Ok...as all who are reading this chapter know, this is part two of my Silent Hill fic, which takes Harry through Sandwich Elementary School up to the Church. If you really want more of this, review or e-mail me (NightSorceror87@aol.com). Thanx to all the great reviews. And now, on with the stupidity known as Silent Hill.
(Oh yes, I own none of this, Konami, yeah...)
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Not-so-Silent Hill...Part 2: Crazy People and bad movie actors
As Bill walked of into the darkness, he dropped a little beeper from his pack. Harry says, "Yeah, got me a beeper. There's lots of shit lying all around here for me to snatch." Suddenly, the beeper begins to go off, playing Britney's "Oops! I did it again!" as a buzzer. He looks around, seeing a small girl in the center of the room. He walks towards her, not realizing that it is actually the crazy girl from "The Ring." Harry taps her on the back. He doesn't realize it ,(like he doesn't realize much) but there is water all around her, her hair is pulled in front of her face, and she is wearing the dress Madonna wore to the Emmy's last year. Harry says, "Umm, excuse me, but have you seen my little girl anywhere. Tall, blonde hair...answers to the name of Cybil?" The girl, who's already crazy enough when she forgets to take her Prozac, turns around (which is hard to tell because of the ghetto hair) and grabs Harry around the throat .
**********Alternate ending 5**********
Harry, being like every other horror movie star, struggles aimlessly and dies in an overly dramatic pose.
Harry pulls out his gun and shoots that bitch down. (YaY!) She stumbles back, and then falls to the ground in a bloody heap of skin and an inch of silk. He says, "Wow, this beeper must go off whenever bad acting is taking place." The booming voice from before yells, "No, dumbass, it goes off whenever there are people trying to kill you in the room." He replies, "You know, mom, you're supposed to be in the home now. How do you keep talking to me?" There is no response. He walks off, exploring the school, finding more ammunition, dead bodies, more extras from horror movies, and Jennifer Lopez. Not only does she sing, dance, and act- now she's in bad video game parodies! Harry doesn't waste any time in killing and throwing her body into the pile of other dead celebrities in the fan room. When he reaches the basement, he suddenly has a revelation to look behind him (something horror stars NEVER do.) There is OJ Simpson, pointing a shotgun at him. Harry asks, "What are you doing?" OJ replies, "I aint doing nothing, why are people always asking me that?" He tries to pull the trigger, yet the pair of black gloves he is wearing is to small for him and stop his finger mid-pull. "Oh fuck it," OJ yells and throws the gun at Harry. He runs off, dropping the gloves and a knife on his way. Harry picks up the gun, saying "I might need this for the big demon in the basement...oh yeah...'This might be of use...'"
He walks up to the revolving spike door, seeing that there are two little wheels and a bunch of pipes around it. He says, "Gee, am I supposed to sit here for three hours trying to figure out how to open the gate? I don't think so..." and crawls between the bars. He comes out in front of an elevator. He gets in it, deciding that nothing can go wrong at this point.
**********Alternate ending 6**********
After the elevator is in motion, he hears a grinding noise, and in moments the elevator plunges to a deadly crash; making many tendrils of smoke and fire appear.
When the elevator reaches the 50th level basement, he walks into a room that has a small fire pit in it. In the middle of the pit, there is a giant lizard looking thing that is actually the T-Rex from Jurassic Park. Harry runs around, screaming "Oh my god...Oh my god...Oh my god...Oh my god...Oh my god..."
**********Alternate ending 7**********
The lizard, tired of hearing him, kills Harry and serves him to his children in the sewers..
Harry loads his shotgun, of course dropping half of the shells in the process. He shoots at the T-Rex, but of course it is nothing more that a computer image and the bullets go right through it. He sees a small laptop on a table across the room, and putting two and five together, shoots it. As the deadly dino dastardly downloads downward (Ha alliteration is cool...) He screams out "I'm melting, I'm melting, damn you Enron, damn you!" Harry walks toward the laptop, keen on checking if it works so he can check his AOL account for mail, but trips.
**********Alternate ending 8**********
He falls into the fire pit, burning to death while thinking, "Now I know what a marshmallow feels like..."
