Author's Notes: Erm... this part is limey. Beware.
Part Seven: Apathy
//There is a point at which the human spirit is simply too worn down to take any more abuse; to stand even a minute more of pain. Everyone has a breaking point; some people are capable of withstanding huge amounts of pain, and some very little. All of them, of course, were of the former, or else they would not have been chosen for the end of the world.
They all got the choice to come back. They all made their own decisions. Some did it for love, some for hope, some out of regret.
Only one person was denied a choice, because he had to be the messenger.//
Kuzuki Kakyou's huge golden eyes are unreadable most of the time, but when light shines on them at just the right angle, it is almost as if you can see into his pain.
//He did not want to return to this world that he despised so much. He had taken his share of pain and was incapable of taking any more.
But he was the messenger. If he did not come back, then nobody could. He could not deny the others their chance out of his own selfishness.
So return he did, with no memory except a vague notion that this was not his first time around. In his dreams, he remembers a dark-haired girl who brought light into his life, but he does not remember what happened to her, and he doesn't know he could find her again if he tried. He believes she is gone, and thus she is lost to him, because he stays safe in his cocoon of bitterness and apathy.
He does not care enough to try.
He does not believe anything good ever came out of trying.//
Kakyou couldn't sleep. Something was bothering him. Something about large lavender eyes and that boy in the library. Something he should remember. Something he never should have forgotten.
//He does not try, simply put, because he is afraid of being hurt again, and thus being broken.//
****
It was a perfect day for a picnic; warm and sunny with just enough breeze to toss their hair but not make things too cold. It was one of the last such days they would get before autumn set in, and they were all glad to enjoy it. The park Kamui had chosen had a small pond, plenty of foot paths, and shade under trees for eating. Since all four of them contributed, they had plenty of food, and sat down to stuff themselves silly. (Not under a sakura tree. Kamui was very careful about this.)
"Hey," Seishirou said suddenly. "You were asking about Kuzuki-san?"
Fuuma nodded.
"He's over there." Seishirou pointed to a slender blonde figure sitting at the edge of the pond. Before any of the others could say anything, he waved his arm in the air and called, "Hey! Kuzuki-san!"
Kakyou looked up and blinked over at them. He nodded in slight recognition at Seishirou, then he frowned as he noticed Kamui. After a second, he looked back at the pond.
"Well, that was a stellar success," Kamui muttered.
"I told you he's really anti-social," Seishirou said with a shrug.
Kamui ground his teeth in frustration, then got up and headed toward him.
Seishirou looked at Fuuma. "Is this one of those things I'm not going to understand so I shouldn't even bother asking about?"
"Yeah," Fuuma said with a nod.
Kamui walked over to Kakyou. "Hi," he said. "I think this didn't go very well last time, so I'm trying again. My name's Shirou Kamui."
"What did you do to me?" Kakyou asked quietly.
Kamui blinked. "Eh?"
"Since I met you, I can't stop thinking that there's something I'm missing." Kakyou frowned, rubbing his forehead. "I was perfectly content to be alone. What did you do to me?"
"I don't know," Kamui said. "I really don't."
"And dreams, too. I've been having the weirdest dreams."
"I'm sorry," Kamui said. He paused, then added, "Would you like to have lunch with us? We have plenty of food."
Kakyou hesitated. "See, two days ago I would've said no without blinking. You've messed up the way I think."
"Sorry," Kamui said. "But I don't think being the most anti-social person on earth was really good for you anyway. Now let's go." He reached out to take Kakyou's hand. Kakyou didn't give it, but he stood up and brushed off his clothes. Kamui decided that it was good enough, and walked back to the others. Kakyou followed a little behind him.
Kamui introduced him, getting an odd look from Subaru that he ignored. Kakyou ate with them anyway, not saying much, but a few mild jokes from Kamui managed to get a smile out of him. He coughed a little, and he was very pale. Kamui wondered if he was actually sick with something, or just sick.
