4. Chapter – Realisation (Aragorn's POV)
The council was over; the fellowship was formed. But it was decided that the members of the fellowship should stay in Rivendell for two more weeks to give the hobbits enough time to recover their strength for the dangerous journey to Mordor. Days went by but even after a whole week nothing between Legolas and Aragorn had changed. The man had been so sure that he would find the key to Legolas' soul but until now he had failed. It was just another night with too much trouble in his mind to find sleep. So Aragorn left the house and went slowly thru the great garden of Rivendell. What was this strange feeling Legolas caused in his heart? Why was he so much hurt by the way the elf treated him? Normally Aragorn was not a person who would tolerate an insult or arrogant behaviour easily. But try as he might, he could not bring himself to be angry on Legolas or hate him for his harsh words. There was only this mysterious pain deep inside and the overwhelming wish to be near the blond elf, to finally hear warm words from his lips. Words of friendship, of love ... No!, Aragorn cried inside. This was impossible. He felt only friendship for Legolas, it must be so because he loved Arwen. Arwen was the one who had captured his heart, the one and only he belonged to. Aragorn tried desperately to assure himself that this was the truth. But there was a quite voice in his mind, not willing to be silent, that told him that things had changed, that nothing would be like before. The man was so deep in his thoughts that he ran straight in a person before him. Confused Aragorn lifted his eyes and met Arwen's concerned gaze. "Are you alright?" she asked. Aragorn nodded, but the gesture was not very believable. Arwen noticed the storm of emotion in Aragorn steel-grey eyes and the fact that he had barely understood her words. She smiled, tried to ease the situation. "I can see that something troubles you. You know that you can tell me everything. I will help you like always before. Trust me, you know I love you," she said softly. Her words caused a stinging pain in the man's heart. * I love you * A few days ago this would have been the most beautiful sound to his ears. And he would have answered "I love you too," without any hesitation. But these words, true for some years, now seemed strange and wrong. The only picture it created in his mind was an image of two dark-blue eyes, a beautiful face framed with long silky blond hair – Legolas - . Aragorn was speechless, not knowing what to say. He finally opened his heart and soul to the truth that he had fallen in love with the Prince of Mirkwood. There was no chance to ignore it any longer. How could he explain this without breaking Arwen's heart? To his misfortune Arwen misunderstood his silence completely. She knew of Aragorn's earlier impatience about their betrothal and marriage. He was mortal and for him time was more important than for her. She believed that she had found the reason for his troubles and said "Aragorn, I know you love me. I have never doubt it. And I too will wait no longer. I will bind myself to you. And", she reached to her neck and loosened the Evenstar, "I will give this to you right now, as a symbol for our love." Arwen tried to place the necklace in Aragorn's hand, but he pushed her back nearly panic. "No, you cannot give me this!" His voice sounded broken and desperate and to Arwen's shock she could see tears in his eyes. This was clearly not the reaction she had expected. But she tried to stay calm, ignoring the silent fear that touched her heart. "Aragorn, please tell me what is wrong. I have never seen you like this before. What ever has happened we will find a way out. I promise you." She curled one arm around the man's shoulder. The calming gesture finally worked. Aragorn found his voice and some of his courage returned. He knew full well that Arwen had a right to know everything, even when it was so difficult to explain. "Arwen, I ...," his voice failed him for a moment. "I don't wish to hurt you. You must believe me, please. What I must say now will perhaps make you hate me. Perhaps you will never speak with me again, but I cannot help myself. I was so certain that I love you, that I want to share the rest of my life with you, but something has changed. I cannot accept your vows and your becoming mortal, I do not deserve any of this while my heart wishes for another. I'm so sorry, but I cannot control this feeling. I can only hope, that you can forgive me one day and we can be friends again. For you will ever have a special place in my heart." Aragorn sighed deeply as he finished the hardest speech in his entire life. Arwen was completely shocked. Her world seemed to break down. Wild thoughts running thru her mind. This could not be. It must be a mistake, a confusion of feelings that would soon be over. But one look in Aragorn's eyes told her that it was true and that nothing would ever be like before. In the end the wisdom and experience of her ages long life won out. She accepted the fact that some things could not be changed no matter how much the change was wanted or tried. Some things could only been accepted, even when the pain seemed to be unbearable. With a strength only possessed by the elves she found her voice again "I forgive you Aragorn. I know in my heart that this must be very hard for you and that you never would hurt me willingly. But tell me who is the one that takes you away from me. It would help me to deal with the situation, if I know that she is someone who is worth of your love and worth of giving up our future for her." Aragorn was surprised. He knew Arwen most of his life. Her fairness and understanding had always impressed him, but never had he imagined that she would forgive him such words immediately. Once again he noticed how special Arwen was and this gave