I succumb to you. Here it is. Chapter 5. Now, first, a couple of things to
my reviewers:
Arwen:
Alright! Alright! pretends to be very scared indeed & shivers at the
thought of Gimli & an Orc combined Here is more! & I know it's pointless &
plotless, but then, fanfiction is pointless too because you can't
officially publish it.
Marauder:
Terribly sorry about Frodo, but..Frodo insulted Legolas, so.what can you
do? & also.Aragorn? Hot? I'll stick with Legolas, thanks. I will give you
that he's a LITTLE cute. Just a little, mind you, but..whatever.
Candycane loves Legalous:
glad you like it. & here I am, keeping it up!
Sirius's Crazy Chick:
Aragorn is dirty & is 46 in real life. Legolas is hot & clean & is 26 in
real life. sticks tongue back out
Raberba girl:
You're welcome. Glad you think it's funny. And I think it's dominoes.
princessjess3:
Yeah, here's more. & Thanks.
Here, as I said before, is..the Fellowship with wands! Beware!
Scene: All teachers but Snape & Dumbledore (they're dead, remember), the 3 kids (I really hope you all know whom I'm talking about), and the Fellowship, minus the hobbits (they died too) They have inexplicably gotten wands from somewhere though only Gandalf and Legolas can do magical stuff. Legolas can because he's an elf.
McGonagall: Because you did, so, ah, because of how you did on broomsticks, we have decided to try and teach you to cast spells. No-
Gandalf: But I already know how.
McGonagall: Too bad. Detention!
Gandalf: What's that?
Sprout: whispers something in Gandalf's ear
Gandalf: What? But.I'm GANDALF! I'm immortal! I'm a wizard! An old man! I can't get in trouble!
Legolas: Uh, Gandalf? You just DID get in trouble!
Gimli: Yeah, but why are we listening to them anyway? You (meaning Legolas) are 2, 931 years old, Gandalf's 7000 something, Aragorn's a kin-
Aragorn: Not yet! cries because he wants to be king
Gimli: Ok, you're GOING to be king, Boromir, well,
Boromir: glares meaningfully at him
Gimli: Boromir is a very important man and an excellent fighter, and I am a dwarf of considerable age and status.
Moody: You're listening to us because you're in OUR world, not piddle-earth or whatever you call it.
Boromir: MIDDLE-earth!
Lupin: Can we continue here?
Yes, yes, yes I KNOW that Moody & Lupin didn't teach together, are no longer there, etc etc, but I don't care.
Legolas: I don't know.you annoy me. I might shoot you.
Lupin: I wouldn't do that. I'm a werewolf.
Legolas: I don't care if you are a gaur (werewolf in elfish) or not.
Lupin: You will when I turn into one!
Legolas: Oh, Auta miqula orqu (go kiss an Orc)
Lupin: huh?
Aragorn: You don't wanna know.
Lupin: Oh, yes I-
Binns: OK! EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M TIRED OF THIS! I'M DEAD YET I BELIEVE I COULD STILL DIE FROM ALL THIS!
Myrtle: has arrived What about me? I'm de-catches sight of Legolas er, available! And I'm ALWAYS on the look out for a nice hottie! AND I'm sexy, even though I'm dead, though I'm NOTHING compared to YOU! bats eyes at Legolas Legolas: Dolle naa lost. Kel. Amin feuya ten' lle (your head is empty. go away. you disgust me)
Aragorn: That wasn't nice!
Legolas: It's true!
Aragorn: Yeah, well..that's not the point!
McGonagall: Can we PLEASE continue?!
Boromir: What if we don't want to?
Moody: Once you learn enough, you won't BELIEVE the stuff you'll be able to do to other people!
Sam: Like turn people into stuff?
Moody: with an evil look in his eye Yeah.
Sam: But Gandalf already knows how to do that!
Gandalf: I do?
Sam: Duh! 'member when I WASN'T droppin any eaves but you thought I was and I said 'don't turn me into anythin. unnatural' and you said 'no, perhaps not. I have a better use for you', so you CAN!
Gandalf: That's right! I can!
Suddenly, all of the teachers draw their wands.
Hagrid: (up until this point the author has forgotten him and will now put him in the room because it is convient) ALRIGHT! EVERYBODY SHUT UP OR YOU'LL ALL GET TURNED INTO SOMETHING UGLY!
