Disclaimer: I own nothing.
To Yavanna, Mitsukai, Telepasea Eldaelen, Amaya Nyte Rayne, thank you so much for the reviews!!! Mitsukai, your review cracked me up. I'm glad that all of you like Chp. 4.
To Queenie, thanks for spotting the typo. I went back and changed it. Also, I had to put reading the books on hold because of studying for the GRE and reading Atlas Shrugged, a 1000 page book that I'm reading for a scholarship thing. Ugh, I would rather be reading Lord of the Rings, but I will do that soon.
Chapter Five
"ARGGGGHHHHH!" Colleen picked up a rock and threw it, watching it as it sailed through the air and out onto the hill. It didn't relieve her frustration and she turned and walked towards where Gandalf was sitting on a low stonewall. She threw herself down next to him and sighed. "I can't do it."
A small smile appeared on Gandalf's face as he watched his fully-grown student pout as well as any Hobbit child. "Nonsense. You have the capability and the strength. You just have to figure out how to make application of such things," he told her firmly. He stood up and walked to the hill. "Now watch once more and try to note each step." He looked for her agreement and she nodded, reluctantly.
Gandalf searched inside himself to where the center of his power resided and reached for a supply, shaping it in his mind to use for his intended purpose. His staff began to glow slightly as the magic coursed through it, seeping out into the atmosphere. He invoked the power held within the words Gwele* and Nen*, softly but firm in tone and strength. Colleen watched as the wind began to pick up, a breeze appearing where none had existed a moment before. She jumped as she heard a crack of lightening and then felt a gentle fall of rain upon her skin. Though he had completed the same task a handful of times throughout the day, it still amazed her, this obvious control and manipulation of the weather. She looked to her mentor, her face lit with the joy of magic.
Gandalf smiled as raindrops fell from the brim of his mighty hat and then after letting the deed set in for a few moments, proceeded to calm down the wind and clear the sky. He rested his staff once again on the ground, and threw a tilted smile at the young woman sitting in front of him. "There, you see it can be done."
Colleen frowned. "I never said it couldn't be done, Gandalf. I said, that I couldn't do it." She saw him glare at her with disapproval and sighed. "Alright, alright. I know. I can do it."
Gandalf and her switched places as he sat down and she stood before him, taking a deep breath and trying to focus on the lesson he had set her to learn. She reached inside herself, looking for her power center as Gandalf had taught her.
They had quickly learned that she did not need a staff such as his to control the power. That fact had puzzled Gandalf for many days, causing him to immerse himself in the library with ancient texts, all the time muttering beneath his breath. Colleen herself had not given it a great deal of thought, for she had barely been able to grasp the idea of using such magic, let alone be concerned with obscure details and facts.
Feeling the energy begin to flow through her and out of her, she started manipulating the power to the task she wanted completed. She stated her words as she thought of how the air needed to move, particles jostling into each other to create wind and softly she felt a breeze touch her cheek. A grin broke upon her face as she looked at Gandalf excitedly for approval but she lost her focus and the wind stopped.
Gandalf shook his head. "Good beginning, but remember you need to feed the elements, create the event you want to occur. Do not lose focus." He made a gesture for her to try again.
She once again reached for power and applied it to making the sky cry and the air move. But as the minutes passed and the day grew dimmer, she had only been able to make a mildly strong wind. And she was exhausted.
Gandalf stood and reached for his staff that lay against the wall, next to him. "That is enough for today, Colleen." He walked over to her and placed his hand upon her shoulder. He saw the unhappy look on her face, a look of failure. "Do not worry. You did well today. You cannot run before you can walk."
She avoided his gaze, shamed at not succeeding but Gandalf persisted. He forced her to meet his stare and her spirit was soothed a bit as she saw the obvious approval in his eyes.
"Thank you, Gandalf."
He shook off her words of thanks as they started walking towards the city. "Do not thank me. You are a wonderful student, Colleen. But things need to be learned, need to be developed before being able to complete the grand displays. You will reach that stage eventually."
