Since I'm also posting this under Harry Potter, I'm going to explain a few
things about Excel saga:
1)Excel saga is a Japanese animation that takes pride in its way of making
fun of other animes as well as other things.
2)Excel Saga follows the exploits of the ACROSS gang who try to take over
the world, but to make things simpler they will begin by taking over F-city
in Japan.
3) Excel is an ACROSS agent, annoying, dense, with a loud high pitched
voice.
4)Hyatt is from Mars. She's weak, quiet...and constantly dieing or bleeding
from the mouth.
5) Lord Ilpalazoo is the leader of ACROSS.
6)Menchi is a stray dog Excel picked up in ep. 1 as their emergency food
supply.
7) Pedro is a foreign worker who died in ep.1, who's wife has betrayed him
and son forgotten him.
8) Will-chan is a giant floating universe orb with female hands. To be
brief, I refer to her as the hole in the plot.
Koshi Rikdo runs out of a book store, filled with screaming little children and tired adults, holding book two. Instead of Reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets however, it reads Excel Excel and the Plot to Rule Hogwarts. Confused, he turns the book over and reads: I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby give my permission to turn the Excel Saga anime into a wizarding movie with magic and adventure. It had his seal and everything. "Oh well. Must've been drunk that time."
Excel Excel and the Plot to Rule Hogwarts (aka: damn its been awhile)
"ALL HAIL LORD ILPALAZOO!!!" the annoyingly high pitched voice of ACROSS agent Excel Excel rang through ACROSS HQ, which wasn't anything new to the three members. Agent Hyatt would've been doing the same....if she wasn't lying on the floor half dead and bleeding from three different places. "Annoyingly cheerful and energetic as always Excel?" asked an uninterested Ilpalazoo, leader of ACROSS, from his throne. "And what oh great leader is the plan for our domination of this filthy planet today Sir?" asked Excel. Ilpalazoo smirked and held up a few books. "Excel, do these look familiar at all?" of course these books where familiar. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing a group of ten year olds with atleast one of the books in their hand.
"YES LORD ILPALAZOO! EXCEL KNOWS! THOSE ARE THE INFAMOUS FOUR HARRY POTTER BOOKS THAT HAVE BEEN RELEASED. Of course Excel wonders why Lord Ilpalazoo also has posession of the yet to be realeased other three, BUT EXCEL WILL BLINDLY IGNORE THAT! DOES GREAT LORD ILPALAZOO WANT EXCEL TO KILL THE AUTHOR AND END HER REIGN OF TERROR?!" Excel screamed quickly, as always. "Not this episode." He answered, and let his attention waver to the half dead Hyatt in front of him. "Oh! Excuse me sir, but Hyatts dead again!" Excel ran to begin the routine CPR process while Ilpalazoo flipped through one of the books, nodded, and tossed them into a conveniently placed paper shredder. "Excel and Hyatt, I want you two to infiltrate this...'Hogwarts' and pose as two witches, gain as much information as unnecessarily needed, and take over. After that we will have control over a great majority of the population and only need to find someway to control Otakus, Trekkies, and people with lives." Ilpalazoo then began muttering something about Tribbles and a bottle of Tequila, but lets not go there. "AS LORD ILPALAZOO WISHES SIR!" Boomed Excel. "Hail Lord Il-" Hyatt moaned weakly before dieing again.
Excel and Hyatt stood outside a brick wall, dumbfounded. Their emergency food supply, Menchi, was tied to Excel's head, whimpering softly. "Umm....is this really Diagon Alley? It looks like a brick wall. How are we supposed to buy magical crap from a brick wall!? LORD ILPALAZOO! EXCEL HAS FAILED YOU WITHOUT EVEN BEGINNING!" Excel banged her head, or rather Menchi, against the brick wall. She must've hit the right bricks because at that moment Diagon Alley was now showing. The three walked into Diagon Alley, or rather Excel walked dragging a once again half-dead Hyatt behind her. Once Hyatt revived herself, she looked around at the stores and she had a thought. "Excuse me senior Excel, but if I remember correctly, we are in need of new currency as our current one is valueless here." she said weakly. "You mean we gotta pay for this crap? Alright then...HA!" Excel saw an old wizard walking by, who looked very pale, sick, and begging for death. She stuck her foot out and tripped him. The wizard fell flat on his face, Excel grabbed his money and ran for it, hoping noone saw. "C'mon Hyatt!" Excel screamed, while Hyatt just stared at what had happened. Deciding it was for the best and a noble sacrifice in the name of Lord Ilpalazoo, she slowly walked over to join Excel.
