I was in back of Pippin. I saw him twitch nervously and look around. He swerved aside to the right , and dived out of the line , sprawling on the grass.
"Run Pippin RUN!!!" I cried รก la Forrest Gump.
You know that scene where Forrest is being chased by some kids with rocks and his friend is yelling at him to run? And the braces on his legs smash and fall off? Except in this case Pippin did not have weak limbs and the kids with rocks were actually Uruks with nasty jagged swords. And I was not wearing a little blue printed flower dress , but a shirt that was a billion times too big for me and elvish Spandex.
He sprang up and ran but I could see misty shadows that would stop him. He stopped and fiddled with something on his cloak . Not the Lorien pin , I moaned in my mind. A whip hit his ankles and he stifled a cry. The B.L.U.B ran and turned to face Pippin. Words were spoken , but I couldn't hear them. All the while the orc was staring fiercely at me. I don't know why but I was made to run. I figured I wasn't going to be able to keep up consciousness much longer . I was falling apart faster than PB and J sandwich made with too much jam.
Asthma was kicking in. Wheezing started , and my throat seemed like it was squished. My breath came in short gasps , and Merry craned his neck to look at what was happening. Some the orcs gazed nervously. I collapsed from lack of air.
"I ..*gasp* hate..*wheeze* ...you , " I grinned. "Your ..*gasp*..going to be in a lot of shinte...*gasp* with Saruman."
I was probably blue by this time adding to my fake death scene. I laughed to myself and tried to keep my mouth from twitching into a smile. That was when B.L.U.B bent over me , and I spat in his face. The timing couldn't be more perfect. I laughed then passed out. Sweet revenge.
I woke the next day , at least I thought it was. By the sun it was afternoon. I was suprised I was alive, when I had an asthma attack my mom always took me to the Emergency Room. I sat up , realizing my hands were untied . HAHA! Beware orcs , 00K8 is loose ! Something that looked somewhat like food was flung beside me. Ew.
Bread and some nameless crap that looked like meat. Ok , maybe bread , I was really hungry. I lay down and gazed at the clouds while eating. That was something I liked about Middle Earth , if something bad happened there was always a sight to cheer you up.
I slipped into one of my Zen states until it seemed like red and black stars exploded across my vision. I had been hit , but where ? Ah , my chest. I scared my friends when I was hurt because I was too calm. Then pain hit again. I curled up into a ball , because it was a defensive position , at least to those Tai Kwon Do people on TV.Those orcs were definetely in need of anger management My broken rib grinded against my lung in protest but I got up. I kicked the unlucky orc where it hurt."Anyone else care to try that?" And then sat down and commenced cloud gazing again.
I must have drifted off to sleep because when I woke it was night again. My arms were tied. The orcs were all in a fuss about something. 'The Whiteskins' were waiting for the sun to attack. I hoped those guys were friendly .
" Spectacular , spectacular , the words are so venacular. Can't describe this great event , you'll be dumb with wonderment."
While I was busy humming the tune to ' Spectacular Spectacular' from Moulin Rouge , something was creeping up behind me.
A hairy hand was clapped over my mouth and I was dragged away from the campfire , into the shadows. In less than 30 seconds the hideous thing was on top of me. Oh jeez was it trying to rape me ? By the sound it was making I assumed so. I was frantically trying to remember what the self defense guy had taught us.
You see, in Grade 9 we were forced to take a self-defense program with a sadistic maniac called Brian who got his kicks beating up the girls gym class. I don't like people hurting me and when Brian pulled my hair , I launched myself at him. We fought for a while and then I climbed on his back and pummeled him like crazy. And this guy was a supposed " Judo-Master". Yes , and I'm George W. Bush.
Anyways , all you need to know is I got the damn thing off with minimal damage and killed by stomping on its head. Good for me , blood was dripping down my neck . Wonderful. I crawled even deeper into the darkness and laid still hoping the orcs wouldn't see me. Minutes like hours passed but I decided to keep moving .
There was a forest ahead and my eyes focused on two small figures sitting together EATING. Eating , I ask you. No search party or botched rescue even. "Hi guys," I said.
