Frodo, who was under the table, quit faking unconciousness and slowly and carefully crawled (unless you count biting a few random knees) until he reached Leggy's seat. He had not long to wait before the poor, poor elf sat down once more. Frodo pulled the turkey drumstick out of his pocket and deftly shoved it into Leggy's left leg cast. The elf shrieked and jumped straight into the air, whacking both knees on the edge of the sturdy marble table.
"Here, what's going on?" said Gandalf getting up to investigate. He surveyed the elf's cast interestedly. "Curiouser and curiouser," he muttered. "You seem to be growing chicken legs!"
"Noo!" said Leggy. "I can't be a chicken! What will my mommy say?" He sobbed.
"Maybe we can eat him," said Sam who as of yet had not got to eat anything since Merry and Pippin wouldn't let any food near him but instead ate it all themselves.
"I have a surprise!" shouted Elrond. "It's a dancing troupe! It's called 'Happy Agent Smith and his Happy Nice Friends'!" He was greeted by blank stares. Even more blank stares appeared when all of a sudden, an agent in a sombrero appeared and bowed. He started singing very off key-ley and playing untalented-ly on a guitar.
"Andurson is a nice morning person
Andurson Andurson Andurson! OlŽ!!!"
This last word was screamed and as if a cup of soup had been spilled about twenty more agents filed in. The company stared. Most of them appeared to be exact duplicates of the first agent. One among the company did not fit in.
"Neo!" cried Pippin.
"Eon!" cried Neo. "Yipee!"
"Yahoo!"
"Hooray!"
"Neo!" shouted Gandalf. "Er, YOU! Who are you and what are you doing here?"
"Ganpher!" cried Neo. "You look old and fat!" He giggled. With a roar, Gandalf rushed him and started hitting him.
"Hey!" shouted Pippin. "Don't hurt my best friend!" And he jumped on Gandalf and started pummeling him.
"Wait for me, Pipsie!" cried Merry. "Ring!"
"RING?" said Frodo.
"Yes, Fro, Gandalf has a ring," said Merry. Frodo's eyes narrowed so that they were about the size of normal eyes and he screamed like a nazgžl and leaped into the fray.
Haldir formed a plan in his head and suddenly grabbed Aragorn and shoved him into the mass of pummeling men. Arwen screeched.
"I'LL SAVE YOU, PUNKIN'!!" And she grabbed Haldir and they disappeared. Leggy tried to run, but a slab of the floor tilted and he fell into the mass. Soon everyone except Sam were in a gigantic fight. After finally eating his fill, Sam stood up on the table.
"I have an ANNOUNCEMENT!" he shouted. Everyone stopped and looked at him.
"I have had enough of you! I like half of you half as well as a troll, and the rest of you half as not!"
There were sounds of scalps being scratched.
"I am leaving NOW. Goodbye and good riddance!" And with that, he pulled the tablecloth from under the dishes without spilling them, and threw it over his head.
"Uh, Samsie?" said Merry.
"I'm not here. I can't hear you," came Sam's muffled voice.
"I can see you," said Pippin.
"No you can't! I can't see you!" his voice was more insistent now.
"But you're standing on the table in full view," said Aragorn.
"I'm not listening, hmm hmm la la owner of a lonely heart..."
"DO YOU WANT ME TO SAVE YOU, LI'L PUDDIN' CUP?" screeched Arwen.
"Sam, cut the nonsense and come out of there!" said Gandalf.
"Why?" said Frodo.
"Oh, ring!" said Merry. Frodo gave him a venomous look and hopped over and ripped the tablecloth off of Sam. To his horror, Haldir saw that he was chewing on his bow.
"EEE! NOOO!!" he screamed.
"I'LL SAVE YOU!" said Arwen.
"Yummy," said Sam.
"Can I try a bite?" said Pippin.
"Lerbolars's is yummier," said Neo.
"ARGH!" said Leggy.