All's Fair in Love and War

By: Soleia Nova

                Hello and Welcome to the War. It's been a long time coming and I apologize for it taking so long. Chapters should be more and further together in the future because my PC has finally gotten here, so I can crank these babies out at high speeds. I won't keep you waiting any longer!

Bold: emphasis

Italics: Thoughts

//Irken language//

Chapter two: Equipped

"All ships loaded and ready for launch My Tallest! All Irkens are ready to depart and have taken their appointed stations aboard all ships.

"Xanade."

"Yes?"

"Tell ship Four to send over Tak. I want her where I can see her."

"Of course Dearest. Ship Four this is Hecka Xanade speaking. Please send Invader Tak to the Nebula. You will be provided with someone to take her place as head of navigation."

"Yes of course your Highness!"

"Thank you..." Xanade purred feraly, her eyes glinting with held-back laughter. She had forgotten just how funny they were when they were tripping all over themselves to serve her.

"having fun little sister?"

"Don't I always Kazel?" she said, turning to regard her brother. Her jaw dropped. "Geez Kazel... if you weren't my brother..."

"Shut up you...!"

Red-erm-Kazel, smirked and bopped her playfully on the head. His black-gloved hand dropped back to his side as he regarded the last-minute preparations going on outside the ship. His arms crossed across his thin, red-swathed chest as he spotted Tak making her way toward the ship. He shifted from side to side, baggy black pants obviously not much appreciated, booted feet constantly kicking at the main console. Xanade smiled fondly and rubbed her head, grinning at Vix when she came in.

"Irken females everywhere will thank you when they see what you've done to Kazel" she told the other girl, who grinned widely.

"So you like then?"

"Not only do I like, but from the look of things, so does the female staff" Xanade snorted, nodding toward the open doorway where a group of sheepish-looking Irkens were gathered, openly staring at their transformed Tallest.

                Kazel shot them a roguish grin and all swooned, two fainting.

"Let's hope they don't forget their place, eh Kazel? Or are you planning to turn your quarters into a brothel?"

"Now that you mention it..."

                Xanade tossed him a Look.

"Kidding! Just kidding!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

                Boots, check. Gloves, check. Underwear, shirt, pants, check.  Armor, check. Weapons, check, shields, check, spell memory...check.

"Set. How bout you Dib?"

"Yeah, I'm all ready to go" he replied, and Vix smiled at the undercurrent of worry in his voice.

"Don't worry about it darling. You know all you need to know, and if you need me, I'll be right there..."

"I know, I know...it's just...what if something happens to you? I don't-"

"Shh..." Vis hushed gently, putting a finger to his lips. "As long as you're alive, I will not leave your side. Whether Fate likes it or not..."

                Dib smiled and took her hand, kissing it gently before pulling her out of their room and toward the bridge.

"Just what I needed to hear..."

                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"All ships and personnel prepare for launch! Ships will be lifting off in thirty mirns*."

"You sure this is a good idea Xan?" Zim asked from his place beside her chair, a hand stroking one of her antennae.

"Yes. This way, they'll know there's a resistance adn they'll rush the ships here to pick up our hyper-space trail. Then: BOOM! Half their fleet is gone!"

"You're a real sucker for punishment, you know that?"

"So? You love it, you know. Besides, I'll teach them to go around kidnapping my family!"

                Zim smirked and placed a kiss on top of her head.

"That's my girl."

"Ew...! I did so not need to see that!" came Kazel's deep voice, and he barely avoided the double blow from Zim and Xanade. "So, are we all set?"

"Yep. Start the countdown Gaz!"

"Alright maggots, to your places! Liftoff in five...four...three...two...one...! All ships launch!"

                The purple-haired girl swiveled in her seat and put her hands into the holes in the next console.

"Disabling planetary web...now...!"

                On 'now', twin beams, strategically placed, shot from the ship and from two of the other ships, thaking out the only thing separating them from space.

"All ships into hyperdrive to coordinates alpha 32.7, beta 932.5, quadrant forty-seven. On my mark...now!"

                At  Gaz's sommand, all ships shifted into hyper drive, the resulting flash almost blinding in its brightness. Moments later, all ships had emerged in an asteroid field, landing in the crevaces of a particularly large one, one of the Irken race's most well-guarded secrets. On bord the Nebula the bridge's main screens showed the space around Irk, and, as predicted, the ships that appeared seemed to be using a greenish light to trace their path through space.

"Alright Gaz, now!" Xanade barked and Gaz nodded, hitting a button on a wrist cuff she had gotten on Irk. Immediately, strategically-placed bombs went off, demolishing nearly all of the ships by the sheer force of the explosions. The rest were decimated either by flying shrapnel and scrap from the other ships, or by the heat and fire that engulfed them as the bombs went into their second phase.

                Then, in the smoke and resulting wreckage, a message appeared in neon letters.

'Let that be a warning. I'm coming for my brother, and nothing's getting in my way. Xanade.'

                On board the ships, Irkens cheered and the universe trembled. The war had officially begun.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

                Purple groaned and opened his eyes, once again savagely awakened to face his tormentor, the leader of the rebels, the one who kept him captive... growling, he pulled back and spit at the creature's feet, drawing an amused, if not outright insane, chuckle.

"Your sister is smarter than we gave her credit for...Already, she has snuck past our defenses on Irk, rallied up a small army, and destroyed a very large portion of our fleet... Clever girl, tracing the transmission like she did. She got that from you I suppose?"

"Kazel's teching..." Pruple managed, a smirk growing on his face. It was quickly wiped off by the look on his captor's face. "You let her, didn't you...?"

"Clever boy...someone give him a cookie!"

"You sick bitch!"

"Now, now... you're in no position to be calling me names, now, are you Koran darling? Besides..." and here, she moved closer, putting her face level with his. "Is that any way to speak to your mother...?"

                With that, she stood abruptly, making the small yet gangly creature behind her scurry to hold up her ridiculously long train without tangling her in it. She turned and Koran growled at her again.

"Teach him some manners. Apparently, he's forgotten yesterday's lesson..."

                He watched her walk away, a growing hatred in the pit of his stomach. As the keeper of the dungeon approached him once again with the whip, Koran rushed the door only to be stopped by titanium bars that snapped up from the floor.

"I'll make sure you die Denire! Even if I have to do it myself, I'll make sure you never walk the universe again!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Your Highness, we have an incoming transmission from the Rebel leader. Should we patch it through?"

"Of course you should! Get it on the main view screen immediately and call Lady Vix to the Bridge!"

"Yes Your Highness!"

                Vix entered mere seconds later, looking unruffled and aloof, although Xanade could tell by the slight flush on her cheeks that her summons had interrupted something very important. She smirked then arranged her face into a careful mask of blank boredom and utter condescension, looking at the monitor as it flashed and a picture came on.

"… oh my …"

"What do you think you're doing mother?"

                Mwahahahahahahahahahaha…!!! A'll leave it here I think… Yes, here's good…Don't worry, I'm back in the swing of things, so the next chapter'll be up soon!