After eating, they lay on the grass and talked, watching the wind stir the trees and basically just enjoying the day. Kamui was pleased with the progress he'd made, and allowed himself to relax, lying on the ground. Fuuma watched him surreptitiously and said little. Subaru and Seishirou were talking quietly, off in their own little world. Kamui watched as Seishirou reached out and tapped Subaru's nose, gaining a blush from the younger boy.
I swear, Kamui thought, rolling his eyes, I'm just going to lock them in a closet together and refuse to let them out until they're dating.
Kakyou sat leaning against the tree and saying little, though he occasionally contributed to the conversation. Kamui watched as his expression went from being guarded and wary to being a little more relaxed.
"Subaru-chaaaaan!" a voice bounced its way across the park to them.
Subaru sat up, brushing grass out of his hair. "Over here, neesan!" he called, waving his arms around. Seeing the others' curious looks, he said, "Neesan offered to pick me up. We're going to go have tea with my -- well, she's not really my grandmother, but we all call her Obaasama because she's the head of the family. Though not the head of the Clan -- never mind. I don't really get it. But she's a nice old lady and I apparently remind her of her grandson, who's dead now, so neesan and I are going to go have tea with her."
"Oh," Kamui finally said. The others were just blinking at him.
Hokuto bounded up to the group. "Sorry I'm late, Subaru-chan -- phone call at the last minute. Are you all ready to go? Hi, Sei-chan, Kamui-chan . . . um, I don't know you other two. My name's Hokuto; I'm Subaru's neesan. Nice to meet you!"
"Monou Fuuma." Fuuma introduced himself first.
"Oh, right, Kamui's friend." Hokuto nodded, then she turned her eyes on the blonde boy and frowned. "Ne, maybe I do know you . . . you look awfully familiar. What's your name?"
Kakyou was staring at her. Outright, completely staring, his golden eyes huge in his pale face. He looked completely bewildered. "Kuzuki . . . Kakyou," he finally managed.
"Hm," Hokuto said. "You look more like a 'Kyou-chan to me. Can I call you 'Kyou-chan?"
Looking completely poleaxed, Kakyou managed a faint nod.
Kamui muffled a snicker.
"You have really pretty eyes," Hokuto said, leaning close to peer into them. "I've never seen eyes that are that shade of gold."
Kakyou turned very pink. "R-Really?" he managed.
She nodded. "They're really neat!"
"Yours are really neat, too," he said weakly. "They're very green."
"You think so?" she asked cheerfully. "Everyone always says that Subaru-chan's are greener than mine for some reason. Which really isn't fair because he doesn't even wear green and blue clothes to bring the color out like I do!" True to her word, Hokuto was dressed in a light blue sweater with fitted blue jeans. "Ne, Sei-chan, someday I'll have to show you some pictures of Subaru-chan as a kid; they're really cute because Mom and Dad let me pick his clothes."
"Neeee~saaaaan!" Subaru protested, turning red.
"Really?" Seishirou asked, sounding extremely interested.
"I'll find them for you," she said with an evil grin. Then she checked her watch. "Whoops! We're gonna be so late!!" She grabbed her brother by the arm and hauled him upwards. "Come on, you can flirt later!"
"Who was flirting?" Subaru asked indignantly. "You were the one flirting! With someone my age, no less!"
Hokuto turned an interesting shade of pink, but she had nothing on Kakyou's bright red face.
Looking smug, Subaru grinned. "Okay, I'm ready to go now."
"Meanie." Hokuto headed back towards her car with Subaru in tow.
"Subaru's finally getting his own back," Kamui observed with a grin.
"About time, too," Seishirou said with a yawn.
Kakyou was still a vivid shade of red, his eyes lingering on Hokuto's vanishing form.
Kamui nudged Fuuma and grinned. "Hokuto means well, of course," he said. "She's really nice. Just a little . . ."
"Overzealous," Seishirou chipped in dryly.
Kamui nodded with a smile. "That's it exactly. But she's bound and determined to see Subaru happy. I wish I had a sister like her."
