~*+*~

Riker strutted through the corridors with such a pace that officers made sure not to be in his way. He and Deanna had talked for hours on end the previous night and he hadn't lost his temper once, but now the injustice he felt over being kept unaware of his daughter overwhelmed him. Twenty-one years and he knew nothing about her. For years he had dreamed about a family with Deanna and now he realized he had come even closer to that goal than he had believed.

He found himself standing outside the Enterprise's sickbay and without much thought he charged inside, looking for the familiar red colour of Beverly's hair. "Will!" She came up from behind him, grabbed his arm and dragged him into her office. "Have you talked to her?"

"Oh, I've talked to her already," he answered sarcastically, "Tell me Beverly, just when did she tell you about Kyleigh?" The lack of surprise in the doctor's reaction told him Deanna had already contacted her. Her face fell in sadness.

"Two months after she'd left." She became lost in memory again, as happened many times these days. "She was hysterical; she didn't know what to do; whether or not to contact you immediately. She didn't want you to feel obliged to return to her when she could never bring herself to love you again."

"Still, she should've told me."

"She almost had. The message that explained everything was ready to be send when the news of your marriage reached her and just when she'd overcome the shock of that, Ian was born. She didn't tell you out of revenge and later to protect herself. Her motives changed over the years, until she decided to give Kyleigh the choice."

It all made sense, not that he would ever acknowledge that out loud, everything Deanna and Beverly had said made sense and it all came down to him being the biggest jerk alive. He needed to work through his anger or he would explode. Without saying another word he hurried out of sickbay and to the holodeck, skimming through the database for any of Worf's programs.

~*+*~

When Kyleigh came home after having spend another night with Ian she found her mother sitting in her favourite chair; the anti-grav chair was nowhere in sight. "Good morning Mom."

~Good morning yourself~ Troi returned and smiled up at her daughter. ~Had a nice time last night?~ Kyleigh blushed slightly and settled down on the couch, facing her mother. "Oh yes. I know it sounds weird, but I feel like I've known him all my life, like we're connected." Deanna smiled knowingly, for she could sense the early stages of a psychic bond forming between her daughter and Riker's son. The only problem was that Kyleigh didn't know Ian was very much Will's, even though that was not so genetically.

~It doesn't sound strange at all Liz. As long as you remember not to be scared too easily~ Her mysterious advice surprised Kyleigh a little, but she didn't question, knowing her mother had usually a reason for whatever she was saying. Deanna reached to a box standing next to her chair and held it out to Kyleigh. ~When you get back home, give this to your grandmother~ she thoughtcast as Kyleigh accepted the box. ~No go and get you boyfriend, your Uncle and father~ Thrown off her balance by the seriousness that her mother suddenly radiated she docilely complied.

Kyeigh had left just second when Beverly entered with a new set of medication for Deanna. "Dea?" She question, when the Betazoid didn't take the medicine held out to her.

"I'm not going to take it Bev." Worry, more than anything else, pored from the doctor as she sat down. "Dea?" As response Troi stretched out her left arm, showing Beverly the spasms that surged through the limb. "That's been happening on and off for three days now." When the redhead reached into her pocket for a tricorder, Troi stopped her with a simple gesture. "It's no use. We both know what's happening."

"What are you saying?"

"I don't want to fight my own body and mind. I'm not going to."

"You can't mean--" She recalled a conversation they had had years ago, when Deanna had told her about a Betazoid ritual which could literally shut a person's mind down. As if going to sleep, but without a chance of ever waking again.

"I can't do this Bev! I can feel, -hear- the compassion and pity of people everywhere I go! I'm supposed to be able to control my own mind, but I *can't*! I'm loosing my sense of individuality, along with my control, I just can't handle it." It then struck Beverly that she'd always assumed Deanna was up to her new abilities mentally, just as everyone else had. Like her friend had done her entire life she'd put up a strong front, determined not to let anyone see how she really felt.

"You're scared." She observed, for the first time knowing the truth in her words, rather than knowing them from a doctor's point of view.

