After chasing Sam around the room several times, only succeeding in making him climb up the curtains to a shelf high above the floor where previously there were several small but valuable glass things, Haldir despaired of ever getting his bow back.
"This bow sure is yummy!" said Sam.
"Give it back!" wailed Haldir.
"COME BACK DOWN, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS LI'L PUDDIN' CUP!" screeched Arwen.
Pippin and Neo were playing patty-cake in a corner.
"Patty-cake, patty-cake bakers man, bake me a cake as fast as you can, roll it, pat it, mark it with an N, put it in the oven for Neo and me!" cried Pippin.
"Mistur Andurson!" cried Agent Smith. "Put it on my tab!" In slo-mo, he drew his gun and would have shot him, but Neo moved quicker than lightning and threw a fork at him.
"Why did you throw a fork at me?" wailed Smith bursting into tears.
"Because there were no spoons, of course!" said Neo. "There ah no spewns," he said in a mocky accent. "There ah no spewns becose ah et them." All of a sudden, he rushed at Frodo and tried to pick him up by the hair to throw him, but the hair came off in his hand. Everyone gasped.
"The spoon boy!" said Gandalf.
"Try to realize the truth," whimpered Frodo. "It is not my head that appears bald, it is only your mind."
"What?" said everyone.
"There is no hair," said Fro. Leggy shrieked and covered his head and tried to run, but his hair caught on a plant hanger and his wig disintegrated. (This of course is one of the worst things that can happen to certain blonde elves. *evil grin*) Immediately everyone clutched their head and cried as one "It's a lie! I'm not bald! This is not an incredibly realistic wig! Nope, no wig here!" Agents Smith, Jones and Brown tied their sunglasses around their heads. Smith's clones immediately disintegrated in a messy explosion of green jell-o. Leggy shrieked.
"I'm melllllting!" he cried. "Noo, what a world what a world!" And with that, he melted into a pile of steaming goo on the floor. *sigh*
Figwit felt the eyes of the Authoress sweeping the room, seeking whom she might defame, and leaped out the window into the pond. Followed by every other pretty-boy elf. Everyone looked out the window at the pond which now circled Rivendell, filled with serpents and giant octopuses, and many other vile sea creatures. Everyone screamed and ran about until they fell out of various windows. And Merry and Pippin got closer to surfing than they ever had in this story. To bad it had to be the last time they ever came close to surfing. See, they developed such a fear of the water that they alway lived inland from then on. Of course they married Estella and Diamond, respectively, and led respectively happy lives. As happy as you can get without surfing, anyhoo.
Aragorn and Arwen married and were miserable. Partly because Haldir wouldn't let Aragorn alone, Arwen never ceased screaming, and Elrond wouldn't let a day go by but he was saying "I told you so!" What he had told them was never made clear.
Sam finally got to mug Frodo and lived very happily in Bag End which he also stole from him. He "employed" Fro as his gardener aka slave as Fro had done to him and lived very happily to the end of his days as no doubt Frodo would have done had not Sam taken action against that very fate.
"I've saved you a lot of trouble, Fro, why just think of all that money you would have had to take care of!" he would often say.
"Yes, Mr. Sam, no doubt," was the response.
Legolas never rose from the pile of goo on the floor of Rivendell. (Yipee!)
Elrond and Agent Smith struck up a friendship (no doubt due to the fact that they were twin brothers) and went around impersonating each other. Of course causing Elrond some minor scrapes and bruises seeing as Smith was somewhat *cough* active in the illegal pipe-weed market.
Neo went back to the Matrix and, sadly, went on to defeat it. How I'll let you watch in "Reloaded" and "Revolutions". (Which are only a couple months away!) Afterwards, he met back up with Pippin and taught him a new kind of surfing---web surfing.
Gandalf/Cypher died, either way you look at it.
Galadriel pretended to go over the sea, but in reality immersed herself in her Trinity self.
All the pretty elf boys and their fangirls were eaten by octopi and such. (Double yipee!)
Jones and Brown got Lindir to act as head Agent (Agent Lulu) in Smith's stead and went on to produce several hit albums. One song, "Put it on my Tab" by name, went platinum.
And, I think that's the end. Sorry all you fan type persons. Watch for more of my stories, and look to "Dumb personified via Frodo Baggins" for your randomness needs. :)
For all you who still don't know, here's a quick definition of a few terms:
Plotbunnies: Ideas for plots randomly popping up in an author's head.
Plothole: An event often occuring in random stories that defies logical explanations, i.e., Leggy dropping through a hole into a bowl of soup.
Plot twist: Something taking an unexpected turn, i.e., Frodo suddenly kicking Sam's shins for no good reason.
Plot mites: They chew ceilings and walls, either weakening them severely so that they will fall at most oppurtune times or making them fall unexplainably onto certain blonde elves *cough cough*.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you make my week. Literally.
Vlad, this would not have been continued but for you demanding more.
Mallyriel, I was confused, but I think the humors in my brain have dissipated somewhat.
Oracle2001, thank you so much.
Lisa Akita, calm down! I hope your Dad enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Haldir's Girl, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Orlyluvr, shmowdy wowdy cloudy!
Laurna-Patricia, it's all in the sake of randomness.
Camelia, he's there.
V. v. v. important ANGERY (?) Leggy fan, I don't think I'm in a position to take orders from you. Besides, LeggyBashing is fun! You should try it sometime!
Elf, I hope it was long enough and funny enough.
PsychoDude, they hit their heads. They drank too much in "The Nose Knows".
Dark Samurai Vegata, see my above definitions.
Lazy Hobbit, I mean Little Hobbit, I think it's wierd too. ;)
Mr. Orc is Tweak, my fearsome little brat of a co-Authoring brother!! Run! Don't believe him! He hates this story's guts, help help!
