Smile
So. . . He's gone now, just like that. Tonight, as the moon rises above the distant hilltops I look out my window with my eyes red from crying, and I smile. You'd wonder why, too, wouldn't you?
There was never a lot in my life to look forward too; another day to greet, another drink to mix. So what? Tifa Lockheart always met the challenges of a new day with a lifted chin and a brave smile. The problem was, until Cloud came along, it was a meaningless, empty smile.
I sometimes wonder what it's like being special, being needed. I wonder what it feels like to make someone want to live, to make the world a better place one day at a time. I've only ever known two people who could do that. Two special people who could light up the world and then give it to you in a smile. One of them is the man I've loved all my life. The other. . . She was my best friend, and my dearest companion. May she finally find her Promised Land.
I'm not a bitter person; I've always tried to be there for others when they needed me. I guess compassion was my gift, and oh, I just keep on giving long after there's nothing left in my heart for me. It's strange, you know? I give it all away and get the wind whistling through the trees as an answer.
I know my friends will always be there for me, they care for me as I care for them. We've been through more then our share of life together, and we'll be together until the bitter end. Aeris and I, well. . . She taught me a lot about life. She touched my soul the way she did everyone else's, and she brought out the best in me. Although she's gone now, the dearest angel's wings tragically broken, in many ways we'll never really be apart.
It would have been easier if she were a regular person, someone I could dislike or be jealous of. But no. . . Never Aeris. She was kind, charitable, and always smiling as if there was nothing in the world that could ever take that away from her. She didn't bother being a stranger, merely walked into my life and tied it with her own in a single smile.
And Cloud. Her laughter entwined the ribbons that make up our lives, hearts, futures, our very souls into a single braid. I think that was what Aeris did. She brought us together when no one else could, and she alone healed the darkness that lived in Cloud's heart. With her shining eyes, her love, her smile.
And Cloud loved her too; there was never a doubt. The beautiful flower girl would open her heart innocently to Cloud, and because she loved him with every breath she took, he in turn opened his to her. The way Aeris could make you care, make you believe by speaking her heart - it was a kind of magic. Maybe that's why she was taken from us. She was too good for this world.
But it's never fair. After she unknowingly took our hearts with her on our journey, so she took them to the bottom of the lake where Cloud laid her to rest. And Cloud? He is as much an angel as she was, and he was left behind with a tear inside him that would never heal.
I wanted - I want - to be the one to show Cloud how to live with that hurt. But. . . How can I do it when I still bleed too? I cried the night Aeris died, a hundred tears or more. I still cry inside for her every time I see the stars in the sky above. People want to believe that I was happy, that I had Cloud. But they can't see the broken child inside that weeps for. . . what? Everything. For Cloud's pain, for the fact that Aeris will never again help Yuffie up when she falls, never again tease Barret, commiserate with Vincent, argue with Red, gently chide Cid, laugh with Cait Sith. Comfort me when I'm down. Smile.
It hurts me that Cloud loved her and not me, that I wasn't the one he turned too, but how could I object? I loved her too; and I will say it again until the end of time: the best friend I'll ever know. Cloud, you mean so much to me, but you should be happy. Go to Aeris, and find the angel I know you deserve, and I'll live a little happier knowing that you are happy, Cloud. I could never tell you what you meant to me, and maybe. . . Maybe as you ride off tonight, maybe one day we'll both find happiness.
I cried for you Cloud, for the love unspoken and the dreams that died in my heart as you walked out the door. I cried for the love that I'll never have, for the children I'll never know, and most of all, for blue eyes I know I'll miss the most. But you know what, Cloud? I'm not going to cry anymore. I'm stronger than that.
I'll miss you every day, but now I know that if you have to go, I'll be okay. I'll always love you Cloud, and I will never, ever forget you.
Just please, promise me that one day you'll come back. I know you've gone to find her, and I wish you happiness with all my heart. Find her Cloud, and live your fairytale. I'm not crying anymore, so don't look back. But one last thing, Cloud. When you return with Aeris in your arms, I'll be waiting for you. . .
With a smile.
