She could feel the trickle down her arms, as she slipped into the warm
bath, the comforting water clinging to her clothes. Her arms were still
numb, but she lay there, thinking.
The past few years, she hadn't been able to stand getting up every morning, and facing the people who she still could not trust. She just wanted to lie in bed, and waste the day away. She didn't think life was getting any better, but she didn't know how many others were feeling the same way. Her eyes were still sore from crying. Lana had wanted to talk to someone. Clark, Chloe. but she was afraid of what they would think of her. She was afraid that they would tell someone, and they'd treat her very differently. She wanted to tell someone that she hated her life, that she wanted to be someone else, live someone else's life.
She didn't know if someone was supposed to be as upset as she has been. It wasn't one particular thing. She just couldn't stand facing everyone, doing things she hated. Many people didn't know, but she hated going to school. She was sick of learning, doing work that wouldn't matter when the school year was over. Lana sat in the bath, her eyes straining to let the tears come out, for the millionth time that day. She wanted to tell someone everything she was feeling, and for them to make everything better, to make her life perfect. Perfect. She knew no one had a perfect life, but it was something worth imagining.
She wanted it to have been done differently. That maybe fate would have gotten to her first, and she wouldn't have to feel guilty. Lana waited a few years, but nothing happened. Was she scared? At first she was, but she didn't know what to do with her life. She didn't know what would happen later, and she didn't want to know. She felt like she had no future, stuck in some small town that she wanted to run away from. She had also thought of running away, sitting on the streets of Metropolis, hiding from people that might recognize her. She felt as though no one could help her now, no one seemed to want to help her now.
Maybe she was being selfish, but would everyone's life be easier without her? She felt useless. Her friends had been great, they made her smile, they made her laugh, but it wasn't enough. Sometimes it wasn't enough for her to try anymore. But, if there were people she was going to miss the most, it would be her friends. Being around them was a refuge, a refuge from anyone that tried to control her life. She felt the control was out of her hands, but took drastic action.
She watched as her blood stained the water, turning a deeper red. She lay her head down on the cold bathtub, her eyes stinging, her strength dissipating. Lana wondered who would be the first to find her. Clark had usually been her hero, rescuing her from near death experiences; she had a feeling he wouldn't be able to save her this time. She wished it wouldn't be like this. Lana sunk her body deeper into the water, closed her eyes, and smiled.
The past few years, she hadn't been able to stand getting up every morning, and facing the people who she still could not trust. She just wanted to lie in bed, and waste the day away. She didn't think life was getting any better, but she didn't know how many others were feeling the same way. Her eyes were still sore from crying. Lana had wanted to talk to someone. Clark, Chloe. but she was afraid of what they would think of her. She was afraid that they would tell someone, and they'd treat her very differently. She wanted to tell someone that she hated her life, that she wanted to be someone else, live someone else's life.
She didn't know if someone was supposed to be as upset as she has been. It wasn't one particular thing. She just couldn't stand facing everyone, doing things she hated. Many people didn't know, but she hated going to school. She was sick of learning, doing work that wouldn't matter when the school year was over. Lana sat in the bath, her eyes straining to let the tears come out, for the millionth time that day. She wanted to tell someone everything she was feeling, and for them to make everything better, to make her life perfect. Perfect. She knew no one had a perfect life, but it was something worth imagining.
She wanted it to have been done differently. That maybe fate would have gotten to her first, and she wouldn't have to feel guilty. Lana waited a few years, but nothing happened. Was she scared? At first she was, but she didn't know what to do with her life. She didn't know what would happen later, and she didn't want to know. She felt like she had no future, stuck in some small town that she wanted to run away from. She had also thought of running away, sitting on the streets of Metropolis, hiding from people that might recognize her. She felt as though no one could help her now, no one seemed to want to help her now.
Maybe she was being selfish, but would everyone's life be easier without her? She felt useless. Her friends had been great, they made her smile, they made her laugh, but it wasn't enough. Sometimes it wasn't enough for her to try anymore. But, if there were people she was going to miss the most, it would be her friends. Being around them was a refuge, a refuge from anyone that tried to control her life. She felt the control was out of her hands, but took drastic action.
She watched as her blood stained the water, turning a deeper red. She lay her head down on the cold bathtub, her eyes stinging, her strength dissipating. Lana wondered who would be the first to find her. Clark had usually been her hero, rescuing her from near death experiences; she had a feeling he wouldn't be able to save her this time. She wished it wouldn't be like this. Lana sunk her body deeper into the water, closed her eyes, and smiled.