~*+*~

Riker's head snapped up from its resting place in his hands as the door to his quarters opened unannounced. The flow of light that penetrated the darkness temporarily blinded him and all he could distinguish was a tall, slender figure entering. When the visitor spoke however, the temper she voiced erased any questions about the identity of the intruder.

"You arrogant, self-centred BASTARD!!!" Reaching out with his right hand he hit the light controls and immediately the quarters were illuminated. Will found himself staring into the furious features of Beverly Picard. She was towering over him and her eyes shot red-hot daggers of fury at him. "She talked to you, despite the hurt he felt. She tried to be honest with you, she gave up her *life* so that *you* could be happy and you just keep walking out on her every chance you have!"

Her words provided the oxygen the fire inside him needed; he had been sheathing with fury since leaving Deanna's earlier that day but hadn't been able to vent it. Beverly just gave him a perfect reason. "I never asked her to! I never asked for any of this!"

"Like hell you didn't! If my memory serves me, *you* were the one who cheated on her. What were you thinking?!" Funny, he realized suddenly, no one had ever asked him that before. Was there simply no one who cared? Or was the motive not important enough? "I wasn't damn it! I was drunk, furious and angry! I made a mistake! Don't you think I know that? I've had to pay every day for the last twenty or so years." Vaguely Beverly saw that they were only fuelling each other's anger; neither of them having a specific point to make, but simply needing to vent.

"Oh and you're saying she didn't? Damn you Will Riker! You have no idea of the hell she's been through." Will pushed himself to his feet now so that he could look at her without stretching his neck. "Oh don't I? Well, for your information doctor, Deanna wasn't the only on who got hurt! You can't blame everything on me! She forgave me a similar mistake before, why couldn't she do it again?" Beverly's blue eyes nearly popped out her face at those words.

In utter defeat she sat herself down on the couch. For years she had been coaxing Deanna into trying to get Will back. Sure, both Deanna and Will had slept with other people and been involved in more intense relationships, but the chemistry between them never disappeared and in fact only became more and more obvious. She always believed they suited each other, even after they broke up...but now? How could he say those words? And worse...how could he believe them? The words she wanted to yell at him were stuck in her throat, not able to pass the knot of anger that had formed there. It's a good thing I'm not holding a knife or phaser, she thought to herself.

"I cannot believe you just said that." The softness of her voice startled him out his anger and he looked at her closely again, to his surprise the anger had left her eyes and was replaced by hurt. She noticed the quizzical look that settled in his eyes and answered before thinking. "Yes I'm sad. What do you expect? I'll loose my best friend before the end of the year. And here you are telling me you don't care how she feels when you sleep with another woman the last night before you were meant to complete a rare and sacred bond. How can you?"

He couldn't stand the defeat in her voice, it melted away any believe he'd had in his words and it made him sick of his own words. He had loved Deanna so intensely for so long he had spend the better part of his life running away from it, scared to death of this beautiful, diminutive creature that had captured his soul, that had given him a far greater responsibility than he had been ready to take on; she had given him herself, without reserve and it had send him running away as fast as he could.

"How is she?" He whispered eventually. "She's hurt Will, and scared." Damn it! He hated it when people could make him feel like a total jerk with just a few words. Beverly placed her hand over his and waited until he was looking straight into her eyes. "Talk to her Will. She needs you." He watched her leave, dumbfounded by her words. Deanna *needed* him? Everyone kept pointing out how he had destroyed her life and she *needed* him? He kept staring at the door of his cabin for a long time, trying to figure out what had to be done.

~*+*~

With anxious eyes he scanned the Ten-Forward lounge, looking for Deanna among the dozens of guests. The dinner held aboard the Enterprise had ended just ten minutes ago and people were reminiscing across the room, mostly about careers and mutual friends.

After Deanna had bidden everyone farewell she had retreated to her quarters, promising to return later in the evening. It had been two days since Beverly's outburst in his quarters, and so far he hadn't talked to either woman. In his mind he had worked through every thinkable scenario of what would happen if he should follow Beverly's advice, but still he had an uneasy feeling about talking to Deanna.

A had settling on his shoulder startled him out of his worries. He spun around and came to stand face to face with the woman he'd been looking for. Before he could say anything Alynna Necheyev stepped around Troi and held out her hand to him. "It's good to see you again captain."

"Likewise ma'am," he responded hesitantly, unsure how to call her since she had retired five years ago.

"Admiral," Excusing herself Deanna turned her anti-grav chair around to face the man calling her, "congratulations on the treaty." With a happy smile on his face Jean-Luc walked up to her. "Jean-Luc!" she hissed, "it's ambassador."

"Sorry Deanna, but this is a Starfleet gathering, admiral will have to do." She shot him a half-hearted glare, but didn't press the subject any further; aware of Picard's determination to show Riker what she had accomplished for he knew Will wasn't aware of her rank. "Admiral?" Troi's shoulders slumped as she heard the all too familiar voice of Will Riker.

