All's Fair in love and War

By Soleia Nova

                A/N: Let's get straight to it people! This is the second book in the Love and War duet, so strap yourselves in ladies and gents, this is gonna be quite the ride…

Disclaimer: I'm only sayin' this once so listen up. I do not own Invader Zim. It's owned by Nickelodeon studios (ya'll suck!), some other big company (y'all blow!), and Jhonen C. Vasquez, the greatest mind in the U.S.

Chapter One: Recon, the search for the Tallest begins…

                Xanade sighed as she stared at the transparent violet liquid in the pool next to her crouched form. A brightly colored fish, similar to a koi, jumped briefly into the air before splashing back down. She heard the now-familiar footsteps as Vix came up behind her and sat, unceremoniously on the grass next to her. The magenta-haired girl tossed herself on her back and stared up a Xanade quizzically.

"What's up?"

"Hn."

"That's not an answer, and you know you'll get no peace until I get an answer. Now, let's try this again, shall we? So… what's up?"

"Nothing. Thinking…"

"What about?"

"My brothers, home… everything I could have done to keep this from happening…"

"We've discussed this Xan. It's not your fault!"

  "If I had just stayed home…"

                There was a loud smack, a screech and a slight scuffle before they returned to normal.

"What in the name of the Asylanis peninsula was that for?"

"Got you back to normal, didn't it? I'll tell Zim you'll be down for dinner in ten."

                Xanade nodded and watched her leave, amused and bemused all at once. She was never, ever gonna figure that girl out.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"What's the situation Die?"

"The space around the Irken home planet has been completely surrounded with a jamming web. The chances of a ship this size navigating it successfully is twenty-seven million to point three."

"What do you suggest?"

"Find a weak point, attack from there, and break the entire web."

"Anything a little less attention-getting?"

"We could just shrink the ship and put it in hyper-drive" Vix pointed out jokingly.

"That's it!"

"What? Xan, I was just joking!"

"No, not that. The hyper-drive. If we use it at a distance of exactly point seven kilometers, we can get the ship inside the web!"

"Can you pilot this thing that precisely?"

"No… but I know who can…" Xanade said, glancing at Gaz.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

                Gaz gritted her teeth and put the ship into hyper-drive, leaning back before the accelerated G-force could forcefully slam her into it. She closed her eyes as they passed through zero-space, the blinding whiteness seeping in under her eyelids slightly. When everything darkened once again, Gaz chanced a glance at the view outside the main front window. She grinned and let out a whoop. The rest opened their eyes as well and Vix bopped her on the head in congratulations.

"See, now you can have your Walkman back…!"

                Jake, whose gray eyes remained blankly polite as usual, patted her shoulder and offered a small smile, pushing his glasses back up over his eyes.

"Why did we come here though? I thought you said that transmission came from Conventia" Zim asked Xanade.

"I checked out the signal. It actually came from the Massive. They were using the Holo-room projectors to make it look like Conventia."

"Still… Why here?"

"Because, if I know the techs and soldiers, this is where they're hiding."

"And what do you propose to do, bring them all aboard?"

"As many as the Nebula can handle."

"So what you're saying is…"

"Suit up boys and girls, we're going on a reconnaissance mission."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

                Xanade stopped and shielded her eyes with her hand. The normally busy streets of the Irken city were deserted, devoid of any and all signs of life. At lest, they would have been to someone less observant. The power cables that ran to and fro in the street told Xanade that they led to any Irkens they hoped to find, and that was what she followed as soon as she came to that realization. The cables led them in and out of buildings, finally stopping at a small hole in the center of the floor of an empty building. A slight rustle was heard by the Irken Princess's sharp hearing and she looked back and forth uncertainly without moving her head. There it was again.

Xanade stopped in the middle of the floor and held out a hand to stop the rest of them.

"There's someone else here…" she said warningly and scanned the area for signs of life.

