This is my first EVER fan fiction.
Don't sue! I own nothing in retrospect of the show I mean. J There is more to come. Please Comment. And if you want to download the song in the this first chapter, its by…(Alison Krauss - I can let go now) I don't own the song either. Thank you for taking the time to read this. OH one more thing if you know how I change the song lyrics to italics please someone let me know. Thanks J
*****
"GET OUT!" She screamed! She had had enough, of his bullshit. She was not going to live under his conditions anymore!
"WHAT?! I knew it!" Fred hissed. "You'd choose Bosco over your own Family, your own husband!"
"Get the fuck out before I call the cops! I'm not choosing Bosco over you! I'm choosing, my sanity over you! I'm not going to watch you drink anymore, threaten me anymore, or fight with you anymore." Her yelling got more intense. "IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL BEFORE YOU WALK BACK THROUGH THAT DOOR. She screamed as she threw his clothes into a few paper grocery sacks, with some personal belongings and shoved them at him.
Fred stared at her. "Why are you doing this!" Fred growled. Then he decided to try a different approach and changed his tone… "I love you, Hon". Forcing a fake smile.
Faith glared at him, anger building, her blood boiling. "If you loved me, you wouldn't of just, told me to fucking quit my job! That we're moving and that's that! You wouldn't of told me, I can never see Bosco again! Bosco is my best friend! If you loved me… You wouldn't drink a case of beers every night! If you loved me you wouldn't embarrass me in front of -HELL everyone".
Fred was hurt, he felt tears threaten, He loved Faith he really did, but they were fighting all the time, he couldn't stop drinking, and he hated the fact that Bosco spent 8 hours a day alone with HIS wife. "But what about the kids… You'd put the kids through this? That shows what kinda mother you are!" Fred started calmly but quickly started Yelling at her again.
She stared at him. "Fred, Emily and Charlie do not deserve to live this way either! You think I'm not thinking about the welfare of the kids, you're wrong! Emily even told me the other day, She wished we would get divorced because she and Charlie are tired of lying in there room at night, listening to me get yelled at by there drunken Father, every single fucking night!!! Things are not going to get better between us! We got married too young. The only thing good that every came out of this marriage, are in their beds, probably with Pillows covering there ears. So leave! Just leave, don't come back either! I'm tired of this, I can't handle it anymore. I want to divorce." Faith finished out of breathe, panting.
He paused, absorbing everything that Faith had just said. It made him sad, but part of him knew she was right. "I do love you, but maybe you're right. But… Faith, before I step out that door, I want to think about if for a minute, and make sure that's what you want…" Fred paused, he had quickly sobered up, when they started fighting, He fought back tears, "…because Faith, if I walk out that door, I will never return. And I will fight you in court to get Full custody of the Emily and Charlie."
"Fred…" Faith started softly, slowly, and choosing her words carefully. "I don't need anymore time to think about it. I've thought about it for months now. Its not like I walked in tonight, we got in a fight, and I just decided, Oh lets get a divorce. I know in my heart, we'd never be happy together, we both deserve a chance to find happiness, and no matter what, we're not going to find it with each other. The kids don't deserve to have two people, so unhappy together, staying together, fighting, and your drinking… Its wrong Fred. I'm sorry I *was* in love with you once." Faith's disposition changed again, "But you will have to fight me in court for custody of the kids!" She increased her voice. Shoving him the rest of his bags and belongings. "I'll pack the rest of your stuff up, when you have a permanent address, let me know and we're figure out how to get the rest of you stuff to you."
"You're a bitch!" Fred yelled, fueled by his anger. "I knew you we're fucking that loser Bosco!"
Faith rolled her eyes. "That's what it always comes back to. You yell and scream about Bosco, grow up, This has NOTHING in the world to do with him, and all to do with us--------Excuse me there is no more *us*. This is about you and me, and the fact that we can't and aren't going to live under the same roof anymore!" She was shaking, she wanted him gone, so she could break down and cry.
"Ok… Faith…" He said defeated. "How are you going to tell the kids…?" He asked with only the tiniest bit of compassion…
"I'll tell them tomorrow… I'm taking the day off, I'll tell them then." She said, desperately trying to stop her shaking.
"Ok Faith, but please don't make them hate me." Fred said, tears threatening to fall.
"They would never hate you, and I would never ever try to turn them against you." Faith said, soothingly… She didn't know this was going to be quite this hard, or that Fred would react the way he was reacting. But regardless… It was time they parted, they couldn't go on together. She didn't want to wake up 40 years from now, next to this man, who although she loved him because he was the father of her children, She wasn't in love with, and would never be… Not again, not ever. She smiled, one tear passed the guard and slide down her cheek. "Damn it" she said inaudibly under her breathe, As more tears threatened to fall.