Kakyou was still vaguely pink.
"It's really weird that she doesn't have a boyfriend or anything," Kamui continued brightly. "But I guess she spends most of her time working and helping out at the house."
"Maybe she's just saving herself for Mr. Right," Fuuma suggested.
Kamui snickered. "Not Hokuto. She's way too impulsive. I think it's just that no one's shown any interest in her yet. I mean, she is kinda loud."
"True," Seishirou said.
There was a brief moment of silence.
"Kakyou-san," Kamui said after a second, "you're blushing."
"I am not," Kakyou said fiercely, blushing even more.
"In that case, you're getting sick, because you're awfully red," Kamui said calmly.
"Thinking of Hokuto-san's pretty green eyes, are you?" Fuuma teased.
"They're a very nice shade of green," Seishirou spoke up. "I know, because Subaru-kun's match."
"I am not interested in Hokuto-san's green eyes," Kakyou said between ground teeth.
"Okay, okay," Kamui said. He looked at his watch. "It's getting pretty late; I need to get home. Kakyou-san, do you want to join us for lunch tomorrow? We always eat just beyond the stone wall."
Kakyou stammered for a second, then said, "Sure. I suppose."
Kamui grinned. Things were looking up.
****
"So, if I may ask this question without you laughing at me until you turn blue in the face," Hokuto said brightly, "who was your friend?"
Subaru bit back laughter valiantly, ending in a coughing fit. "I don't know him, really," he finally said. "He's Kamui's friend. We saw him in the park and thought he might like to have lunch with us."
"So he's your age?"
Subaru gave his sister an eye. "Why do you ask?"
"Just curious."
"Mm hmm." Subaru hardly sounded convinced. "He's the grade above us, like Sakurazuka-senpai."
"Oh," she finally said.
"So if you wait a year, he'll be legal," Subaru teased.
Hokuto turned a gratifying shade of red. "Unfair," she admonished her little brother.
"Oh, believe me, I know." Subaru grinned wickedly. "But it's high time I get some payback, ne?"
"I disagree," Hokuto said.
"You would. He's very pretty, though."
Hokuto turned pink again.
"Seems very nice," Subaru continued. "Though he's really quiet. I'm not sure he could put up with you. You might have to buy him ear plugs."
"Subaru-chan, cut it out," Hokuto said.
"Why?"
Hokuto blinked. "Because it's not nice. You're accusing me of pedophilia."
"I never said that."
"Just because I was nice to your friends doesn't mean I have any ulterior motives," Hokuto said firmly.
"Neesan, I love you, and I love the way you're nice to my friends, but you're never that nice to my friends."
"Oh, be quiet."
***
Author's Notes: Yeah, okay, so many people made the crack about the archery and Yuki that I had to give him a cameo. It's brief, and I put it in basically because the idea of anybody being jealous of Yuki for any reason is just hilarious.
"You're sure you don't want to come?" Kamui asked, giving Kakyou a look. "The rest of us are all going to be there. Sakurazuka-senpai's on the archery team and Subaru helps them out a lot. Fuuma and I are both going." Somewhere along the line, he had started calling his friend by his first name again. No one had questioned it, so he had decided to stop trying to hide it.
"It's really not my idea of fun," Kakyou said firmly. Kamui had to admit that he was hard put to see the other boy at an archery tournament.
"It's not really mine, either," he said. "I just go to cheer Sakurazuka-senpai on."
Seishirou laughed. "Then you might as well skip this one. I'll be lucky if I even make it into the semi-finals. There are going to be a lot of good archers there."
"But you're really good too," Subaru said, trying to not sound like he was fawning.
"True. But not that good. Tsukishirou-kun will win, of course."
"Who's that?" Subaru asked.
"He's from Seijou High in Tomoeda. He always wins."
"Oh," Subaru said, sounding as if he were pouting.
Seishirou laughed. "I can't win all the time, you know."
Subaru just made a face.
"Anyway," Kamui said, "you really should come. It's a lot of fun."