He trips and bangs his head on the table, thereby knocking himself unconscious (From this point on, I want to see how many time he gets knocked out...1...)When he comes to, a little girl is running around the room, and when Harry sees her, she stops and gapes at him. For about ten minutes they stare into each other's eyes. Eventually Harry gets bored and shoots her, like he shoots everything, and takes her house keys from her. "Kaufman...what a weird name," he said as he noticed the small tag on the ring. He gets up off the floor and walks out of the basement. He says, "Wait a minute, how did I get out of that freaky pit room?" Suddenly the world around him begins to waver and he is knocked unconscious. (2) When he comes to, he says, "Ok...no more pointing out holes in the plot. This game is like a big piece of Swiss cheese." Again the world begins to waver, but he says, "Ok Ok...I get the point..." Bells begin to sound. Harry says, "I wonder where they are coming from?" Again the Voice says, "Go to the fucking Church, you retard! Jeeze..." "Ok I better head to the Church...I'm so smart..." he replies, as if the Voice hadn't told him. (Duh...) He leaves the school, passing a bus on his way out. "Why should I go in a bus? I haven't been a student for 2 years..." he says (BTW- Harry is 30...big surprise...I know). He walks on, eventually reaching a row of houses. How he picks the right road is a mystery, but he enters a house using the key.
**********Alternate ending 9**********
Out of pure hatred of stupidity, your Author kills Harry in an overly dramatic way. he deserves it. But for those of you who are actually trying to make sense out of this, lets say he opens the door and some woman shoots him in the head because this is McGruff house...you know...shoot anyone NOT dead already....yeah.
The house is badly decorated, and has a smell of cats. When he enters it, two demon children are making out on the couch. He says, "Get a room, you two freaks..." They get up, pulling knives out of their skin (???) and advance on him. He pulls out his gun and begins to shoot at them, yet the gun makes that Oh too Familliar "outta ammo waa waa waaaa" noise. He looks at it, and says, "How the fuck d'you reload this." Suddenly, Cheryl appears and instructs him on it. She the leaves, kicking the children out the door with her.
He goes out the front door and begins to walk down the road. He passes the Church three time3s before he notices the big cross in front of it. As he walks in, an old-timey couple carrying pamphlets approach him. "Have you found Jesus yet, Son?" He backs away, drawing his gun, saying, "Yeah, he's in Heaven. Say Hi to him for me, will ya?" He, of course, shoots them. (is that really such a bad thing...?) he enters the Church (Why am I capitalizing it? I want someone to tell me why this cult leader is in a Church with some Wiccan stuff...remember that each time you see it...) to find an old white woman on the altar with her legs spread.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
It's not what you think...Or is it? Hmmm...dirty mind is wandering (he he he) If you want more review. Sorry it took ages to write Chapter 2...Chapter 3 is in the making.
Also, I'm looking for someone to discuss the game with. E-mail me (again NightSorceror87@aol.com) if you have no life and wish to hold aimless conversations with me.
\\DemonKnight//
(Oh yes, I own none of this, Konami, yeah...)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Not-so-Silent Hill...Part 2: Crazy People and bad movie actors
As Bill walked of into the darkness, he dropped a little beeper from his pack. Harry says, "Yeah, got me a beeper. There's lots of shit lying all around here for me to snatch." Suddenly, the beeper begins to go off, playing Britney's "Oops! I did it again!" as a buzzer. He looks around, seeing a small girl in the center of the room. He walks towards her, not realizing that it is actually the crazy girl from "The Ring." Harry taps her on the back. He doesn't realize it ,(like he doesn't realize much) but there is water all around her, her hair is pulled in front of her face, and she is wearing the dress Madonna wore to the Emmy's last year. Harry says, "Umm, excuse me, but have you seen my little girl anywhere. Tall, blonde hair...answers to the name of Cybil?" The girl, who's already crazy enough when she forgets to take her Prozac, turns around (which is hard to tell because of the ghetto hair) and grabs Harry around the throat .
**********Alternate ending 5**********
Harry, being like every other horror movie star, struggles aimlessly and dies in an overly dramatic pose.
Harry pulls out his gun and shoots that bitch down. (YaY!) She stumbles back, and then falls to the ground in a bloody heap of skin and an inch of silk. He says, "Wow, this beeper must go off whenever bad acting is taking place." The booming voice from before yells, "No, dumbass, it goes off whenever there are people trying to kill you in the room." He replies, "You know, mom, you're supposed to be in the home now. How do you keep talking to me?" There is no response. He walks off, exploring the school, finding more ammunition, dead bodies, more extras from horror movies, and Jennifer Lopez. Not only does she sing, dance, and act- now she's in bad video game parodies! Harry doesn't waste any time in killing and throwing her body into the pile of other dead celebrities in the fan room. When he reaches the basement, he suddenly has a revelation to look behind him (something horror stars NEVER do.) There is OJ Simpson, pointing a shotgun at him. Harry asks, "What are you doing?" OJ replies, "I aint doing nothing, why are people always asking me that?" He tries to pull the trigger, yet the pair of black gloves he is wearing is to small for him and stop his finger mid-pull. "Oh fuck it," OJ yells and throws the gun at Harry. He runs off, dropping the gloves and a knife on his way. Harry picks up the gun, saying "I might need this for the big demon in the basement...oh yeah...'This might be of use...'"