"Well ok Faith, at least we can end this without fighting." Fred walked over and took her hand and lifted it to his lips, and kissed it softly. "Goodbye Faith, you're right, things could never go back to the way they were the first few years."
"Good bye, Fred", she blinked back tears. She watched him, turn with his bags in hand, and walk towards the Emily and Charlie's bedroom, he glanced in and saw Emily first, she was curled up in a ball with her headset on full blast, he walked over to her, sat on the edge of her bed, and took her headphones off gently. He kissed her forehead and said quietly "I'm sorry Emily," she mumbled in her sleep. He watched her for a few minutes and got up and walked over Charlie. Charlie was fast asleep, his hands secured a pillow placed over both ears. He repositioned the pillow, and kissed his forehead, "I'm sorry Charlie, this is for the best though… You won't need to sleep with a pillow tucked around your ears, every again, at least not because of me and your mother. I love you Charlie", He whispered.
"umm…Tell the kids… I love them, and I'll talk to them in a few days. When I've found a place to stay." Fred turned the knob of the door he had slammed so many times, he left the apartment, where his life as he knew it was gone. He wiped a single tear, and kept walking.
*****
He was gone, Fred was really gone. She slumped to her knees, in the middle of the living room, trying hard to control her sobs. She was crying, well crying is a understatement she was sobbing on the floor, curled into a ball. Suddenly she hear a song that was playing on the radio, the radio she had turned on in a attempt to cover their yelling at each other earlier, and shook as the words, sunk in…
It was so right
It was so wrong
Almost at the same time
The pain and ache
A heart can take
No one really knows
But When the memories cling
And take you there
'Til you no longer care
You can let go now
She had thought long and hard about the decision, just like she had told Fred. Faith had made the decision alone, Bosco didn't even know what was going on. In fact she had been very quiet and distant from him the last few days. Why do I always push him away when I need him the most, she wondered, thinking about her Best friend.
It's not right for me
To cling to you
Somehow I just needed time
From what was to be
It's not like me
To hold somebody down
But I was tossed high by love
Almost never came down
Only to land here
Where no love is found
And I'm no longer bound
I can let go now
She slowly regained control, walked to the hall closet and took out a warm blanket. Maybe I should call Bosco, she thought only briefly, then remembered him bragging earlier about going to some new bar with Davis tonight. I'm sure he's *busy*, with some leggy gorgeous blond, Faith sighed. Looking at the clock as she walked back to the couch, its 1:30 in the morning. Although she didn't doubt, if she needed him, or if he even thought she needed him, he'd rush right over. She didn't want to bother him.
I can let go now
She laid on the couch crying. She cried for the love she had many, many years ago, when her and Fred first got married, she cried for the thought that she now had to break the news to the kids, she cried tears of all emotions, deep down she was relieved though, the fighting would stop. She cried at the thought of sleeping in the empty bed, although Faith had stopped allowing Fred to get intimate with her months ago, when she first started to realize, maybe they can't work it out this time, that things will NEVER change.
I can let go now
She laid on the couch, watching each minute creep by, she sat there, listening to sappy love songs and sad songs on the radio, which made her cry even harder, but she did not turn it off. She felt the weight of the world had just been put onto her shoulders and that scared her. Finally around 4:35 sleep finally overtook her, she was exhausted both physically and mentally.
I can let go now…
*****
Faith awoke the next morning, at 7am, she got up silently, trying not to disturb her sleeping children. She looks around for Fred, and remembered he was gone, and would not be coming back. That is what she wanted, she was without a doubt, but all the same, it still saddened her, they had shared a lot of memories here, both good and bad, she didn't want to live in that apartment any longer then she had too.
She walked to the bathroom, her eyes were puffy, from crying, her next was sore from sleeping on the couch, and she was so tired, less the 3 hours of sleep last night was not enough. She splashed water on her face and sighed. She shut the bathroom door, and started the shower, she striped off her gray NYPD t-shirt and her jogging pants and hopped in the shower. She stood there letting the hot water pound on her body, trying to figure out how exactly she would tell her children what happen last night. "Maybe I should call Bosco…" She pondered, "he could help me, he could help me figure out something, I need support right now…" not caring she was talking to herself. "No… I'm alone now I have to start thinking for myself, and turning for support. I can do this alone." She smiled at the fact that she was alone in the shower alone, and talking to herself.
*****
"Sweethearts", Faith called into Charlie and Em's bedroom. "Time to get up."
"MOM its 8:30! I was suppose to be to school a hour ago!" Emily whined.
"Emily…" Faith started, starting to wonder if she should of called Bosco, "You and Charlie aren't going to school today, I have some stuff to talk to you guys about… Pretty serious stuff. Then after wards why don't we go see that new Disney movie coming out?"
