Warnings: Still kinda weird, kinda angsty, and some violence in this part, but there are explanations. Also, add Subaru+Kamui to the list of pairings, because it's figuring in way more than I thought it would.
Credits: All dialogue directly from the manga is from the translations on Rabi's page. Two conversations -- the one between Subaru and Kamui about "the new student" and the beginning of Fuuma and Kamui's conversation -- were written by Flamebyrd.
Part One
//All of life goes by so fast that every day drags into an eternity. Weeks last days, months last years. Time is relative, depending entirely on one's state of mind. Misery makes a day last a year, but years can past in a blur while you are wrapped in a coccoon of pain and fear.
For him, nine years passed while he was wrapped in a safe shell of suffering. Then the last year of his life passed in a flash, everything unravelling at a manic pace until it all crashed around his feet in a haze of blood and rain and darkness.
He does not remember how he died.
He does not remember who he was.
He remembers, however, a bridge. A bridge with water far below it, and a figure standing before him. He remembers the figure being tall, with a dark trenchcoat and a wonderful smile that meant nothing. He remembers mismatched eyes and blood on his hands, the shock of a few whispered words that would echo in his ears forever.
He cannot remember what those words were.
Then he wakes up.
And remembers nothing.//
Subaru slowly opened his eyes.
His alarm clock was beeping away cheerfully on his bedside table. He stared at it blankly, then cursed it quietly, sitting up. It always woke him up just as he thought he might remember what had happened.
He got out of bed as if in a daze, dressed and walked out into the kitchen. Hokuto put his breakfast in front of him and didn't comment on his somewhat dishevelled state.
//she was standing in front of a sakura tree in full bloom, wearing the ceremonial shikifuku that looked familiar somehow. there was a man there, with the same wonderful smile as the one on the bridge and the same mismatching eyes//
"I said," Hokuto repeated patiently, "are you going to be late today?"
"Uh," Subaru replied. "Yeah. Probably."
The bell rang and Subaru went to let Kamui in. "Hey, you're actually ready on time today," Kamui said.
"Yeah," Subaru said. He really wasn't feeling very talkative. He put his shoes on and accepted his lunch from Hokuto wordlessly, then left for school.
They settled in the classroom; Subaru gave Sakurazuka-senpai a surreptitious glance. For once, Kamui didn't comment on it.
"The teacher's here," someone near the door call, and everyone quickly got to their seat as the teacher walked in.
He was tall and very thin, with a cheerful smile but somehow hollow eyes. He wore a carefully pressed suit, and his limp blonde-brown hair was falling in his eyes. "Ohayo goziamasu," he said, and his voice was as cheerful as his smile. "I'll be your teacher this semester. My name is Segawa Keichii."
Kamui's jaw sagged.
Keichii looked down the role, then scanned the seats. His eyes rested on Kamui and he blinked, twice, then moved on. "Everyone's here," he said.
He began a lecture on what he expected from the class and the material they'd be going over. Kamui watched him carefully, trying not to look as if he were staring. Keichii looked different from how he remembered, and not just because he was sixteen years older. He looked tired, thin, worn around the edges.
//"Shirou-kun . . ."
"Nani?"
"You're not coming back, are you?"//
Kamui looked down at his desk, avoiding the teacher's eyes. He glanced up and saw, much to his surprise, that Fuuma was watching him from across the class.
'Are you okay?' the new student mouthed.
Kamui flinched away, thinking, I wasn't being that obvious, was I? He gave Fuuma a quick nod and looked away again.
"All right, everyone please pick a partner for this next assignment," Keichii said.
Subaru grabbed Kamui by the wrist. "Hey, what's with you? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Kamui lied.
The two of them got some paper and started working. "Ne, what do you think of the new exchange student?" Subaru asked curiously.
"Monou-san?" Kamui asked. "He seems sort of . . ." His voice trailed off, unable to come up with the words to express his thoughts.
"Hm?" Subaru prompted.
//I was born to become the Accompanying Star. The other "Kamui" that will fill the empty seat when "Kamui" chooses one Dragon from either Heaven or Earth. You chose to be a Dragon of Heaven. I will become a Dragon of Earth, and kill the Seven Seals -- the Dragons of Heaven.//
Scary, Kamui's mind supplied for him. He shook the thought off and came up with ". . . distant." A rather poor substitute, really.
