shudders* TheShamanXavier . . .
Kate: *reads card* Darnit. We never did go to Oxford, did we?
Max: Nope. We're gonna hafta find another abandoned mansion.
Kate: Good abandoned mansions are so hard to find.
Max: TheShamanXavier asks "I'm currently recruiting random monsters to accomplish random evil tasks (get some radom One ring, get some random Holy grail, y'know) And I was wondering if you'd like to be one, I can put you up for "evil witch #234", so, what do you say?"
Dame Hannah: What? I would never. . . hmm, a One Ring, you say? Is it a pretty ring?
Kate: It's a REAL pretty Ring! But it got thrown into a volcano. *filling out form A-10* If a magical girl throws you a random magick Tiara that goes as fast as a squashed snail, do you A) Stand there waiting for it to hit you, B) evade it and kill the little pest or C) dance polka while singing "Oh Canada" while swallowing knives. . . Oh! Wait! I know the answer. . . 42! ^_^
Max: Put down C.
Kate: You think?
Max: TheShamanXavier also has another question for you. "WHY DID YOU BRING DAME HANNAH ON THE SHOW??? I mean, Helllllloooooooooo, can you say "nobody"?"
Kate: Of course I can! Nobody!
Max: Why DID you choose Dame Hannah for this episode?! She's so boring! No offence.
Dame Hannah: None taken *busy imagining the One Ring on her finger*
Kate: Well that's an easy one! Dame Hannah's on todays show because. . . I SAID SO! BOW DOWN TO ME FOR I RULE THE GUEST LIST! MUAHAHAHAHAA!
Max: I seem to remember you bribing the random people to drag Dame Hannah onstage instead of someone interesing.
Kate: Stuff it, you. Odd World asks "If you had a monkey, and that monkey was named Billy-Bob, and he liked cheese, and you hated cheese, would that mean that El Nino will strike again?"
Dame Hannah: El. . . what?
Kate: HEE HEE ^_^ THE SPIFFY THING THAT MAKES IT COLD IN FLORIDA!
Max: Need I remind you that that "spiffy thing" made life very difficult for some people out west?
Kate: Oh yeah. . . *blink* Hey, since when do YOU care about random people?
Max: Since it allowed me to make you look stupid.
Kate: -_-
Max: MandaFalcon asks "Hannie, have you ever met a guy named jow eith purple hair and blue eyes who knows how to polka?"
Dame Hannah: Why yes. . . yes I have. . . but my name is NOT Hannie!
Kate: COOL! So that means you know how to Polka, right? RIIIGHT?
Dame Hannah: O.O Yes. . .
Max: TEACH US!
Kate: YES! POLKA POLKA POLKA!
Dame Hannah: o.o No!
Kate: Pleeeease?
Max: WHY NOT?!
Dame Hannah: STAY AWAY FROM ME! *runs out of the trash can and randomly dissapears*
Kate: O.O
Max: -_- Well THAT was productive. You chased her away!
Kate: Oh be quiet. You're scarier than I am.
=============
A/N: Man, that took a long time O.O Sorry about the wait guys, been so busy. . . . I'll try not to let that happen again. . .
Anyway, the next chapter is the Bad Mental Images chapter. HEE HEE ^_^ I'll announce our next guest there.
Dame Hannah. . .BECAUSE I SAID SO!
I have a sheep! Sheep! Sheep!
His name is Joe! Joe! Joe!
He cuts my lawn! Lawn! Lawn!
That much I know! Know! Know!
Kate: Welcome to the Sharpie Show!
Max: The show where we randomly kidnap His Dark Materials charachters and force them to reveal their most hideous secrets!
Kate: And randomness is the key to today's guest.
Max: Please welcome Dame Hannah!
Kate: BECAUSE I SAID SO! HAHAHAHA!
*random people drag Dame Hannah on stage*
Dame Hannah: O.O Where am I?
Max: You're on the Sharpie Show!
Kate: BECAUSE I SAID SO! HAHAHAHA!
Max: Shaddup and ask her a question.
Kate: Fine. Sayray says "ask if she realy has a school for girls or does she take all the "puples" to a random island where the invisable police men hold them captive?"
Dame Hannah: Absolutely not! We take pride in our students at my college, and in giving them the finest educations we. . .
Max: I think you do! It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
Kate: You should! It'd be fun! Like a field trip! I wanna see an invisible police man!
Max: You can't see invisible police men, idiot.
Kate: Okay. . . so I want to not see them!
Max: You're not seeing them right now!
Kate: O.O I . . . am confused. . .
