Chapter 2
Ash blinked as the little white cottontail rabbit wiggled its nose and took a few short hops forward.
"So this is the ferocious, wild animal they've got guarding this thing," he muttered. " God, these guys wouldn't know terror if it bit them in the ass- "
Suddenly, the rabbit locked him in a piercing stare and its mouth slowly opened to reveal a set of long, sharp fangs. It hissed loudly at him.
Ash's eyes widened and he unsteadily rose to his feet, trying to wriggle his arms free. The rabbit edged up closer to him.
Without warning, it leaped in the air and landed on top of him, attempting to sink its teeth into his neck. Ash cried out in pain and shut his eyes tightly, rolling about on the ground in an attempt to dislodge the rabbit from his shoulder.
"AHH!! Get off me, you insane little bastard!!" he yelled.
Outside the knights waited, getting an earful of his struggle. Arthur stood waiting with a stoic look on his face, hoping that the killer beast, which had once been their enemy, would vanquish the troublemaker once and for all.
"Go on!! Tear him a new arse!!" Zoot finally yelled.
Arthur and the knights turned to face her with wide-eyed expressions.
"Er...um..." she blushed.
Ash opened his eyes, only to find that the rabbit had retreated, though it was still hissing at him menacingly. There was no way it could be finished with him.
"Genetic engineering gone horribly wrong..." Ash remarked dryly.
It leaped up toward him when Ash, thinking quickly, turned his back toward the rabbit with his arms thrust out in back of him. The little rodent missed its mark, and instead tore through the ropes which bound him, setting Ash free.
He quickly reached for his chainsaw, which had fallen to the ground when the knights initially dropped him in the cave. He shoved the stub of his left hand into the housing he had built for the chainsaw. Pulling the chain, the saw burst to life.
"HA HA!!" he yelled at the creature, his eyes lit up and a huge grin on his face. "You're going down!!"
As the rabbit leaped toward him, Ash held the chainsaw out in front of him.
"Oh, shit..." it squeaked in a tiny voice. Blood splattered up into Ash's face as the rabbit was messily dismembered.
*******************************************
Outside, Arthur and the knights heard the roar of the chainsaw.
"What's all that noise?" Arthur asked, suddenly a bit worried that the rabbit might be in danger.
"Er...perhaps he encountered a wolf or a bear?" Galahad offered.
"Oh, great," Robin said with a tone of impending doom as he wet himself.
"Hmm..." Bedevere mused. "Perhaps the strange one's bodily humors became imbalanced, and he changed himself into some sort of animal-like form?"
Arthur looked back at him and furrowed his brow in confusion.
"You've got to be kidding."
Bedevere fixed him with a glare.
"Well, whatever is going on in there...he better not make it out alive. My love toy's death must be avenged," Zoot huffed.
Galahad faced her with another hurtful expression, which Zoot pointedly ignored.
Suddenly, all became quiet. The group directed their attention to the mouth of the cave and a panting Ash staggered out, his face bloodied. They all looked at him with wide eyes.
He marched right up to Arthur and fixed him with an angry stare. Finally he looked down, pointing to the armour covering Arthur's arms.
"You know, the silver spraypaint on your knitted wool jammies is beginning to flake off," he remarked.
Arthur looked down at his arms for a moment as Ash punched him in the face. Arthur tumbled to the ground as the knights and Zoot eyed Ash fearfully. Trembling, they all stepped back from him as Arthur struggled his feet.
"Alright... who wants some?? Huh??" he panted, pointing an accusing finger at them.
The knights stood trembling, staring wide-eyed at him. Zoot clung to Galahad fearfully, and just for a moment Galahad rolled his eyes at her.
Ash spotted Robin shaking just a bit more than the others, his knees knocking and his teeth chattering. A grin spread across Ash's face as he walked up to him.
"You!" he pointed to Robin. Robin's eyes bugged out in terror.
"You want some? Huh??" Ash said in a creepy, condescending tone.
Robin shook his head forcefully. Ash was about to slug him when Robin messed himself again. Ash wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"You know, Kaopectate works wonders," he sneered.
Robin furrowed his brow in confusion as the other knights began slowly backing away from him.
"Alright, now listen up, you primitive screwheads!" Ash raised his voice.
Arthur and the knights stared at him.
Ash lowered his voice slightly. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I've had one hell of a time...it took my girlfriend, it got into me, and now it brought me here. On top of all that, I was nearly dismembered by that screwy little rodent. I haven't had a good day."
The knights looked at one another.
"But the next time one of you monkeys even TOUCHES me..." he shouted.
Suddenly, he was cut off as a huge, green cartoon monster came to life from the mouth of the cave and made its way toward them, roaring menacingly. And this time the animator had had a pacemaker put in, so waiting for the awful thing to vanish into thin air simply wouldn't work. Arthur and his knights became panicky.
Ash grabbed at the large shotgun at his side and quickly fired three rounds at the Black Beast of Arrrrrgggh.
"Aggggghhhhh!!!" the animator screamed as the bullets pierced him. He slumped down on his drawing board, and the cartoon peril vanished. Ash furrowed his brow in confusion.
Arthur and the knights cheered, as the beast had finally been vanquished. Ash twirled his gun in the air and set it back in his holster.
"What skill! You certainly know how to work that strange bow-and-arrow you've got there!" Arthur exclaimed, impressed.
Ash narrowed his eyes and nodded.
"Now...let's talk about how I get home," he said boldly.
****************
Chapter 3 coming soon!