Out of good excuses, Kakyou hedged. "I don't know how I would get there . . ."
"Oh, don't worry about it," Subaru said. "Neesan's going to be driving Kamui and Monou-san and I. I'm sure she won't mind picking you up on the way. Sakurazuka-senpai is going with the rest of the team, of course."
"Of course," Kakyou echoed faintly.
"I'm always asking Neesan for favors like that," Subaru said with a tiny grin. "I'm sure it'll be fine."
Bewildered, Kakyou could only agree.
****
Additional Author's Note: I have no idea how difficult it is to make nikuman or whether or not Subaru would actually make them for a snack, so if you're Japanese and I'm wrong, I'm sorry.
"You'll stay for the tournament, won't you, Neesan?" Subaru asked cheerfully as she parked the car.
Kakyou's eyes widened a tiny bit.
"Well, I'm not doing anything else today, so you'd better bet after driving all the way out here, I want to see your sweetheart in action," she said, winking.
"He is not my -- oh, why do I argue with you?" Subaru wandered off to find Seishirou.
"Let's sit down," Kamui said.
Subaru rejoined them about twenty minutes later. "Since it's such an important tournament, they didn't really want a lot of people wandering around back there," he said. "Which is only fair. So I helped everyone get ready and now I get to just watch." He glanced at the group with raised eyebrows. "Though I'll definitely feel like a fifth wheel."
"Subaru -- " Kamui and Hokuto simultaneously protested. Fuuma smirked. Kakyou looked frightened.
Subaru grinned and turned his attention to the tournament. Seishirou made it all the way to the finals, but lost in the end. The others waited for him afterwards to congratulate him on how far he'd made it. "He's taking an awful long time," Subaru said. "I'll go find him -- I should help pack up anyway."
He found Seishirou talking to Tsukishirou-kun, so he hung back, packing things up and trying not to stare. Of course Seishirou was entitled to talk to the winner of the tournament -- he was probably just getting pointers or something. Subaru squelched the jealous feeling that was making his stomach flipflop.
Fortunately, Seishirou turned and saw him before he could turn green all over. He waved him over. "Tsukishirou-kun, this is Subaru-kun. He helps out around here."
"Konnichi wa," Subaru said half-heartedly.
"Konnichi wa!" Tsukishirou-kun grinned sunnily at him. "You know, you look a lot like my friend To-ya."
Something about the way he said 'friend' made Subaru a lot less jealous.
They talked for a few minutes, then Tsukishirou-kun had to leave. Subaru and Seishirou joined the rest of the group. "So are we doing anything with the rest of our day?" Fuuma asked.
"I have to get home," Kakyou said quickly. Nobody dared push him for further sociality.
"I can drop you off," Hokuto said. "I have some errands to run anyway."
"We could go to a movie," Kamui suggested, mentioning one he wanted to see. "But I have some chores left to do."
"How about this," Fuuma said. "You can go do your chores, and I'll come keep you company. Then we can meet up for the movie later this afternoon."
Subaru nodded. "We can meet at my house -- it's closest to downtown. How long do you think you'll be, Kamui?"
"An hour, tops," Kamui said.
"I'll just go with you, then," Seishirou said to Subaru. "If that's okay?"
Subaru blushed. "That's fine."
They all piled into the car. Hokuto dropped Kakyou off first, then dropped Kamui and Fuuma off at Kamui's house. "Now you two behave yourselves," she said with a wink, pulling up in front of her house to let Subaru and Seishirou out.
"Hai, hai," Subaru said, rolling his eyes. "You hungry?" he asked Seishirou, going into the kitchen.
"Starved," Seishirou admitted.
"Good, I am too." Subaru bent over the fridge, trying to find some food. "Hm, we don't really have much to eat . . . I could make something, if you like."
"That'd be great. Thanks."
Subaru continued to move around the kitchen. It amazed him how completely at ease he'd begun to feel around Seishirou. He estimated he had really known the older boy for a little over a month, but he felt as if he'd known him for lifetimes.
