Warning: This part is incredibly depressing.

Part Sixteen

//If you looked any one of them in the eye, you could see that they practically radiated power. It rolled off all of them in waves. They were supposed to save the world, after all. You couldn't go about doing that if you were powerless.

Yet Kamui was powerless, in a way that went to the very core of his being.

He could level buildings, he could fly, he had the magic of the world at his fingertips, and he could not save the people he loved. The power of being the Kamui was in direct conflict with the power of his Wishes, and thus his hands were tied.

He was helpless.

More than anything else, this is what he cannot forgive himself for.

He couldn't save Fuuma, but Fuuma had just as much power as he did, in his own way. So perhaps that made sense. That he has forgiven himself for. It was Fate, it was Destiny, whatever you choose to call it -- Kamui knew that it was not his fault.

It was Subaru that he could not forgive himself for.

More than with anyone else, when it came to Subaru, he was helpless. He wanted to help, to make Subaru forget about Seishirou, to make him happy.

But Subaru, in his own way, had just as much power as Kamui, because he simply loved Seishirou that much. It was twisted, obsessive, destructive.

But it was love.

Kamui wanted to help him be happy without Seishirou, but such a thing for Subaru was simply impossible. Subaru did not understand the concept of the words "happy without Seishirou." He didn't know what it meant.

He didn't understand.

So Kamui, try as he might, try as he did, could never turn Subaru's eyes to him.

This is what he cannot forgive himself for.

He was the Kamui, he had power beyond all imaginings, and in a universe of infinite possibilities, his hands were tied for all of them.

And there was nothing he could do.//

****

"You really don't look so great," Fuuma said, voice concerned. "Are you sure you're up to this?"

"Not really, no," Kamui said with a small smile. "But I can't just abandon Subaru. I have to make sure he's okay. And anyway, I made some real progress with him yesterday. I'm hoping I'll be able to talk some more sense into him today. I'm pretty sure he'll give in eventually -- he loves Seishirou too much not to."

"Should I tell him that?" Fuuma asked.

Kamui shrugged. "I don't want to give him false hope. But all the same, I don't want him to give up completely. I'll trust your judgment. Are you heading over there now?"

Fuuma nodded. "I'm hoping I don't wake him up. He needs his rest. But I told him I was coming today."

"Okay." Kamui hesitated. "Do you know, Subaru thought they could just let the Tree die?"

Fuuma blinked. "So?"

Kamui shrugged. "I just thought he, of all people, would know better. I mean, hardly anyone knows the Japanese magical system better than the Sumeragis."

"Well, it's not exactly as if he had time to assimilate," Fuuma said dryly. "From the way Seishirou described it, the Tree dumped all the information in their brains and then demanded a decision."

Kamui sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. "If I can just make Subaru see what's going on . . ."

"Seishirou still doesn't want you to, you know," Fuuma said. "He never outright said it, but I knew from the way he was acting yesterday. He thinks he doesn't deserve Subaru's forgiveness after everything he did."

Kamui resisted the urge to beat somebody's head into a brick wall. He wasn't even sure whose; he was beginning to think that anyone would do. "After all the effort I'm putting in to make Subaru stop being an ass, he had better appreciate it."

Fuuma laughed a little. "I'll try."

"Yeah, me too."

"You want to come over for dinner afterwards?" Fuuma offered.

Kamui smiled, a thin little smile that didn't touch his eyes, which showed only his weariness. "Yeah. Thanks."

****

"He's doing his schoolwork," Hokuto said, letting Kamui in the front door. "I went by to pick it up for him earlier. He wanted me to tell you he's asleep, but I said I wouldn't lie for him."

"Great," Kamui said. "That can't be good."

"I think he had some sort of weird dream," Hokuto said with a shrug. "He was saying some really weird stuff when I woke him up this morning. He said he wanted to think some things over, and I said he'd better think them over before you came."

Kamui sighed. "Well, I'll go see him."

"How's Sei-chan doing?" Hokuto asked, her voice sympathetic.

Kamui made a face. "Not too great. Fuuma went to see him. We're trying to keep him from completely giving up."

Hokuto paused. "Kamui . . . can't you tell me what happened?"

He sighed. "No. I can't. But Subaru can -- and should, if you ask me. I'll try to convince him."

She nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

Kamui softly padded up to Subaru's room and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, he opened it a little and peeked in. Subaru was sitting at his desk, staring down at a piece of paper with a tiny frown on his face. Kamui opened the door the rest of the way and came in. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Trigonometry," Subaru answered, looking at his paper. "This was hard enough when I wasn't missing classes."