                A moving shadow in her peripheral vision caught her attention, coming at Vix at a speed only an Irken could have used. With a warning yell to the rest, she pushed Vix out of the way and absorbed the blow of an oncoming force lance with the shield on her right arm-cuff. She sent the figure flying over her head and turned, waiting the next attack, knowing that all around her, weapons had been drawn. The figure turned and straightened, putting down the glowing blue-black force lance and throwing its hood back. It was none other than…

"Tak?!"

"Dib?!"

"What are you doing here?!"

  "This is my planet you fool. I should be asking you the same thing!"

                They glared calculatingly at each other, tense for a few seconds until Tak caught sight of Zim.

"Dear Tallest… you're…you're…"

"Tall?" Zim supplied cockily, a smirk appearing on his face. "Hello Tak you little psycho bitch. How've you been?"

"You…!" Tak snarled and launched herself at Zim, force lance suddenly in her hand, holding the weapon high over her head.

                Xanade stepped in once again, only this time, instead of shielding, one of her long, thin, powerful arms snapped out and grabbed Tak by the throat.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Tak screeched, turning her face to Xanade and quickly stopped struggling. "Hecka? Your highness I apologize! I had no idea it was-"

"Save it…" Xanade snarled in a tone that made Tak cringe.

"Xanade, meet Tak, the horrid bitch who tried to blow me and the Earth to smithereens seven years ago. Tak, meet Xanade, my girlfriend."

"You…? A-and the E-Empress…? Oh Sjadi*, kill me now!"

"That could be arranged" Xanade said dangerously, glancing at Vix. "You see her?"

                Tak nodded.

"Can you tell me what you think she is…?"

"Human, just like the other three… Filthy creatures really…"

                Gaz let out a menacing growl and started forward, Vix holding her back with one hand.

"Incorrect. That, my dear miss Tak, is an Aryan."

                Tak's olive-green skin paled considerably as she gave Vix a second glance. She gulped and Xanade grinned.

  "Do you know what else she is?"

                Tak shook her head.

"She is my friend, my guest… aaannnnd the Dib-creature's girlfriend. I'd watch myself if I was you…"

                Tak  nodded and Xanade put the much shorter Irken down.

"Now, and here I run the risk of sounding like a human cliché , take me to your leader."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Hecka!" Vim cried ecstatically as Xanade was led into the screened-off  area that served as Vim's private area.

"Vim!" cried the Princess, kneeling and hugging her friend and confidant. "You're in charge here? Why?"

"The enemy thinks I'm you Hecka! That hologram you created before you left has allowed me to try and negotiate Tallest Purple's release."

"Just…Pur…?" Xanade asked weakly, sagging into the floor from her kneeling position.

"You misunderstand Hecka! Tallest Red is here with us. Unfortunately he's not been in the most… sane mindset lately…"

"What?" Xanade asked sharply, fixing Vim with a look that usually made even Tallest Red quake. "What happened?"

"I-I don't know" Vim stuttered. "We managed to get him off the Massive during the siege, but ever since, he- hasn't been himself…"

"Where is he?" Vix was asking now, looking for all the world like she had a plan.

"Why? Who are you?"

"I apologize. My name is Vixia Rhane Helix."

"She's an Eathling. Well, and Aryan actually."

"How do you do? I am Vim Si-Lare. Please follow me, Tallest Red is this way."

                Vix and Xanade followed the shorter Irken female after relaying instructions to the rest. They wound thiugh a small maze of corridors and finally wound up in a small bedroom in which resided a harried and sincerely out-of–it Irken male. He didn't even look up when they came in, or as Vix put her hand on his temple and let it begin to glow. Within a few minutes, the dazed, confused look on Tallest Red's face was gone and was replaced by his usual trademark glare.

"Welcome back Big Red. Ready to go rescue Pur?"

"Who's she?" Red asked pointedly, looking at Vix.

"Backup. I doubt that the rebels have any Aryans on their side."

"An Aryan? Geez 'Nade, how do you pull this stuff off?"

"Practice Reddy, and a whole lotta luck. Now c'mon. We've got troops to rile up and a brother to rescue. You up for it?"

                Red gave her a condescending look.

"Let's go."