Ash blinked as the little white cottontail rabbit wiggled its nose and took a few short hops forward.
"So this is the ferocious, wild animal they've got guarding this thing," he muttered. " God, these guys wouldn't know terror if it bit them in the ass- "
Suddenly, the rabbit locked him in a piercing stare and its mouth slowly opened to reveal a set of long, sharp fangs. It hissed loudly at him.
Ash's eyes widened and he unsteadily rose to his feet, trying to wriggle his arms free. The rabbit edged up closer to him.
Without warning, it leaped in the air and landed on top of him, attempting to sink its teeth into his neck. Ash cried out in pain and shut his eyes tightly, rolling about on the ground in an attempt to dislodge the rabbit from his shoulder.
"AHH!! Get off me, you insane little bastard!!" he yelled.
Outside the knights waited, getting an earful of his struggle. Arthur stood waiting with a stoic look on his face, hoping that the killer beast, which had once been their enemy, would vanquish the troublemaker once and for all.
"Go on!! Tear him a new arse!!" Zoot finally yelled.
Arthur and the knights turned to face her with wide-eyed expressions.
"Er...um..." she blushed.
Ash opened his eyes, only to find that the rabbit had retreated, though it was still hissing at him menacingly. There was no way it could be finished with him.
"Genetic engineering gone horribly wrong..." Ash remarked dryly.
It leaped up toward him when Ash, thinking quickly, turned his back toward the rabbit with his arms thrust out in back of him. The little rodent missed its mark, and instead tore through the ropes which bound him, setting Ash free.
He quickly reached for his chainsaw, which had fallen to the ground when the knights initially dropped him in the cave. He shoved the stub of his left hand into the housing he had built for the chainsaw. Pulling the chain, the saw burst to life.
"HA HA!!" he yelled at the creature, his eyes lit up and a huge grin on his face. "You're going down!!"
As the rabbit leaped toward him, Ash held the chainsaw out in front of him.
"Oh, shit..." it squeaked in a tiny voice. Blood splattered up into Ash's face as the rabbit was messily dismembered.
*******************************************
Outside, Arthur and the knights heard the roar of the chainsaw.
"What's all that noise?" Arthur asked, suddenly a bit worried that the rabbit might be in danger.
"Er...perhaps he encountered a wolf or a bear?" Galahad offered.
"Oh, great," Robin said with a tone of impending doom as he wet himself.
"Hmm..." Bedevere mused. "Perhaps the strange one's bodily humors became imbalanced, and he changed himself into some sort of animal-like form?"
Arthur looked back at him and furrowed his brow in confusion.
"You've got to be kidding."
Bedevere fixed him with a glare.
"Well, whatever is going on in there...he better not make it out alive. My love toy's death must be avenged," Zoot huffed.
Galahad faced her with another hurtful expression, which Zoot pointedly ignored.
Suddenly, all became quiet. The group directed their attention to the mouth of the cave and a panting Ash staggered out, his face bloodied. They all looked at him with wide eyes.
He marched right up to Arthur and fixed him with an angry stare. Finally he looked down, pointing to the armour covering Arthur's arms.
"You know, the silver spraypaint on your knitted wool jammies is beginning to flake off," he remarked.
Arthur looked down at his arms for a moment as Ash punched him in the face. Arthur tumbled to the ground as the knights and Zoot eyed Ash fearfully. Trembling, they all stepped back from him as Arthur struggled his feet.
"Alright... who wants some?? Huh??" he panted, pointing an accusing finger at them.
The knights stood trembling, staring wide-eyed at him. Zoot clung to Galahad fearfully, and just for a moment Galahad rolled his eyes at her.
Ash spotted Robin shaking just a bit more than the others, his knees knocking and his teeth chattering. A grin spread across Ash's face as he walked up to him.
"You!" he pointed to Robin. Robin's eyes bugged out in terror.
"You want some? Huh??" Ash said in a creepy, condescending tone.
Robin shook his head forcefully. Ash was about to slug him when Robin messed himself again. Ash wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"You know, Kaopectate works wonders," he sneered.
Robin furrowed his brow in confusion as the other knights began slowly backing away from him.
"Alright, now listen up, you primitive screwheads!" Ash raised his voice.
Arthur and the knights stared at him.
Ash lowered his voice slightly. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I've had one hell of a time...it took my girlfriend, it got into me, and now it brought me here. On top of all that, I was nearly dismembered by that screwy little rodent. I haven't had a good day."
The knights looked at one another.
"But the next time one of you monkeys even TOUCHES me..." he shouted.
Suddenly, he was cut off as a huge, green cartoon monster came to life from the mouth of the cave and made its way toward them, roaring menacingly. And this time the animator had had a pacemaker put in, so waiting for the awful thing to vanish into thin air simply wouldn't work. Arthur and his knights became panicky.
Ash grabbed at the large shotgun at his side and quickly fired three rounds at the Black Beast of Arrrrrgggh.
"Aggggghhhhh!!!" the animator screamed as the bullets pierced him. He slumped down on his drawing board, and the cartoon peril vanished. Ash furrowed his brow in confusion.
Arthur and the knights cheered, as the beast had finally been vanquished. Ash twirled his gun in the air and set it back in his holster.
"What skill! You certainly know how to work that strange bow-and-arrow you've got there!" Arthur exclaimed, impressed.
Ash narrowed his eyes and nodded.
"Now...let's talk about how I get home," he said boldly.
****************
Chapter 3 coming soon!