Newscaster: Yesterday there were 4 major divas. They were Britney Spears,
Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, and Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson had
been assassinated. One gunshot wound to the head. And let me just say that
I love cows. I'm a vegetarian. I was so upset that Jessica Simpson wore so
much leather. Let me express my gratitude to whoever killed Ms. Simpson.
Thank ZERO!
Director: What the fuck is she doing?
Man: Get her off the air!
Newscaster #2: Sorry about the first newscaster.Yesterday there were two major boy bands, NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. Today, as of now, there are only 3 members left. Yes! Yes! NSYNC rules! Long live NSYNC! If you have any information, please do not call the flashing number below!
[The director runs up and pushes the 2nd newscaster out of the way]
Director: We'll have more MTV news at 10 to the hour. Only on MTV. Fuck!!! It's supposed to be "at ten to the hour on MTV" One sentence not two!
[TRL returned on the television screen. They were watching that television in Chuck E. Cheese's on the 10 to the hour bulletin before the NSYNC one, they announced that American Idol had been canceled.]
Duo: That was so disturbing.
Sailor Mars: We have to go now.
Sailor Jupiter: Yeah, our producers want to have a word with us.
Fic writer "Jess": You mean your parents?
Everyone: Ewww! SHUT IT "Jess"
[All the Sailor Scouts leave]
Noin: Hey it's time for FRIENDS. Let's tune in!
Sally: What the Deathscythe Hell? They pre-emptied FRIENDS? There's a Britney Spears concert on instead.
Hilde: Oh my ZERO! Look at that!
Duo: What?
[A group of little girls have stormed the stage. The security guards can't keep them at bay.]
Girls on the TV: Spear Britney! Spear Britney!
Heero: Wow.
Dorothy: Brutal.
Relena: Yes! Yes! Yes! I know this is Y18!
(Okay I'm not going into gory details. I'm just writing the fic)
Newscaster # 3: Today at a Britney Spears concert (may she rest in the Billboard chart of fame) died. It would seem as those Christina fans finally got to her. However, the truth is that those girls were just posing as Christina fans. The police think they've caught all the killers. But they haven't. I personally know for a fact that one of the killers is still loose. That killer finally speared Britney (may she rest in the Billboard chart of fame) because FRIENDS was pre-emptied in exchange for the concert, and the killer got mad. So the killer speared Ms. Spears (may she rest in the Billboard chart of fame). And that loose killer is.Me! Bwahahahahahaha!!! May she rest in the Billboard charts of shame!
[TRL clicked back on. They were sitting in silence for half a second. Then Relena started laughing, and that was scary.]
Fic writer J: Well, where should we go next?
Fic writer "Jess": Are you crazy. You're not taking these psychos out again? You're crazy!
Daniel: Crazy is as Crazy does.
"Mars": Daniel? From our English class? AHHHHHHHHH!
Fic writer J: Daniel, disappear! (Poof, and he's gone)
"Missy": Thank ZERO.
Relena: Yeah!!! (BOOM BOOM CRACK POP BOOM BOOM)
Heero: WF. Curious. Why are we at the Wrestling Federation?
Relena: I love this show!
Commissioner: Hey babe.
[Relena punches his face then kicks him in his stomach. She gets him in a choke hold and snaps his neck}
Duo: Sheez, what does she need Heero for?
[Noin and Sally are getting into the ring]
Noin: I'm Noin and I'll kick anyone's roba (ass in Japanese) here!
Sally: I'm Sally. If you think women are weak you need an ass kicking.
Wufei: Stupid woman! You are too weak!
[Sally grabs Wufei's collar and pulls him into the ring. Sally and Noin pummel Wufei until Wufei doesn't know his name. Relena jumps into the ring. She throws everyone out, then takes the mike.]
Relena: Dorothy get away from me.
Dorothy: WE want to challenge that dude! STONE COLD SEVE AUSTIN! GET OUT HERE!
[Stone Cold walks down the ramp. The crowd is cheering. Some how Heero got the mike.]
Heero: That baka (stupid) is going to get his baka no roba (stupid ass) kicked.
Man: Why? The 3:16 rules!!!
[The crowd went wild]
Heero: Oh, you do not know those two women like I do. Just trust me.
Stone Cold: I'll kick your asses. You're just two blonde little women!