"Yippee! No school and a movie!" cheered Charlie, who had quickly woken up at the revelation of no school.
"Mom, what's wrong! I know something's wrong, is something wrong with Dad!" Emily cried in a panicky tone.
Faith sighed, there was really no proper place to tell them, or no proper time. So now was as good as ever. "Emily…" She said with a assuring smile, as she tried to figure out the words to say to her children, that sat in from of her with wide eyes. "…Charlie, every night when I get home from work, me and your dad, fight, its been like that for a long time. A very long time. I've been thinking for the last few months about if we're going to be able to pull the marriage back together. But lately I've realized its not going to happen. Me and your father love you guys very, very much, but we don't love each other that *way*, anymore. And its not fair to you guys, you guys should have 2 parents that live apart and are happy, rather then 2 parents that live together, and fight every night…, we got married to young, way too young, 17 actually… and started a family too young, I was only 18 when I had you Emily, and we just can't work things out, things change…" She paused letting what she said sink in. "so the best thing for everyone is if me and your father get divorced.". Faith finished, on the verge of tears.
Tears rolled down, Emily's cheeks. "Mom… I know it's the right thing, because all you do is fight, but… I still can't stop crying."
"Shhh… Its ok to cry Em…" Faith said holding both her Children tightly.
"Are we ever going to see Dad?" Charlie said in a sob.
"Of course! Charlie, Emily, you guys still have both of us, we are just no longer going to be sad every night and fight."
"Who will we live with?" Emily asked calmly and no longer crying.
"Well guys, For a few days, you may stay at Grammas. Because I have a lot to do… I'm going to fine us a new place to live." I'm going to have find a attorney, she added mentally. "After that, I'm not sure. If your father has a permanent place to live by then. We will switch off, He'll have you for the week, since I start my shift when you guys get home from school, and I'll have you on the weekends. But I haven't really talked to him much about all the details."
"Oh," Emily sighed "ok Mom" She gave her mother a half smile.
"Charlie, you ok?" She asked rubbing his back gently.
"Ya Mom. I'm ok, I love you." he whined.
"I love both of you, who knew you Emily at 12 and you Charlie at 8 would truly be so mature when if came down to this." Faith smiled a genuine smile. She had told them, and they took it much better then to be expected. "I'm going to go make you guys a big breakfast, then I'm going to call in work and take a personal day, so we can go see that Disney movie. Emily why don't you take a shower first. Then you Charlie"
"Ok Mom" Charlie and Emily said at the same time.
Faith walked out of there bedroom, she started making her children breakfast, she grabbed the movie times out of the newspaper, right outside her door, and picked up the phone and called the station, known as Camelot.
******
"Bosco! You're going to be with Gusler today!" Christopher said, with a gleeful smile. He knew Bosco disliked working with the inexperienced rookie.
"OH No! Damn! Why? Where is Faith?" Bosco moaned. His annoyance at Christopher and the dread of working with Gusler all day, hid his worry for Faith. She never misses work, he whined inside. She was very quiet the last few days… He just figured, she was having PMS… He had asked if something was bothering her, but she kept saying she just had a lot of things she was thinking about.
"She called in this morning. A emergency came up, she decided she needed to take a personal day."
"Did she say WHAT the emergency was?" Bosco asked, with annoyance showing in his tone.
"That's really none of your business Boscorelli, better hurry up before you're late to roll call… AGAIN" Christopher chuckled. He hated Bosco, and was not going to do him any favors, or make his life easier, ever.
"Ass" Bosco said under his breathe. Walking quickly towards the locker to change before, Roll call. I'll call her on break, he rationalized quickly. He wondered why she hadn't called to let him know something was wrong, or at the least that she wouldn't be at work.
*****
"You see Faith? Davis? She never misses work" Sully asked his young partner.
"Nope haven't seen her, but here comes Bosco" Davis responded.
"He doesn't look to happy about her not being her" He whispered.
Bosco walked over and took a sit. While the captain, gave the heads up, on what to look for today.
"Where's your partner Bosco?" Sully asked in a low whisper.
"Damn, if I know" Bosco snapped back.
"Hey Bosco, since you seem to want to talk, You and Gusler, can look for this guy, killed two elderly women, crossing the street, didn't even slow down. Here's where we think he might be staying…" he continued.
"Damn!" He said almost inaudibly, as he listened to the captain finish. He looked over to see Gusler watching the captain so intensely, listening to his every word. "Its going to be a LONG day" he moaned.
*****
"Did you guys like the movie?" Faith said, leading her kids, from the movie theater.
"Yes it was great! Thanks Mom!" Charlie praised, the movie had taken everyone's mind of the past events of the day.
