Author's Note: Hi! I'm changing the rating of this Ending from PG 13 to R,
so beware! It might seem like Kaiba and Mai are together, but they aren't,
you'll just have to see why in the next chap for this Ending. Please help
me think of names for the chapters and e-mail them to me or send it in a
review. Oh, and please re-check Part Five of Ending 1, I added some stuff.
Well, thanks! Now on with the story! ^_^
* * *
Dinner was a quiet affair. Only sounds of clinking silverware and occasional sips of drinks were to be heard. My friends kept on giving me strange and worried glances. I pretended not to notice.
Finally, Tea put her spoon down. "Mai. . .we have to talk."
I took a casual swig of water," What about?" I asked as if I didn't know a thing.
"You know," said Tristan quietly," We heard about what happened today. We all think you need to find some help."
I threw an angry look at Yami, then the rest of them. "Look. . .it was just a minor panic attack. . .I'm okay now." My voice rose a couple of notches.
"But Yami told us that you were practically hyperventilating!" piped up Mokuba. Kaiba clamped his mouth shut. 4 years later and he still acts like a kid ( Mokuba, not Kaiba).
"I was _ not _ hyperventilating! And I won't see any quack! You can't make me!" I knew I was whining and sounded babyish, but I didn't care. They couldn't tell me what to do. No one could.
Bakura sighed," Mai. . .we just want to help you-"
"It won't help." I said in a quiet ,angered voice. I stood up," I need fresh air. . .I'll be back soon. . ." I hurried away, grabbing my coat.
"Mai-wait!" called out Yami as I stormed away.
Of course, I did not listen. But if I had-it would change everything.
* * *
I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
I found myself wandering the cold and snowy streets. I didn't know what I was doing. . .but my feet took me to the bridge in my dream. No one was there. The bridge was desolate, frozen, and empty like my heart. I kept on throwing glances at the other side of the bridge, waiting for Joey to come.
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Rain started to gently fall from the cloudy skies. I leaned against the railing, thinking. It was so quiet. The only sounds that could be heard was the rain softly splattering onto the ground.
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
I kind of hoped that my friends would be out to look for me and take me home. I didn't want to go back and face them. I knew that they were doing it for my own good, talking to me and stuff, but they just couldn't understand that I needed time to think things through. I shivered, spite the jacket on me. It was so cold.
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I'm with you
I stared at the frozen icy waters, hot frustrated tears streaming down my face. I looked at the other end of the bridge, expecting Joey to be there like he was in my dreams. But he was not. I glanced back at the water, breathing hard. My eyes must've been blurry, because I swear I saw Joey next to me. I reached down and tried to grab his hand, but only got a handful of ice cold water. I bit my lip and looked away. Too many memories. I wanted to get the hell out of there, but my legs couldn't move.
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
"Joey-why did you do this to me? Why did you leave me alone? Did I deserve this?" I shouted to the darkness. " Well?! Answer me!" The wind only howled in reply. I sobbed as I sank to the ground, leaning against the rails of the bridge, crying softly to myself. I curled into a small ball and wished I could die.
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I'm with you
So I sat there in the snow, thinking and crying, when finally, it hit me like lightening. I now understood everything. It was all clear. It was my fault Joey died. Why didn't I see this before? Why had I been so dumb?
* * *
I bought several packs of liquor with the money I had on me. Then I got my key to my apartment, sat down, and starting drinking. All of them. A long time ago, I used to believe that drinking helped ease the sorrow and help forget things too painful to bear. Joey helped me quit and I finally stopped, promising never to drink again. But Joey wasn't here, so it didn't matter anymore.
When I took the last sip of the last bottle, I expected the hurt to magically disappear, but it didn't. I buried my face into my hands, wishing everything would go away. Wishing that Joey was alive and everything was back to normal. But wishes were stupid. There was virtually no way they could come true. They were just a bunch of hopeless dreams.
Suddenly, the door opened. It was Kaiba. "God, Mai-we were looking everywhere for you! Are you okay? What happened?"
I stared forlornly at the empty bottles scattered around the floor. "What do you think?"
He stepped up to me and gave me a fierce hug. "Did you drink all of this?" he asked, scanning the room.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"To make everything go away."
"You know that can't happen."
"I know. I just found out."
"Just exactly how bad are you feeling?"
"What do you mean?"
"I want to know if you're so unhappy that your thinking of. . .doing things."
"You mean killing myself?"
"Yes."
"Thanks for the idea."
"What?!"
