Title: Without You Part Five

All other disclaimers & information are in the first part

Enjoy!

**************

March 15, 2002

Scully's Apartment

7:00 p.m.

A loud knock echoes through the apartment and I reluctantly get up out of my chair. It has been the first time in awhile where I've been able to relax without running to the bathroom every five minutes.

Upon opening the door I find myself face to face with my mother.

"Dana, I hope this isn't a bad time," she says looking into my dimly lit apartment.

"No, I was just resting. Come on in," I tell her opening the door. "What brings you to this part of the neighborhood, Mom?"

"I just wanted to check up on you since I haven't been able to contact you lately."

"I've been busy," I say quickly...too quickly.

"Dana, you know that I'm always here for you," she says motherly.

"Yeah, Mom, I know."

I walk deeper into my apartment and turn on a lamp--the first light that has been turned on in this apartment since Mulder died. You know I was actually getting used to the darkness. It brought a side in myself that I never knew that I had. A side where I could sit in the dark, numbly thinking of nothing in particular.

My mom follows me into the kitchen as I offer her something to drink. As I get her a glass of ice water she has found herself over by my refrigerator where an ultrasound picture hangs.

"Dana how did your doctor's appointment go?" my mom inquires.

I turn away from the glass of ice water and watch her as she studies the ultrasound picture. The first picture of her grandchildren.

"You know Dana, if I didn't know any better it looks as though there are two babies," she says, naively.

Silence passes between us. I used to hate silence, but during the years of working with Mulder some of the best things that were ever said to one another were during the silence. One look could communicate so many thoughts and ideas that any series of words could never fully describe.

"Dana?" my mom asks, again, startling me.

"Hmm?"

"What did you doctor say?"

"He said that I'm going to have...twins," I whisper.

Tears start to trickle down my face and I don't even realize that I'm crying until my mom comes and wipes one of the tears away. These God-damn hormones have already kicked in and I've still got another seven months.

Seven months that I should be spending with Mulder. When will I be able to think of one event in my life and not think of the should's or the would's, but rather just savoring the moment? Maybe it is all part of the healing process. All part of moving on.

My mom pulls me into an embrace and starts to cry with me. She too is afraid for me. Afraid for the lives of my two children--afraid that I will be hurt again by death...maybe by one of their deaths.

March 30, 2002

X-Files Office

9:03 a.m.

Thirty-three minutes.

I run into the office late. It's not that we keep office hours or anything, but I hate being late, especially being a female agent in a profession where men greatly outnumber the women and nothing is equal.

Doggett isn't anywhere to be seen. Great. I nearly break my neck trying to get here and he isn't even here. I walk into the office and head over to my usual corner. But today I feel strongly drawn to the wall near my...Mulder's desk.

Staring at the 'I WANT TO BELIEVE' poster brings a sort of calmness over me. Slowly I place my hand onto my already expanding abdomen. At nearly three months along my waistline has already started to expand. I guess with this being the second pregnancy along with twins I'm bound to start showing. But barely anyone else in the Bureau knows. Skinner knows, as well as Doggett, but I have done my part by discreetly hiding my tiny bulge under dark clothes and long blazers.

Footsteps echo along the corridor outside the office. I continue to stare at the poster on the wall already knowing the footsteps are Doggett's. As he reaches the door I turn around quickly and greet him.

"Agent Scully how're you feeling today?" he inquires.

"I'm fine Agent Doggett," I assure him.

I turn back to my desk and sit down starting to shuffle through the files.

"You're late, Agent Scully," he finally says breaking the silence.

"If I recall, Agent Doggett you came in the door after I did," I counter.

"Actually, I've been here since seven this morning going over a case that Skinner has dropped into my lap. I just stepped out to get some coffee."

Doggett stares at me intently for a moment. I hate that when he tries to figure out how I'm feeling or if I'm going to make it through the day.

"What was the case about?" I question becoming curious.

"It's not important because I told A.D. Skinner that I didn't think that we should take it," he says looking up from what he was reading at his desk.

I shake my head, frustrated, that he is trying to protect me. "Agent Doggett, if you haven't forgotten pregnancy is not a disease it is just a condition and as far as I'm concerned and as far as my doctor's concerned I can still work."

The look on his face shows more. It has something to do with the past something to do with the life that I once had with Mulder. He's trying to protect me emotionally.

"It's not that Agent Scully--" he pauses.

"--Well then what is it about?" I interrupt.

He hesitates, knowing that he shouldn't tell me.

"Agent Doggett, I won't break. This is my job, what is the case about?"

"A young couple claims to have given birth to a baby that is not human--a child that is much like what William was," Doggett finally says.

TO BE CONTINUED

More to come! Stay tuned!