She nodded her understanding, thinking about how far she had come already. Since that fateful day that she had destroyed Gandalf's favorite pipe, he had met with her every day, teaching her the ways of magic and of power. It had been a year since that time and she had made progress, amazed at her own ability to do things she had never thought possible. She smiled as she thought. 'At least I will never have to worry about not being able to start a fire if I'm stranded in the woods again.'
Her thoughts were interrupted as Gandalf spoke.
"I will be leaving on the morrow."
Colleen stopped walking, her face showing her shock. "Leaving? For where?"
Gandalf looked at her. "My good friend Bilbo Baggins' birthday is approaching and I promised him and his nephew Frodo I would attend the celebration." He started walking again. "I will be late as it is."
Colleen hurried to catch up to him. "Bilbo Baggins?" Her mind thought about that particular hobbit. Somewhere a vague memory of a birthday celebration floated in her mind and with it an accompanying sense of dread. She tried to reach for any specifics but they were not coming to her as she strode with Gandalf towards Caras Galadhon. She pushed it to the back of her mind as she thought of more pressing matters. "Will you be back? What about my lessons?" Colleen was not anxious to lose one of the few people she felt comfortable with, especially not her mentor.
Gandalf thought carefully before answering. "You have had a very good start, Colleen. I think that you can continue on your own for a while, practicing the things I have taught you and trying to expand on them." He climbed a few steps before turning left, down the path that led towards the dining hall. "I know that we will see each other again." He looked back at his student and friend whose face showed her sadness.
She felt his gaze and quickly forced a smile on her face. "Of course, Gandalf. I do not mean to take up all your time. You have been in Lorien for quite a while, just on the matter of assisting me. I have no right to demand anything of you." She looked at him sharply. "You do know that I appreciate everything that you have done for me? That I consider you one of the best people I know and that I will always be in debt to the wisdom and patience that you have shown me."
Gandalf chuckled at the earnest look on her face and her flattery. Colleen was always worried that she was burdening others with her innocence of all things Middle Earth. "You have always been very vocal of your appreciation, Colleen. Keep in mind that I enjoyed your lessons just as much as you did. Some of your attempts at magic have kept me amused for longer than I can remember."
She scrunched up her face in annoyance as she remembered the more disastrous results of her efforts. "I do not think we need to discuss the things that are in the past, Gandalf." She heard him start laughing at her obvious wish not to relive those embarrassing moments as she hurried down the path. "Besides, it is time for the evening meal. We should hurry."
Gandalf's eyes sparkled with amusement as he followed her. "Of course, dinner."
The next day was clear and bright, the weather wonderful for travel and Gandalf was in good spirits as he hitched his pony to the wagon. He was set to leave any moment for the trip to the Shire for Bilbo's birthday celebration and he still had not seen his young student that day. He was not worried; he knew that she would show before he had to leave. In the mean while, he turned to say his farewell to Lady Galadriel and her husband Lord Celeborn.
Galadriel's beauty was only enhanced as she smiled and reached her hands for Gandalf's grasp. "We are sad to see you leave, Gandalf. We have enjoyed your presence, these many months pass." She looked back towards her husband who nodded his agreement.
"Yes, Mithrandir, you have been a welcome addition to Lorien." Lord Celeborn moved to stand beside his beloved. "We know that Colleen shall miss your presence dearly."
Gandalf smiled. "I have enjoyed my stay in this wondrous place very much, but it will be good to be on the road again, traveling the wonderful land that is Middle Earth." He made to speak again but his words were interrupted by another voice.
"Gandalf! Wait, I am coming." The group turned to see Colleen hurrying down the path, her auburn hair glinting in the sun. She carried in one hand a brightly wrapped package, her other arm reached out for balance as she ran down the hill. She came to a breathless stop a few feet from Gandalf. She smiled at Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel who were obviously amused at her actions.
"I am sorry. I hope that I have not held up your departure. I did not want to miss saying goodbye, but I was delayed." She handed the package into Gandalf's hands. "I forgot to wrap this last night. It is something to remember me by."
Gandalf turned the package over in his hands, untying the string that wrapped around it. Removing the blue colored paper, he revealed a finely carved wooden pipe.
"It is to replace the one I destroyed," Colleen explained. "I know how much you enjoy a good tote on your pipe."
