Well, here's a bit of oddball humor that wandered into my head the other day, decided it liked it there, and refused to wander back out until I wrote it down...so, here ya go. =^_^;=
As for disclaimers, the characters of Reiko and Otome belong to me, as do Yami LH-chan, and the kitties (who are actually my real-life kitties), all others belong to their various owners, who are numerous, and know who they are (aka, not me =^_~=).
The Closet
LH-chan '02-'03
It was a place of mystery, it was a place of chaos, it was a place of dustbunnies, it was...a bedroom, calm, quiet, and slightly messy. It was also empty, with the exception of two cats, one a blonde tabby and the other grey and white splotched, who slept on either side of a notebook with a big silver star on it's cover.
With surprising suddenness—or, at least, what would have been surprising suddenness, if anyone other than the two sleeping kitties had been in the room—the cover of the notebook flew back, and with a rush of turning pages and a flash of bright light, two girls were standing in the room, looking perplexed.
The kitties, despite all the light and noise, continued sleeping peacefully.
"Wow...I can't believe that worked!" exclaimed the shorter of the two girls, a vaguely Asian looking teenager with short black hair and a rather violently hued school uniform. She looked perky enough to start bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.
"What the... Who are you?" exclaimed the taller girl, who wore an all-concealing garment of mottled tan and grey, which looked like a cross between a cloak and a trench coat, it's hood pulled up onto her head. Her manner was much more sedate, and, however shocked she may have been to have just appeared in the bedroom by jumping out of a notebook, she managed to convey it without losing all dignity.
"I'm Hoshino Otome! Who are you?" piped the short, perky, girl.
"I am Dokyouno Reiko," said the taller girl, still decidedly calmer, then, slowly. "Are you from a story too?"
Otome nodded, in what Reiko guessed was supposed to be a somber manner, the girl's face seemed grimmer, but she still looked as though she was only just restraining herself from bouncing.
"I'm from 'Protector Princess Yumeko.' Which story are you in?"
"Project Neko," Reiko answered, remembering now what she'd jumped out of the book to do in the first place. "That LH-chan! I won't forgive her for what she's trying to do to me!"
"Couldn't be worse than what she's trying to do to me," said Otome.
"Yeah," said Reiko, in a manner, which, had she been present, LH-chan would have complained was really out of character, since Reiko is usually being broody and misunderstood. "Well, she's thinking of killing me at the end of my story."
"She's thinking of killing me at the end of my story, too," said Otome, whose current state of character LH-chan wouldn't have complained about much at all.
"She's going to blow me up in front of my best friend," said Reiko, shifting from conversation to mindless one-up-man ship.
"Well, she gave my best friend uncontrollable psychic powers, so she can see me blow up from anywhere in the world," countered Otome.
Reiko winced in sympathy; that was pretty bad.
"Which brings me to the reason I tried to get out of the notebook," said Otome. "I've got to find out where she's keeping all her awful ideas and get rid of them before it's too late."
"My thoughts exactly," said Reiko.
"Y'know," said Otome, suddenly thoughtful, "we should probably start looking before LH-chan comes home."
Reiko looked quite shocked, in an anime-girl sort of way, at this statement of the ignored obvious—which, once more, LH-chan would probably say was out of character, but, well, LH-chan is one dimensional and stupid sometimes.
"So," Otome voiced the thousand dollar question, "where should we start looking?"
"Hmm..." Reiko cast a critical eye around the room, taking in bed, desk, various bits of audio-visual equipment, stacks of anime DVD and manga, the pile of freshly washed laundry in the chair, the computer...
Both Otome and Reiko eyed the computer dubiously, considering, but, frankly, neither of the girls was the brains of the outfit, as it were, in their respective stories, and, really, between the two of them, they'd probably have trouble operating a blender.
"Er..." Otome ventured, "lets try the closet."
"Yeah...good idea," said Reiko slowly.
That decided, the two ill-fated characters, after a bit of trouble with the odd, homemade, and functionless for its true purpose, "cat-proof" latch, opened the closet doors and began to rifle through its contents, alternately naming, and dismissing, the things they threw from the messy closet into a pile on the floor.
"Red kitty blanket."
"No."
"CD-R's."
"No."
"PlayStation games."
"No."
"OutlawStar DVD."
"No."
"Glass chessboard."
"No."
The sound of breaking glass rang out from the pile behind them.
"Oh...crap..."
"Why on Earth did you throw the glass chessboard?"
"Sorry...sorry..."
"We'd better look through this stuff faster...LH-chan will probably do even worse things to us if she finds out we've been breaking her stuff."
"Worse than killing us?"
"Yes! If anyone could do it, she could."
Both girls shuddered, then continued their rifling at a higher speed. Remarkably, the kitties on the bed slept on, oblivious to the breaking glass and shouting.
"Dreamcast, no."
"Sega Genesis, no."
"Dreamcast keyboard, no."
"What's up with all the Sega hardware?"
"I think I hit a fandom pocket."
"Ooaah!"
"Sonic plushie, no."
"Rollerblades, no."
"Oriental jewelry box, no."
"Infinite rolling plastic drawers of doom, no."
"The Hell?"
"Sorry, the list was getting boring."
"And so we stomp upon the broken remains of the fourth wall."
"Redwall books, no."
"Harry Potter books, no."
"Duel Monsters cards, no."
"Notebook with holographic lightning bolt on the cover, no...wait a second! This might be it!"
Otome and Reiko stared forebodingly at the innocuous, and rather cool, looking notebook.
"Should we open it?" asked Otome.
"The horrible things contained within its pages could happen to us the moment we open the cover," said Reiko.
"But this is what we came here to do," said Otome. "So we've gotta do it!"
Both of the girls, each being the tragic hero who lives by her ideals no matter what, in their respective stories, found that they could not disagree with that logic. Tentatively, they reached toward the cover, and, together, they opened the notebook.
The second flash of light and rustling of pages that failed to wake the kitties on the bed filled the room.