Kamui peered over his shoulder. "You have to divide by the cosine of pi," he remarked.

Subaru gave him a dirty look. "I'll figure it out myself."

"You're welcome," Kamui replied, stung.

Subaru shut the textbook and looked at him. There was something in his deep green eyes that Kamui had never seen before. They looked strained, several emotions vying for first place.

"What?" Kamui asked, unnerved by that stare.

"Why did you lie to me?" Subaru asked quietly.

Kamui resisted the urge to back away a step. "Huh?" he asked, feigning innocence and hoping to Hell and back again that Subaru didn't mean what he thought Subaru meant.

"I had a dream last night," Subaru said, standing up and facing Kamui. "I dreamed that we . . ." He took a deep breath. "That we . . ."

"You can't even say it," Kamui said through clenched teeth, feeling anger well up inside him. "Does it disgust you that much?"

"Why did you lie?!" Subaru shouted.

Kamui flinched away. "Because you didn't want the truth, Subaru. You had a big enough stick up your ass without me telling you that."

Subaru sputtered for a minute. "So you lied to me?"

"Yes," Kamui said. "We slept together. Are you happy now?"

"No," Subaru ground out. "Why did you?"

"Why did I lie or why did I sleep with you?" Kamui shot back.

"Both. The second more."

"I lied because, as I said, you didn't want to hear the truth. And I wasn't about to spit that out with Fuuma standing right there; I wanted to tell him that later, in privacy. And I slept with you because . . ." His voice faltered. "Because it was what you wanted. You wanted to be with Seishirou again, and that was the closest you could ever come."

"But you . . ." Subaru's voice trailed off in astonishment. "How could you let me do that?"

Kamui rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm glad you're so concerned about me all of a sudden."

"Kamui! I'm serious!" Subaru looked down at his feet suddenly. "I . . . I feel awful about that. I can't tell you how . . . how I felt when I woke up this morning and remembered."

Kamui just looked at him.

"Why?" Subaru asked. "Why did you let me do that?"

"Because I loved you," Kamui said simply. "Because I would've sacrificed anything for you to be happy. I thought that would help. I thought maybe, if I just let you dwell for a while, eventually you'd start to recover and love me for who I was. I didn't want to rush you. And I . . . I needed you." Kamui pushed back tears. "I needed to know you cared about me."

"But . . . that couldn't have helped," Subaru said, his voice holding a tint of unease.

"No," Kamui said. "But I thought it would make you happy. So I didn't care." He paused. "You would've given up anything for Seishirou, wouldn't you have?"

Subaru hesitated, then nodded.

"Then why is it so hard to understand?"

Subaru didn't answer.

"I know you don't want to believe I loved you that much," Kamui said quietly.

Subaru looked away.

"But I did." Kamui paused. "So if anyone has the right to tell you to go back to Seishirou . . . it's me."

"But -- " Subaru began.

Kamui cut him off. "You want to know something about how much Seishirou has changed?"

"No," Subaru said irritably.

Kamui talked right over the word. "He doesn't want me to be here, trying to convince you. He told Fuuma and me that it's your decision. That watching you be happy for another life is his penance for what he did last time. That he doesn't deserve your forgiveness."

Subaru said nothing.

"He wants you to hate him," Kamui said. "He wants that because it's the only way he can feel less guilty about what he did. Except . . . if you forgive him. But you can't give him that, can you. Because you're too busy thinking about yourself."

Subaru flinched.

"You know," Kamui said, after a long pause, "I never really realized how selfish you are."

"Shut up," Subaru whispered.

"You really don't care about anyone except yourself, do you," Kamui continued, as if Subaru hadn't even spoken. "You didn't care how much you had hurt me by using me like that. Hell, you went and killed yourself the next day -- let me tell you how good that made me feel about myself."

"Shut up," Subaru repeated, louder.

"And now you've gone and taken away Seishirou's one chance at happiness, for something he did trying to protect you. That sure shows how much you care about him. Did you ever really love him at all, Subaru?" Kamui challenged. "Or did you just love the idea of being in love with him?"

"SHUT UP!"

"I'm not going to shut up," Kamui said fiercely. "Somebody needs to say this to you, damn it! You don't care about anyone except yourself, and you like being miserable. You must or you wouldn't have wallowed so much last time around. And now you're wallowing again! You're nothing but a selfish coward, I don't know why I ever loved you!"