Max: As it should be. San the Dragon asks "will you join my crusade against the evil urple violins?" and. . . O.o *tosses card over shoulder and mumbles dark things*
Dame Hannah: WHAT DID THE EVIL URPLE VIOLINS EVER DO TO YOU? *sobs*
Max: Were evil and urple?
Dame Hannah: I suppose that is a good reason. . .
Kate: *picks up the card and reads it* Max, I know why you are single. . . . NEHAHAHA XD Hey Max, if you ever DO get a girlfriend, invite her over to your house! I'll show her my memories from Halloween!
Max: *growls* WHAT?!
Kate: Oh don't worry. I don't think that's gonna be much of a problem. You'll probably never get a girlfriend anyway ^_^
Max: WHY YOU! *whacks Kate*
Kate: *raspberries Max* Face it, Imaginary-Boy, I've got DIRT on you!
Max: *mutters dark thinks*
Kate: hehehehe. . . Yes, San, the world DOES have enough morons already.
Max: I hate you all.
Kate: You're just saying that because it's true. Tigress247 asks. . . why is everyone always asking MAX questions?!
Max: *grin* When you got it, you got it!
*sigh* Tigress 247 asks Max "would you rather.. a) Date a small rodent. b) Date Kate. c) Date me! (i have pleanty of imortality spray!) d) Die alone."
Max/Kate: O.O date Kate. . . AAAAUGH! AAAAUGH! BAD MENTAL IMAGE!
Dame Hannah: o.o I am very frightened. . .
Max: GOOD. *shudders* TheShamanXavier . . .
Kate: *reads card* Darnit. We never did go to Oxford, did we?
Max: Nope. We're gonna hafta find another abandoned mansion.
Kate: Good abandoned mansions are so hard to find.
Max: TheShamanXavier asks "I'm currently recruiting random monsters to accomplish random evil tasks (get some radom One ring, get some random Holy grail, y'know) And I was wondering if you'd like to be one, I can put you up for "evil witch #234", so, what do you say?"
Dame Hannah: What? I would never. . . hmm, a One Ring, you say? Is it a pretty ring?
Kate: It's a REAL pretty Ring! But it got thrown into a volcano. *filling out form A-10* If a magical girl throws you a random magick Tiara that goes as fast as a squashed snail, do you A) Stand there waiting for it to hit you, B) evade it and kill the little pest or C) dance polka while singing "Oh Canada" while swallowing knives. . . Oh! Wait! I know the answer. . . 42! ^_^
Max: Put down C.
Kate: You think?
Max: TheShamanXavier also has another question for you. "WHY DID YOU BRING DAME HANNAH ON THE SHOW??? I mean, Helllllloooooooooo, can you say "nobody"?"
Kate: Of course I can! Nobody!
Max: Why DID you choose Dame Hannah for this episode?! She's so boring! No offence.
Dame Hannah: None taken *busy imagining the One Ring on her finger*
Kate: Well that's an easy one! Dame Hannah's on todays show because. . . I SAID SO! BOW DOWN TO ME FOR I RULE THE GUEST LIST! MUAHAHAHAHAA!
Max: I seem to remember you bribing the random people to drag Dame Hannah onstage instead of someone interesing.
Kate: Stuff it, you. Odd World asks "If you had a monkey, and that monkey was named Billy-Bob, and he liked cheese, and you hated cheese, would that mean that El Nino will strike again?"
Dame Hannah: El. . . what?
Kate: HEE HEE ^_^ THE SPIFFY THING THAT MAKES IT COLD IN FLORIDA!
Max: Need I remind you that that "spiffy thing" made life very difficult for some people out west?
Kate: Oh yeah. . . *blink* Hey, since when do YOU care about random people?
Max: Since it allowed me to make you look stupid.
Kate: -_-
Max: MandaFalcon asks "Hannie, have you ever met a guy named jow eith purple hair and blue eyes who knows how to polka?"
Dame Hannah: Why yes. . . yes I have. . . but my name is NOT Hannie!
Kate: COOL! So that means you know how to Polka, right? RIIIGHT?
Dame Hannah: O.O Yes. . .
Max: TEACH US!
Kate: YES! POLKA POLKA POLKA!
Dame Hannah: o.o No!
Kate: Pleeeease?
Max: WHY NOT?!
Dame Hannah: STAY AWAY FROM ME! *runs out of the trash can and randomly dissapears*
Kate: O.O
Max: -_- Well THAT was productive. You chased her away!
Kate: Oh be quiet. You're scarier than I am.
=============
A/N: Man, that took a long time O.O Sorry about the wait guys, been so busy. . . . I'll try not to let that happen again. . .
Anyway, the next chapter is the Bad Mental Images chapter. HEE HEE ^_^ I'll announce our next guest there.