"It was ok," Emily admitted not wanting to seem like she overly enjoyed a children's animated movie. She was going through that, *I'm not a kid anymore* stage. Which most preteens go through at 12 or 13 years old.
"Well I'm glad you guys liked it. Wanna go see Gramma?"
"Sure!" The kids both said at the same time. Which cause all three of them to giggle.
*****
Bosco's day was going horrible, the day dragged on so slowly, no action at all, the lead to where they thought the Hit and Run killer might have been turned out to be a waste of time. He was worried about Faith, he had tried calling her, every chance he got, but had only gotten voice mail. He was determined he was going to go over to Faiths apartment during dinner break.
Gusler sat quietly for most the day. He knew Bosco was upset about something, and he also knew Bosco was not too fond of working with the young rookie. So he figured it might just be better to sit there quietly, and hope for some action to make the shift go quicker.
*****
Faith, Emily and Charlie, were sitting at Faiths mother's apartment. Oh the couch. "Sweethearts? Can you guys go lay down in Gramma's room for awhile, and watch TV? I have to talk to Gramma. For awhile." Faith asked with a pleading look in her eyes.
"Sure Mom," Emily smiled, "Come on Charlie lets go what the Simpson's!" She encouraged, seeing her Mothers plea.
Faith's Mother and Father had been alcoholics, when her and Stanley were growing up. Faith had married Fred very young to get out of the situation. Things were better between her and her mother now. But it was still a strained relationship.
"What's wrong Faith?" Her mother wondered out loud.
Faith's eyes filled with tears, as she told her mother, the events of the night before.
Nodded her head and hugged her. "Its ok Faith… What can I do to help? I know in the past… things weren't perfect but I'd like to make that up to you. How can I help you?" her mother asked with sincerity.
"Will you take the kids for a week or two. While I figure this mess out? I've got to find a new apartment… I've got to call a attorney… god… how am I going to pay a attorney!" she realized.
Faiths mother, walked to the other room leaving Faith standing in the middle of the living room alone. She quickly returned holding a small piece of paper with a name and phone number on it.
"What's that?"
"She's a Divorce attorney, a good one too. Call her and tell her you're my daughter. I'm sure she'll work something out with you. She owes me a favor." She grinned at Faith. "See one less thing to worry about, and don't worry about the kids! I'd love for them to stay here for a week maybe two. I missed so much of you and Stanley growing up." She sighed sadly.
Relief washed over her quickly. "Thanks Mom, I'm going to go talk to the kids and see what they say about staying here for awhile. I've already mentioned it too them. But I want to make sure they are okay with it."
"Alright"
She walked down the hall to her Mothers room, the kids had dosed off. On the bed, watching the Simpsons. Its really late… she thought, she had planned to drive them home to get some bags, but changed her mind when she saw them peacefully asleep. She smiled, and gently awoke the pair. They were excited to stay with Gramma for awhile. Faith of course promised to call them and come see them. "Gramma's going to pack your lunches, and get you guys to school, and pick you guys up from school." She went on…
"No problem Mom!" Emily said, relaxed and comfortable. "This will be great! But please if Dad calls please let him know we love him, and would like to talk to him"
"I love you Mom, Call me tomorrow… Promise?" Charlie asked.
"Of course Sweeties! I'll see you guys tomorrow, when I drop off some clothes and a few movies" She promised.
She hugged her children again. Then went to talk to her mother. Faith started listing off, school times, lunches, pick up times, ete… Emergency numbers…
"Faith? You're only a few miles away from here, we both have phones if a problem arises. I want you to go home, and get some sleep! Call me if you need anything else and DON'T worry, the kids will be fine."
"Thanks Mom, I… umm I love you." She smiled, it had been a LONG, long time since she had said those words to her mother.
A tear slide down her cheek. "I love you too Faith,"
*****
Faith left and headed for her apartment, she looked at her watch… Bosco will be off soon. Maybe I should call him. She thought to herself.
*****
Bosco had shown up at Faiths apartment hours ago, only to find the door locked and nobody home. It only worried him more. But he continued went back 55-David where Gusler was waiting.
*****
Faith got to her apartment, it was late, she went to check her messages, only to find a message from Bosco and one from Fred. Bosco had called wondering, why she wasn't at work and whining about how he was stuck with Gusler, she sighed and smiled, she could tell it was just a cover, he was worried. I'll call him tonight she promised herself. Then she listened to the one from Fred. He was staying with some guy from work, he wanted to say hi to the kids, and he was looking for a apartment, he didn't leave a number but said he'd call back tomorrow.
