Part 6: Buffy
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I remember fire. Surrounding me like a blanket, flames caressing me like a lover. Like Angel. No, Angel left me. He's gone. I'm alone. Only fire, fire looking to devour me. So much fire. I can still feel it on my skin, so much pain. I hear myself screaming.
"Buffy?" A voice. Not my own, not my voice screaming. Another voice.
Angel?
"Buffy, can you hear me?" Again that voice. Wonderful, silky, my dark lover's touch. Angel? How can he be here? This has to be a dream. Nothing but a dream.
I remember the rain on my face as I escaped from the fire. Cold ground, darkness welcoming me in its embrace. I am still there, that has to be it. This is but a dream, I'm longing for the arms of him who left me. He's not here. He doesn't want me anymore. Just a dream.
Not a dream, dummy, someone whispers into my ears. Who is that?
"Buffy!" The other voice again. Angel?
Angel, the whispers agree. Where do they come from?
More voices. I know some of them, I think. Xander? Giles? Everything is so blurry. Someone is arguing. Spike? What is Spike doing here?
He is harmless, the whispers tell me. The behavior modification chip in his head won't let him hurt anyone. Poor sucker.
This is getting too strange for me. Angel's voice. Someone whispering to me. What is going on here? Where did the flames go? I remember the explosions, the pain. Why am I still alive after so much pain?
"Buffy!"
My eyes snap open of their own volition and I see his face right in front of me. His face. He's here. It's not a dream.
Angel!
"She's awake, I think," Angel says to someone I can not see.
"Angel?" I have to know. Is this just a dream after all? Is he really here?
He is here! The whispers again. Who is whispering to me?
"I am here, Buffy," he says, his voice so wonderfully smooth and soothing. Did I forget how good his voice sounded? It's been just a few weeks since I saw him, hasn't it? In Los Angeles? Thanksgiving? Just a few minutes, but I saw him.
Not just a few minutes!
"How are you feeling Buffy?" Another voice, making me forget the whispers. Giles? He leans over me, looking at me, his aged eyes so full of caring and worry.
I finally manage to take a look around. I'm in Giles' apartment, his bedroom. Lying in Giles' bed, the covers tugged up to my chin. Angel is there, sitting right next to the bed. He's holding my hand in his, his wonderfully cool flesh pressed against mine. Giles is there as well, a steaming cup of tea in his hand. Voices from outside. Xander? Willow? Spike?
"What happened?" I ask them, my voice sounding so hollow and weak. Why can't I remember anything except the flames? What did they do to me?
"Buffy!" Willow comes into the room, rushing to the side of the bed across from Angel, clutching my other hand. "Are you all right?"
I am confused. Am I all right? I have no idea. Feel like my brains been wrapped up in cotton.
"What happened?" I ask them again. I need to know.
"We, we hoped you could tell us that, Buffy," Giles says. I can't look at him. My eyes are riveted to Angel, who is looking at me with that special look he always had. Like I'm the only thing in the world to him. Parker never looked at me like that. And Riley ... Riley?
"Willow told us you were in Lowell House," Giles continues, "wanting to meet your, ah, your friend Riley. Then Lowell House exploded and, well, that is pretty much all we know."
Flames. So many flames. Riley's face. He was there, wasn't he?
Agent Riley Finn. Codename Lilac One, if you can believe it. Who is whispering here? Lilac One? What kind of name is that anyway?
Angel still looks at me. I think he flinched when Giles mentioned Riley, said he was my friend. Does that mean that Angel still ... does he?
"Do you remember anything of what happened in Lowell House, Buffy?" Giles inquires.
I try to remember. So many jumbled images. Fire, lots of fire. Something exploded. Pain, electricity running through me. Riley, yes. He ... did he do that? Why is my head hurting so much?
After effects of the joining process are to be expected, I guess.
"What joining process?" I mumble, only then realizing that I spoke out loud.
"Buffy?" Angel asks, worry shining in his dark orbs.
"I ... I remember talking to Riley. He ... he is one of those army guys."
"Riley?" Willow asks, disbelief in her voice. "He is one of them?"
"Yes, I ... I ran across him when we fought the Gentlemen. He, he helped me. I think." So much confusion, why can't I keep my memories straight? "He was wearing a uniform and, and he had some kind of gun that shot electricity."
Taser weapon, the whispers tell me. Used to immobilize hostile sub- terrestrials. That's their fancy name for Vampires and other demons.
"Okay, who is whispering here all the time," I yell, immediately clutching my head when my own voice sets it ringing with pain again. God, why can't this pain stop?
"Whispering?" Angel asks, his brow furrowing. I know that look. He's trying to spot the danger, sweeping the room with his super Vampire senses. Doesn't he hear this?
I would really be surprised if he could, the whispers snicker.
