Title: Without You Part Ten
All other information in part one.
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Of all of the things that I have ever felt in my life from the meeting of a perfect soul mate to the birth of my son I have never felt this kind of anticipation. Or this kind of fear of what is on the other side of the door. I stare at the wooden plank, placing my hand reassuringly on my bulging stomach. These kids might actually have a chance to meet their father.
For years I often wondered where I'd be in ten, fifteen years and I sure didn't think that I'd standing here in front of a hospital door wondering what exactly was on the other side.
I've been close before, but never as bad as this. Sure Mulder's been shot, faked his own death, abducted, and returned from the dead, but never has he ever been mysteriously found on the side of the road after I witnessed them place his body into the ground next to William's.
What does this mean for us? What does this mean for our family?
All those answers lie on the other side of this door.
I take a deep breath and place my hand on the cool metal of the door knob. Slowly, I open the door.
At first it appears that the room is empty and my heart sinks. All of this for nothing...for a bed that is empty, but I take one step into the room.
On the bed furthest away from the door lays a body. Beeping from the machines beat methodically monitoring his heart beat. A heart that shouldn't be beating. A heart that should still be six feet under, but of all the things that we've ever seen together the one thing that I could never truly was believe just how lucky this man was. He's faced death way too many times for comfort.
Tears form immediately in my eyes as I get closer to him. The well defined features that I missed touching. Pouty lips that I can still remember the taste of and the lanky figure of a man that I have loved for nearly ten years. A man that for all accounts shouldn't even be laying in this bed.
I can't believe it. Laying my eyes on him. I don't want to blink for fear that he'll disappear.
"Mulder," I hoarsely whisper, my voice catching in my throat as I try and fight back tears.
He doesn't respond of course. His deep hazel eyes are covered by his lids, sleeping peacefully in a drug induced coma. How many times did that intense gaze make my breath catch in my throat? I need to see those eyes, that gaze that caught me, and I have to know why.
I take a seat next to his bed. Taking my too familiar bedside vigil. His hands are ice cold and try and warm them.
Then the reality hits me full force. Feeling his hands, looking at his peaceful face starts to nag at the back of mind that this isn't a dream. Mulder is alive. I can feel him, I can see him.
The months of pain and loss start to come back. Tears flow down my cheeks slowly at first and then I find myself in a full fledged crying session. Sobs racking my body, whimpering for the life that we had and wondering what the hell is going on. Who the hell did we put in the ground? And where's my son, our son?
My answers are never answered as I place my head down in defeat, holding on to Mulder's hand with a death grip. I can't let him go for fear of a dream. But deep down I know that it can't be a dream. It would be a cruel joke from fate.
Somewhere along the way I started to drift off. Floating through the blackness of a world that I once knew.
"Scully, what are you doing here? Actually, I was just getting dressed to come and see you, but I couldn't find a tie to go with my victory cap."
I try to smile, "Mulder no work," I say removing his cap. "You have to go back to bed."
"I was coming down to work to tell you that Albert Hosteen is dead. He died last night in New Mexico. He'd been in a coma for two weeks. There was no way he could have been in your apartment."
I shake my head insisting that we had prayed together.
"Mulder, I don't believe that. I don't believe it. It's impossible."
Mulder shakes his head at my skepticism -- always the same.
"Is it any more impossible than what you saw in Africa? Or what you saw in me?"
I break our gaze -- looking down, nervously. "I don't know what to believe anymore. I was so determined to find a cure, to save you, that I could not deny what it was that I saw. And now, I don't know what the truth is. I don't know who to listen to, I don't know who to trust," I say struggling to hold back my tears.
Mulder pulls me in for a deep embrace.
"Scully, I was like you once. I didn't know who to trust. And I chose another path, another life, another fate, where I found my sister. And even though my world was unrecognizable and upside down there was one thing that remained the same."
He pulls back, cupping my face in his hands staring at me intently.
"You were my friend and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant...my touchstone," he tells me softly.
"...And you were mine," I reply through my tears.
"Scully?" a hoarse voice whispers through the darkness.
At first my world is hazy, but as I come into focus I see him, trying to open his eyes. Whispering my name. He knows that I'm here.
I gently run his forehead reassuringly, coaxing him to open his hazel orbs. He tries again and this time a grin comes over his face.
"Mulder, can you hear me?"
"This has to be a dream," he whispers.
I shake my head, starting to tear up. Moving towards his forehead I place a kiss on the top and we stare at one another for a long time.
"Its not..." I say stopping short of all that I've been through in the past four months, and the questions that I have.
Silence passes between us. Sometimes the best things that we have ever said to one another was said without a single word. We stare at one another intently.
Mulder closes his eyes in pain, straining to remember...
"What is it, Mulder?"
"They came to take us..."
"Who came?" I ask knowing of the answer.
"Aliens," he whispers, closing his eyes trying to bring more memories to the surface.
Again the silence passes between us. I need to ask him about our son, I need to know what happened.
"Mulder, what about William?" I inquire through the tears.
Mulder's eyes burst open, a dazed, confused looks runs across his eyes followed by that of anger, and worry.
"We have to find him," Mulder says the intensity returning for the first time since he was searching for his sister. Now this quest is one that involves us both, our son, and the lives of our future children.
"Mulder, I miss him so much," I tell him breaking down in tears.
"I know," he says pulling me in for a long embrace after planting a kiss on my lips.
"We have to find him."
"I will go to the ends of the earth to bring him back to you...and to us."
Holding onto one another it almost felt like old times, except this time our child was at stake as well as the fact that there is too much to even begin to explain how and why Mulder is alive. Too much to comprehend now, but under it all relief that Mulder's back in my life and my son is still alive...alive, but in grave danger.
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TO BE CONTINUED
More to come!
Stay tuned R&R