Subaru gave him a strange look. "Well, he doesn't really talk much, but he's new. I'm sure he'll adjust and fit right in."
"Hey, look who he ended up partners with," Kamui commented.
Subaru glanced over and found himself staring directly into Sakurazuka-senpai's warm brown eyes. "Ngkh!" He looked away quickly, turning bright red. "That wasn't fair," he said.
"I know," Kamui said with a little grin.
Subaru glanced over again. "I think it's strange."
"That they're partners? I guess it is nice of Sakurazuka-senpai to do that when he has plenty of friends in the class."
"Though you never really see him with anyone else," Subaru said thoughtfully.
"And you'd know," Kamui said, earning a blush. "You're right; he is sort of a loner."
"Also, it's weird to see the two most gorgeous guys in class working together," Subaru said.
"Don't sell us short," Kamui said with a smile. "I think the two of us make a cuter couple."
Subaru snickered. "No way. Sakurazuka-senpai is way better looking than me."
"But I'm cuter than Monou-san, right?" Kamui batted long eyelashes at his best friend. "Right?"
Subaru burst into laughter, muffling it helplessly in his sleeve. "Come on," he finally said. "We're never going to get any work done at this rate."
"Okay," Kamui said with a nod. He only glanced over at the others one more time, and was amused to notice that Sakurazuka-senpai was still staring at Subaru.
*****
The day passed quickly, all things considered. Kamui was frustrated beyond belief, because Subaru and Sakurazuka-senpai kept looking over at each other, but they never actually caught each other's eyes. He was ready to strangle them both by the time class was over.
"Have a good day," Keichii said. "Oh, Shirou, can you stay after a minute?"
"Uh, hai," Kamui answered, trying not to flinch away.
Subaru looked at him questioningly.
Kamui hated lying to Subaru, and he did it fairly often. There were certain things he knew -- certain things he remembered -- that he felt he couldn't tell Subaru. For one thing, Subaru asked 'why do you think I'm so obsessed with Sakurazuka-senpai' at least once a week. And Kamui, who knew damn well why Subaru was obsessed with him, could never answer. "Segawa-sensei is a friend of the family," he lied smoothly. "I'm sure he just wants to inquire after my mother."
"Oh." Subaru accepted this explanation. "Well, I'm gonna go." His eyes followed Sakurazuka-senpai out of the room. "Will I see you later?"
"Sure, I'll drop by archery practice and walk home with you," Kamui said.
"Mata ne," Subaru said, leaving.
Kamui waited until everyone had left, then went up to the front of the room. "Y-You wanted to see me?" he asked, and cursed his voice for trembling.
//When I got back, our home was already burning... I didn't make it in time. Just like the time my father passed away, There was nothing I could do.//
"Yes," Keichii said, looking up from his papers. "I hope it's no trouble."
//At the funeral, I cried and cried, I thought my eyes were going to melt.//
"No, it isn't," Kamui said.
Keichii looked up at him, his eyes softening a little. "When I was your age," he said, "I had a friend named Shirou Kamui. And when I saw your name on the roster, I thought it was just an odd coincidence. But when I saw you . . . you look just like him. And maybe that's coincidence, too. But . . . both together . . . I can't accept that. I don't understand. I recognize your friend, too, but he was older than me. You should be my age. I . . . I don't understand. I'm sorry to be so forward like this, but . . ."
Kamui silenced him with a quick shake of his head. "No. It's . . . I'm glad you asked. I am the person you remember."
//"Shirou-kun, why did my parents have to die?"//
Keichii stared at him for a long minute, then asked, "But how is that possible? You . . . you should be my age."
//"Shirou-kun . . . are you going to die too?"//
"I know." Kamui looked at the floor.
//"Shirou-kun . . . ore wa . . . omae wa . . ."//
"Then . . ." Keichii looked like he was on the edge of tears.
//"Shirou-kun . . ."//
"I died," Kamui said softly.