Silence.

"S-Subaru . . ." Kamui's voice trailed off. His eyes were wide with shock. "Subaru, I'm sorry . . . I . . . I didn't mean . . ."

Subaru just stared at him.

Kamui put a hand over his mouth to stifle the impending tears, then turned and ran out of the room. He pounded down the stairs and out the front door, only pausing long enough to grab his shoes and carry them with him. He ran blindly, hardly able to see through his tears.

****

Seishirou was sifting through a stack of faxes that was about a centimeter thick when Fuuma got there. He also had a half-finished sandwich and a mug of tea next to him, which Fuuma was glad to see. "What are those?" he asked, motioning to the papers.

"Requests," Seishirou said dryly. "The government is, shall we say, pleased to have their employee back. These started coming when the Tree informed them it had chosen again -- I don't even want to know how it did that. They don't know about the reincarnation thing, though. But anyway, these are my orders."

Fuuma looked at the stack. "You're going to be busy."

"Thanks for reminding me."

"Sorry. How do you have your magic back, anyway?"

Seishirou shrugged. "I'm not sure, honestly. The Tree said something about how it was innate within me. The way Subaru's magic is innate within him, but he never learned how to use it."

"So you're learning how to use it?"

Seishirou nodded. "The Tree's been teaching me. Apparently I'm a very quick learner. My mabaroshi keep collapsing though." His voice was rather sour. "The Tree says I'm not putting enough effort in."

Fuuma couldn't keep back a smile.

"Of course you two think it's funny," Seishirou said with a sigh. "But I'll have you know it's rather embarrassing to have random people walking into your illusions and staring at you like you've grown another head." He paused. "That was when the Tree taught me how to modify people's memories."

Fuuma bit his lip to keep from laughing and tactfully changed the subject. "It's boring at school, without you and Subaru."

"Hm," Seishirou said noncommittally.

"How are you feeling?"

Seishirou glanced up at him. "When did you become such a mother hen?"

"When you started needing one."

Seishirou rolled his eyes. "I got nine hours of sleep, got up and ate lunch, then have done nothing but read faxes. I'm fine."

Fuuma laughed. "Yeah, you look it."

Seishirou sighed. "I look better, at least."

"You do and you don't," Fuuma said with a shrug. "Yes, the dark circles under your eyes are going away, and you're not as pale. But I think you haven't combed your hair in three days."

Seishirou shrugged. "At least I remembered to change clothes. Though I probably wouldn't have done that if I hadn't gotten blood all over the ones I was wearing the other day."

"It's just rather unnerving to see you neglect your personal appearance."

He shrugged again. "What's the point? You and Kamui-kun are the only two people I see, and you don't care." A look of annoyance crossed his face. "Will you stay out of this?"

"What did the Tree say?" Fuuma asked. He was starting to grow used to this.

"That if my hair gets much greasier, I'll get lice," Seishirou said dryly. Then he sighed. "Now it's telling me that of course it's only concerned for me. I'd like to take an axe to it, but at this point that would be rather counterproductive."

Fuuma couldn't help but laugh.

"It . . . helps, in a really weird way," Seishirou said softly. "The Tree tries to keep me from moping too much. I guess it's sort of a friend." He sighed, then added, "And now it says I'm making it blush."

"What does the Tree think of me?" Fuuma asked curiously.

"The Tree," Seishirou said decisively, "likes you. And Kamui-kun. It says it can only do so much, so it likes anyone who makes me eat and sleep and stop moping on occasion. And it especially likes you because you got me out of my wallowing session yesterday."

Fuuma jumped as he heard a voice in his head.

::You talked about what had happened to you, and that can't have been easy for you. For that, I owe you. But Seishirou didn't want to say that.::

"Yeah, yeah, shut up," Seishirou muttered.

"And Kamui?" Fuuma prompted, interested to hear what the Tree had to say about his friend.

::Kamui . . .:: The Tree paused for a long moment. ::I like Kamui. But he has a more powerful case of denial than Seishirou did, and that's saying something.::

Fuuma blinked. "Huh?"

::Never mind. You'll see.::

Fuuma ground his teeth. "That's not fair."

"No, but that's the Tree," Seishirou said with a shrug. "You get used to it." He paused. "Couldn't you see Kamui's real wish if you wanted to?"

"Yes," Fuuma said with a shrug. "But I don't want to."

"Oh," Seishirou said, after a pause. Then he sighed. "You'd better go -- I have to finish this before dark tonight. I've got tons of work to do. Thanks for coming, though. I mean that."

