a/n: thanks for the reviews guys! Any help or suggestions on this chapter
would be GREATLY appreciated; it was very hard to write and I think it's
far from perfect. But anyway, enjoy!
Hermione was mostly very glad and relieved that Ron had broken that stare, but she was also a bit disappointed. It reminded her of something she'd heard about secondhand from Harry (and had later read up on, of course): Priori Incantatem-the bonding of the cores of brother wands which are forced to duel. In fact, that seemed to be the only way to describe it. That gaze had been just as volatile as the bond that had united the wands of Harry and Voldemort for just long enough to save Harry's life. It held two equal and opposite possibilities. There was the obvious attraction in it, a possibility of something lasting and beautiful. But there was also the risk of losing forever not only the new attraction, but also the older, underlying friendship that gave it its substance. Even as friends, Ron and Hermione constantly had to tiptoe around each other's feelings; they were often bickering. They were passionate, emotional people who never hesitated to speak their minds, and their personalities happened to clash. What would happen if there was no mystery to solve together, no common purpose to force them to overcome their differences? And who knew how fierce their rows might become if this began? Add to that the fact that the two of them were fully capable of carrying a grudge to the grave, and it was hard to see how Harry could expect to remain friends with them both for much longer.
Hermione sighed, thinking of how awful the awkwardness of the date's beginnings had been. Without Harry to mediate in making the date, they surely would have had a worse fight than last year's. And when she'd come down from the dormitory, that had been a scene. It was bound to be awkward, not in spite of the fact that they were friends, but because of it. There was the fear of messing up what they already had, the constant question of how anything they might say or do could change their friendship. That fear, much more than the fear of the intensity of their possible love or possible hate, was really what kept them apart at the moment. Fear of the uncertain future that this dance ushered in and a heartfelt wish to return to less complicated days when none of this had ever occurred to them, even unconsciously. That stare was a milestone, a perfect meeting of love and hate, past and future: a rare and strange mix, more perfectly blended than Hermione's potions. It had scared her, and that was why Hermione was glad Ron had broken the stare. But she couldn't deny that, at the same time, she had found it exciting, even the dangerous part of it, the perilous search for balance between extremes. "Maybe it's really a part of my character, and I've just been denying it to myself all this time." Hermione mused, "I crave excitement and adventure, I need people around me who keep me on my toes. Maybe that's really why I became friends with those two in the first place. They've been bringing out my wild streak more and more, and I've enjoyed every minute of it, haven't I?"
But, while Hermione could admit that she liked a part of the inherent excitement of that look, she was not ready to admit to herself the way she really felt about Ron. She did not know. It was deep inside her, secret even from herself, growing within her like either the germinating seed of a flower or the first malignant cells of a tumor, so hidden that it could not cause her any pain yet, no matter whether it later became bloom or blight. Though Hermione was much more aware of the entire situation and its meaning than Ron was, she was no more self-aware that night. She could uncover a new aspect of her character and accept it, but she failed to take this revelation to its necessary conclusion: like her need for adventure, and perhaps because of it, it was a part of her very personality to love her opposite.
So there were many things that Hermione was very pointedly not thinking about, as the dance went on. What she was thinking about, with a little surprise, was how well Ron had dealt with the potentially awkward moment just after he had blinked. Instead of immaturely pushing her away or saying something foolish, he had moved closer to her, only over her shoulder so he could avoid her eyes.
"Well, if he can do that much, I surely can too," Hermione thought, and laid her head down on his shoulder. They fit together quite comfortably, with her temple resting on his collarbone. She liked the way his chest felt so solid and real against her face. "Not terrible at all." Hermione thought, glimpsing their clasped hands through the gap under his chin, and she smiled.
a/n: next, final chapter! Please review!
Hermione was mostly very glad and relieved that Ron had broken that stare, but she was also a bit disappointed. It reminded her of something she'd heard about secondhand from Harry (and had later read up on, of course): Priori Incantatem-the bonding of the cores of brother wands which are forced to duel. In fact, that seemed to be the only way to describe it. That gaze had been just as volatile as the bond that had united the wands of Harry and Voldemort for just long enough to save Harry's life. It held two equal and opposite possibilities. There was the obvious attraction in it, a possibility of something lasting and beautiful. But there was also the risk of losing forever not only the new attraction, but also the older, underlying friendship that gave it its substance. Even as friends, Ron and Hermione constantly had to tiptoe around each other's feelings; they were often bickering. They were passionate, emotional people who never hesitated to speak their minds, and their personalities happened to clash. What would happen if there was no mystery to solve together, no common purpose to force them to overcome their differences? And who knew how fierce their rows might become if this began? Add to that the fact that the two of them were fully capable of carrying a grudge to the grave, and it was hard to see how Harry could expect to remain friends with them both for much longer.
Hermione sighed, thinking of how awful the awkwardness of the date's beginnings had been. Without Harry to mediate in making the date, they surely would have had a worse fight than last year's. And when she'd come down from the dormitory, that had been a scene. It was bound to be awkward, not in spite of the fact that they were friends, but because of it. There was the fear of messing up what they already had, the constant question of how anything they might say or do could change their friendship. That fear, much more than the fear of the intensity of their possible love or possible hate, was really what kept them apart at the moment. Fear of the uncertain future that this dance ushered in and a heartfelt wish to return to less complicated days when none of this had ever occurred to them, even unconsciously. That stare was a milestone, a perfect meeting of love and hate, past and future: a rare and strange mix, more perfectly blended than Hermione's potions. It had scared her, and that was why Hermione was glad Ron had broken the stare. But she couldn't deny that, at the same time, she had found it exciting, even the dangerous part of it, the perilous search for balance between extremes. "Maybe it's really a part of my character, and I've just been denying it to myself all this time." Hermione mused, "I crave excitement and adventure, I need people around me who keep me on my toes. Maybe that's really why I became friends with those two in the first place. They've been bringing out my wild streak more and more, and I've enjoyed every minute of it, haven't I?"
But, while Hermione could admit that she liked a part of the inherent excitement of that look, she was not ready to admit to herself the way she really felt about Ron. She did not know. It was deep inside her, secret even from herself, growing within her like either the germinating seed of a flower or the first malignant cells of a tumor, so hidden that it could not cause her any pain yet, no matter whether it later became bloom or blight. Though Hermione was much more aware of the entire situation and its meaning than Ron was, she was no more self-aware that night. She could uncover a new aspect of her character and accept it, but she failed to take this revelation to its necessary conclusion: like her need for adventure, and perhaps because of it, it was a part of her very personality to love her opposite.
So there were many things that Hermione was very pointedly not thinking about, as the dance went on. What she was thinking about, with a little surprise, was how well Ron had dealt with the potentially awkward moment just after he had blinked. Instead of immaturely pushing her away or saying something foolish, he had moved closer to her, only over her shoulder so he could avoid her eyes.
"Well, if he can do that much, I surely can too," Hermione thought, and laid her head down on his shoulder. They fit together quite comfortably, with her temple resting on his collarbone. She liked the way his chest felt so solid and real against her face. "Not terrible at all." Hermione thought, glimpsing their clasped hands through the gap under his chin, and she smiled.
a/n: next, final chapter! Please review!