Gandalf looked up at his young charge. "This is a delightful present indeed, Colleen." He moved to place it carefully into one of his sacs that lay in the cart. He turned back toward his audience. "Well, I best be off." Grabbing hold of the side of the cart, he hefted himself into the seat. He reached for the reigns and with a wave, set off upon the path that led out of Lorien.
Colleen watched the figure of Gandalf the Grey grow smaller until she could no longer see the cart or hear the hooves of the pony. She felt a hand rest upon her shoulder and she turned to see Lord Celeborn smiling down at her.
"Do not be saddened, Colleen. You will certainly see your teacher again."
She nodded but her eyes turned back towards the path that Gandalf had disappeared down.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hands slowly slid their way up her legs, fingertips skimming over her skin and causing her shiver. She turned her head to the side, to give more access to the lips that were kissing a path down her neck. Her own fingers were tracing the edge of his shoulder blades, feeling the muscles tense under them as she lightly scratched. His lips found a sensitive spot in the hollow between her neck and shoulder and she gasped as he lightly licked there. She heard him chuckle softly, his shoulders shake a little with the laughter.
"You like that?" he whispered as he did it again.
She bit back a moan at the repeated action and instead grinned in the dark, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. "No, I was trying to stifle a yawn of boredom. I really should find a man who is skillful in bed."
Immediately his hands stopped their movement as he stilled. "Really?" he asked, a dangerous tone in the voice she knew so well. His hands moved to her ribs and rested there. "You should find someone who knows what they are doing?" he asked as he started tickling her sides and Colleen squirmed, laughing as her sensitive sides were assaulted.
"Stop!" she shrieked, a big grin upon her face as she stared into the eyes of the man she loved. "Stop," she said again, a whisper this time.
His lips met hers in a soft kiss, their mouths moving in union as he stopped tickling her and instead wrapped his fingers in her red hair.
"I love you," she whispered against his mouth, a bit breathlessly as she tried to bring herself back from the pleasure of his kiss, the complete happiness of being in the only place she wanted to be.
"Forever," he whispered in return.
"Forever."
Colleen woke from the dream with a gasp, her body drenched in sweat, the sheets sticking to her skin as she tried to escape from the images that lingered. She reached to the other side of the bed; half expecting to find him there to comfort her but the bed was empty except for her. Immediately she felt sadness come crashing over her, as she once again reminded herself that the unknown man lived only in her dreams, not in her real life.
She sighed and sat up, pushing the covers back as she moved out of the bed. She crossed to the window and lifted the covering, staring up at the bright moon that covered Caras Galadhon in silvery light.
'Why will these dreams not stop? I have no want to dream of something that will never be, that is just an inner wish for love.' she thought to herself. For she knew that is all that they were, images resulting from her need to feel love, to have a family, to have someone care about her. Her degree in psychology told her that much, though that world seemed so long ago.
She smiled slightly as she thought of the very different life she had led before, the life that consisted solely of school, of earning her degree. She had made sure that was all her life was about. There had been no room for more, especially not things such as magic.
She turned to return to bed and after straightening the covers and adjusting her pillow, she laid down, determined to have no more dreams that night, to just sleep. And so she did.
The next day, Haldir found Colleen curled up in the corner of the dining hall, a book in her hand and her mind obviously focused on what she was reading. He sat down across from her.
"Colleen." She did not move. He tried again. "Colleen."
At the second mention of her name, she looked up, her eyes blinking as she realized that someone was talking to her. "What?" Her eyes focused on the elf that sat across from her and she smiled. "Haldir."
He smiled at his friend, noticing that once again she seemed tired, faint circles underneath her eyes. He had asked her once if her nights were not restful, for he knew that humans needed sleep, needed that time for their bodies to restore it's energy. But she had avoided the question, just muttering something about insomnia. He decided not to ask, certain that she would not be any more forthcoming and instead looked at her book. "What has your mind so enchanted?"
She glanced down towards the book she had been reading. "Oh, I was trying to find my way through the many facets of the Second Age." She marked her page in the book with a dried flower and set it down. "But I fear that the knowledge is getting the best of me. My head is swimming with so many facts and details." She looked at the amused look upon Haldir's face. "History was never my best subject and I do not have the advantage of being old enough to have lived through most it, like some other people that I have the pleasure of knowing." She shot him a pointed glance and he laughed.