The phone rang. Seishirou blinked, then picked it up. "Moshi moshi . . . yeah, he's here. Hold on a sec." He offered the receiver to Fuuma. "It's Kamui-kun."

"Oh." Fuuma looked vaguely surprised, then took the phone. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Kamui sounded tired. "I'm just not going to be over for dinner. I'm . . . I just don't feel very well all of a sudden."

Fuuma blinked, suspicious.

::You're right. He's lying.::

Fuuma jumped a foot in the air. "Ah, okay," he said, knowing he sounded distracted. "You're sure you're all right?"

"Aa. I'm fine. Just want to go to bed."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, ne?"

"Yeah." Kamui hung up without another word.

"Don't do that," Fuuma said to the ceiling.

Seishirou looked amused.

::What? You wanted to know if he was lying, and he was. He's depressed. Why don't you go surprise him?::

"Because he'll get annoyed," Fuuma said.

::No he won't. Trust me -- he needs to know you care about him right now.::

"Great," Fuuma muttered. "What happened?"

::That's something you'll have to ask him. On the upside, I think what he said to the Sumeragi really took this time.::

"Perfect," Fuuma muttered. He looked at Seishirou. "I guess I've got to go."

"Yeah," Seishirou said. "I'll see you later."

****

Moping was an art, and it was an art that Kamui had perfected. He knew exactly how sullen he could get before his mother got irritated, exactly how little he could eat before she got worried. He spent the evening moping, wondering what on earth had possessed him to say all those things to Subaru.

And, more important, wondering why he ever really had loved the Sumeragi.

The doorbell rang. Kamui listened in half-interest to his mother's footsteps as she went to answer it, then the vague murmur of her voice from downstairs. Then he heard her calling for him.

"What is it?" he called back. His door was open and his voice carried downstairs easily from where he was lying facedown on his bed. He didn't want to get up. It was a simple lack of motivation. Anyway, whoever was at the door couldn't really be anyone he wanted to see. It was probably Hokuto, coming to yell at him for what he'd said to her brother.

"Monou-kun is here to see you!" his mother shouted back.

Kamui nearly wilted. Great. That was even better. Fuuma had seen through his admittedly pathetic lie and was coming to check on him. He wanted to say he was sick, but his mother would probably insist on him going to the doctor -- she'd said at dinner that he looked especially pale. After a long minute, he got up and trudged downstairs. Fuuma was probably angry with him for lying. Or maybe, even worse, he'd found out what he'd said to Subaru and was mad at him for that. His heart ached at the thought of his last friend being angry with him.

He came down the stairs, his feet dragging over every step, and looked up at Fuuma. Oddly enough, Fuuma didn't look mad at him. He just looked kind of sad, and a little concerned. "You all right?" he asked.

"Why do you care?" Kamui asked, his voice dull.

"Because I love you," Fuuma said patiently.

Kamui nearly choked, glad his mother had left the room. "Why?" he asked softly.

Fuuma shrugged. "I guess I really don't know. I just do. If I could explain it, wouldn't that somehow make it less important?"

"I don't know," Kamui said. He looked at the floor. "I don't know anything anymore."

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Fuuma asked.

"Too cold," Kamui said listlessly.

Fuuma sighed. "Kamui, what happened?"

Kamui's eyes flickered up to him, then back to the floor. "Nn. Nothing."

"And that's why you're so upset, right? Kamui, you know you can't fool me." Fuuma briefly remembered what the Tree had said about denial. He fought the sudden urge to give up, pin Kamui to the wall, and kiss him until he admitted he liked it.

Kamui deflated. "I just . . . it was . . . I didn't think . . ."

"Let's go sit down," Fuuma advised.

Kamui let Fuuma shuffle him up the stairs and into his room, where he flopped down onto the bed, facefirst in the pillows. Fuuma sat beside him.

"So what happened?" he asked.

"I called Subaru a selfish coward and told him I didn't know why I'd ever loved him," Kamui said, voice muffled.

Fuuma paused. "What brought that on?"

"I don't know!" Kamui burst out, sitting up. "I was just thinking about what happened before he died and how he was treating Seishirou but I didn't mean to say that, and now I can't figure out why I loved him at all and . . ." Kamui rubbed the tears off his cheeks. "I just don't want to think about it," he said miserably.

"Kamui, you loved him because he was like you," Fuuma said. "Because he understood you, he knew what it was like to lose someone, to be betrayed. You had every reason to love him."