"I'm just kidding. . .maybe." I joked, giving him a small sad smile.
"How do you feel?"
I looked away and said nothing. I was on the verge of crying again.
"How do you really feel?" he repeated. He gently gripped my chin and turned by head around so that we were staring at each other. Eye to eye.
I jerked by head back and glared at him," Do you want to know how I really feel? I feel dead inside okay?! I wish I had been killed that night instead of Joey!" I was breathing hard. There. I had said it.
"Why?" asked Kaiba softly," Do you feel dead inside?"
"I don't know! Because Joey could have made it without me, but I can't make it without him!"
"Yes you can."
"I don't want to!"
"When did you start feeling this way?"
"When. . .when. . ." I started to weep.
"When what?"
"When I found out that I killed Joey!" I screamed in a raspy voice. I was shaking hard.
Kaiba brought me up close to his chest and hugged me. I could hear his heart beat and smell his cologne. "You didn't kill him."
"Yes I did! This is all my fault Kaiba!" My tears stained his jacket, making a big wet spot as I pressed my cheek to his chest. "It all makes sense. . .it's so clear now. . ."
"Why do you think you killed Joey?"
"Don't you get it Kaiba?!" I yelled. I pushed myself away from him. "If I hadn't agreed taking a ride with him, none of this would happen! If I didn't need to go to the stupid mall, none of this would happen! He only took me there because I had asked him to! He would've avoided the whole accident if I never went along with him. . .I wish I didn't exist!"
Kaiba gripped my shoulders tightly," Look-it was just a terrible, random accident. . .the only person who should be guilty is that bastard who killed him. . .do you understand? You don't know what street Joey might've taken if he had been alone that night. No one does."
Suddenly, I stopped crying. I stared at Kaiba with cold eyes. "You know who killed him."
"Kaiba looked away, letting go of my shoulders," No, I do not."
It was my turn to get him by the shoulders," Yes-you do! Tell me!" My eyes were wild and bright, my shoulders and chest were heaving up and down. I felt a sudden rush of nausea. I had too much to drink. Purple and yellow stars pranced in front of my eyes and dizziness overcame me. I felt feeble, exposed. I moaned softly and fell into Kaiba's arms.
"Okay," whispered Kaiba." I'll tell you who killed Joey."
I weakly turned my head and looked at him through blurred eyes." Who. . .Kaiba? Who . . killed. . .Joey? "
"Danny did."
I blacked out.
* * *
* * *
Dinner was a quiet affair. Only sounds of clinking silverware and occasional sips of drinks were to be heard. My friends kept on giving me strange and worried glances. I pretended not to notice.
Finally, Tea put her spoon down. "Mai. . .we have to talk."
I took a casual swig of water," What about?" I asked as if I didn't know a thing.
"You know," said Tristan quietly," We heard about what happened today. We all think you need to find some help."
I threw an angry look at Yami, then the rest of them. "Look. . .it was just a minor panic attack. . .I'm okay now." My voice rose a couple of notches.
"But Yami told us that you were practically hyperventilating!" piped up Mokuba. Kaiba clamped his mouth shut. 4 years later and he still acts like a kid ( Mokuba, not Kaiba).
"I was _ not _ hyperventilating! And I won't see any quack! You can't make me!" I knew I was whining and sounded babyish, but I didn't care. They couldn't tell me what to do. No one could.
Bakura sighed," Mai. . .we just want to help you-"
"It won't help." I said in a quiet ,angered voice. I stood up," I need fresh air. . .I'll be back soon. . ." I hurried away, grabbing my coat.
"Mai-wait!" called out Yami as I stormed away.
Of course, I did not listen. But if I had-it would change everything.
* * *
I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
I found myself wandering the cold and snowy streets. I didn't know what I was doing. . .but my feet took me to the bridge in my dream. No one was there. The bridge was desolate, frozen, and empty like my heart. I kept on throwing glances at the other side of the bridge, waiting for Joey to come.
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Rain started to gently fall from the cloudy skies. I leaned against the railing, thinking. It was so quiet. The only sounds that could be heard was the rain softly splattering onto the ground.
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
I kind of hoped that my friends would be out to look for me and take me home. I didn't want to go back and face them. I knew that they were doing it for my own good, talking to me and stuff, but they just couldn't understand that I needed time to think things through. I shivered, spite the jacket on me. It was so cold.