"Yes, well. Perhaps you can set aside the book of history for the moment."
"Why?"
"I have decided that is it time for you to learn how to defend yourself," he told her. Her eyebrows rose.
"Defend myself? From what do I need to defend myself?"
Haldir looked thoughtful. "I want to be confident that you will be able to handle yourself. Middle Earth can be dark and dangerous. I do not know what your future holds for you."
She still looked skeptical but he persisted. "Also, you live among the elves. For you not to know how to use a bow, is very shameful indeed," he stated, half seriously. She studied the determination on his face and nodded.
"Sounds enjoyable."
At her agreement, Haldir stood and led the way towards the archery range. There he slowly started explaining the finer points of archery.
That night, Colleen's shoulders and arms ached and burned like someone had poured molten lava from Mount Doom upon them. But her first lesson was over and Haldir, in between his laughter, had assured her that she would improve, that she could only improve, for there is no direction but up if one has reached the bottom. She had stopped his laughter when her foot had connected with his stomach in a jumping back kick. After that, she had stormed off the range, satisfied that she knew one form of defense at least, as Haldir lay sprawled on the grass, gasping for breath.
Now she sat on the stairs that led down to the clearing that held Galadriel's mirror, thinking about Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins as she tried to rub her own shoulder, the muscles screaming. She reached once again for the vague memories of the movie, searching for anything that was clear, but having seen it only once, well one and half times, she knew that her sense of things to come was not the best. But she knew that change was coming, could feel it and she was scared.
She looked up and saw that Galadriel was watching her, her face serene. "I sense your confusion, your anxiety, Hên*." She sat down next to Colleen and looked at her young charge's face. "You have not been sleeping?" she asked, knowing it was true, seeing Colleen's weariness.
Colleen sighed and laid her head upon Galadriel's lap as the Lady started to stroke her hair. "The dreams have come again." She felt Galadriel's hand pause for a moment before she resumed her action.
"Of wars and events that have long past, or of the man?" she asked softly.
"Mostly of the man." Colleen closed her eyes as she recalled her many sleepless nights. "I do not want such dreams. They are not real yet I wake yearning for his touch, for his comfort."
Galadriel heard the frustration in the girl's voice, heard the fear that kept Colleen from allowing herself the need for love, the need for family. "How do you know that such dreams are not real?" she asked softly.
"Because I know no such man, either in my past or in my present," Colleen replied.
Galadriel smiled. "But what about your future?" She felt Colleen stiffen at the idea that her dreams were telling her of events to come, of her destiny.
"If they are of my future, I do not want them even more." Colleen sat up and looked up at Galadriel. "I do not want to be pre-destined with someone, I do not want matters of my heart to become steered by someone else's hand. I want free will, the choice to choose my own destiny and my own love, if I should meet one."
Galadriel reached to push a stray strand of hair behind Colleen's ear. "Do not worry about what has not yet happened." She looked into Colleen's eyes. "But these dreams are not all that worries you. You sense the darkness coming."
Colleen nodded, not surprised that Galadriel had sense it also. "I worry about Gandalf." She looked out into the woods as if staring past Lorien and into the Shire. "I remember Bilbo Baggin's birthday which means it is starting. The future is becoming the present." She looked back at Galadriel to see her reaction.
Galadriel's eyes were thoughtful. "Which means soon your adventure shall start, for you know that your destiny is tied to the Ring."
Colleen told herself that she should no longer be amazed at the Lady's insight, at her ability to name her inner fears and dreams but she still was. "Deep inside, I hear a voice telling me that my purpose, my questions about why I am here will be revealed with the coming of the Ring. And I am scared."
Galadriel said nothing for a moment but then she looked at the sky. "It is late and you are weary. Go rest, tonight your dreams will be still," she promised.
Colleen nodded and stood. "Good night, Lady." She climbed the steps and left Galadriel sitting, watching the moon.
* Gwele (Air)
* Nen (Water)
* Hên (Child)