Legolas: But I don't wanna be a dwarf!
Gimli: Grr..
McGonagall: Now, the first thing you are going to learn is to make a match turn into a needle.
Legolas: What's a match?
Pippin: What if we don't want to?
McGonagall: This is a match. holds up a match It's used to light fires. And whether you want to or not is not the point, you are going to if you want to learn magic.
Aragorn: We'll be good!
Frodo: What do YOU care?
Aragorn: I can impress Arwen when we get home.
Myrtle: A girl fell for you?! No!
Aragorn: Yes! cries
Legolas: There, there, Aragorn, it'll be alright.
All but him and Aragorn from the Fellowship stare in amazement.
Merry: Uhh..Legolas? Why are yo-
Legolas: Shh! whispering It'll keep him quiet!
All in the Fellowship but Legolas & Aragorn: Aah.
McGonagall sets them to turning matches into needles, with, aah, interesting? results.
Gandalf: does it correctly, but with his staff so it grows to about 3 meters
Aragorn: blasts the desk apart and falls down crying Mommy! Arwen!
Boromir: turns it into a needle the same size as a sword, so takes an extra sword hilt that he inexplicably has with him and makes a new sword Yay! I'm gonna name it Bob!
Gimli: sets his beard on fire
Frodo: takes out the Ring and uses it on the match, but rather than turning into a needle it turns into the Eye of Sauron, which is, for some reason, ignored by all
Pippin: turns it into..lembas, but after he eats it his hair catches on fire
Merry: rather than waste a good match and turn it into a needle, he pulls out some weed and begins to smoke & do a Bilbo impression Owld Towby. The faanest weed in the South Faahthin.
Sam: decides he doesn't want a match, so turns it into a giant 'tater Hey, Mr. Frodo? Do you have a camera with you? I want a picture so I can show Gollum.
Frodo: Dude, Sam! Can't you tell I'm dealing with the Great Eye over here? Geez!
Sam: Sorry! cries
Legolas: thinks for a moment, then turns it into a brush Who needs needles? I need to brush my hair! proceeds to do so
McGonagall: No, no, no! What are we going to do with them?
Binns: I'd hate to see what they'd do to History of Magic or Charms. Let's try potions.
Sam: We get to cook! YES! Do we get taters? Can we eat it? How long will we have it for? When do we start? Will there be enough for fifths? How about elevenses? Will it be hard? W-
Hagrid: knocks him unconscious Whoops! looks away, 'innocently' My bad!
This is now 7 pages, though you can't tell, so I think I will leave it at that for now..so..cya!
Here, as I said before, is..the Fellowship with wands! Beware!
Scene: All teachers but Snape & Dumbledore (they're dead, remember), the 3 kids (I really hope you all know whom I'm talking about), and the Fellowship, minus the hobbits (they died too) They have inexplicably gotten wands from somewhere though only Gandalf and Legolas can do magical stuff. Legolas can because he's an elf.
McGonagall: Because you did, so, ah, because of how you did on broomsticks, we have decided to try and teach you to cast spells. No-
Gandalf: But I already know how.
McGonagall: Too bad. Detention!
Gandalf: What's that?
Sprout: whispers something in Gandalf's ear
Gandalf: What? But.I'm GANDALF! I'm immortal! I'm a wizard! An old man! I can't get in trouble!
Legolas: Uh, Gandalf? You just DID get in trouble!
Gimli: Yeah, but why are we listening to them anyway? You (meaning Legolas) are 2, 931 years old, Gandalf's 7000 something, Aragorn's a kin-
Aragorn: Not yet! cries because he wants to be king
Gimli: Ok, you're GOING to be king, Boromir, well,
Boromir: glares meaningfully at him
Gimli: Boromir is a very important man and an excellent fighter, and I am a dwarf of considerable age and status.
Moody: You're listening to us because you're in OUR world, not piddle-earth or whatever you call it.
Boromir: MIDDLE-earth!
Lupin: Can we continue here?
Yes, yes, yes I KNOW that Moody & Lupin didn't teach together, are no longer there, etc etc, but I don't care.
Legolas: I don't know.you annoy me. I might shoot you.
Lupin: I wouldn't do that. I'm a werewolf.