She sat there awhile, trying to figure out if she should call Bos… Its 11:15 he would of got off work a 15 minutes ago… Suddenly she heard a faint knock on the door…
Don't sue! I own nothing in retrospect of the show I mean. J There is more to come. Please Comment. And if you want to download the song in the this first chapter, its by…(Alison Krauss - I can let go now) I don't own the song either. Thank you for taking the time to read this. OH one more thing if you know how I change the song lyrics to italics please someone let me know. Thanks J
*****
"GET OUT!" She screamed! She had had enough, of his bullshit. She was not going to live under his conditions anymore!
"WHAT?! I knew it!" Fred hissed. "You'd choose Bosco over your own Family, your own husband!"
"Get the fuck out before I call the cops! I'm not choosing Bosco over you! I'm choosing, my sanity over you! I'm not going to watch you drink anymore, threaten me anymore, or fight with you anymore." Her yelling got more intense. "IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL BEFORE YOU WALK BACK THROUGH THAT DOOR. She screamed as she threw his clothes into a few paper grocery sacks, with some personal belongings and shoved them at him.
Fred stared at her. "Why are you doing this!" Fred growled. Then he decided to try a different approach and changed his tone… "I love you, Hon". Forcing a fake smile.
Faith glared at him, anger building, her blood boiling. "If you loved me, you wouldn't of just, told me to fucking quit my job! That we're moving and that's that! You wouldn't of told me, I can never see Bosco again! Bosco is my best friend! If you loved me… You wouldn't drink a case of beers every night! If you loved me you wouldn't embarrass me in front of -HELL everyone".
Fred was hurt, he felt tears threaten, He loved Faith he really did, but they were fighting all the time, he couldn't stop drinking, and he hated the fact that Bosco spent 8 hours a day alone with HIS wife. "But what about the kids… You'd put the kids through this? That shows what kinda mother you are!" Fred started calmly but quickly started Yelling at her again.
She stared at him. "Fred, Emily and Charlie do not deserve to live this way either! You think I'm not thinking about the welfare of the kids, you're wrong! Emily even told me the other day, She wished we would get divorced because she and Charlie are tired of lying in there room at night, listening to me get yelled at by there drunken Father, every single fucking night!!! Things are not going to get better between us! We got married too young. The only thing good that every came out of this marriage, are in their beds, probably with Pillows covering there ears. So leave! Just leave, don't come back either! I'm tired of this, I can't handle it anymore. I want to divorce." Faith finished out of breathe, panting.
He paused, absorbing everything that Faith had just said. It made him sad, but part of him knew she was right. "I do love you, but maybe you're right. But… Faith, before I step out that door, I want to think about if for a minute, and make sure that's what you want…" Fred paused, he had quickly sobered up, when they started fighting, He fought back tears, "…because Faith, if I walk out that door, I will never return. And I will fight you in court to get Full custody of the Emily and Charlie."
"Fred…" Faith started softly, slowly, and choosing her words carefully. "I don't need anymore time to think about it. I've thought about it for months now. Its not like I walked in tonight, we got in a fight, and I just decided, Oh lets get a divorce. I know in my heart, we'd never be happy together, we both deserve a chance to find happiness, and no matter what, we're not going to find it with each other. The kids don't deserve to have two people, so unhappy together, staying together, fighting, and your drinking… Its wrong Fred. I'm sorry I *was* in love with you once." Faith's disposition changed again, "But you will have to fight me in court for custody of the kids!" She increased her voice. Shoving him the rest of his bags and belongings. "I'll pack the rest of your stuff up, when you have a permanent address, let me know and we're figure out how to get the rest of you stuff to you."
"You're a bitch!" Fred yelled, fueled by his anger. "I knew you we're fucking that loser Bosco!"
Faith rolled her eyes. "That's what it always comes back to. You yell and scream about Bosco, grow up, This has NOTHING in the world to do with him, and all to do with us--------Excuse me there is no more *us*. This is about you and me, and the fact that we can't and aren't going to live under the same roof anymore!" She was shaking, she wanted him gone, so she could break down and cry.
"Ok… Faith…" He said defeated. "How are you going to tell the kids…?" He asked with only the tiniest bit of compassion…
"I'll tell them tomorrow… I'm taking the day off, I'll tell them then." She said, desperately trying to stop her shaking.
"Ok Faith, but please don't make them hate me." Fred said, tears threatening to fall.
"They would never hate you, and I would never ever try to turn them against you." Faith said, soothingly… She didn't know this was going to be quite this hard, or that Fred would react the way he was reacting. But regardless… It was time they parted, they couldn't go on together. She didn't want to wake up 40 years from now, next to this man, who although she loved him because he was the father of her children, She wasn't in love with, and would never be… Not again, not ever. She smiled, one tear passed the guard and slide down her cheek. "Damn it" she said inaudibly under her breathe, As more tears threatened to fall.