He walks up to the revolving spike door, seeing that there are two little wheels and a bunch of pipes around it. He says, "Gee, am I supposed to sit here for three hours trying to figure out how to open the gate? I don't think so..." and crawls between the bars. He comes out in front of an elevator. He gets in it, deciding that nothing can go wrong at this point.
**********Alternate ending 6**********
After the elevator is in motion, he hears a grinding noise, and in moments the elevator plunges to a deadly crash; making many tendrils of smoke and fire appear.
When the elevator reaches the 50th level basement, he walks into a room that has a small fire pit in it. In the middle of the pit, there is a giant lizard looking thing that is actually the T-Rex from Jurassic Park. Harry runs around, screaming "Oh my god...Oh my god...Oh my god...Oh my god...Oh my god..."
**********Alternate ending 7**********
The lizard, tired of hearing him, kills Harry and serves him to his children in the sewers..
Harry loads his shotgun, of course dropping half of the shells in the process. He shoots at the T-Rex, but of course it is nothing more that a computer image and the bullets go right through it. He sees a small laptop on a table across the room, and putting two and five together, shoots it. As the deadly dino dastardly downloads downward (Ha alliteration is cool...) He screams out "I'm melting, I'm melting, damn you Enron, damn you!" Harry walks toward the laptop, keen on checking if it works so he can check his AOL account for mail, but trips.
**********Alternate ending 8**********
He falls into the fire pit, burning to death while thinking, "Now I know what a marshmallow feels like..."
He trips and bangs his head on the table, thereby knocking himself unconscious (From this point on, I want to see how many time he gets knocked out...1...)When he comes to, a little girl is running around the room, and when Harry sees her, she stops and gapes at him. For about ten minutes they stare into each other's eyes. Eventually Harry gets bored and shoots her, like he shoots everything, and takes her house keys from her. "Kaufman...what a weird name," he said as he noticed the small tag on the ring. He gets up off the floor and walks out of the basement. He says, "Wait a minute, how did I get out of that freaky pit room?" Suddenly the world around him begins to waver and he is knocked unconscious. (2) When he comes to, he says, "Ok...no more pointing out holes in the plot. This game is like a big piece of Swiss cheese." Again the world begins to waver, but he says, "Ok Ok...I get the point..." Bells begin to sound. Harry says, "I wonder where they are coming from?" Again the Voice says, "Go to the fucking Church, you retard! Jeeze..." "Ok I better head to the Church...I'm so smart..." he replies, as if the Voice hadn't told him. (Duh...) He leaves the school, passing a bus on his way out. "Why should I go in a bus? I haven't been a student for 2 years..." he says (BTW- Harry is 30...big surprise...I know). He walks on, eventually reaching a row of houses. How he picks the right road is a mystery, but he enters a house using the key.
**********Alternate ending 9**********
Out of pure hatred of stupidity, your Author kills Harry in an overly dramatic way. he deserves it. But for those of you who are actually trying to make sense out of this, lets say he opens the door and some woman shoots him in the head because this is McGruff house...you know...shoot anyone NOT dead already....yeah.
The house is badly decorated, and has a smell of cats. When he enters it, two demon children are making out on the couch. He says, "Get a room, you two freaks..." They get up, pulling knives out of their skin (???) and advance on him. He pulls out his gun and begins to shoot at them, yet the gun makes that Oh too Familliar "outta ammo waa waa waaaa" noise. He looks at it, and says, "How the fuck d'you reload this." Suddenly, Cheryl appears and instructs him on it. She the leaves, kicking the children out the door with her.
He goes out the front door and begins to walk down the road. He passes the Church three time3s before he notices the big cross in front of it. As he walks in, an old-timey couple carrying pamphlets approach him. "Have you found Jesus yet, Son?" He backs away, drawing his gun, saying, "Yeah, he's in Heaven. Say Hi to him for me, will ya?" He, of course, shoots them. (is that really such a bad thing...?) he enters the Church (Why am I capitalizing it? I want someone to tell me why this cult leader is in a Church with some Wiccan stuff...remember that each time you see it...) to find an old white woman on the altar with her legs spread.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
It's not what you think...Or is it? Hmmm...dirty mind is wandering (he he he) If you want more review. Sorry it took ages to write Chapter 2...Chapter 3 is in the making.
Also, I'm looking for someone to discuss the game with. E-mail me (again NightSorceror87@aol.com) if you have no life and wish to hold aimless conversations with me.
\\DemonKnight//