Beaten Wufei: Yeahhh man.Stone, you are too weak to fight Relena!
Relena: Banzai!
[Dorothy trips Stone Cold. Relena rips at his face until it's a bloody mess.]
Stone Cold: What the fuck, these things are supposed to be rigged so that I win!!!!
Relena: I don't think so!
[She bounces off the side and jumps on Stone Cold]
Man: Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Go Steve Austin!
Dorothy: Oh yeah? You're cheering for this guy? Do you want a piece of me? Look at Stone he's dead.
Man: Uhhhh.
Heero: Omae o korosu
[He fires gun]
Man: Goodbye.cruel world..
Heero: Shut up!
"Mars": Shut it!
[She pulls out a M-16 and kills the man]
Heero: Cool.
Wufei: Woman.What is your name?
"Mars": "Mars"
Wufei: I'm sorry I called you guys weak. I thought you were too weak to fight.
Sally: Thank you.
Wufei: Ohh.uh. I was talking to "Mars", but sorry.
Sally: I accept.
Relena: I swear I could have done it on my own. Dorothy get the fuck away from me! Bitch!
[Relena jumps upon Dorothy and pulls at her hair, slamming her face into the ground. Then she punches Dorothy senseless. She takes out a big scissors and chops off all of Dorothy's hair]
Dorothy: Noooo!
[She jumps out of the ring and runs away screaming]
Relena: Eeeeh, Heh, heh, heh, Eeeeh, heh, heh, heh, BWWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Wufei: Oh my ZERO.
Relena: I'm calling out the Rock!!!
Heero: This shouldn't be good.
[The Rock cocks his eyebrow and contorts his face. Relena jumps on him and snaps his neck with one hand. Then she lifts her eyebrow and makes the Rock's face.]
Fic writer J: That was an interesting dream you had Relena.
Quatre: It was a psychotic messed up dream you had.
Relena: You wanna fight?!
Quatre: Bring it on!
Wufei: I had a weird dream too.
Heero/psychologist: Go on.
THE END Apology: Not to say that WF Smackdown is weak or anything, just that Relena can kick their ass. I apologize to Bill Clinton, MTV, Christina A., WF, Friends, The Backstreet Boys, American Idol, Daniel, Nikki, Celebrity Death Match, Addams Family, MTV news, Freddie Prinze Jr. Jessica Simpson, and Britney Spears.
Director: What the fuck is she doing?
Man: Get her off the air!
Newscaster #2: Sorry about the first newscaster.Yesterday there were two major boy bands, NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. Today, as of now, there are only 3 members left. Yes! Yes! NSYNC rules! Long live NSYNC! If you have any information, please do not call the flashing number below!
[The director runs up and pushes the 2nd newscaster out of the way]
Director: We'll have more MTV news at 10 to the hour. Only on MTV. Fuck!!! It's supposed to be "at ten to the hour on MTV" One sentence not two!
[TRL returned on the television screen. They were watching that television in Chuck E. Cheese's on the 10 to the hour bulletin before the NSYNC one, they announced that American Idol had been canceled.]
Duo: That was so disturbing.
Sailor Mars: We have to go now.
Sailor Jupiter: Yeah, our producers want to have a word with us.
Fic writer "Jess": You mean your parents?
Everyone: Ewww! SHUT IT "Jess"
[All the Sailor Scouts leave]
Noin: Hey it's time for FRIENDS. Let's tune in!
Sally: What the Deathscythe Hell? They pre-emptied FRIENDS? There's a Britney Spears concert on instead.
Hilde: Oh my ZERO! Look at that!
Duo: What?
[A group of little girls have stormed the stage. The security guards can't keep them at bay.]
Girls on the TV: Spear Britney! Spear Britney!
Heero: Wow.
Dorothy: Brutal.
Relena: Yes! Yes! Yes! I know this is Y18!
(Okay I'm not going into gory details. I'm just writing the fic)
Newscaster # 3: Today at a Britney Spears concert (may she rest in the Billboard chart of fame) died. It would seem as those Christina fans finally got to her. However, the truth is that those girls were just posing as Christina fans. The police think they've caught all the killers. But they haven't. I personally know for a fact that one of the killers is still loose. That killer finally speared Britney (may she rest in the Billboard chart of fame) because FRIENDS was pre-emptied in exchange for the concert, and the killer got mad. So the killer speared Ms. Spears (may she rest in the Billboard chart of fame). And that loose killer is.Me! Bwahahahahahaha!!! May she rest in the Billboard charts of shame!