"Well ok Faith, at least we can end this without fighting." Fred walked over and took her hand and lifted it to his lips, and kissed it softly. "Goodbye Faith, you're right, things could never go back to the way they were the first few years."
"Good bye, Fred", she blinked back tears. She watched him, turn with his bags in hand, and walk towards the Emily and Charlie's bedroom, he glanced in and saw Emily first, she was curled up in a ball with her headset on full blast, he walked over to her, sat on the edge of her bed, and took her headphones off gently. He kissed her forehead and said quietly "I'm sorry Emily," she mumbled in her sleep. He watched her for a few minutes and got up and walked over Charlie. Charlie was fast asleep, his hands secured a pillow placed over both ears. He repositioned the pillow, and kissed his forehead, "I'm sorry Charlie, this is for the best though… You won't need to sleep with a pillow tucked around your ears, every again, at least not because of me and your mother. I love you Charlie", He whispered.
"umm…Tell the kids… I love them, and I'll talk to them in a few days. When I've found a place to stay." Fred turned the knob of the door he had slammed so many times, he left the apartment, where his life as he knew it was gone. He wiped a single tear, and kept walking.
*****
He was gone, Fred was really gone. She slumped to her knees, in the middle of the living room, trying hard to control her sobs. She was crying, well crying is a understatement she was sobbing on the floor, curled into a ball. Suddenly she hear a song that was playing on the radio, the radio she had turned on in a attempt to cover their yelling at each other earlier, and shook as the words, sunk in…
It was so right
It was so wrong
Almost at the same time
The pain and ache
A heart can take
No one really knows
But When the memories cling
And take you there
'Til you no longer care
You can let go now
She had thought long and hard about the decision, just like she had told Fred. Faith had made the decision alone, Bosco didn't even know what was going on. In fact she had been very quiet and distant from him the last few days. Why do I always push him away when I need him the most, she wondered, thinking about her Best friend.
It's not right for me
To cling to you
Somehow I just needed time
From what was to be
It's not like me
To hold somebody down
But I was tossed high by love
Almost never came down
Only to land here
Where no love is found
And I'm no longer bound
I can let go now
She slowly regained control, walked to the hall closet and took out a warm blanket. Maybe I should call Bosco, she thought only briefly, then remembered him bragging earlier about going to some new bar with Davis tonight. I'm sure he's *busy*, with some leggy gorgeous blond, Faith sighed. Looking at the clock as she walked back to the couch, its 1:30 in the morning. Although she didn't doubt, if she needed him, or if he even thought she needed him, he'd rush right over. She didn't want to bother him.
I can let go now
She laid on the couch crying. She cried for the love she had many, many years ago, when her and Fred first got married, she cried for the thought that she now had to break the news to the kids, she cried tears of all emotions, deep down she was relieved though, the fighting would stop. She cried at the thought of sleeping in the empty bed, although Faith had stopped allowing Fred to get intimate with her months ago, when she first started to realize, maybe they can't work it out this time, that things will NEVER change.
I can let go now
She laid on the couch, watching each minute creep by, she sat there, listening to sappy love songs and sad songs on the radio, which made her cry even harder, but she did not turn it off. She felt the weight of the world had just been put onto her shoulders and that scared her. Finally around 4:35 sleep finally overtook her, she was exhausted both physically and mentally.
I can let go now…
*****
Faith awoke the next morning, at 7am, she got up silently, trying not to disturb her sleeping children. She looks around for Fred, and remembered he was gone, and would not be coming back. That is what she wanted, she was without a doubt, but all the same, it still saddened her, they had shared a lot of memories here, both good and bad, she didn't want to live in that apartment any longer then she had too.
She walked to the bathroom, her eyes were puffy, from crying, her next was sore from sleeping on the couch, and she was so tired, less the 3 hours of sleep last night was not enough. She splashed water on her face and sighed. She shut the bathroom door, and started the shower, she striped off her gray NYPD t-shirt and her jogging pants and hopped in the shower. She stood there letting the hot water pound on her body, trying to figure out how exactly she would tell her children what happen last night. "Maybe I should call Bosco…" She pondered, "he could help me, he could help me figure out something, I need support right now…" not caring she was talking to herself. "No… I'm alone now I have to start thinking for myself, and turning for support. I can do this alone." She smiled at the fact that she was alone in the shower alone, and talking to herself.
*****
"Sweethearts", Faith called into Charlie and Em's bedroom. "Time to get up."
"MOM its 8:30! I was suppose to be to school a hour ago!" Emily whined.
"Emily…" Faith started, starting to wonder if she should of called Bosco, "You and Charlie aren't going to school today, I have some stuff to talk to you guys about… Pretty serious stuff. Then after wards why don't we go see that new Disney movie coming out?"
