~*+*~

She sensed him long before she heard the chimes of doors. She knew his thoughts and emotions perhaps even before he knew them himself. The bond was strong, very strong. She remembered the reactions of other Betazoids when they had visited the planet several months ago. They had been totally awe struck and she had to admit, it felt great.

Ever since it became clear that she wasn't a telepath, but 'just' an empath she had felt inferior to other Betazoids. But the bond that had formed between her and Will had made them celebrities on her planet.

But now...perhaps the fear of rejection, humiliation was what prevented her to return to her home world now. Pulling herself back to reality she ordered the doors open. The uncertainty of what to do or say reflected in his face, as did the guilt, sadness and hurt. But she couldn't allow herself to feel pity for him.

"Deanna? I--uh, I..." With a tolerant and knowing look she motioned him to sit down and seated herself on the couch across the room. "I talked to Captain Picard. And I--I understand that you aren't coming with me to the Titan. But you don't have to leave." He didn't say what he had planned to, in fact he said pretty much the opposite. But as always, Deanna knew.

She stood up with the elegance of a swan and walked to a window. He wanted desperately to go to her and wrap her in his arms, smell the sweet scent of her hair. As if she knew his thought she locked her dark, luminous eyes on his. Conveying her desire and love to him. In her eyes he also saw her pain and distrust.

"I do." Her voice was barely a whisper, a faint reminder of her usually bright and cheery voice. "Everything here is a reminder to what was and could've been. On the couch you used to massage my feet after long days. The windows remind me of the long conversations we used to have about our future. You used to watch me sleeping from the chair in the bedroom."

He could hear her swallow and although she had turned her face away he knew that silent tears were falling. "And sometimes we'd fall asleep in each others arm in that chair. No matter where I go on this ship, there'll always be a memory of us, either a good one or a bad one." He replied the only way he knew and realized that he really did understand.

"RaBeem." Deanna smiled and repeated the word, knowing that he meant it. Will got up from his chair and walked towards her.

"When...are you leaving?" He tried to hide the quiver in his voice, but she noticed it and was glad to hear it, for when she spoke her voice too quivered.

"Tomorrow morning." Barely inches separated from her small body he could hardly control the urge to slide his arms around her thin waist.

"Deanna, I know I can't make up for what I've done and I've accepted that, but please let me hold you one last time." She sensed his hope, compassion, hurt, ache but most of all his love and realized that she too ached for him to wrap his arms around her and to make her forget the hurt she was feeling. Quietly she agreed and waited for him to reach out.

Cautiously he came to stand behind her, afraid she might pull away at the last minute. Slowly he slid his arms around he waist and when his hands reached each other he pulled her back against his chest. Deanna closed her eyes and emptied her mind. Will rested his chin on her head and savored the moment without thinking or rationalizing.

They stood that way for almost an hour, forgetting the hurt they were feeling or the fact that they wouldn't see each other for a long time after tomorrow. Deanna slowly turned around, making sure that she would not make him release her from his strong embrace. She was reluctant to move, miraculous enough the time spend in his arms *had* made her forget of the hurt she was feeling. But she had to.

When she looked up into his sapphire eyes a gamut of emotions overwhelmed her; two of them were very present, perhaps more than she would've liked, but as she soon realized, more than she could resist. Love and desire swept mercilessly through he when he cupped her face with his large hand.

She was still furious, sad and hurt, but right now desire overwhelmed those feelings. Knowing with absolute certainty in her heart that there would be nothing between them when she'd leave the next day she relented.

Seeing her eyes surrender themselves he slowly lowered his head to hers. He dived into the endless blackness of her eyes and gently brushed his mouth over hers. He too knew that this would be the very last time he'd be allowed to touch her like this. Delving deeper into the velvet of her mouth, his arms slid around her once again, securing her in his embrace. Softly sighing Deanna allowed him full access to her mouth and later her body and even her mind, but her heart she kept completely closed.

Her heart would be closed forever for him...and for everyone else who could hurt her like he did.

~*+*~

She awoke in his arms and for a moment didn't remember the events that lead to her position as it was. She had awoken so many times the past year like this; curled up against her Imzadi, his arms around her waist holding her close to him. But she did remember and she felt the urge to get away from him.

Deanna didn't regret that she allowed him to make love to her last night. Perhaps it was for the better they had. There had been no reason for her surrender; it had simply felt as the 'right' way to finalize their break up. Gently she extracted herself from his embrace, moving slowly taking care not to wake him up. She gathered her clothes, brushed her hair and picked up her suitcases. Standing in the doorpost of her bedroom she watched him sleeping for a few moments before turning to leave, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

~*+*~

When Riker awoke he didn't know where he was. The place looked definitely familiar, it looked a lot like Deanna's bedroom, only her personal stuff was missing...Bolting up right he suddenly remembered the nights before.

Defeated he allowed his body to fall back on the bed. They had made love last night, more than once. Each time a little different than the time before, but he had missed something, something he hadn't been able to put his finger on until after she had fallen a sleep: Deanna had kept her heart closed. That realization had been as a stab in his heart last night and he recalled how Deanna had stirred.