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I'm with you
I stared at the frozen icy waters, hot frustrated tears streaming down my face. I looked at the other end of the bridge, expecting Joey to be there like he was in my dreams. But he was not. I glanced back at the water, breathing hard. My eyes must've been blurry, because I swear I saw Joey next to me. I reached down and tried to grab his hand, but only got a handful of ice cold water. I bit my lip and looked away. Too many memories. I wanted to get the hell out of there, but my legs couldn't move.
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
"Joey-why did you do this to me? Why did you leave me alone? Did I deserve this?" I shouted to the darkness. " Well?! Answer me!" The wind only howled in reply. I sobbed as I sank to the ground, leaning against the rails of the bridge, crying softly to myself. I curled into a small ball and wished I could die.
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I'm with you
So I sat there in the snow, thinking and crying, when finally, it hit me like lightening. I now understood everything. It was all clear. It was my fault Joey died. Why didn't I see this before? Why had I been so dumb?
* * *
I bought several packs of liquor with the money I had on me. Then I got my key to my apartment, sat down, and starting drinking. All of them. A long time ago, I used to believe that drinking helped ease the sorrow and help forget things too painful to bear. Joey helped me quit and I finally stopped, promising never to drink again. But Joey wasn't here, so it didn't matter anymore.
When I took the last sip of the last bottle, I expected the hurt to magically disappear, but it didn't. I buried my face into my hands, wishing everything would go away. Wishing that Joey was alive and everything was back to normal. But wishes were stupid. There was virtually no way they could come true. They were just a bunch of hopeless dreams.
Suddenly, the door opened. It was Kaiba. "God, Mai-we were looking everywhere for you! Are you okay? What happened?"
I stared forlornly at the empty bottles scattered around the floor. "What do you think?"
He stepped up to me and gave me a fierce hug. "Did you drink all of this?" he asked, scanning the room.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"To make everything go away."
"You know that can't happen."
"I know. I just found out."
"Just exactly how bad are you feeling?"
"What do you mean?"
"I want to know if you're so unhappy that your thinking of. . .doing things."
"You mean killing myself?"
"Yes."
"Thanks for the idea."
"What?!"
"I'm just kidding. . .maybe." I joked, giving him a small sad smile.
"How do you feel?"
I looked away and said nothing. I was on the verge of crying again.
"How do you really feel?" he repeated. He gently gripped my chin and turned by head around so that we were staring at each other. Eye to eye.
I jerked by head back and glared at him," Do you want to know how I really feel? I feel dead inside okay?! I wish I had been killed that night instead of Joey!" I was breathing hard. There. I had said it.
"Why?" asked Kaiba softly," Do you feel dead inside?"
"I don't know! Because Joey could have made it without me, but I can't make it without him!"
"Yes you can."
"I don't want to!"
"When did you start feeling this way?"
"When. . .when. . ." I started to weep.
"When what?"
"When I found out that I killed Joey!" I screamed in a raspy voice. I was shaking hard.
Kaiba brought me up close to his chest and hugged me. I could hear his heart beat and smell his cologne. "You didn't kill him."
"Yes I did! This is all my fault Kaiba!" My tears stained his jacket, making a big wet spot as I pressed my cheek to his chest. "It all makes sense. . .it's so clear now. . ."
"Why do you think you killed Joey?"
"Don't you get it Kaiba?!" I yelled. I pushed myself away from him. "If I hadn't agreed taking a ride with him, none of this would happen! If I didn't need to go to the stupid mall, none of this would happen! He only took me there because I had asked him to! He would've avoided the whole accident if I never went along with him. . .I wish I didn't exist!"
Kaiba gripped my shoulders tightly," Look-it was just a terrible, random accident. . .the only person who should be guilty is that bastard who killed him. . .do you understand? You don't know what street Joey might've taken if he had been alone that night. No one does."
Suddenly, I stopped crying. I stared at Kaiba with cold eyes. "You know who killed him."
"Kaiba looked away, letting go of my shoulders," No, I do not."
It was my turn to get him by the shoulders," Yes-you do! Tell me!" My eyes were wild and bright, my shoulders and chest were heaving up and down. I felt a sudden rush of nausea. I had too much to drink. Purple and yellow stars pranced in front of my eyes and dizziness overcame me. I felt feeble, exposed. I moaned softly and fell into Kaiba's arms.
"Okay," whispered Kaiba." I'll tell you who killed Joey."
I weakly turned my head and looked at him through blurred eyes." Who. . .Kaiba? Who . . killed. . .Joey? "
"Danny did."
I blacked out.
* * *