"But in the end, he hurt me just as much as everyone else did," Kamui whispered.

Fuuma reached over and smoothed Kamui's hair. "It's over now, Kamui."

"It's not, though," Kamui said. "I thought it would be, but it all carried over. There's no getting away from it. This is how it's always going to be."

"It's not," Fuuma said fiercely. "You're just letting it be this way!"

Kamui blinked, startled. He sat up slowly. "Fuuma -- "

"Things are staying the same because we're holding onto the past," Fuuma said. "I'm as guilty of it as you are. This isn't the same life; it's different now. We all have to let go of the past; it isn't just Subaru that's making this mistake!"

Kamui just stared at him. "I'm sorry," he finally said.

Fuuma sighed. "Kamui, there's nothing to apologize for. It's natural to hang onto it; it's weird to have a past life. But we all just have to get past it."

"How?" Kamui asked.

Fuuma hesitated. "By just . . . by finding new ways to be," he finally said.

Kamui practically wilted against him, his head on Fuuma's shoulder. "I try, but it's so hard," he murmured. "I want to see Subaru be happy . . ."

"I know," Fuuma said, hugging Kamui tightly.

Kamui sighed a little, relaxing into Fuuma's embrace. "Can you stay here tonight?" he murmured. "I don't . . . want to be alone . . ."

"Of course I'll stay," Fuuma said. "Did you even have to ask?"

And Kamui managed a smile.

****

//When Kamui woke up, there was a suspicious warmth at his side. He opened his eyes slowly as his memory returned and saw Subaru next to him, his deep green eyes focused on the ceiling. For a minute Kamui panicked -- it couldn't have been real -- but their absence of clothes and the rumpled state of his bed all too clearly pointed to the reality.

"Ohayo, Subaru," he said quietly.

Subaru started a little, then sat up quickly. "Ohayo," he mumbled, and got out of bed, facing away from Kamui until he had located his underwear and crawled into it. "Do you have school today?" he asked.

"Hai," Kamui answered, watching Subaru with confused eyes as he dressed hastily, unsure of what the Sumeragi's odd behavior meant. "Will . . . will you be here when I get home?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I think so," Subaru said, pulling on his shirt and smoothing his hair back into place.

Kamui watched him as he turned to go. "Ano, Subaru, about last night . . ."

Subaru turned to look at him, but he didn't look straight in his eyes. His gaze kept sliding off to one side, as if he found something on the wall very interesting. "Yeah?"

Kamui smiled, a very shy and vulnerable smile. "Thank you. It was . . . it was really great."

It hurt to lie like that to Subaru, but he couldn't really have Subaru knowing how he really felt about what had happened, especially since Subaru so obviously regretted it himself.

And Subaru offered a smile in return, but it was a thin, breakable smile, and he still wouldn't meet Kamui's eyes. "Yeah," he finally repeated. "Thanks."

He turned and left the room.//

****

"You okay?" Fuuma's voice, soft in the darkness.

"Yeah," Kamui said, nestling a little closer into the warmth that Fuuma provided through their pajamas. "I just had a bad dream. That's all."

****

//Kamui found the note when he got home from school. It was a very short note, consisting of only a few sentences.

"Kamui, I really am sorry about this. It's not because of last night. I just don't want to be here anymore. And I have faith in you -- I know you can do this. You'll be okay. And there is someone else who loves you. Please don't think any less of me for this. I've just gone to be with Seishirou-san."

Kamui dropped the note and he ran. He ran until he couldn't run anymore, until his breath was burning at the back of his throat and his knees had gone weak and watery. And then he kept running anyway. He skidded to a halt in Ueno Park, and reached for Subaru's presence, but couldn't find it.

A sob tore out of him and he started running again, stumbling blindly through the park until he reached Subaru.

The Sumeragi's eyes were closed; he was slumped at the base of the Tree with a bloody ceremonial dagger beside him. His clothes were covered in blood, and the pool around him was slowly spreading.

"No, Subaru, no . . ." Kamui fell to his knees at Subaru's side and shook him hard. "Subaru, please don't leave me, don't leave me alone here . . . Subaru . . ."

Pause.

Silence.

"SUBARU!!"

Kamui screamed and couldn't stop screaming, they tore from his throat with such force that he could taste blood in his mouth, and he shook Subaru roughly, begging him to come back, to make this a lie, and he screamed and screamed and the Tree wrapped darkness and silence around them, sheltering them from prying eyes so Kamui could grieve in peace, and he screamed and screamed and screamed.