"Very much so." Deanna replied with a shaky voice. "The others will be here soon. I just wanted you to know before..." Beverly nodded solemnly, her mind reeling with memories, questions and objections. "I know," Troi whispered, "I'm sorry I can't hang on. Keep an eye on Kyleigh for me; she never really got along with my mother."

The doctor managed the smile a sad smile as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'll miss you" she whispered and threw her arms around Deanna's neck. ~Thank you for everything you've done for me. I'll miss you too~

The sound of the door opening drew their attention and Beverly slowly released Deanna. If you're sure there is no other way she tried to think to her friend and to her utter amazement she replied ~I am, I wish it were different, but I really can't~

"What's going on here?" Jean-Luc walked around to face his wife, who locked eyes with her patient. "Kyleigh, come here please." The young woman stepped forward, her anxiety almost palpable. "Mom?"

~I want you to listen Flower, and listen carefully~ With a slow nod she promised to do so. ~Always remember how much I love you Little One~ The feeling of dread inside Kyleigh was growing, what was her mother doing?! ~There are three boxes in my closet. Two for them have your name on them, the third one is for Jean-Luc and Beverly.~

~Mom? Why are you telling me this?! What's wrong?~ But Troi didn't answer, apart from sending her daughter such a strong wave of love and pride that she gasped.

"Thank you for being here." She said aloud, trying to block out the waves of confusion and concern radiating from her friends. "I-uh..." she took a deep breath, trying to speak around the lump that had formed in her throat "I wanted to say good bye...face to face, I guess." A nervous laugh bumbled from her gut. Kyleigh was the first to realize what Deanna meant, all the carefully stealthy conversations Deanna had engineered the past weeks came together in the young woman's mind.

"Mom! NO! How can you?!" She raced out of the room, at that moment so angry at her mother she couldn't bear looking at her. Ian raced after her, partially happy for an opportunity to escape the room in which silence hung above their heads like a cloud of poison.

"What are you talking about Deanna?"

But she did answer him, not right away. Instead she turned to Jena-Luc, who had protectively wrapped his arms around his wife. Her tears had already wetted his uniform. "Jean-Luc," He looked at his former ship's counselor, trying hard not to show the emotions raging inside him. "Thank you for taking me into your family." He closed his eyes stiffly, desperately fighting the tears her words invoked. He could hardly belief how grateful she sounded, and that for something that had been completely normal -at least in his eyes.

"You've always been family Deanna." And for his words she rewarded him with a brilliant smile. ~Take care of you wife Jean-Luc; she'll need you --*Captain*~ Former captain Picard found himself in a strange sensation, laughing and crying at the same time for so many different reasons that he wasn't sure what he was thinking.

Deanna then locked her eyes with her best friend, deliberately not saying anything, knowing that if she did tears would flow freely and with a vengeance. ~Tell the kids to remember Aunt D's rules~

"You're rules?" She queered incredulously, for the moment forgotten her sadness.

"Sorry Bev," Deanna replied cheerfully, "need-to-know basis only" and gave in to the temptation of sticking out her tongue which drew a smirk from both Beverly and Jean-Luc.

Deanna then moved her attention completely to Will Riker, who stood mocking at the side of the room like a lost sheep unwilling to return to the herd. "Will, I'm really sorry, but I just couldn't deal with it." That such an admission was a big one to make for Deanna Troi didn't cross his mind as he replied. "You never gave me to chance to get to know my daughter Deanna! How do you think *I* feel about that!"

"I know exactly how you feel and what you're thinking. You can still get to know her, but only if she lets you." Her big black eyes were pleading him to understand, but all Will could see was disdain. He was angry and -damn it- he wanted to stay that way! Every time, just when he thought she'd told him everything it appeared he had been wrong. His gut told him something bad was about to happen. Something everyone knew about, except for him. I should be accustomed to that by now, he thought sarcastically.

~Will, for once, be a man and suck it up~ although her voice held no malice whatsoever she did surprise him into silence. ~You're not the only one who's angry --or hurt. It will be all right one day Will. Time heels itself, haven't you noticed?~

Would it really be all right one day? He hoped so with whole his heart. But if everything would be all right, then why was she crying? What was more disturbing to captain Riker, was the tiny teardrop that -almost- unnoticed, dropped from his former CO's right eye.