"Run Pippin RUN!!!" I cried รก la Forrest Gump.
You know that scene where Forrest is being chased by some kids with rocks and his friend is yelling at him to run? And the braces on his legs smash and fall off? Except in this case Pippin did not have weak limbs and the kids with rocks were actually Uruks with nasty jagged swords. And I was not wearing a little blue printed flower dress , but a shirt that was a billion times too big for me and elvish Spandex.
He sprang up and ran but I could see misty shadows that would stop him. He stopped and fiddled with something on his cloak . Not the Lorien pin , I moaned in my mind. A whip hit his ankles and he stifled a cry. The B.L.U.B ran and turned to face Pippin. Words were spoken , but I couldn't hear them. All the while the orc was staring fiercely at me. I don't know why but I was made to run. I figured I wasn't going to be able to keep up consciousness much longer . I was falling apart faster than PB and J sandwich made with too much jam.
Asthma was kicking in. Wheezing started , and my throat seemed like it was squished. My breath came in short gasps , and Merry craned his neck to look at what was happening. Some the orcs gazed nervously. I collapsed from lack of air.
"I ..*gasp* hate..*wheeze* ...you , " I grinned. "Your ..*gasp*..going to be in a lot of shinte...*gasp* with Saruman."
I was probably blue by this time adding to my fake death scene. I laughed to myself and tried to keep my mouth from twitching into a smile. That was when B.L.U.B bent over me , and I spat in his face. The timing couldn't be more perfect. I laughed then passed out. Sweet revenge.
I woke the next day , at least I thought it was. By the sun it was afternoon. I was suprised I was alive, when I had an asthma attack my mom always took me to the Emergency Room. I sat up , realizing my hands were untied . HAHA! Beware orcs , 00K8 is loose ! Something that looked somewhat like food was flung beside me. Ew.
Bread and some nameless crap that looked like meat. Ok , maybe bread , I was really hungry. I lay down and gazed at the clouds while eating. That was something I liked about Middle Earth , if something bad happened there was always a sight to cheer you up.
I slipped into one of my Zen states until it seemed like red and black stars exploded across my vision. I had been hit , but where ? Ah , my chest. I scared my friends when I was hurt because I was too calm. Then pain hit again. I curled up into a ball , because it was a defensive position , at least to those Tai Kwon Do people on TV.Those orcs were definetely in need of anger management My broken rib grinded against my lung in protest but I got up. I kicked the unlucky orc where it hurt."Anyone else care to try that?" And then sat down and commenced cloud gazing again.
I must have drifted off to sleep because when I woke it was night again. My arms were tied. The orcs were all in a fuss about something. 'The Whiteskins' were waiting for the sun to attack. I hoped those guys were friendly .
" Spectacular , spectacular , the words are so venacular. Can't describe this great event , you'll be dumb with wonderment."
While I was busy humming the tune to ' Spectacular Spectacular' from Moulin Rouge , something was creeping up behind me.
A hairy hand was clapped over my mouth and I was dragged away from the campfire , into the shadows. In less than 30 seconds the hideous thing was on top of me. Oh jeez was it trying to rape me ? By the sound it was making I assumed so. I was frantically trying to remember what the self defense guy had taught us.
You see, in Grade 9 we were forced to take a self-defense program with a sadistic maniac called Brian who got his kicks beating up the girls gym class. I don't like people hurting me and when Brian pulled my hair , I launched myself at him. We fought for a while and then I climbed on his back and pummeled him like crazy. And this guy was a supposed " Judo-Master". Yes , and I'm George W. Bush.
Anyways , all you need to know is I got the damn thing off with minimal damage and killed by stomping on its head. Good for me , blood was dripping down my neck . Wonderful. I crawled even deeper into the darkness and laid still hoping the orcs wouldn't see me. Minutes like hours passed but I decided to keep moving .
There was a forest ahead and my eyes focused on two small figures sitting together EATING. Eating , I ask you. No search party or botched rescue even. "Hi guys," I said.