Keichii's head snapped up. "But -- "
"I died," Kamui repeated. "So did Subaru. Sorata. Arashi. Everyone . . . died." Tears were beginning to run down his cheeks now. "But . . . we got another chance." He laughed a little, sounding bitter. "I guess destiny decided it had messed us up so badly that we deserved to have a chance at a normal life."
Keichii said nothing, simply reached up and brushed the tears off Kamui's cheeks.
"That's why we're the ages we are. Hokuto -- Subaru's sister -- is the oldest out of the reincarnated. She's nine years older than Subaru. Sakurazuka-senpai is about six months older. A little less, I think. Subaru is three weeks older than me. The rest of us are right around the same age. Fuuma . . . Monou-san . . . and I were probably literally born within minutes of each other."
Keichii was nodding slowly now. "I see. I think." He offered Kamui a painful smile. "It's good to have you back."
Kamui tried to smile back. His death had obviously hit Keichii hard, and he found himself unsure of what to say to the now-much-older man.
"Would you like to join me for coffee?" Keichii asked, cheering up a little. "We have so much to catch up on . . ."
"Not today," Kamui said. "I promised Subaru I'd walk him home. Tomorrow?"
"Sure." Keichii smiled at him. "Thanks, Shirou-kun."
"We'd better be careful though." Kamui decided that Keichii could handle some gentle teasing. "We don't want people spreading rumors about us, ne?"
A light blush came to Keichii's cheeks. "Of course not." He paused. "Ne, Shirou-kun, are you and Sumeragi-kun . . .?"
"No," Kamui said hastily. "We're just friends, that's all. We have been since . . . well, since before I can remember in this lifetime. I guess I did . . . I did love him in the last life. But this time he really has a chance with Sakurazuka-senpai . . . and I can't get in the way of that."
Keichii smiled a little. "I'm sure you'll find someone, Shirou-kun."
Kamui smiled back. "I've got to go, then. See you tomorrow."
"See you," Keichii echoed.
Kamui left the classroom, his mind whirling from the encounter. He had often wondered what had happened to his friend after his death, but there really hadn't been any way of find out. With Fuuma, he was fairly sure that his opposing star would, at some point, appear in his life.
That was the point, after all.
//"I'll be the one to kill you."//
Kamui rubbed his forehead, trying to push the memories back. He decided to go for a walk while he waited for Subaru to finish with the archery practice; it would help calm his nerves. As far as he knew, no one else remembered their past lives; and it was just as well. Subaru sometimes had flashes; Kamui knew that was what he dreamed about. The funny thing about Subaru was that the visions hadn't started until shortly after he'd meet the reincarnation of Seishirou for the first time. Seeing him had apparently triggered the Sumeragi's memory.
He rounded and corner and walked right into someone. He let out a small cry as he stumbled backwards, then the other person grabbed his wrist and yanked him upright, keeping him from falling. "Sorry," he said. "I -- Fuuma!" He realized too late what he'd said and clapped his hand over his mouth. Monou was okay. Monou-san was better. Even Monou-kun would've been acceptable. But not just plain 'Fuuma.'
Fuuma just tilted his head to one side and smiled at him, letting go of his wrist. "Hi, Kamui."
Kamui blinked at him, then for the second time that day, his jaw dropped to the floor. "Y-You remember?" he whispered. He resisted the urge to start backing away slowly.
"Yeah," Fuuma said casually, as if the end of the world had been no big thing.
//when kamui dreams, his dreams are very like subaru's; there is blood and darkness, but his have no rain. it was dry that day, and tension crackled in the air like electricity. the wind blew strong around him, whipping his hair into his eyes and drying the sweat almost as soon as it trickled down his face. never in his life had he ever been so afraid.//
"I . . . I'm sorry!" Kamui blurted, taking a few steps backwards. "I-I . . . I didn't . . ."
"Kamui, I'm not mad at you." Fuuma's voice held just a trace of amusement.
"But I killed you," Kamui whispered.
Fuuma looked at him, eyes dark for a second, then shrugged. "I would have killed you. I would have destroyed the world. Not by any choice of my own, of course," he added hastily. "I . . . I was . . . I could see what was happening, but I couldn't act. It was weird." He grimaced a little. "Didn't like it very much."
Kamui let out a weak laugh.