"Of course captain, don't tell me you didn't know." The glare that Jean-Luc received this time came from the heart. "I didn't. Dea?"

"Yes, six years and no it's not in my personnel file anymore because I had it classified when taking on an ambassador's post." Will blinked at her words, surprised how quickly she'd answered the questions he hadn't even asked yet. "She doesn't waste a minute, does she?" Jean-Luc smirked at him and then turned to leave and mingle among the other guests.

"You're an admiral? How?" Taking him by the arm, Troi guided Riker to a quiet corner in Ten-Forward. In the corner of her eyes she could see Kyleigh and Ian sitting together at a nearby table, oblivious to the people around them. "You must know about the new position in High Command they created ten years ago." She felt him sort through his memories and patiently waited until he knew what she was talking about. "You mean the advisor's post?"

"Yes, Jean-Luc offered it to me, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to spend more time with Kyleigh when she was going to school." Riker nodded absently. "Kyleigh? I thought your daughter's name was Felisia?"

Damn it, she chided herself, he's going to guess. "Kyleigh Felisia Troi actually." She held her breath as she waited for his reaction, a part of her hoping he would lay the link, but another part hoping he wouldn't. "Kyleigh after her father?" Deanna almost screamed of frustration, he still believed she was married! Despite everything she'd told him. Suddenly she didn't care anymore, she had always left the choice to Kyleigh herself to tell Will he was her father, but she no longer cared if he knew or not. She looked past Riker and watched the interplay between Kyleigh and Ian; they were rapidly falling in love, much the same way she and Will had forty years earlier.

"Ian isn't your son, is he?" Her abrupt change of subject threw him off balance and he answered before realizing so. "Not biologically, no. Serah was already pregnant when I met her."

"I name Kyleigh after her grandfather." Again her abrupt change of subject threw him off balance and before he could recover she ordered her chair to take her back among the guests.

"After her grandfather?" Riker murmured to himself.

~Yes Will, Kyle.~

Riker's had snapped up in surprise at hearing her voice whisper through his mind again. Only after he'd revelled in the sense of her, he understood her words and went after her. Without as much as an apologetic smile he yanked her away from the admiral she was talking to and made her turn around to face him.

"Are you telling me that--"

"Kyleigh is your daughter?" She finished for him. "Yes." The serene mask she wore seemed surreal in a way and for a second stopped the thoughts in his head from spinning.

As she turned back to the officer talking to her she kept half her mind on the emotions coursing through Will Riker. After the initial disbelief and confusion, he soon became angered and –proud? His thoughts tumbled through her mind, allowing her to predict his reaction and brace herself. A strong hand grabbed her elbow and yanked her around, blue eyes blazing fire at her.

"We need to talk." He surprised her by not walking away to brood before confronting her, he had changed indeed. In response she nodded mutely and followed him out, bracing herself for the rage boiling inside him.

Once inside his quarters she positioned herself between him and the door, determined to work everything out before it would be too late. He'd dragged her in to talk, and now she wouldn't let him out until she'd told him everything. Troi crossed her arms and regarded him solemnly, waiting patiently for him to snap.

"My *daughter* and you didn't find it necessary to tell me that!" "DAMN IT DEANNA, ANSWER ME" He yelled when she remained silent.

"I did," she said quietly, "but I couldn't." A strange sensation suddenly overwhelmed Riker; it felt as if someone was literally sucking the anger out his heart. To his utter amazement her face radiated intense fury for just the fraction of a second.

"Pretty impressive, isn't it?" Deanna smiled half-heartedly and allowed him a few seconds to absorb her words before continuing. "Before you say anything, please hear me out Will." She waited until she picked up his acknowledgement and then spoke again. "She's known about you all her life Will, it has always been her choice whether or not to go to you. I couldn't make that choice for her, or for myself."

Whatever she had done to him, it worked. He couldn't feel anything but the need to know about her life. And so he asked.

~*+*~

Reluctantly Kyleigh opened her eyes and waited for her vision to return to normal. Her unfamiliar surroundings startled her into flying upright in bed. "Hey, hey, relax!" Her eyes snapped to the far corner which seemed to be the origin of the male voice.

"Why am I here?" She absently noticed how raw her voice sounded, but at this moment she really didn't care.

"You fell asleep on the couch last night; I didn't have the heart to wake you so I carried you to the bed." Ian stepped from the darkness and sat down next to her. After asking her for permission with his eyes he gently brushed his lips over here; causing her heart to flutter. Oh god, she though to herself, I'm falling head of heals in love with him. "Don't move." He whispered and disappeared into the living area only to return a minute later with breakfast. Before he allowed her to eat however, he first demanded a kiss and Kyleigh was happy to comply.