Fortunately she'd been too exhausted to wake up fully. She'd probably be gone by now, or would be about to. He knew he couldn't stop her, he knew he shouldn't. Crawling out he wandered across her quarters, picking up a piece of clothing every here and there until...Until his gaze fell on a piece of paper on her table. Carefully he picked it up, almost afraid it would turn into ash at his touch.

The black letters were perfect and seemed drawn instead of written. In fact if the note hadn't been Deanna's he would've sworn that the writer had spend his or her entire life just to write those two words so perfectly. Yet he knew that Deanna had written it in a matter of seconds rather than years.

"Trahyikai Imzadi." A Betazoid farewell. He knew the word had two meanings, which meaning she had meant was deliberately left in the blue. Mostly used as a greeting and farewell to loved ones that would be away for a long time. If that were the case it could be translated as 'Be safe and happy on your journey Beloved'.

The other meaning was darker, more definite. The other meaning was a farewell for loved ones that had crossed the line of life and death. How the word should be interpreted was usually made clear by the use of a tiny symbol below the 'h'. Deanna had deliberately not used either of the symbols, letting him draw his own conclusions. Quickly he dressed and left for his quarters, taking the note with him.

~*+*~

Teary eyed the two women stood across each other, both biting their lower lip to keep themselves from crying.

"Be safe and strong Deanna."

"You too Bev." Taking the final step they hugged each other fiercely. When they parted both dried their eyes.

"Oh damn it! I promised myself not to cry." Half laughing and half crying Beverly rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"As did I." Replied Deanna in much the same way. They hugged each other again before Deanna took a few steps towards the shuttle.

"Take care of each other will you?"

"Of course we will Counselor. Take care of yourself Deanna." She smiled gratefully at her Captain and looked at each of her friends for one last time before turning and stepping into the shuttle.

"I expect a message on my terminal first thing tomorrow morning Miss Troi!"

"Yes Ma'am!" Smiling she shook her head and tapped the key next to the door. Slowly it slid in place and sealed her off from the ship she had called her home for so long. Sadly and still crying she sat down at the helm and waited.

"Commander Troi," The voice of Lieutenant Trlekth sounded through the air. "You're cleared for take off." Deanna smiled at the man's preference for ancient terms. "The crew wishes you a safe trip Deanna." Fresh tears sprung in her eyes and she barely was able to response. The good bye meant a lot to her, but it also remembered that she didn't really want to leave. If only...

"Tell them not to tear the ship apart until the new counselor has arrived."

"Yes Ma'am!" Hitting the ignition button she watched as the door of Shuttle Bay 1 opened, revealing an infinity of stars. Swallowing her tears she begin to maneuver her shuttle out the bay. The sadness was tangible all around her, apart from some crew members who didn't really care about her departure, most of the crew was sad to see her leave, a few relieved. She chuckled quietly through her tears.

When she had moved the shuttle about a thousand meters away from the Enterprise she made it turn 180 degrees. The Enterprise turned as well, making both vessels 'facing' each other. "That must be a strange sight from out there."

~*+*~

"It is." Sadly the star closest to the two vessels mumbled the words. Flashing into a human form Q watched the scene before them and even he couldn't help but to quickly wipe away a single tear in the corner of his eye. For a moment he thought about reverse the time and interject, but destiny must run its course. And even the Q had no power over that.

~*+*~

From a point of view out in space the sight was indeed, as Q stated, strange. The elegant, powerful and huge looking Enterprise faced the tiny, box-like shuttle craft. Until both ships fired up their engines, creating two long lines of blue light and two much smaller ones.

What happened next startled the empath. The engines of the Enterprise seemed to blow themselves up! The blue stripes grew and bulged. Within seconds they suddenly shut down and fired up again. There seemed to be no damage and her empathy told her that the crew was all right, as if they hadn't even noticed it...or had expected it. Realizing that the 'overload' was intentional and meant as a farewell sign she smiled again.

"Geordi if you think I'm stupid enough to try that as well...you're wrong." Her technical knowledge wasn't by far good enough to duplicate the sign and thus she made the shuttle spin around instead before flying away.

~*+*~

Through the viewport in Ten-Forward Will watched the shuttle that carried his Imzadi turn and spin. He smiled when he admitted to himself that he couldn't have executed that maneuver better himself. Deanna Troi sure was someone special.

No one had ever expected her to take the step towards becoming a Bridge Officer. Although she made very valuable and useful suggestions frequently no one ever expected her to 'get the hang of things', she simply wasn't a technical minded person.

No one blamed her either, god knew he hated to have to 'upgrade' his knowledge about warp engines and plasma fields every once in a while. But eventually Deanna had taken the step and despite not being a technical person, even now, she made an excellent commander. With pride, love, sadness and guilt in his heart he watched her shuttle move away from him, he watched until the red lights at the back of its warp engines were no longer visible.

Things would never return to the way they once were between them, but some day, somewhere they'd see each other again. And he'd be waiting for that day.

~The End~

~I can make through the rain~

~I can stand up once again~

~On my own~

~And I know~

~That I'm strong enough to make it~

~And every time I feel afraid~

~I hold tight on to my faith~

~And I live~

~One more day~

~And I make it through the rain~