him the courage to follow her wish. "It is not another woman. It's Legolas. He has taken my heart away and I had no chance to refuse. I even not noticed at first. I was thinking that my feelings were only friendship or impression but I cannot deny the truth any longer. I feel love for him, a love stronger than anything I've felt before in my life" Aragorn avoided Arwen's gaze. How would she react? After a few minutes he felt a hand beneath his chin and was forced to look up. Arwen studied his face intensive. "But you are not lucky with this feeling. And this is not only because you was forced to hurt me," she stated. "Tell me everything. You have sacrificed our life together and this should not be for nothing. I will help you to find your happiness. And I cannot deny that I now understand you a little bit better. Legolas' beauty and charm are very special, even among the elves. He is someone easily to fall for. And someone who is very dear to me. He truly deserves a real deep love. Despite my pain it would make me happy to see you two together." Aragorn smiled sadly and after a short hesitation he told Arwen the whole story. "He doesn't accept any mortal man. He seems to hate me and denies the smallest sign of sympathy though I'm quite sure that this is not the truth. If I only knew a way to impress him, to get a chance." Arwen shook her head. "This will be difficult. Legolas has a strong will and his stubbornness is well known. His father had taught him all this bad things about mortal man. This led to many confrontations between King Thranduil and our father in the past. It has changed nothing. And Legolas loves his father and believes him without doubt. But it is told that true love will always find a way. I will think it over to see if I can be helpful. Meanwhile you should talk with father. Surely he knows more details than I." Aragorn breath caught in his throat. Speaking with Lord Elrond about this? Simply tell him that he loved another more than Arwen? Aragorn trusted his foster father completely and knew that he was very tolerate and understanding. But in this special circumstances he was not quite sure that the Elven-Lord would not be angry. Despite his insecurity he thanked Arwen for her understanding and fairness and made his way straight to Elrond's chambers. Now that he had realized that he loved Legolas he was more than before willing to take any risk to win the elf's heart in return.
A few minutes later Aragorn knocked on Elrond's door. After a quite invitation he entered the room and was suddenly aware of the late hour. Perhaps it would be better to wait until next morning. But before Aragorn could excuse himself, Elrond encouraged him to speak. Aragorn started with the explanation, that he was no longer willing to marriage Arwen because he loved another. But he could not find the courage to say the name. While Aragorn was struggling to find the right words, Elrond looked at him with a sad little smile. "You are in love with Legolas aren't you?" The man was surprised. How could the elf know? Before he had a chance to ask, Elrond gave the explanation. "I've feared this since I saw your reaction to the Prince. It was absolute clear to me that he had impressed you very much. Despite this I hoped, that your love for Arwen would be stronger than any other feeling. I was wrong, but I will not hold this against you. There is nothing to be done against true love and the choice of heart. No one can control such things. And it changed nothing between us. I love you as one of my children like I always have and always will. So I offer you my help. What I can do to make you happy in the end will be done." At these words Aragorn sighed in relief. Knowing that his foster father really understood and accepted his decisions eased his heart as much as the offer of help. Now it was no problem to ask for a hint how to win the love of that special, stubborn elf. But Elrond's next words were pure horror to Aragorn. "First you must know that Legolas is betrothed, " At this the man felt the ground shaken under his feet. It took all of his strength not to break down while his mind cried only one word * No! *. Desperation was the only feeling left. Legolas loved another! Aragorn cursed himself. How could he had been so stupid? He should had been thinking of this possibility. It was only normal that someone like the beautiful Elven-Prince would have the affections of many. So it was no big surprise that his heart was already given away. And now he was doomed to travel beside his love for a very long time with this painful knowing. Legolas would be so near and in the same moment unreachable like the stars above. Aragorn was so lost in dark thoughts that he barely heard Elrond continue. "But I'm quite sure that this betrothal is more political than caused by true love. All that I know about Legolas tells me that his heart has never known true love and passion until today. So you may have a chance, because a simple betrothal is nothing that could not be undone. It would cause some problems but it is not impossible," In this moment Elrond noticed how pale Aragorn's face was. "Aragorn?" he asked concerned. "Are you alright? Do you understand what I'm saying?" He laid his hands on the man's shoulders and shook him slightly. Aragorn looked at the elf with eyes that still showed deep desperation. Clearly he had not noticed the true sense of Elrond's words. So the Elven-Lord patiently and slowly repeated himself, never took his gaze from Aragorn's eyes to make sure the man fully understood him. And this time the words made its way through the troubled mind and it were a few special words which blown away desperation and made way for new hope and determination. * You may have a chance! *
TBC
The next chapter will show Legolas' POV. And many thanks to all who reviewed! I hope you will like this chapter.