Legolas: I don't care if you are a gaur (werewolf in elfish) or not.
Lupin: You will when I turn into one!
Legolas: Oh, Auta miqula orqu (go kiss an Orc)
Lupin: huh?
Aragorn: You don't wanna know.
Lupin: Oh, yes I-
Binns: OK! EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M TIRED OF THIS! I'M DEAD YET I BELIEVE I COULD STILL DIE FROM ALL THIS!
Myrtle: has arrived What about me? I'm de-catches sight of Legolas er, available! And I'm ALWAYS on the look out for a nice hottie! AND I'm sexy, even though I'm dead, though I'm NOTHING compared to YOU! bats eyes at Legolas Legolas: Dolle naa lost. Kel. Amin feuya ten' lle (your head is empty. go away. you disgust me)
Aragorn: That wasn't nice!
Legolas: It's true!
Aragorn: Yeah, well..that's not the point!
McGonagall: Can we PLEASE continue?!
Boromir: What if we don't want to?
Moody: Once you learn enough, you won't BELIEVE the stuff you'll be able to do to other people!
Sam: Like turn people into stuff?
Moody: with an evil look in his eye Yeah.
Sam: But Gandalf already knows how to do that!
Gandalf: I do?
Sam: Duh! 'member when I WASN'T droppin any eaves but you thought I was and I said 'don't turn me into anythin. unnatural' and you said 'no, perhaps not. I have a better use for you', so you CAN!
Gandalf: That's right! I can!
Suddenly, all of the teachers draw their wands.
Hagrid: (up until this point the author has forgotten him and will now put him in the room because it is convient) ALRIGHT! EVERYBODY SHUT UP OR YOU'LL ALL GET TURNED INTO SOMETHING UGLY!
Legolas: But I don't wanna be a dwarf!
Gimli: Grr..
McGonagall: Now, the first thing you are going to learn is to make a match turn into a needle.
Legolas: What's a match?
Pippin: What if we don't want to?
McGonagall: This is a match. holds up a match It's used to light fires. And whether you want to or not is not the point, you are going to if you want to learn magic.
Aragorn: We'll be good!
Frodo: What do YOU care?
Aragorn: I can impress Arwen when we get home.
Myrtle: A girl fell for you?! No!
Aragorn: Yes! cries
Legolas: There, there, Aragorn, it'll be alright.
All but him and Aragorn from the Fellowship stare in amazement.
Merry: Uhh..Legolas? Why are yo-
Legolas: Shh! whispering It'll keep him quiet!
All in the Fellowship but Legolas & Aragorn: Aah.
McGonagall sets them to turning matches into needles, with, aah, interesting? results.
Gandalf: does it correctly, but with his staff so it grows to about 3 meters
Aragorn: blasts the desk apart and falls down crying Mommy! Arwen!
Boromir: turns it into a needle the same size as a sword, so takes an extra sword hilt that he inexplicably has with him and makes a new sword Yay! I'm gonna name it Bob!
Gimli: sets his beard on fire
Frodo: takes out the Ring and uses it on the match, but rather than turning into a needle it turns into the Eye of Sauron, which is, for some reason, ignored by all
Pippin: turns it into..lembas, but after he eats it his hair catches on fire
Merry: rather than waste a good match and turn it into a needle, he pulls out some weed and begins to smoke & do a Bilbo impression Owld Towby. The faanest weed in the South Faahthin.
Sam: decides he doesn't want a match, so turns it into a giant 'tater Hey, Mr. Frodo? Do you have a camera with you? I want a picture so I can show Gollum.
Frodo: Dude, Sam! Can't you tell I'm dealing with the Great Eye over here? Geez!
Sam: Sorry! cries
Legolas: thinks for a moment, then turns it into a brush Who needs needles? I need to brush my hair! proceeds to do so
McGonagall: No, no, no! What are we going to do with them?
Binns: I'd hate to see what they'd do to History of Magic or Charms. Let's try potions.
Sam: We get to cook! YES! Do we get taters? Can we eat it? How long will we have it for? When do we start? Will there be enough for fifths? How about elevenses? Will it be hard? W-
Hagrid: knocks him unconscious Whoops! looks away, 'innocently' My bad!
This is now 7 pages, though you can't tell, so I think I will leave it at that for now..so..cya!