~*+*~

"Is it therefore my pleasure to announce that the Senate has approved the treaty and the Federation has confirmed our membership. From now on the United Federation of Planets and the Romulan Empire will form the most powerful alliance in the galaxy." Having finished her speech Toreth stepped backwards and slightly turned to nod at Deanna, who took the cue and stepped onto the speaker's platform.

"As representative of the Federation I welcome all of you into our organization and I am confident that we will learn a lot from each other." She was about to step back down to allow another member of the Romulan Senate to say a few words when a flood of malevolent emotions drew her attention. At the same time a Romulan male climbed onto the stage and yelled,

"Do not believe them! They are here to steal our knowledge! To rule us, not to befriend us!" Guards already surrounded the man, but he wasn't the real thread. There was someone else, someone far more dangerous. Ambassador Troi focused best she could, trying to block out the thoughts of the crowd to focus on those of the attacker. Some stray words finally surfaced; High-Commander, frame, Federation, resurrection, Empire and suddenly the set-up became clear to her, just as she spotted a figure on one of the roofs across the area.

She never thought about her actions or the consequences they might have, but just lunged to the side to put herself in front of Toreth and never felt the ground hit.

~*+*~

"How is she?" Before answering Beverly sat down in one of the nearby chairs and studied the two women and man present. Kyleigh was visibly upset, but managed to keep her tears at bay. Toreth's face was edged with worry, but only as much as she allowed to show. Riker's concern was perhaps even more obvious than that of the others, although he showed signs of interest and amazement as well. Mostly due to the apparent friendship between Troi and Toreth Beverly thought.

"The blast caused no major physical harm and she will recover completely."

"But?" Locking eyes with Deanna's daughter she swallowed and then continued, "but the stress has caused her illness to intensify," she paused to allow the others to digest her words, "both her legs are paralyzed." Shocked Riker could only stare at the doctor, Kyleigh on the other hand jumped to her feet and bolted into her mother's room.

"Is there no chance at recovery?" Toreth queried timidly. Crusher replied by simply shaking her head and then left to calm Kyleigh down.

~+*+~

Upon entering the Titan's bar Deanna immediately became aware of the stares people gave her. She never thought it would feel this bad and humiliating; pity and compassion radiated from the faces of total strangers, but more so penetrated her vulnerable mind. Not so long ago their looks had held admiration and often one or another form of lust/desire; which in itself could be annoying, but flattered her as well. All that had changed since she'd left Sickbay three days ago, in an anti-grav chair.

Trying to ignore the looks she received --and the emotions and thoughts accompanying them-- as best as possible she made her way to the bar. She pressed to controls of her chair to increase its height so she was sitting at eyelevel with the waiter behind it. He did a double take at her but quickly hid his surprise and confusion behind a smile. "Romulan Ale" she ordered unceremoniously.

"Same for me" Deanna turned her head slightly to have a look at the man beside her. "Isn't it a bit early for an officer to be drinking?" He too turned his head slightly and grinned. "Yep. As it is for an Admiral." He coyly raised an eyebrow and accepted the drink put in front of him. With her attention now fully turned on the young man his thoughts stumbled into her mind and within seconds she knew practically everything about him. This man was dating her daughter and he was Riker's son. She also knew why he hailed her by her Starfleet rank; he had followed some of her classes several years back at the Academy.

She raised her glass in silent acknowledgment and drank it in one gulp. The young man looked at his in admiration and disbelief before speaking again. "And then my dad told me you were a lousy drinker."

"What's your name?" she asked, deliberately disregarding his question.

"Ian, after your father."

~*+*~

In the darkness of her quarters she sat waiting until the cloud of alcohol would have lifted from her head. She still couldn't believe Riker had named his son after her father; it didn't seem something he would do. Riker was more the kind of person who would try to forget about bad memories as soon as he could. But then again, nothing she'd heard indicated that he had tried to forget about her. Quite the opposite even; he seemed to hold on to the memory.

The soft chimes of the door interrupted her silent musings and when she ordered the computer to open them Will Riker entered her sanctuary. "I got a communiqué from the Enterprise," she kept staring at him evenly, patiently waiting for him to continue yet already knowing what he was going to say. "They will meet us in two days and from what I understand, half the Fleet is coming along." He seemed to wait for her to ask something, but when she didn't he continued. "There will be held a gathering for you in the Enterprise's bar."

"Sit down Will." Riker did a double take, but sat down with out further objection. Deanna knew why he was there, now she just had to wait until he did.

"Deanna...why am I still whispering your name? Why can I see you standing next to me each night, so real I can almost touch you?" His eyes begged her to say something, to tell him she experienced similar things. But Troi remained silent, waiting for him the broach the subject on his mind.