~*+*~

"What's going on Liz?" For a reason he couldn't explain, Ian could tell just how distressed the beauty at his side was. Although her face was set in nothing but cold determination he thought she was breaking down on the inside. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around her but was afraid that might coax her to withdraw even further from him.

~Go ahead~ A gentle voice urged him, penetrating his mind in a totally non-intruding way; much to his surprise. Without questioning the advice he pulled Kyleigh against him and almost immediately she released her first harsh sob.

"She's go-oing to -- kill her-self!" He could only hold on tighter, no matter how bad he wanted to be able to do more. "How-how can she do tha-that...to me?! How can s-she --give up?!" At loss of words he held her while she cried until her cries had turned into sobs and her sobs in soft hick-ups. She wiped the trails her tears had made of with her sleeves before he could do it for her, but before she had completed composing herself, Deanna Troi hovered into the holodeck.

"Ian, would you give us a minute?" He nodded mutely, still feeling uncomfortably inadequate. ~No one could've calmed her the way you did, she trusts you~ His head jerked slightly as he know recognized the voice as Kyleigh's mother's and the hurried out the holodeck.

~Your room on Betazed~ Deanna stated matter-of-factly as she took in her surroundings. ~It's yours now, you know~ she added.

~Of course, my room has always been mine~ Troi smiled bemusedly, pleased her daughter at least talked to her.

~I meant the Fifth House~

"I don't want the damn Fifth House! I want YOU!" Kyleigh threw herself into her mother's arms, basking in the warmth and love she sensed. ~Oh my little Flower. You know how much I love you, you know I would do anything for you. But in four months I'll be nothing more than a mind captivated within it's body~ She lightly kissed her daughter's hair, trying to comfort her best she could. ~I cannot live like that, I think you can understand that~

"I do" she sobbed, "but I don't want to!"

~I can't be a mother to you when I'm catatonic. I want you to life your *own* life, not become my nurse. You're strong enough to make it on your own now and you'll always have you family to fall back on if things get too rough~

"Hmm...the Fleet Admiral." Both women laughed through their tears. ~Kyleigh? Don't be afraid to get to know your father. He's a good man and he doesn't deserve to be blamed~ A long silence settled between them as she thoughtcast those words. The anger Kyleigh felt towards Will was still too strong for her to work through.

"Are you ever going to tell me how you made that Rhi'yat?"

"Nosy as ever aren't you?"

"It's in my genes." Kyleigh grinned back. ~The recipe is in one of the boxes~

~Mom?~ her tone was quite suddenly serious, startling Deanna out her playful mood. ~Yes?~

~Why won't you wait until we get back home? Grandma would want to see you one last time~

~I know~ Deanna swallowed harshly and was unable to hide her sadness from her daughter. Despite all the disagreements she and Lwaxana had had, despite their different characters and goals she loved her mother almost as much as her mother loved her. But the ceremony she was about to initiate was too dangerous for full telepaths. For that reason, more than any other, the ceremony was traditionally attended solely by the person executing it; far away from telepaths. And knowing how difficult it had already become for her to keep her sanity protected by mental blocks Deanna didn't think she'd be able to complete the ceremony by the time they'd reached Betazed; which would take at least two months.

There simply was no other way. ~But I can't stretch it any longer. I'm exhausted Little One~ she finally admitted.

~Hariey'uja Zia~

"I'll miss you forever Mom." She repeated in Standard.

~Ila As'tRao telal, amha'oq~ Deanna Troi send all the love that flourished inside her to her daughter, almost literally wrapping her in a thick, soft blanket of parent-love. "I believe in you" she whispered and then mentally called Beverly to come inside and bring with her the rest of the family. The time for final goodbyes had come.

~Don't cry out loud~

~Just keep it inside~

~And learn how to hide your feelings~

~Fly high and proud~

~And if you should fall~

~Remember you almost had it all~