It was odd, though, how jealous he'd spontaneously gotten of Tsukishirou-kun. Seishirou barely knew the other boy, probably only saw him once a month, if that often. But just seeing Seishirou talk to someone else made Subaru want to rip someone's hair out.
I'm afraid of losing him, he realized suddenly.
He clicked his tongue impatiently. How could he be afraid of losing someone he didn't even have?
"What are you thinking?" Seishirou asked.
Subaru nearly choked on his answer. "Not much, really."
"Liar," Seishirou said, amused. "You never think about nothing."
"It's a fatal flaw of mine." Subaru poked at the food, so he didn't have to look at Seishirou.
"Well, then, answer my question. What are you thinking about?"
"Life, death, and the mysteries of the universe."
Seishirou paused. "You're aware that you're no fun at all, right?"
"Of course."
"You sound nervous. Were you thinking evil thoughts?"
Evil, no. Lustful, yes. Subaru realized what he'd just thought and went completely red in the face. He offered up thanks that Seishirou couldn't see him blush. He cleared his throat hastily.
"Is that a yes?" Seishirou still sounded amused.
"Take it however you want," Subaru said, and hoped that his voice sounded normal. This can't be right, he thought irritably. I shouldn't be wanting him like this! I don't even really know him!
Never mind the fact that it felt like he'd known Seishirou for years . . .
He shook his head a little, remembering what Kamui had been saying. If he didn't tell Seishirou how he felt, it was possible that nothing would ever happen. And he didn't really want that . . . did he?
He didn't want to lose Seishirou.
He was so deep in thought that he didn't hear his friend come up behind him, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Seishirou's hands on his shoulders. "You scared me," he gasped out, turning around and suddenly finding himself mere inches away from the older boy.
"Sorry," Seishirou said. Subaru was impossibly close, and Seishirou had to squelch every instinct that was screaming for him to just give in and kiss him. He couldn't scare Subaru off.
Couldn't hurt Subaru.
If there was only one thing he knew, that was it: he didn't want to hurt Subaru. And he was afraid that the slightest wrong move on his part might do so. So he was letting the Sumeragi do everything as his own pace, no matter how frustrating it really was.
"You know," Subaru said, and cursed his sudden dry mouth, "I've never noticed before, but your eyes aren't exactly the same color."
Seishirou backed away a step, forcing a smile that was almost genuine, trying not to look disappointed. "Really?"
Subaru nodded. "One's a little lighter than the other."
"Makes sense," Seishirou said. "I'm blind in one eye."
Subaru blinked at him. "Really? Why?"
"Just born that way," Seishirou said calmly. "I don't even know what it's like to see with both eyes."
"But doesn't that make the archery really hard?" Subaru asked curiously.
"Since I learned with one eye, it's never really given me the trouble that it does people who suddenly lose an eye," Seishirou explained. "I don't have much for depth perception, but it doesn't really matter in sighting a target."
"Oh," Subaru said. Something about this was bugging him. "There's really no reason for you to be blind in that eye?" he persisted.
"Really none," Seishirou said.
"And that doesn't bug you?"
"Not really. I mean, I don't know what I'm missing."
//i realized when he lost his eye protecting me//
"Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked. "Are you okay?"
//blood dripping on the floor and tears on his face, breaking free from hokuto's comforting arms and pounding on the door, begging to be let in, to not have seishirou-san taken away from him//
"Subaru-kun!" Seishirou caught Subaru as he sagged to his knees. "Are you all right?"
//"it's okay, subaru-kun, i don't blame you. don't worry about it."//
"H-Hai," Subaru whispered shakily. "I'm fine. Just . . . a bit weirded out."
"What happened?" Seishirou helped him into a chair and got him a mug of tea.
Subaru clutched the mug between both hands, holding it so tightly that his knuckles turned white, then lifting it up for a sip. His hands were trembling. "Just . . . kind of like the dreams. Only I'm awake sometimes."