[TRL clicked back on. They were sitting in silence for half a second. Then Relena started laughing, and that was scary.]
Fic writer J: Well, where should we go next?
Fic writer "Jess": Are you crazy. You're not taking these psychos out again? You're crazy!
Daniel: Crazy is as Crazy does.
"Mars": Daniel? From our English class? AHHHHHHHHH!
Fic writer J: Daniel, disappear! (Poof, and he's gone)
"Missy": Thank ZERO.
Relena: Yeah!!! (BOOM BOOM CRACK POP BOOM BOOM)
Heero: WF. Curious. Why are we at the Wrestling Federation?
Relena: I love this show!
Commissioner: Hey babe.
[Relena punches his face then kicks him in his stomach. She gets him in a choke hold and snaps his neck}
Duo: Sheez, what does she need Heero for?
[Noin and Sally are getting into the ring]
Noin: I'm Noin and I'll kick anyone's roba (ass in Japanese) here!
Sally: I'm Sally. If you think women are weak you need an ass kicking.
Wufei: Stupid woman! You are too weak!
[Sally grabs Wufei's collar and pulls him into the ring. Sally and Noin pummel Wufei until Wufei doesn't know his name. Relena jumps into the ring. She throws everyone out, then takes the mike.]
Relena: Dorothy get away from me.
Dorothy: WE want to challenge that dude! STONE COLD SEVE AUSTIN! GET OUT HERE!
[Stone Cold walks down the ramp. The crowd is cheering. Some how Heero got the mike.]
Heero: That baka (stupid) is going to get his baka no roba (stupid ass) kicked.
Man: Why? The 3:16 rules!!!
[The crowd went wild]
Heero: Oh, you do not know those two women like I do. Just trust me.
Stone Cold: I'll kick your asses. You're just two blonde little women!
Beaten Wufei: Yeahhh man.Stone, you are too weak to fight Relena!
Relena: Banzai!
[Dorothy trips Stone Cold. Relena rips at his face until it's a bloody mess.]
Stone Cold: What the fuck, these things are supposed to be rigged so that I win!!!!
Relena: I don't think so!
[She bounces off the side and jumps on Stone Cold]
Man: Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Go Steve Austin!
Dorothy: Oh yeah? You're cheering for this guy? Do you want a piece of me? Look at Stone he's dead.
Man: Uhhhh.
Heero: Omae o korosu
[He fires gun]
Man: Goodbye.cruel world..
Heero: Shut up!
"Mars": Shut it!
[She pulls out a M-16 and kills the man]
Heero: Cool.
Wufei: Woman.What is your name?
"Mars": "Mars"
Wufei: I'm sorry I called you guys weak. I thought you were too weak to fight.
Sally: Thank you.
Wufei: Ohh.uh. I was talking to "Mars", but sorry.
Sally: I accept.
Relena: I swear I could have done it on my own. Dorothy get the fuck away from me! Bitch!
[Relena jumps upon Dorothy and pulls at her hair, slamming her face into the ground. Then she punches Dorothy senseless. She takes out a big scissors and chops off all of Dorothy's hair]
Dorothy: Noooo!
[She jumps out of the ring and runs away screaming]
Relena: Eeeeh, Heh, heh, heh, Eeeeh, heh, heh, heh, BWWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Wufei: Oh my ZERO.
Relena: I'm calling out the Rock!!!
Heero: This shouldn't be good.
[The Rock cocks his eyebrow and contorts his face. Relena jumps on him and snaps his neck with one hand. Then she lifts her eyebrow and makes the Rock's face.]
Fic writer J: That was an interesting dream you had Relena.
Quatre: It was a psychotic messed up dream you had.
Relena: You wanna fight?!
Quatre: Bring it on!
Wufei: I had a weird dream too.
Heero/psychologist: Go on.
THE END Apology: Not to say that WF Smackdown is weak or anything, just that Relena can kick their ass. I apologize to Bill Clinton, MTV, Christina A., WF, Friends, The Backstreet Boys, American Idol, Daniel, Nikki, Celebrity Death Match, Addams Family, MTV news, Freddie Prinze Jr. Jessica Simpson, and Britney Spears.