"You should've told me," he said finally. She sensed his controlled anger, at himself, but more so at her, "you should've told me." He repeated.

"And then what?" The captain opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't think of anything and just stared at her. "I don't want to fight Will. I don't want to argue again." Instinctively he knew she wasn't making a statement; she was pleading him. But he didn't dare to look in her eyes to see if he was really right.

Deanna studied him from behind a mask of tolerance, his emotions were a strange mix of frustration, anger, disbelieve and regret and physically sickened her because never had she seen him like this. He didn't know what to do, what to say and just stood there; torn between crying, laughing and screaming. She wanted to hug him, despite the feelings she harbored inside. But when she tried to stand up she failed and could do nothing but sag back against the cushions. Silently cursing her legs and her mind for not remembering her inability to stand.

"Dea?"

A hint of color stole into her features as she replied softly "It's nothing; I just forgot I couldn't use my legs." A blast of guilt seemed to hit her squarely in the face as Riker dropped his head and took a step away from her. "Will, please." Troi stretched her hand out towards him, coaxing him to step closer again. "Talk to me."

For a moment she wasn't sure if he'd flee or stay, but then he grabbed her hand and set down next to her on the couch. "I do still love you" he whispered finally, looking at her from under his lashes.

"I know that Will. I've always know that."

"Then why—" he stopped himself, knowing he had no right to ask her that question. But after a short silence Deanna did answer. "I couldn't let myself Will. I couldn't give my heart back to a man who had already broken it twice." Riker hung his head in sad understanding and was at loss of words to say. He could understand the why, as well as the how, but there was still an amount of anger bubbling inside him. Why hadn't she told him of the consequences of a broken bond? In his opinion he had the right to know, for the bond was something they shared, something that used to belong to both of them.

"I didn't know either, not until it was too late. The symptoms first surfaced after Beverly's wedding and then came back whenever either one of us was under emotional stress. After a few years they became more and more frequently and although we knew why it happened and what the consequences would be we couldn't figure out the cause. Until three years ago. We came across an ancient Betazoid myth and it took me nearly a month to translate it. The myth described the love story between one of Betazed's daughters and her servant."

"When the servant was forced to marry another woman, the Imzadi bond between him and his mistress was broken and although he found happiness, she was doomed to live out her life alone and in pain. She died thirty years later, after having been paralyzed for ten years." Deanna bent forward to pick up her mug of tea and waited until Will had processed the information she'd given him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked after a long silence. Troi slowly shook her head from one side to the other before looking up. "Many reasons I think. I didn't want to make you feel guilty; I didn't want your compassion or pity. And I didn't want to disturb the love you'd found." A flash of anger surged through him and he was about to lash out at her for lying to him when he caught the look in her eyes.

She -was- serious. She really did want him to be happy, despite all the hurt he'd caused her. She loved him enough to not deny him his happiness. And in that moment where he looked into her soulful black eyes did he really understand how much and how thoroughly she loved him.

For nothing could make her stop loving him. Betrayal and broken promises, ignoring and fights…none of them mattered in the end. They still loved each other.

It was then that he realized he had never run the risk of loosing her love; the only risk had been loosing her trust and it was that risk he hadn't understood soon enough. "Will, don't do this." Uncomprehending he stared at her. "Don't allow yourself to feel such guilt. You don't deserve it."

"I do!" He yelled, "I do! I threw away your trust! I ruined your life; like hell I don't deserve it!" He now stared at her from across the room, not quite sure how he'd gotten there. His entire body was tense with controlled anger -this time at himself-, and guilt. "I've been a first class jerk Dea. You never deserved someone like me."

"Don't say that" she whispered, tears now falling down her face. "I wouldn't trade your love for anyone else's, it wouldn't be enough. No one will ever love me the way you used to."

"Used to? Dea, I still love you! That never changed!" The Betazoid slowly raised her dark eyes to meet his, making sure he was looking at her when she spoke her next words.

"No Will. You don't love me anymore like you used to. You love the memory and to a degree you still love me, but not the way you used to." Her voice was soft and gentle and to his horror laced with understanding.

"That's not true!" He had meant to scream at her, but only a soft whisper would leave his throat. Deanna remained looking at him, her gaze never wavering until she sensed him acknowledging her words. Riker walked back towards the dark-haired woman and leaned over her, whispering in her ear "you're wrong Deanna. My love never changed" and left her quarters.

Deanna remained staring at the doors for a long time, not sure if she'd ever see him again.

==/\==

Say you guys still want me to continue?