Disclaimer: Harry is not mine, he belongs to J. K.
"There she is!" Harry thought. He'd finally found Cho on the balcony, looking out over the Quidditch field. After they had exhausted the subject of Quidditch with the Weasley twins over dinner, they'd had two awkward dances together. Cho's stiff elbows had kept Harry strictly at arm's length and her eyes avoided his as if he was a basilisk. Then Harry had gone to get her a drink, returned to find her vanished, and had by now spent the majority of the evening looking for her. He now approached her quietly and soon realized that she'd been crying; as soon as she saw that he was there, she turned her head away and wiped her eyes. Harry hadn't the slightest idea how to deal with a crying girl, and so he just stood there in an awkward silence that he hoped was comforting and supportive.
Cho suddenly spoke. "I still miss him."
Harry didn't have to ask who she meant. He knew. His heart sank. "Oh," he replied dumbly, not knowing what else he might say.
"I can't help feeling like he's still around, you know, like I'll turn the corner and there he'll be. Every place I go in this school it feels like he belongs there, like it's not complete without him somehow." She wiped her eyes again, looking down. "I'm not usually so broken up about it or anything," she added apologetically, with a glance out the corner of her eye toward Harry, "maybe it was the dance that brought it all back." ("Oh, sure, that makes me feel loads better," Harry thought bitterly.) "You know, I still even dream about him." She admitted, a bit embarrassed.
"Me too." Harry replied.
That shocked Cho into looking at him. "What? You? What kinds of dreams?" she asked, confused.
"Well, in good ones, we're fighting Voldemort side by side and winning," Cho flinched at the name. Harry smiled at this idea for a moment before his voice hardened and grew bitter. "And in the bad ones he accuses me of killing him."
"Killing him! But you didn't--" said Cho, astonished.
This time Harry was the one avoiding eye contact. "I may as well have. It was my idea that we take the Triwizard Cup together. It was because of me that he came to the graveyard that night. I was the only one Voldemort wanted. Cedric was killed just because he was there." Harry didn't mention that his guilt also came from the jealousy and resentment he'd felt toward Cedric during his life, and that Cho herself was one of the biggest reasons for it.
"Oh, Harry! I never realized.but that still doesn't mean it's your fault, you weren't the one that killed him, it was You-Know-Who! I don't blame you, his parents don't blame you, and I know Cedric wouldn't blame you! You've no reason to go on blaming yourself."
He flashed her a weak smile. "I know. But I do anyway."
She didn't seem to know how to respond to that, and there was a pause. Harry took a deep breath and decided to make one last feeble try at winning Cho's affections for himself. She'd given him the idea.
"You know, he wouldn't want you to keep on feeling like this either." he said nervously, his tone hopeful but not wheedling.
"I know. But I do anyway." Her voice was resigned, but completely decided.
Harry was taken aback at having his own words thrown in his face. But then he almost laughed at their appropriateness. They were both caught in the same net-feeling what reason told them they shouldn't, bound both willingly and against their will to a dead friend.but instead of bringing them together, as it could have, it drove a wedge between them. But, strangely, the moment Harry understood what she meant, he felt different. Standing next to her was instantly no longer a source of tension, energy and excitement. She was still undeniably pretty, but he was no longer consumed by the desire to study her for hours on end. Her beauty was now something he merely noted. Harry felt his attraction to Cho die within him like the burnt-out embers of a fire, and, as he noticed this feeling, a scene came into his mind unbidden: himself, taking Cho's hand and putting it into Cedric's, saying without a trace of resentment or defeat, "She's yours, friend." This conversation with Cho could easily have simply perpetuated Harry's jealousy of a dead man and his attraction to a girl he could never truly have. But, surprisingly, it had had quite the opposite effect. Harry could not explain even to himself why it felt reasonable to him to say a quick prayer of thanks to Cedric for this mercy.
These revelations were accompanied by yet another awkward silence. Cho broke it this time, with an apologetic plea: "Harry, I'm sorry, I just don't think I'm ready."
Harry nodded. "Yes. I can see that. I'm sorry too." And for good-bye he kissed her on the cheek, a light, dry peck, much like he might have kissed Hermione, or even Mrs. Weasley, if given a good reason. He squeezed her hand once and gave her a crooked smile, as if to say, "No hard feelings." And "Hang in there." Then Harry turned around, leaving Cho on the balcony with her thoughts and memories, and returned to the dance.
The first person he saw was Ginny Weasley.