"Hey, check it out, robes for every occasion!" Excel ran in, slowly followed by Hyatt. Seeing as how this shopping would take awhile, just imagine what Harry went through and add some sick puns into it. A few days later they arrived at the train station and looked at their ticket, to the platform, and once again at the ticket. "9 and 3/4? Holy $#!t, this is getting unnecessarily weird." Excel looked at it confused. Hyatt went to the barrier in between 9 and 10, put her hand through, and died. She fell through the barrier. "Alright Hyatt! You're a genuise!" Excel grabbed her and Hyatt's cart, with Menchi tied to her head, and ran through. She saw on the other side a bewildered Hyatt staring at a large train. They got on and sat down in an empty compartment. Excel examined the filthy human scum outside, soon to be ruled by Lord Ilpalazoo! Standing out was a family of red-heads, a tall and looming pale blonde guy with matching son, a girl with frizzy hair, and a boy with glasses and a lightning scar. "Oooh, something tells me I've stumbled upon the primary characters." All the children got on the train.
"Great, all the compartments are completely full except this one, and there are two girls in it. How are we going to whisper about conspicous strange things that are happening, have a short stand-off with Draco, and introduce Neville and Seamus to first time readers with those two there?" came the voice of a red headed boy. Three kids came into the compartment and sat down as far away from Excel and Hyatt as possible. Harry leaned forward to Ron and Hermoine and whispered, "I've never seen those two before, but they look too old to be first years. You reckon they're transfers?" Hermoine looked shocked. "Transfers? Why-" and she went on a three page ramble about all the possible schools they might have come from, listed references, and other possible reasons why they were here. "Right, but do you figure one of them could be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?" Harry asked. At that moment Excel jumped up screaming as Menchi was attempting to chew a hole through the cloth tieing her to Excel and "accidentally" chewed Excel's head. "Let's hope not." Ron sighed.
The train came to a halt and the students piled out. Excel and Hyatt, now in their robes, walked towards the biggest person they saw. And boy was he BIG. "All firs years here!" he kept yelling. "Hi Ron, Hermoine, and Harry!" he yelled waving. Excel saw the three kids who were in the compartment with her wave back. "Interesting observation." she said, recording things by scratching it in her arm with a rusty nail. They made their way over to Hagrid, assuming they were first years. Hagrid raised an eyebrow at the violently coughing dark haired girl, the blonde screaming about complete nonsense, and the dog flailing its arms. "Crazier every year." he sighed.
If you made it this far, well I applaud you. Next chapter will be the sorting. Oh yeah. I have plenty of sarcasm planned.
Koshi Rikdo runs out of a book store, filled with screaming little children and tired adults, holding book two. Instead of Reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets however, it reads Excel Excel and the Plot to Rule Hogwarts. Confused, he turns the book over and reads: I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby give my permission to turn the Excel Saga anime into a wizarding movie with magic and adventure. It had his seal and everything. "Oh well. Must've been drunk that time."
Excel Excel and the Plot to Rule Hogwarts (aka: damn its been awhile)
"ALL HAIL LORD ILPALAZOO!!!" the annoyingly high pitched voice of ACROSS agent Excel Excel rang through ACROSS HQ, which wasn't anything new to the three members. Agent Hyatt would've been doing the same....if she wasn't lying on the floor half dead and bleeding from three different places. "Annoyingly cheerful and energetic as always Excel?" asked an uninterested Ilpalazoo, leader of ACROSS, from his throne. "And what oh great leader is the plan for our domination of this filthy planet today Sir?" asked Excel. Ilpalazoo smirked and held up a few books. "Excel, do these look familiar at all?" of course these books where familiar. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing a group of ten year olds with atleast one of the books in their hand.
"YES LORD ILPALAZOO! EXCEL KNOWS! THOSE ARE THE INFAMOUS FOUR HARRY POTTER BOOKS THAT HAVE BEEN RELEASED. Of course Excel wonders why Lord Ilpalazoo also has posession of the yet to be realeased other three, BUT EXCEL WILL BLINDLY IGNORE THAT! DOES GREAT LORD ILPALAZOO WANT EXCEL TO KILL THE AUTHOR AND END HER REIGN OF TERROR?!" Excel screamed quickly, as always. "Not this episode." He answered, and let his attention waver to the half dead Hyatt in front of him. "Oh! Excuse me sir, but Hyatts dead again!" Excel ran to begin the routine CPR process while Ilpalazoo flipped through one of the books, nodded, and tossed them into a conveniently placed paper shredder. "Excel and Hyatt, I want you two to infiltrate this...'Hogwarts' and pose as two witches, gain as much information as unnecessarily needed, and take over. After that we will have control over a great majority of the population and only need to find someway to control Otakus, Trekkies, and people with lives." Ilpalazoo then began muttering something about Tribbles and a bottle of Tequila, but lets not go there. "AS LORD ILPALAZOO WISHES SIR!" Boomed Excel. "Hail Lord Il-" Hyatt moaned weakly before dieing again.