"Buffy?" Giles asks, looking even more worried. "How are you feeling? Maybe we should get a doctor after all."
"No, no, it's okay. I guess ... just tired. God, my head hurts."
"What happened with this ... Riley?" Angel asks, his voice carefully neutral.
I guess he still does care, don't you think?
Am I going mad?
"Well, I ... we talked after we defeated the Gentlemen. He was, well, he was surprised of how much we already knew of his operation. I didn't mention Spike, of course. He wanted to know who I was, too. He had already figured out that I'm not your average college girl. So I ... I told him I'm the Slayer."
"You did what?" Giles asks, his voice rising a bit. "Buffy, you know how essential it is that your identity as the Slayer ..."
"Giles, it's okay," I calm him down. "He already knew something was going on. And anyway, he didn't have a clue about what the Slayer is. Just gave me a blank look."
That's what you think, the whispers intervene again. I have to ignore this. Just delusions, aftereffects from the pain. If I ignore them they'll go away. I hope.
"That was ... yesterday? What day is it anyway?"
"It's Wednesday, Buffy," Angel says. "The explosion was yesterday evening."
Wednesday? "I ... well, our talk was on Sunday. Riley then called me Tuesday morning, saying he wanted to talk again. I went to Lowell House and then ..."
Fire. Pain. So much pain.
"Then?" Giles asks.
My head seems to be on fire. There is so much pain. I think I cried out or something, because suddenly Angel's cool arms are around me, holding me tightly. My face is touching his chest, I can feel his cold flesh beneath the shirt he is wearing.
"Maybe we should leave her some time to recover." Giles says, his voice growing more distant.
"I will stay here." Angel says. He said he would stay. "Try to find out some more about this operation. If this ... Riley is part of it, maybe you can find something out by looking up his files, Willow."
"I'll do my best. Buffy? Just, just rest, okay? We'll figure this out, I promise."
I can hear their footsteps receding into the distance and suddenly it's just Angel and me, alone. In a bedroom.
"Just rest, Buffy," Angel says, slowly letting go of me, lowering me back to the bed.
"Stay with me?" I ask him, my voice sounding so incredibly weak and vulnerable. What happened to me? What did this to me?
"As long as you need me." He gives me one of his patented half-smiles that makes my insides melt into a puddle of goo.
Don't you just wish we had a kitchen table around here somewhere? the whispers ask me.
"Just shut up," I whisper back even as sleep claims me, feeling safe in knowing that he's close.
TO BE CONTINUED
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I remember fire. Surrounding me like a blanket, flames caressing me like a lover. Like Angel. No, Angel left me. He's gone. I'm alone. Only fire, fire looking to devour me. So much fire. I can still feel it on my skin, so much pain. I hear myself screaming.
"Buffy?" A voice. Not my own, not my voice screaming. Another voice.
Angel?
"Buffy, can you hear me?" Again that voice. Wonderful, silky, my dark lover's touch. Angel? How can he be here? This has to be a dream. Nothing but a dream.
I remember the rain on my face as I escaped from the fire. Cold ground, darkness welcoming me in its embrace. I am still there, that has to be it. This is but a dream, I'm longing for the arms of him who left me. He's not here. He doesn't want me anymore. Just a dream.
Not a dream, dummy, someone whispers into my ears. Who is that?
"Buffy!" The other voice again. Angel?
Angel, the whispers agree. Where do they come from?
More voices. I know some of them, I think. Xander? Giles? Everything is so blurry. Someone is arguing. Spike? What is Spike doing here?
He is harmless, the whispers tell me. The behavior modification chip in his head won't let him hurt anyone. Poor sucker.
This is getting too strange for me. Angel's voice. Someone whispering to me. What is going on here? Where did the flames go? I remember the explosions, the pain. Why am I still alive after so much pain?
"Buffy!"
My eyes snap open of their own volition and I see his face right in front of me. His face. He's here. It's not a dream.
Angel!
"She's awake, I think," Angel says to someone I can not see.
"Angel?" I have to know. Is this just a dream after all? Is he really here?
He is here! The whispers again. Who is whispering to me?
"I am here, Buffy," he says, his voice so wonderfully smooth and soothing. Did I forget how good his voice sounded? It's been just a few weeks since I saw him, hasn't it? In Los Angeles? Thanksgiving? Just a few minutes, but I saw him.
Not just a few minutes!
"How are you feeling Buffy?" Another voice, making me forget the whispers. Giles? He leans over me, looking at me, his aged eyes so full of caring and worry.
I finally manage to take a look around. I'm in Giles' apartment, his bedroom. Lying in Giles' bed, the covers tugged up to my chin. Angel is there, sitting right next to the bed. He's holding my hand in his, his wonderfully cool flesh pressed against mine. Giles is there as well, a steaming cup of tea in his hand. Voices from outside. Xander? Willow? Spike?