//blood gushed over his hands and fuuma's eyes -- no, not fuuma's, the dark Kamui's -- were full of shock and dismay. kamui pulled on the shinken and it slid out of his former friend's body easily. he dropped it to the ground with a clatter and caught fuuma -- NOT fuuma -- as he fell to the ground.//
"Hey," Fuuma said, seeing Kamui start to shake. "Don't worry. It was pretty awful, all of it, but . . . that's why we got this other life." He looked away. "Every time I hurt you, I hated myself for it . . . please forgive me."
"Forgive you?" Kamui asked, his voice trembling. "I never held it against you, Fuuma. It's just . . . don't be worried if I shake when you're nearby. I don't mean it . . . I'm sure it'll go away in time . . ."
//his eyes slid shut then, blood staining his face. kamui thought he was gone, but his mouth opened and a few whispered words came out. "kamui . . . see you . . . later . . ."//
"You knew?" Kamui asked quietly. "That we'd come back?"
Fuuma nodded. "I knew."
There was a moment of silence between them.
"How did you die?" Fuuma asked curiously.
"I don't know," Kamui said. "It's the one thing I still don't remember."
"You're the youngest of all of us, aren't you," he said.
"Yeah," Kamui replied.
Fuuma looked down at his watch. "You should go; archery practice will be over by now."
Kamui nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."
Fuuma smiled. "Of course."
******
Most of the archery team was long gone, and Subaru was amusing himself while waiting for Kamui by taking down the targets. He had almost forgotten how heavy the biggest one was and nearly dropped it on his foot before someone caught the other side of it. "Let me help you with that."
Subaru looked up quickly and promptly dropped his side of the target. "S-S-Sakurazuka-s-senpai . . ."
"You can call me Seishirou," the older boy said with a smile. "You're Sumeragi Subaru, right?"
Subaru could only manage a nod.
"Can I call you Subaru?" he asked.
Subaru nodded again, a little more vigorously. Then he looked down at the target and grabbed his side of it again. They carried it back to the supply room, then, Subaru was chagrined to notice, there was no more work to do. Kamui was nowhere in sight.
"You waiting for your friend?" Seishirou asked.
Subaru nodded, blushing furiously.
"Mind if I sit with you?"
He shook his head.
"You don't talk much, do you," Seishirou asked.
He shook his head again.
Seishirou smiled. "When I saw you in class yesterday, I was wondering if you were the same person who always came to help us out at the tournaments. I'm glad I finally got to talk to you; you always disappear so quickly afterwards that I never have before."
Subaru blushed even redder. "A-Arigatou," he managed.
"You must be very smart to get into the senior class," Seishirou continued.
Subaru looked at the floor and mumbled, "N-not really . . ."
"Subaru! I'm sorry I'm late!" Kamui skidded around a corner and stopped dead. He looked at Subaru, who resembled a tomato with hair. Then at Seishirou, who smiled pleasantly. "Oh . . . um . . . I'll just . . . er . . . that is . . ." He was quickly taking steps backwards as he stammered.
Subaru jumped to his feet. "I'm all ready to go!" he blurted out.
Kamui blinked, bewildered.
Subaru turned and made a quick half-bow in Seishirou's direction. "Thanks for helping me," he said quickly, and escaped from the room.
Kamui and Seishirou blinked at each other.
"Is he always that shy?" Seishirou asked.
"Only around . . ." Kamui stopped himself from saying 'you' and changed it to "seniors."
"Is that so." Seishirou looked skeptical.
"Eheh . . . I've gotta go catch up to him. Jaa ne!" Kamui bolted after his friend. He caught up a few minutes later. "What on earth were you doing?"
"Nothing! Just talking!"
"Subaru, if 'just talking' makes you so red, I'd hate to see what would happen if you ever did anything else."
"Shut up!" Subaru turned pink. "He just help me put the last target away, that's all!"
Kamui sighed. "Subaru, you've been working up to speaking to him for almost a year now. And let me guess -- you didn't manage to say anything."
Subaru looked away.
Kamui just sighed.
//in their dreams, there is blood and rain and darkness and despair. but there is also the comfort of a friend, someone who holds them so dear that they mean more than life itself.
kamui remembers subaru's death.
it is not something he remembers often.
he has blocked it out of his mind.//
*****