A/N: gotta love the dot dot dot! More coming soon, please review!
"There she is!" Harry thought. He'd finally found Cho on the balcony, looking out over the Quidditch field. After they had exhausted the subject of Quidditch with the Weasley twins over dinner, they'd had two awkward dances together. Cho's stiff elbows had kept Harry strictly at arm's length and her eyes avoided his as if he was a basilisk. Then Harry had gone to get her a drink, returned to find her vanished, and had by now spent the majority of the evening looking for her. He now approached her quietly and soon realized that she'd been crying; as soon as she saw that he was there, she turned her head away and wiped her eyes. Harry hadn't the slightest idea how to deal with a crying girl, and so he just stood there in an awkward silence that he hoped was comforting and supportive.
Cho suddenly spoke. "I still miss him."
Harry didn't have to ask who she meant. He knew. His heart sank. "Oh," he replied dumbly, not knowing what else he might say.
"I can't help feeling like he's still around, you know, like I'll turn the corner and there he'll be. Every place I go in this school it feels like he belongs there, like it's not complete without him somehow." She wiped her eyes again, looking down. "I'm not usually so broken up about it or anything," she added apologetically, with a glance out the corner of her eye toward Harry, "maybe it was the dance that brought it all back." ("Oh, sure, that makes me feel loads better," Harry thought bitterly.) "You know, I still even dream about him." She admitted, a bit embarrassed.
"Me too." Harry replied.
That shocked Cho into looking at him. "What? You? What kinds of dreams?" she asked, confused.
"Well, in good ones, we're fighting Voldemort side by side and winning," Cho flinched at the name. Harry smiled at this idea for a moment before his voice hardened and grew bitter. "And in the bad ones he accuses me of killing him."
"Killing him! But you didn't--" said Cho, astonished.
This time Harry was the one avoiding eye contact. "I may as well have. It was my idea that we take the Triwizard Cup together. It was because of me that he came to the graveyard that night. I was the only one Voldemort wanted. Cedric was killed just because he was there." Harry didn't mention that his guilt also came from the jealousy and resentment he'd felt toward Cedric during his life, and that Cho herself was one of the biggest reasons for it.
"Oh, Harry! I never realized.but that still doesn't mean it's your fault, you weren't the one that killed him, it was You-Know-Who! I don't blame you, his parents don't blame you, and I know Cedric wouldn't blame you! You've no reason to go on blaming yourself."
He flashed her a weak smile. "I know. But I do anyway."
She didn't seem to know how to respond to that, and there was a pause. Harry took a deep breath and decided to make one last feeble try at winning Cho's affections for himself. She'd given him the idea.
"You know, he wouldn't want you to keep on feeling like this either." he said nervously, his tone hopeful but not wheedling.
"I know. But I do anyway." Her voice was resigned, but completely decided.
Harry was taken aback at having his own words thrown in his face. But then he almost laughed at their appropriateness. They were both caught in the same net-feeling what reason told them they shouldn't, bound both willingly and against their will to a dead friend.but instead of bringing them together, as it could have, it drove a wedge between them. But, strangely, the moment Harry understood what she meant, he felt different. Standing next to her was instantly no longer a source of tension, energy and excitement. She was still undeniably pretty, but he was no longer consumed by the desire to study her for hours on end. Her beauty was now something he merely noted. Harry felt his attraction to Cho die within him like the burnt-out embers of a fire, and, as he noticed this feeling, a scene came into his mind unbidden: himself, taking Cho's hand and putting it into Cedric's, saying without a trace of resentment or defeat, "She's yours, friend." This conversation with Cho could easily have simply perpetuated Harry's jealousy of a dead man and his attraction to a girl he could never truly have. But, surprisingly, it had had quite the opposite effect. Harry could not explain even to himself why it felt reasonable to him to say a quick prayer of thanks to Cedric for this mercy.
These revelations were accompanied by yet another awkward silence. Cho broke it this time, with an apologetic plea: "Harry, I'm sorry, I just don't think I'm ready."
Harry nodded. "Yes. I can see that. I'm sorry too." And for good-bye he kissed her on the cheek, a light, dry peck, much like he might have kissed Hermione, or even Mrs. Weasley, if given a good reason. He squeezed her hand once and gave her a crooked smile, as if to say, "No hard feelings." And "Hang in there." Then Harry turned around, leaving Cho on the balcony with her thoughts and memories, and returned to the dance.
The first person he saw was Ginny Weasley.
A/N: gotta love the dot dot dot! More coming soon, please review!