Looking Back

The last few minutes of a life at Helm's Deep. Haldir/Legolas. Deathfic. Angst. AU. Movieverse.

Disclaimer: I own my fingers.

The rain trickled down the elf's neck making his hair and clothes cling to his skin. He held Haldir's hands tight.

"Thanks for coming," he said, simply.


Haldir nodded slowly. "Legolas, this night will be our last. It is impossible that we shall live it out. But I would rather die by your side than see the morning."

"I know."

Aragorn watched them, and said a silent farewell to Arwen in his head, envying the two who had this chance to say goodbye, to kiss for the last time and savour these moments together.

Haldir held him close as if to prolong the moment of their separation, so close, so tight that their hearts seemed to be fused together, their hearts and their mouths holding each other close, their hair entangled. They were as one for those few seconds and then they broke apart, abruptly, as though they had never known each other in any intimate fashion.

"I love you."

They said it in unison, their voices blending with the sound of the sleet, the sound of the armour against stone. Legolas forced his tears back, but they trickled over his cheeks, blending with the downpour, and Haldir never saw them.

Aragorn gently touched the elf's shoulder. "We must return to the walls, Legolas. Your place is with Gimli."

Legolas turned to meet him, his eyes huge holes in his head. "Give me a second, Aragorn. Please."

He saw Arwen in those blue eyes and stopped, his mouth opening and closing. "Quickly."

There was one hurried kiss, gentle murmurings of grief and then slowly, painfully they drew apart and Legolas went with Aragorn to the walls.

It is impossible that we shall live out the night.

"Not impossible, lad," Gimli said, reassuringly, patting the elf on the arm. "Now, keep firm and let show these Orcs that there's still people to hold against them!"

He felt the elf beside him give a little thrill of a laugh and he felt the longing for Orc blood sweep over him, like a contaminating fever. Legolas had an aim to kill; many Orcs would fall this night. He noticed how the Lothlorien elves were the first to step outside the walls of Helm's Deep, the first to surrender themselves to the dark foes that preyed outside, and he noticed how the azure eyes of Legolas often flicked to Haldir.

I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox.

It had not been said in vain, though Legolas had laughed about it later. Gimli was shrewd and well-learnt in the ways of elves. He saw the plain love in those eyes, the way his fingers gripped his bow every time Haldir came even remotely near to death, and it was often, and the will that held his body upright.

Gimli never knew what Legolas saw that caused him to cry out like that, but he remembered it to the end of his days. It was wild, primal, a horrible sound that ranged over his ears and crawled under his skin. The elf flung himself off the walls, and then Gimli saw.

Haldir.

He was struggling to his feet, blood pouring out of his mouth, but Legolas was by his side, holding him upright with a desperation never seen before in any being. Gimli saw the Orcs clustering around, waiting for the opportune moment for the death-blow.

It came so quickly, Haldir could not have felt anything, but his body crumpled in Legolas' arms and the elf wailed out a lamentation to the stars, before crumpling down with the body of his beloved in the mud.

Legolas could not feel anything without his other half, and he did not want to. His eyes were watering and they became hazy before he let the darkness take him and let himself die.