"What happened?" I ask them, my voice sounding so hollow and weak. Why can't I remember anything except the flames? What did they do to me?
"Buffy!" Willow comes into the room, rushing to the side of the bed across from Angel, clutching my other hand. "Are you all right?"
I am confused. Am I all right? I have no idea. Feel like my brains been wrapped up in cotton.
"What happened?" I ask them again. I need to know.
"We, we hoped you could tell us that, Buffy," Giles says. I can't look at him. My eyes are riveted to Angel, who is looking at me with that special look he always had. Like I'm the only thing in the world to him. Parker never looked at me like that. And Riley ... Riley?
"Willow told us you were in Lowell House," Giles continues, "wanting to meet your, ah, your friend Riley. Then Lowell House exploded and, well, that is pretty much all we know."
Flames. So many flames. Riley's face. He was there, wasn't he?
Agent Riley Finn. Codename Lilac One, if you can believe it. Who is whispering here? Lilac One? What kind of name is that anyway?
Angel still looks at me. I think he flinched when Giles mentioned Riley, said he was my friend. Does that mean that Angel still ... does he?
"Do you remember anything of what happened in Lowell House, Buffy?" Giles inquires.
I try to remember. So many jumbled images. Fire, lots of fire. Something exploded. Pain, electricity running through me. Riley, yes. He ... did he do that? Why is my head hurting so much?
After effects of the joining process are to be expected, I guess.
"What joining process?" I mumble, only then realizing that I spoke out loud.
"Buffy?" Angel asks, worry shining in his dark orbs.
"I ... I remember talking to Riley. He ... he is one of those army guys."
"Riley?" Willow asks, disbelief in her voice. "He is one of them?"
"Yes, I ... I ran across him when we fought the Gentlemen. He, he helped me. I think." So much confusion, why can't I keep my memories straight? "He was wearing a uniform and, and he had some kind of gun that shot electricity."
Taser weapon, the whispers tell me. Used to immobilize hostile sub- terrestrials. That's their fancy name for Vampires and other demons.
"Okay, who is whispering here all the time," I yell, immediately clutching my head when my own voice sets it ringing with pain again. God, why can't this pain stop?
"Whispering?" Angel asks, his brow furrowing. I know that look. He's trying to spot the danger, sweeping the room with his super Vampire senses. Doesn't he hear this?
I would really be surprised if he could, the whispers snicker.
"Buffy?" Giles asks, looking even more worried. "How are you feeling? Maybe we should get a doctor after all."
"No, no, it's okay. I guess ... just tired. God, my head hurts."
"What happened with this ... Riley?" Angel asks, his voice carefully neutral.
I guess he still does care, don't you think?
Am I going mad?
"Well, I ... we talked after we defeated the Gentlemen. He was, well, he was surprised of how much we already knew of his operation. I didn't mention Spike, of course. He wanted to know who I was, too. He had already figured out that I'm not your average college girl. So I ... I told him I'm the Slayer."
"You did what?" Giles asks, his voice rising a bit. "Buffy, you know how essential it is that your identity as the Slayer ..."
"Giles, it's okay," I calm him down. "He already knew something was going on. And anyway, he didn't have a clue about what the Slayer is. Just gave me a blank look."
That's what you think, the whispers intervene again. I have to ignore this. Just delusions, aftereffects from the pain. If I ignore them they'll go away. I hope.
"That was ... yesterday? What day is it anyway?"
"It's Wednesday, Buffy," Angel says. "The explosion was yesterday evening."
Wednesday? "I ... well, our talk was on Sunday. Riley then called me Tuesday morning, saying he wanted to talk again. I went to Lowell House and then ..."
Fire. Pain. So much pain.
"Then?" Giles asks.
My head seems to be on fire. There is so much pain. I think I cried out or something, because suddenly Angel's cool arms are around me, holding me tightly. My face is touching his chest, I can feel his cold flesh beneath the shirt he is wearing.
"Maybe we should leave her some time to recover." Giles says, his voice growing more distant.
"I will stay here." Angel says. He said he would stay. "Try to find out some more about this operation. If this ... Riley is part of it, maybe you can find something out by looking up his files, Willow."
"I'll do my best. Buffy? Just, just rest, okay? We'll figure this out, I promise."
I can hear their footsteps receding into the distance and suddenly it's just Angel and me, alone. In a bedroom.
"Just rest, Buffy," Angel says, slowly letting go of me, lowering me back to the bed.
"Stay with me?" I ask him, my voice sounding so incredibly weak and vulnerable. What happened to me? What did this to me?
"As long as you need me." He gives me one of his patented half-smiles that makes my insides melt into a puddle of goo.
Don't you just wish we had a kitchen table around here somewhere? the whispers ask me.
"Just shut up," I whisper back even as sleep claims me, feeling safe in knowing that he's close.
TO BE CONTINUED