"Yippee! No school and a movie!" cheered Charlie, who had quickly woken up at the revelation of no school.
"Mom, what's wrong! I know something's wrong, is something wrong with Dad!" Emily cried in a panicky tone.
Faith sighed, there was really no proper place to tell them, or no proper time. So now was as good as ever. "Emily…" She said with a assuring smile, as she tried to figure out the words to say to her children, that sat in from of her with wide eyes. "…Charlie, every night when I get home from work, me and your dad, fight, its been like that for a long time. A very long time. I've been thinking for the last few months about if we're going to be able to pull the marriage back together. But lately I've realized its not going to happen. Me and your father love you guys very, very much, but we don't love each other that *way*, anymore. And its not fair to you guys, you guys should have 2 parents that live apart and are happy, rather then 2 parents that live together, and fight every night…, we got married to young, way too young, 17 actually… and started a family too young, I was only 18 when I had you Emily, and we just can't work things out, things change…" She paused letting what she said sink in. "so the best thing for everyone is if me and your father get divorced.". Faith finished, on the verge of tears.
Tears rolled down, Emily's cheeks. "Mom… I know it's the right thing, because all you do is fight, but… I still can't stop crying."
"Shhh… Its ok to cry Em…" Faith said holding both her Children tightly.
"Are we ever going to see Dad?" Charlie said in a sob.
"Of course! Charlie, Emily, you guys still have both of us, we are just no longer going to be sad every night and fight."
"Who will we live with?" Emily asked calmly and no longer crying.
"Well guys, For a few days, you may stay at Grammas. Because I have a lot to do… I'm going to fine us a new place to live." I'm going to have find a attorney, she added mentally. "After that, I'm not sure. If your father has a permanent place to live by then. We will switch off, He'll have you for the week, since I start my shift when you guys get home from school, and I'll have you on the weekends. But I haven't really talked to him much about all the details."
"Oh," Emily sighed "ok Mom" She gave her mother a half smile.
"Charlie, you ok?" She asked rubbing his back gently.
"Ya Mom. I'm ok, I love you." he whined.
"I love both of you, who knew you Emily at 12 and you Charlie at 8 would truly be so mature when if came down to this." Faith smiled a genuine smile. She had told them, and they took it much better then to be expected. "I'm going to go make you guys a big breakfast, then I'm going to call in work and take a personal day, so we can go see that Disney movie. Emily why don't you take a shower first. Then you Charlie"
"Ok Mom" Charlie and Emily said at the same time.
Faith walked out of there bedroom, she started making her children breakfast, she grabbed the movie times out of the newspaper, right outside her door, and picked up the phone and called the station, known as Camelot.
******
"Bosco! You're going to be with Gusler today!" Christopher said, with a gleeful smile. He knew Bosco disliked working with the inexperienced rookie.
"OH No! Damn! Why? Where is Faith?" Bosco moaned. His annoyance at Christopher and the dread of working with Gusler all day, hid his worry for Faith. She never misses work, he whined inside. She was very quiet the last few days… He just figured, she was having PMS… He had asked if something was bothering her, but she kept saying she just had a lot of things she was thinking about.
"She called in this morning. A emergency came up, she decided she needed to take a personal day."
"Did she say WHAT the emergency was?" Bosco asked, with annoyance showing in his tone.
"That's really none of your business Boscorelli, better hurry up before you're late to roll call… AGAIN" Christopher chuckled. He hated Bosco, and was not going to do him any favors, or make his life easier, ever.
"Ass" Bosco said under his breathe. Walking quickly towards the locker to change before, Roll call. I'll call her on break, he rationalized quickly. He wondered why she hadn't called to let him know something was wrong, or at the least that she wouldn't be at work.
*****
"You see Faith? Davis? She never misses work" Sully asked his young partner.
"Nope haven't seen her, but here comes Bosco" Davis responded.
"He doesn't look to happy about her not being her" He whispered.
Bosco walked over and took a sit. While the captain, gave the heads up, on what to look for today.
"Where's your partner Bosco?" Sully asked in a low whisper.
"Damn, if I know" Bosco snapped back.
"Hey Bosco, since you seem to want to talk, You and Gusler, can look for this guy, killed two elderly women, crossing the street, didn't even slow down. Here's where we think he might be staying…" he continued.
"Damn!" He said almost inaudibly, as he listened to the captain finish. He looked over to see Gusler watching the captain so intensely, listening to his every word. "Its going to be a LONG day" he moaned.
*****
"Did you guys like the movie?" Faith said, leading her kids, from the movie theater.
"Yes it was great! Thanks Mom!" Charlie praised, the movie had taken everyone's mind of the past events of the day.