Excel and Hyatt stood outside a brick wall, dumbfounded. Their emergency food supply, Menchi, was tied to Excel's head, whimpering softly. "Umm....is this really Diagon Alley? It looks like a brick wall. How are we supposed to buy magical crap from a brick wall!? LORD ILPALAZOO! EXCEL HAS FAILED YOU WITHOUT EVEN BEGINNING!" Excel banged her head, or rather Menchi, against the brick wall. She must've hit the right bricks because at that moment Diagon Alley was now showing. The three walked into Diagon Alley, or rather Excel walked dragging a once again half-dead Hyatt behind her. Once Hyatt revived herself, she looked around at the stores and she had a thought. "Excuse me senior Excel, but if I remember correctly, we are in need of new currency as our current one is valueless here." she said weakly. "You mean we gotta pay for this crap? Alright then...HA!" Excel saw an old wizard walking by, who looked very pale, sick, and begging for death. She stuck her foot out and tripped him. The wizard fell flat on his face, Excel grabbed his money and ran for it, hoping noone saw. "C'mon Hyatt!" Excel screamed, while Hyatt just stared at what had happened. Deciding it was for the best and a noble sacrifice in the name of Lord Ilpalazoo, she slowly walked over to join Excel.
"Hey, check it out, robes for every occasion!" Excel ran in, slowly followed by Hyatt. Seeing as how this shopping would take awhile, just imagine what Harry went through and add some sick puns into it. A few days later they arrived at the train station and looked at their ticket, to the platform, and once again at the ticket. "9 and 3/4? Holy $#!t, this is getting unnecessarily weird." Excel looked at it confused. Hyatt went to the barrier in between 9 and 10, put her hand through, and died. She fell through the barrier. "Alright Hyatt! You're a genuise!" Excel grabbed her and Hyatt's cart, with Menchi tied to her head, and ran through. She saw on the other side a bewildered Hyatt staring at a large train. They got on and sat down in an empty compartment. Excel examined the filthy human scum outside, soon to be ruled by Lord Ilpalazoo! Standing out was a family of red-heads, a tall and looming pale blonde guy with matching son, a girl with frizzy hair, and a boy with glasses and a lightning scar. "Oooh, something tells me I've stumbled upon the primary characters." All the children got on the train.
"Great, all the compartments are completely full except this one, and there are two girls in it. How are we going to whisper about conspicous strange things that are happening, have a short stand-off with Draco, and introduce Neville and Seamus to first time readers with those two there?" came the voice of a red headed boy. Three kids came into the compartment and sat down as far away from Excel and Hyatt as possible. Harry leaned forward to Ron and Hermoine and whispered, "I've never seen those two before, but they look too old to be first years. You reckon they're transfers?" Hermoine looked shocked. "Transfers? Why-" and she went on a three page ramble about all the possible schools they might have come from, listed references, and other possible reasons why they were here. "Right, but do you figure one of them could be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?" Harry asked. At that moment Excel jumped up screaming as Menchi was attempting to chew a hole through the cloth tieing her to Excel and "accidentally" chewed Excel's head. "Let's hope not." Ron sighed.
The train came to a halt and the students piled out. Excel and Hyatt, now in their robes, walked towards the biggest person they saw. And boy was he BIG. "All firs years here!" he kept yelling. "Hi Ron, Hermoine, and Harry!" he yelled waving. Excel saw the three kids who were in the compartment with her wave back. "Interesting observation." she said, recording things by scratching it in her arm with a rusty nail. They made their way over to Hagrid, assuming they were first years. Hagrid raised an eyebrow at the violently coughing dark haired girl, the blonde screaming about complete nonsense, and the dog flailing its arms. "Crazier every year." he sighed.
If you made it this far, well I applaud you. Next chapter will be the sorting. Oh yeah. I have plenty of sarcasm planned.