So. . . He's gone now, just like that. Tonight, as the moon rises above the distant hilltops I look out my window with my eyes red from crying, and I smile. You'd wonder why, too, wouldn't you?
There was never a lot in my life to look forward too; another day to greet, another drink to mix. So what? Tifa Lockheart always met the challenges of a new day with a lifted chin and a brave smile. The problem was, until Cloud came along, it was a meaningless, empty smile.
I sometimes wonder what it's like being special, being needed. I wonder what it feels like to make someone want to live, to make the world a better place one day at a time. I've only ever known two people who could do that. Two special people who could light up the world and then give it to you in a smile. One of them is the man I've loved all my life. The other. . . She was my best friend, and my dearest companion. May she finally find her Promised Land.
I'm not a bitter person; I've always tried to be there for others when they needed me. I guess compassion was my gift, and oh, I just keep on giving long after there's nothing left in my heart for me. It's strange, you know? I give it all away and get the wind whistling through the trees as an answer.
I know my friends will always be there for me, they care for me as I care for them. We've been through more then our share of life together, and we'll be together until the bitter end. Aeris and I, well. . . She taught me a lot about life. She touched my soul the way she did everyone else's, and she brought out the best in me. Although she's gone now, the dearest angel's wings tragically broken, in many ways we'll never really be apart.
It would have been easier if she were a regular person, someone I could dislike or be jealous of. But no. . . Never Aeris. She was kind, charitable, and always smiling as if there was nothing in the world that could ever take that away from her. She didn't bother being a stranger, merely walked into my life and tied it with her own in a single smile.
And Cloud. Her laughter entwined the ribbons that make up our lives, hearts, futures, our very souls into a single braid. I think that was what Aeris did. She brought us together when no one else could, and she alone healed the darkness that lived in Cloud's heart. With her shining eyes, her love, her smile.
And Cloud loved her too; there was never a doubt. The beautiful flower girl would open her heart innocently to Cloud, and because she loved him with every breath she took, he in turn opened his to her. The way Aeris could make you care, make you believe by speaking her heart - it was a kind of magic. Maybe that's why she was taken from us. She was too good for this world.
But it's never fair. After she unknowingly took our hearts with her on our journey, so she took them to the bottom of the lake where Cloud laid her to rest. And Cloud? He is as much an angel as she was, and he was left behind with a tear inside him that would never heal.
I wanted - I want - to be the one to show Cloud how to live with that hurt. But. . . How can I do it when I still bleed too? I cried the night Aeris died, a hundred tears or more. I still cry inside for her every time I see the stars in the sky above. People want to believe that I was happy, that I had Cloud. But they can't see the broken child inside that weeps for. . . what? Everything. For Cloud's pain, for the fact that Aeris will never again help Yuffie up when she falls, never again tease Barret, commiserate with Vincent, argue with Red, gently chide Cid, laugh with Cait Sith. Comfort me when I'm down. Smile.
It hurts me that Cloud loved her and not me, that I wasn't the one he turned too, but how could I object? I loved her too; and I will say it again until the end of time: the best friend I'll ever know. Cloud, you mean so much to me, but you should be happy. Go to Aeris, and find the angel I know you deserve, and I'll live a little happier knowing that you are happy, Cloud. I could never tell you what you meant to me, and maybe. . . Maybe as you ride off tonight, maybe one day we'll both find happiness.
I cried for you Cloud, for the love unspoken and the dreams that died in my heart as you walked out the door. I cried for the love that I'll never have, for the children I'll never know, and most of all, for blue eyes I know I'll miss the most. But you know what, Cloud? I'm not going to cry anymore. I'm stronger than that.
I'll miss you every day, but now I know that if you have to go, I'll be okay. I'll always love you Cloud, and I will never, ever forget you.
Just please, promise me that one day you'll come back. I know you've gone to find her, and I wish you happiness with all my heart. Find her Cloud, and live your fairytale. I'm not crying anymore, so don't look back. But one last thing, Cloud. When you return with Aeris in your arms, I'll be waiting for you. . .
With a smile.