"Like visions?" Seishirou asked, frowning.
"I guess you could call them that," Subaru said, then sighed. "I guess it sounds crazy."
"No, it doesn't," Seishirou said, sitting down next to him. "I have them too. Not very often."
Subaru stared at him. "Really?"
"Yeah. Maybe once a week or so."
"What are they?" Subaru asked.
"It depends. They're different every time. But like you say. From the dreams. Sometimes a bridge -- "
"A high bridge?" Subaru asked. "Over water?"
Seishirou nodded. "And there's blood."
"There's always blood," Subaru murmured. "In all of them."
"This is really weird," Seishirou said.
"And sakura petals," Subaru said, and Seishirou nodded. "And rain. In a lot of mine, there's rain."
Seishirou paused. "There's never rain in mine."
"At least there's one difference," Subaru said.
They blinked at each other for a minute.
Subaru got up to get the food, putting a plate of nikuman down on the table and staring at it. Seishirou didn't look terribly enthused either.
"I thought you were hungry," Subaru tried.
"I was."
"Maybe Kamui and Monou-san will want them . . ."
Seishirou checked his watch. "They'll probably be here soon."
Subaru fidgeted. He didn't want Kamui and Fuuma to come break up this precious time with Seishirou -- but at the same time, he was starting to get nervous. Seishirou kept . . . well, looking at him.
He took a few deep breaths. If he didn't get up the courage to say something, nothing would ever happen. And that wasn't what he wanted.
"Um, Sakurazuka-senpai . . ." He managed to not stutter. He was pretty proud of himself for that.
Seishirou looked pained. "For the hundredth time, you don't have to call me that. Can you please just call me Seishirou?"
"S-Seishirou-senpai . . ." Oh, there was the stutter. "I . . . um, I . . . that is . . ."
Seishirou was looking vaguely amused. "Yes?" he prompted.
Subaru turned bright red and forced himself to spit it out. "I like you." Now there was an understatement if he'd ever heard one. He wondered when 'like' had become synonmyous to 'am completely and utterly obsessed with you.' The word like was taking on worlds of new meaning involving wants and needs that Subaru barely even understood.
Then again, what else was he supposed to say?
Seishirou just smiled. "I like you too, Subaru-kun."
Subaru's first thought was to wonder if Seishirou's 'like' came even close to being the same thing as his 'like.' Then what Seishirou had said actually set in and he blushed even more. "Y-You do?" he managed, a corner of his brain still nagging at him that they ought to define 'like' before this conversation went any further. "I mean, you're not joking?"
"Why would I do that?" Seishirou asked mildly, before taking a handful of Subaru's shirt and pulling the smaller boy in for a kiss.
"S-Seishirou-sen . . ." Subaru tried to protest for about three seconds before he realized that he really didn't want to be protesting at all. He scooted his chair a little closer so Seishirou didn't have to lean as far; Seishirou released his shirt and put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer.
//lips against his and strong hands pinning him to the wall//
Their lips brushed together a few times, Subaru trying not to seem nervous and adjust to the sensation. Then Seishirou leaned in for a deeper kiss, his lips caressing Subaru's, coaxing them open. Subaru shivered, suddenly very much aware that this was SAKURAZUKA-SENPAI and the older boy, whom he'd idolized for at least a year now, was actually KISSING HIM . . .
And he was getting one hell of a stitch in his side from leaning over like this.
He pulled away and immediately saw the disappointed look in Seishirou's eyes. He had to clear his throat a few times before he could speak. "I-It hurts to lean like that," he finally managed.
Seishirou looked a little relieved to find out that this was the only problem Subaru had. Without another word, he pulled Subaru over to him, taking the younger boy off guard long enough to get him firmly seated on his lap.
//pinned down with weight on top of him, skin against skin, tiny gasps for air and his entire body shivering//
"This isn't comfy either," Subaru grumbled, and rearranged himself so he was facing Seishirou, both of them too impatient to bother going into another room where they would have the luxury of a couch.