"It was ok," Emily admitted not wanting to seem like she overly enjoyed a children's animated movie. She was going through that, *I'm not a kid anymore* stage. Which most preteens go through at 12 or 13 years old.
"Well I'm glad you guys liked it. Wanna go see Gramma?"
"Sure!" The kids both said at the same time. Which cause all three of them to giggle.
*****
Bosco's day was going horrible, the day dragged on so slowly, no action at all, the lead to where they thought the Hit and Run killer might have been turned out to be a waste of time. He was worried about Faith, he had tried calling her, every chance he got, but had only gotten voice mail. He was determined he was going to go over to Faiths apartment during dinner break.
Gusler sat quietly for most the day. He knew Bosco was upset about something, and he also knew Bosco was not too fond of working with the young rookie. So he figured it might just be better to sit there quietly, and hope for some action to make the shift go quicker.
*****
Faith, Emily and Charlie, were sitting at Faiths mother's apartment. Oh the couch. "Sweethearts? Can you guys go lay down in Gramma's room for awhile, and watch TV? I have to talk to Gramma. For awhile." Faith asked with a pleading look in her eyes.
"Sure Mom," Emily smiled, "Come on Charlie lets go what the Simpson's!" She encouraged, seeing her Mothers plea.
Faith's Mother and Father had been alcoholics, when her and Stanley were growing up. Faith had married Fred very young to get out of the situation. Things were better between her and her mother now. But it was still a strained relationship.
"What's wrong Faith?" Her mother wondered out loud.
Faith's eyes filled with tears, as she told her mother, the events of the night before.
Nodded her head and hugged her. "Its ok Faith… What can I do to help? I know in the past… things weren't perfect but I'd like to make that up to you. How can I help you?" her mother asked with sincerity.
"Will you take the kids for a week or two. While I figure this mess out? I've got to find a new apartment… I've got to call a attorney… god… how am I going to pay a attorney!" she realized.
Faiths mother, walked to the other room leaving Faith standing in the middle of the living room alone. She quickly returned holding a small piece of paper with a name and phone number on it.
"What's that?"
"She's a Divorce attorney, a good one too. Call her and tell her you're my daughter. I'm sure she'll work something out with you. She owes me a favor." She grinned at Faith. "See one less thing to worry about, and don't worry about the kids! I'd love for them to stay here for a week maybe two. I missed so much of you and Stanley growing up." She sighed sadly.
Relief washed over her quickly. "Thanks Mom, I'm going to go talk to the kids and see what they say about staying here for awhile. I've already mentioned it too them. But I want to make sure they are okay with it."
"Alright"
She walked down the hall to her Mothers room, the kids had dosed off. On the bed, watching the Simpsons. Its really late… she thought, she had planned to drive them home to get some bags, but changed her mind when she saw them peacefully asleep. She smiled, and gently awoke the pair. They were excited to stay with Gramma for awhile. Faith of course promised to call them and come see them. "Gramma's going to pack your lunches, and get you guys to school, and pick you guys up from school." She went on…
"No problem Mom!" Emily said, relaxed and comfortable. "This will be great! But please if Dad calls please let him know we love him, and would like to talk to him"
"I love you Mom, Call me tomorrow… Promise?" Charlie asked.
"Of course Sweeties! I'll see you guys tomorrow, when I drop off some clothes and a few movies" She promised.
She hugged her children again. Then went to talk to her mother. Faith started listing off, school times, lunches, pick up times, ete… Emergency numbers…
"Faith? You're only a few miles away from here, we both have phones if a problem arises. I want you to go home, and get some sleep! Call me if you need anything else and DON'T worry, the kids will be fine."
"Thanks Mom, I… umm I love you." She smiled, it had been a LONG, long time since she had said those words to her mother.
A tear slide down her cheek. "I love you too Faith,"
*****
Faith left and headed for her apartment, she looked at her watch… Bosco will be off soon. Maybe I should call him. She thought to herself.
*****
Bosco had shown up at Faiths apartment hours ago, only to find the door locked and nobody home. It only worried him more. But he continued went back 55-David where Gusler was waiting.
*****
Faith got to her apartment, it was late, she went to check her messages, only to find a message from Bosco and one from Fred. Bosco had called wondering, why she wasn't at work and whining about how he was stuck with Gusler, she sighed and smiled, she could tell it was just a cover, he was worried. I'll call him tonight she promised herself. Then she listened to the one from Fred. He was staying with some guy from work, he wanted to say hi to the kids, and he was looking for a apartment, he didn't leave a number but said he'd call back tomorrow.
She sat there awhile, trying to figure out if she should call Bos… Its 11:15 he would of got off work a 15 minutes ago… Suddenly she heard a faint knock on the door…