Upstairs in Jeff's room, Matt's POV.
Jeff heard the door opening. "Hey Matt how you doing?" So that's how he's gonna play it, I thought o myself, like nothing happened. "I'm doing ok" I replied. "Rough night?" I asked sarcastically.
"Look Matt, if you came here for another 'talk' don't bother, I'm not in the mood." Jeff rummaged in his bag for his clothes and started getting dressed.
"Is this how your gonna be from now on? Running away from your problems?" Jeff grinned, "What makes you think I have problems Matty?"
He turned to the mirror and frowned. He would have to do something about the dark circles under his eyes, he thought to himself. I sighed as I watched my brother study himself.
"Oh nothing at all would make me think that Jeff." I got up and grabbed his shoulder. "Look at yourself man, you don't look good. You've totally withdrawn yourself from your friends, your girlfriend, and me. I see strange girls crawling out of your bedroom at night crying, you rarely make it to the arena on time and you don't even care?"
Jeff went to the bed and sat down tiredly. "I've always told you Matt that you wouldn't understand because I don't understand myself at the moment. I have no explanations for my behaviour apart from telling you how I feel. There's darkness in my soul, which stops me from being happy. All it cares about is satisfying its own need before others." Jeff looked me in the eyes, pleading with me to understand. "Yeah I hurt the girl in my room last night, but that was not my intention to begin with. She was a willing partner, but I didn't want that. I wanted someone to challenge, to dominate because I have no control over myself so I wanted to control her. The things I did to her would make you sick so I can't tell you what was done, but Matt I didn't know what I was doing? You believe me don't you?"
I shook my head, "How can you NOT know what your doing to this girl. Your right, I don't understand your actions, but it doesn't mean I wont sit down and work through it with you."
"Matt there's something else I've been meaning to tell you and Lita for a while now. I'm breaking up Team X-Treme." I started to protest but Jeff held up his hand in silence. "Ill still be around bro, but I want to be on my own. Vince agreed and is starting me in singles matches next week. You and Lita will be a team still."
I knew I should have left the room then because I could start to feel myself get angry. "So that's always gonna be your solution isn't it, to walk away from me, to walk away from what we built together like it means fucking nothing to you anymore. You are fooling yourself then Jeff, because I know that this team meant everything to you and when you turn around in a month or so and realize you want it back perhaps WE wont want it that way anymore." Anger and frustration made me say the next words "You're a fuckup Jeff and I don't know why I bother with you"
I could see the hurt and tears in Jeff's eyes and immediately regretted my words. I groaned inwardly, "Jeff, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that"
Jeff started walking into the bathroom and said in a whisper, "You know what Matt, in a strange way I know you did. In your eyes ill always be the crazy little brother with some problem or another, who will always be a burden on your shoulders. Well I'm releasing you form this. Maybe you'll be happier then and so will I. " Jeff closed the door and I could hear him slump to the floor trying to keep his sobs as quiet as possible so I couldn't hear.
I grabbed the first thing I saw which happened to be the lamp and threw it against the wall taking pleasure in watching it shatter.
Jeff's POV
I could hear Matt going nuts in the next room. I could hear things shattering and breaking, him punching the wall and cursing his head off. Finally I heard him turn on the radio, the familiar lyrics to a song came on. 'Pull me out of body don't want it don't want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I'm lost in,
A structure that's collapsing don't want it cast into,
Maker take the body don't want it wants me'
I listened to the lyrics as I reached over for my trusty blade. This time thought I think I went to far. I could start to feel myself get weaker and weaker and my cries getting softer. Finally I heard the last verse to the song as I let out one last scream before everything went black.
'Dark for fear of failure an inner gloom as wide as an eye and fermenting roiling hate death grip in my veins unveiling rancid petals flowering forth foul nectar the space between a blink and a tear
...death blooms.'
Jeff heard the door opening. "Hey Matt how you doing?" So that's how he's gonna play it, I thought o myself, like nothing happened. "I'm doing ok" I replied. "Rough night?" I asked sarcastically.
"Look Matt, if you came here for another 'talk' don't bother, I'm not in the mood." Jeff rummaged in his bag for his clothes and started getting dressed.
"Is this how your gonna be from now on? Running away from your problems?" Jeff grinned, "What makes you think I have problems Matty?"
He turned to the mirror and frowned. He would have to do something about the dark circles under his eyes, he thought to himself. I sighed as I watched my brother study himself.
"Oh nothing at all would make me think that Jeff." I got up and grabbed his shoulder. "Look at yourself man, you don't look good. You've totally withdrawn yourself from your friends, your girlfriend, and me. I see strange girls crawling out of your bedroom at night crying, you rarely make it to the arena on time and you don't even care?"
Jeff went to the bed and sat down tiredly. "I've always told you Matt that you wouldn't understand because I don't understand myself at the moment. I have no explanations for my behaviour apart from telling you how I feel. There's darkness in my soul, which stops me from being happy. All it cares about is satisfying its own need before others." Jeff looked me in the eyes, pleading with me to understand. "Yeah I hurt the girl in my room last night, but that was not my intention to begin with. She was a willing partner, but I didn't want that. I wanted someone to challenge, to dominate because I have no control over myself so I wanted to control her. The things I did to her would make you sick so I can't tell you what was done, but Matt I didn't know what I was doing? You believe me don't you?"
I shook my head, "How can you NOT know what your doing to this girl. Your right, I don't understand your actions, but it doesn't mean I wont sit down and work through it with you."
"Matt there's something else I've been meaning to tell you and Lita for a while now. I'm breaking up Team X-Treme." I started to protest but Jeff held up his hand in silence. "Ill still be around bro, but I want to be on my own. Vince agreed and is starting me in singles matches next week. You and Lita will be a team still."
I knew I should have left the room then because I could start to feel myself get angry. "So that's always gonna be your solution isn't it, to walk away from me, to walk away from what we built together like it means fucking nothing to you anymore. You are fooling yourself then Jeff, because I know that this team meant everything to you and when you turn around in a month or so and realize you want it back perhaps WE wont want it that way anymore." Anger and frustration made me say the next words "You're a fuckup Jeff and I don't know why I bother with you"
I could see the hurt and tears in Jeff's eyes and immediately regretted my words. I groaned inwardly, "Jeff, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that"
Jeff started walking into the bathroom and said in a whisper, "You know what Matt, in a strange way I know you did. In your eyes ill always be the crazy little brother with some problem or another, who will always be a burden on your shoulders. Well I'm releasing you form this. Maybe you'll be happier then and so will I. " Jeff closed the door and I could hear him slump to the floor trying to keep his sobs as quiet as possible so I couldn't hear.
I grabbed the first thing I saw which happened to be the lamp and threw it against the wall taking pleasure in watching it shatter.
Jeff's POV
I could hear Matt going nuts in the next room. I could hear things shattering and breaking, him punching the wall and cursing his head off. Finally I heard him turn on the radio, the familiar lyrics to a song came on. 'Pull me out of body don't want it don't want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I'm lost in,
A structure that's collapsing don't want it cast into,
Maker take the body don't want it wants me'
I listened to the lyrics as I reached over for my trusty blade. This time thought I think I went to far. I could start to feel myself get weaker and weaker and my cries getting softer. Finally I heard the last verse to the song as I let out one last scream before everything went black.
'Dark for fear of failure an inner gloom as wide as an eye and fermenting roiling hate death grip in my veins unveiling rancid petals flowering forth foul nectar the space between a blink and a tear
...death blooms.'