Disclaimer – I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.
Chapter 3 – The Museum
"So how did it go last night?" Louise asked as she slid into her seat beside Cassie.
"Oh, fine" Cassie said, nodding at her best friend.
Cassie poked at the plate of food in front of her, "Hmmm" she said. Louise was also poking at her own plate of food, which consisted of a green lump, a piece of meat and gravy.
"So, what do you think it is?" Louise asked.
"I don't know. I'll see you later, I'm supposed to be meeting someone" Cassie said excusing herself, leaving Louise starring after her friend, amazed at her abrupt departure. Cassie had been acting weirdly recently; she knew that she had a lot on her plate at the moment but even so. She was quiet, often silent even, which was totally out of character for her. Louise knew how deeply the loss of her mother had affected Cassie and was still affecting her, but she didn't seem to want to talk about it, only bury it until it finally consumed her. Louise knew it would consume her in the end.
* * *
Cassie sighed, as she entered the museum. She had asked for permission to go round after opening hours, and as it was closed today this was the perfect time. Her decision to confront her demons in this manner had not been an easy one, but after the feelings last nights' reunion had stirred up she decided it was the only one that had any chance of working.
She stepped inside the ship that had once been her home. She stood perfectly still for a moment in the long grey corridor outside cargo bay two, reminiscing of the days when she ran up these corridors, or played hide and seek with Naomi in them. It was so quiet now, so empty; it was hard to think that this ship had once been full of life, a home to its inhabitants. That was only three years ago, but that time appeared to be long forgotten, replaced by an eminent sadness and a faint smell of death and unending pain. She had been born on this ship, but it no longer held any happiness for her.
A lone tear fell down her cheek, as she continued her journey through the endless corridors to the turbo lift. She quickly wiped it away, she had promised herself today would not be a time to remember the pain and suffering she had felt last time she had been here, but to remember the good times. She had not been on board this ship since that fateful day three years ago.
Arriving at the turbo lift, she stepped onboard and commanded, "Bridge."
Standing tall and straight in the turbo lift she remembered the many times she had rode the turbo lift to the bridge, yet still at the back of her mind she was being reminded of the last time she rode it. That time too she had been alone, a girl of fourteen about to face her past and what would be her future, all alone. She shook the thought off and swallowed trying to ease the dryness in her throat.
The turbo lift doors slid open to reveal an immaculate bridge, very different from the day voyager had arrived back home three years ago. Then it had been covered in smoke, exploding consoles, and fallen bulkheads. She rounded the tactical station and stepped down the steps she had stepped down so many times. Turning she stepped down the step into the ready room, but stopped before entering, how many times she had stood here, how many times had she gone into this room, but this time was different. She stepped through the door and into the ready room, this time there was no smile, no hug, no smell of coffee, this time it was empty and perfectly silent. No longer was it full of a woman's radiating warmth, only bitter silence. This time she allowed herself to cry, sitting on the bottom step up to the second level of the ready room. Last time she had entered this room it had been on her mothers, "come", and never had she ever been in here without her, now here she was alone. Never would she hear her mother tell her to come in again, or see her sat behind a pile of pads at her desk, or sat on the sofa drinking coffee. Never again.
After a few minutes she stood up, wiped her tears from her face, and walked over to the desk. A ghost of a smile passed over her face as she remembered the times when she had sat and watched her mother work, or she had argued with her about not having fun. Then as she got older she had argued over more serious things, all for her mothers benefit, she could almost laugh at the irony nowadays, all those years she spent being frightened of loosing her mother, begging her not to do outrageous things and just as she thought it was all over, just as she stopped arguing, she lost her.
Cassie gripped the edge of the desk hard, until her hand ached. Then she removed it and ran her fingers over the desk, the chair and lastly the computer. Turning away she headed up to the second level, to look out the window. It was a very different sight to what her mother had seen out of this window, although it was probably what she dreamed she might see one day; San Francisco illuminated in the early morning sunlight. She stayed there for several seconds, before moving towards the door. She couldn't stay here, this was the past, she couldn't carry on the way she was, she had to resolve this, and move on.
Stepping outside the ready room, she found herself standing on the exact spot her mother had died; she closed her eyes in a pathetic attempt to block out the memory. Opening her eyes she found herself looking at where she had been lying, she knew deep down that she could have saved her mother that day, if only she had known in time. She remembered her mother lying barely conscious under the bulkhead, she remembered crawling to her, begging her not to leave her, but she did. She told her to be strong, be brave and never to forget how much she loved her. Her mothers last words, before going limp in her arms. A scene that she had replayed in her dreams nearly every night for the last three years. A scene that had brought her nothing, but taken everything.
Taking a deep breath, she moved on, leaving the bridge and heading for the exit. This would be the last time she would visit this ship, she would never come here again, never. She would forget voyager, and all that came with it.
-Fin-
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