Finally his voice gave out and he couldn't even manage to cry. He slumped down on top of Subaru's body and waited. Eventually someone came. He was lifted up by gentle hands, cradled in someone's arms. A voice -- feminine and dulled with concern and suppressed tears -- Arashi? did he know someone named Arashi? -- was talking about formalities. Police. Informing the family.

Kamui started to cry.

Another voice, coming from above him, talking about taking him home and putting him to bed. He knew the voice. But everything was so blurry. And nothing mattered, not really. Subaru was gone and that was all that mattered, the last person left that he cared for was gone and Kamui felt another scream building up in his throat --

and abruptly, there was a brief touch on his mind that smelled like sakura, and he fell into darkness.

When he woke up again, he was home. Names and faces had returned, but the tearing grief had not subsided. He spent the day with Sorata, most of it in the monk's arms, trying not to cry.

Finally, around dawn, he sank into an exhausted sleep.

When he awoke the next morning, he was different. More resolved than ever, really. And he went to the Tree.

"Subaru . . . I'll never stop loving you. I promise."//

****

Fuuma looked over at Kamui, concerned about what Kamui could possibly dreaming about that could make him cry so much in his sleep.

****

"Neesan? I'm going to bed."

"You're awfully pale, Subaru. Are you feeling worse?"

"No. I'm just tired."

"What were you and Kamui yelling about earlier?"

"Nothing."

"Subaru, I wish you'd tell me what's wrong."

"Maybe I will tomorrow. Good night."

****

//It's a difficult decision, to take your own life. Subaru made it as he stared at the wall after Kamui had left for school. He knew how much he had hurt Kamui, even though the boy was trying his damndest not to admit it.

But it was more than that, really.

Kamui was perfect for him. He had seen what Subaru was, deep down inside, and accepted it. More than that -- he loved Subaru for himself, which was certainly more than Seishirou had ever done. And Kamui was sweet, kind, pretty, devoted . . .

Perfect in every way.

And Subaru could not bring himself to love him in return.

No matter how hard he tried, how much he thought about Kamui and how lovely the boy was, both inside and out, how perfect they were for each other, how happy Kamui could make him, how happy Kamui wanted to make him . . .

All he could ever muster was a dull sort of affection.

It seemed Seishirou still owned him, body, mind, and soul.

And now, on top of everything else, he had betrayed that bond.

So he wrote Kamui a note, an apology, and walked to Ueno Park. It was still an hour before Kamui would be home -- plenty of time. More than enough, really.

::What are you doing?::

Subaru stopped at the base of the Tree and glared up at it defiantly. ::Giving you one last meal,:: he replied, his voice bitter.

There was an outpouring of panic and disorganized fear as the Tree realized what he had planned, but it only had time for two words -- ::Sumeragi, don't -- ::

And Subaru took the dagger and slashed it up the inside of his arm.

::Damn it, don't! You don't know what you're doing!::

"Yes, I do," Subaru spat, and made the cut up his other arm before his hands could go numb.

And then he slumped down to lie among the sakura petals, blood dripping from his fingers as he held them above his face, looking at them in a horrified satisfaction.

::DON'T!::

But the Tree had no one else to turn to, no one it could call for help. So it watched as its last Master's blood slowly seeped out of his body.

Subaru dropped the dagger, staring up through the leaves. Petals were raining gently on his face.

He was very cold.

He hadn't really imagined death, but he'd thought, perhaps, his sister would come for him.

Very cold, and very pale, fading out.

"Hokuto . . .?"

He reached up to the light above him.

"Seishirou-san . . .?"

Voice barely a whisper, a thin sound that didn't carry more than an inch away from his face. But still no one came. He was so cold, and completely alone.

"Anyone?"

But there was no one, and Sumeragi Subaru's eyes slid shut, closing out the light.//

****

Dawn found Subaru sitting downstairs in his bathrobe, sipping hot tea, unable to keep warm no matter how thick the blanket wrapped around him was. He was shivering uncontrollably, and had been for the last hour, ever since waking up from a dream.

****

//they dream of death, most of the time, of blood and sakura, of betrayal and pain. their dreams of the few happy times are shadowed by the losses they experienced. none of them can remember what it was like to be happy, or if indeed they ever were happy in their lives.

they dream of death, because it is better than the alternative.//

****

Well, that was.... cheerful and uplifting. ::sighs:: Feedback? Please? Before I depress myself to death?