Thank you all, thank you all.
"This bow sure is yummy!" said Sam.
"Give it back!" wailed Haldir.
"COME BACK DOWN, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS LI'L PUDDIN' CUP!" screeched Arwen.
Pippin and Neo were playing patty-cake in a corner.
"Patty-cake, patty-cake bakers man, bake me a cake as fast as you can, roll it, pat it, mark it with an N, put it in the oven for Neo and me!" cried Pippin.
"Mistur Andurson!" cried Agent Smith. "Put it on my tab!" In slo-mo, he drew his gun and would have shot him, but Neo moved quicker than lightning and threw a fork at him.
"Why did you throw a fork at me?" wailed Smith bursting into tears.
"Because there were no spoons, of course!" said Neo. "There ah no spewns," he said in a mocky accent. "There ah no spewns becose ah et them." All of a sudden, he rushed at Frodo and tried to pick him up by the hair to throw him, but the hair came off in his hand. Everyone gasped.
"The spoon boy!" said Gandalf.
"Try to realize the truth," whimpered Frodo. "It is not my head that appears bald, it is only your mind."
"What?" said everyone.
"There is no hair," said Fro. Leggy shrieked and covered his head and tried to run, but his hair caught on a plant hanger and his wig disintegrated. (This of course is one of the worst things that can happen to certain blonde elves. *evil grin*) Immediately everyone clutched their head and cried as one "It's a lie! I'm not bald! This is not an incredibly realistic wig! Nope, no wig here!" Agents Smith, Jones and Brown tied their sunglasses around their heads. Smith's clones immediately disintegrated in a messy explosion of green jell-o. Leggy shrieked.
"I'm melllllting!" he cried. "Noo, what a world what a world!" And with that, he melted into a pile of steaming goo on the floor. *sigh*
Figwit felt the eyes of the Authoress sweeping the room, seeking whom she might defame, and leaped out the window into the pond. Followed by every other pretty-boy elf. Everyone looked out the window at the pond which now circled Rivendell, filled with serpents and giant octopuses, and many other vile sea creatures. Everyone screamed and ran about until they fell out of various windows. And Merry and Pippin got closer to surfing than they ever had in this story. To bad it had to be the last time they ever came close to surfing. See, they developed such a fear of the water that they alway lived inland from then on. Of course they married Estella and Diamond, respectively, and led respectively happy lives. As happy as you can get without surfing, anyhoo.
Aragorn and Arwen married and were miserable. Partly because Haldir wouldn't let Aragorn alone, Arwen never ceased screaming, and Elrond wouldn't let a day go by but he was saying "I told you so!" What he had told them was never made clear.
Sam finally got to mug Frodo and lived very happily in Bag End which he also stole from him. He "employed" Fro as his gardener aka slave as Fro had done to him and lived very happily to the end of his days as no doubt Frodo would have done had not Sam taken action against that very fate.
"I've saved you a lot of trouble, Fro, why just think of all that money you would have had to take care of!" he would often say.
"Yes, Mr. Sam, no doubt," was the response.
Legolas never rose from the pile of goo on the floor of Rivendell. (Yipee!)
Elrond and Agent Smith struck up a friendship (no doubt due to the fact that they were twin brothers) and went around impersonating each other. Of course causing Elrond some minor scrapes and bruises seeing as Smith was somewhat *cough* active in the illegal pipe-weed market.
Neo went back to the Matrix and, sadly, went on to defeat it. How I'll let you watch in "Reloaded" and "Revolutions". (Which are only a couple months away!) Afterwards, he met back up with Pippin and taught him a new kind of surfing---web surfing.
Gandalf/Cypher died, either way you look at it.
Galadriel pretended to go over the sea, but in reality immersed herself in her Trinity self.
All the pretty elf boys and their fangirls were eaten by octopi and such. (Double yipee!)
Jones and Brown got Lindir to act as head Agent (Agent Lulu) in Smith's stead and went on to produce several hit albums. One song, "Put it on my Tab" by name, went platinum.
And, I think that's the end. Sorry all you fan type persons. Watch for more of my stories, and look to "Dumb personified via Frodo Baggins" for your randomness needs. :)
For all you who still don't know, here's a quick definition of a few terms:
Plotbunnies: Ideas for plots randomly popping up in an author's head.
Plothole: An event often occuring in random stories that defies logical explanations, i.e., Leggy dropping through a hole into a bowl of soup.
Plot twist: Something taking an unexpected turn, i.e., Frodo suddenly kicking Sam's shins for no good reason.
Plot mites: They chew ceilings and walls, either weakening them severely so that they will fall at most oppurtune times or making them fall unexplainably onto certain blonde elves *cough cough*.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you make my week. Literally.
Vlad, this would not have been continued but for you demanding more.
Mallyriel, I was confused, but I think the humors in my brain have dissipated somewhat.
Oracle2001, thank you so much.
Lisa Akita, calm down! I hope your Dad enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Haldir's Girl, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Orlyluvr, shmowdy wowdy cloudy!
Laurna-Patricia, it's all in the sake of randomness.
Camelia, he's there.
V. v. v. important ANGERY (?) Leggy fan, I don't think I'm in a position to take orders from you. Besides, LeggyBashing is fun! You should try it sometime!
Elf, I hope it was long enough and funny enough.
PsychoDude, they hit their heads. They drank too much in "The Nose Knows".
Dark Samurai Vegata, see my above definitions.
Lazy Hobbit, I mean Little Hobbit, I think it's wierd too. ;)
Mr. Orc is Tweak, my fearsome little brat of a co-Authoring brother!! Run! Don't believe him! He hates this story's guts, help help!
Thank you all, thank you all.