"That better?" Seishirou asked, amused. When Subaru nodded, he said, "Good," and pulled him in for another kiss. Subaru would normally be a few inches shorter, but since he was sitting on Seishirou's lap, he was actually a few inches above the other man. But it was far easier to lean down than it was to lean over. His hands twined in Seishirou's hair, keeping his friend pulled close to him.
//kisses going from intense to desperate, the normal tension between them melting away to nothing//
A small part of his brain -- probably the same part that kept nagging about the definition of 'like' -- was demanding to know if he knew what he was doing.
Subaru told it to shove off.
He shivered again as Seishirou deepened the kiss even more, sliding his tongue between Subaru's lips. Subaru kissed back eagerly, learning how to do it quickly enough. Seishirou's fingers were working down the line of buttons on his shirt, undoing them. As it was a dark colored shirt, and Subaru had been running late as usual that morning, he hadn't bothered to wear a T-shirt underneath it. Seishirou finished with the buttons and Subaru had to bite back a moan as he felt Seishirou's fingers against his skin. It was such an utterly new sensation that he thought his skin might have honestly caught fire.
//fingers tracing over all of him, exploring and searching and finding//
"Is this okay with you, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked, pulling away.
Subaru had to admit it, his first thought was, Oh God, shut up and start kissing me again already! He managed to stop himself from actually saying this, however. What came out instead wasn't much better. "Seishirou . . . san . . . please don't stop . . ."
Thus reassured, Seishirou began kissing him again, his lips slowly working their way down Subaru's jaw and to his ear, his hands moving in patterns over Subaru's chest. Subaru let out a whispery moan, his fingers digging into Seishirou's back.
//little flashes of pain beneath pleasure, pleasure beneath pain, something underneath his skin screaming for release, for relief//
The doorbell rang.
Subaru moaned something incoherent.
"Ignore it," Seishirou said, kissing his way down Subaru's neck.
"But it's probably Kamui and Monou-san," Subaru gasped out.
"They can go to the damned movie by themselves. They'd be happier that way anyway; you haven't missed the looks Monou-kun keeps giving Kamui-kun. They don't need us."
Subaru had to admit he had a point there. He also had to admit that his shirt had fallen on the floor, and he was far more interested in seeing where that might go than in answering the door.
//self-imposed agony and shame as he broke//
The doorbell rang again. Subaru could hear Kamui's voice calling his name. He also didn't care, not one little bit, because Seishirou had kissed along his collarbone and was working his way down.
Then he heard the familiar sound of the front door opening.
Subaru squeaked and nearly jumped off of Seishirou's lap, fishing around for his shirt. He had time to grab it and pull it in front of himself before Kamui, Fuuma, and Hokuto came into the room.
"Subaru!" Hokuto immediately began. "What are you doing leaving them on the doorstep? You shouldn't . . ."
Her jaw dropped.
Kamui burst into laughter.
Fuuma just raised an eyebrow.
Subaru, blushing a deep shade of red, said, "What?"
Kamui collapsed into a chair, snickering.
"If they're just going to laugh, we were in the middle of something," Seishirou said pointedly.
Kamui laughed even harder. Hokuto was completely bug-eyed.
"So are we going to the movie or not?" Fuuma asked calmly.
"Sure," Seishirou said. "Sounds like fun." He looked at Subaru. "Put your shirt back on, Subaru-kun."
Subaru blushed even redder and pulled his shirt back on. He didn't really want to go to a movie, but they obviously weren't going to be able to do much with Hokuto around. Nor could they really beg off to go to Seishirou's -- that would just be rude. He buttoned his shirt up and turned to face the others, ignoring how crimson he knew his face was.
Eventually, he cleared his throat and asked, "Anyone want a nikuman?"
****
//in their dreams, neither realizes how much the one loves the other. they do not even realize how much love they carry within themselves. their love is tainted by bitterness, twisted with hatred, and warped with pain.
love isn't always a blessing.
only through death could they be purified.//
****
