Authors Notes: Here's chapter four. I was finally able to get it typed up. I'm really sorry for taking so long. Recently I've had lots of schoolwork and I've rewritten this chapter quite a number of times. I hope this ending is satisfactory. I really want to thank everyone who has been reading and those who have reviewed. It's all appreciated very much. Arigatou gozimasu!

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon.

Yamato sat on the couch along with Hikari. Quickly he stole a glance at Taichi who sat across the room. He frowned. Taichi certainly wasn't acting like his usual self. He seemed so distant, as if his mind were somewhere it shouldn't have been. By now he had thought Taichi would be running around and bouncing off the walls with excitement. This wasn't the Taichi he knew just four days earlier. Now he was acting the exact opposite. It was quite frightening, and the thought sent a shiver down Yamato's spine. Despite acting like he hated it earlier, Yamato really missed Taichi's optimistic and cheery Christmas attitude. Now there was none.

Are you really Taichi? I want Taichi…

"Kids it's time for bed." Called Mrs. Yagami. Yamato glanced around at the clock. It had just left a few minutes past ten.

"Mum do we have to go to bed now?" complained Hikari.

"Yes you do. Besides if you don't go to bed soon then Santa won't come."

The brown-headed girl sighed. "You still don't get it do you?"

"Now who wants to help me prepare the cookies and milk for Santa? How about you Taichi, you usually love doing that."

"Okaasan I'm thirteen years old. I don't believe in some fat guy in a red suit okay. Besides what's the goddamn point when dad eats them anyway?" he replied irritably

"Yagami Taichi!"

"Well it's true isn't it?"

"But Hikari is-"

"It's okay Okaasan. I don't believe in Santa Claus. I've known for the past three years that he doesn't exist."

Her mother frowned. "Hikari-chan…"

Yamato gazed from the two children to their mother. He was quite surprised that Taichi had refused to help after all the excitement he had displayed earlier. He was pretty sure that the reason Mrs. Yagami looked so sad was not because her children didn't want to help, but because they were both growing up. Personally he had never really thought about it before but it must have been hard for parents to watch their children leave the land of make believe and imagination and enter the cold world of reality.

"Well I'm off to bed now," the younger girl confirmed before giving her mother hug and running off to her room.

"Yamato are you coming?" Taichi asked as he lifted himself from the couch.

The blond boy gazed at him then back to Mrs. Yagami. "I uh think I'll help your mum prepare the food first…"

The brunette nodded and walked away. Yamato frowned. He noticed the twang of pain hidden in the boy's features. There's definitely something wrong with him…

"Yamato?" He turned around and followed the woman into the kitchen. Mrs. Yagami had found herself quite shocked by his offer but didn't wish to offend him by asking him why he wanted to help. Instead she asked him if he ever did anything like that back home.

"Never." Came his reply as he poured the milk into a large glass.

"Oh we do every year but I suppose Taichi and Hikari are getting to old for this sort of thing…"

Yamato detected the hurt in the woman's voice and instantly gave her his sympathy. He hated pitying others the same way he hated people pitying him. To be honest he though of it as endless cycle.

"I'm surprised that Taichi didn't want to help, usually he loves everything to do with Christmas."

Yes and I bet I'm the one who destroyed that happiness for him…

"He's been acting a bit odd lately."

Yamato bit his lip. "Um how so?"

"It's strange, one minute he's all excited and the next he's all down in the dumps." The older woman replied. "I suppose it's just normal teenage hormones kicking in. Hopefully he'll cheer up by tomorrow. He's loved the holiday so much and it really wouldn't be the same without his cheerful ways. Normally we go to my sister's house of Christmas but this year we decided just to stay home. I'm wondering now if it was such a good idea. When I first suggested it to him he seemed really excited about staying home but now…"

"I-I'm sure that's not the reason." Yamato stuttered guiltily.

"Well maybe now that you're here he'll cheer up. He was really excited about you staying." Mrs. Yagami gave a small laugh. "You should have seen the look that came upon his face when I told him you could stay."

Yamato couldn't take this anymore, it was his fault that Taichi was so sad. He was the one who had reduced his best friend to his own pitiful level of depression. How he hated himself for doing so… Tightly he clenched his chest. He couldn't take this anymore. He had to get away. He had to escape.

"There all done." Stated Mrs. Yagami placing the plate down on the counter with a small smile on her face. "Arigato gozaimasu Yamato-kun for helping me. Well it's getting late you better hurry up and get to bed."

"Uh su-sure…"

"He is happy when he is with you so I have faith that he will cheer up with you around." The woman said merrily.

Yamato physically felt sick. His whole world felt as if it was crashing down with the woman's words. And for a moment he wished to strangle her and force her to take that lie back.

"Oyasami nasi."

"Ha-Hai."

He walked slowly towards the room and stopped outside the door. His heart was racing fasted than it ever had before. God it hurt more than he expected. With his trembling hand outstretched he opened the door handle and walked in. Quietly he closed the door behind him.

"Ta- Taichi."

The brunette was lying on the bed. Noticing the other boy's presence he sat up. "Are you coming to bed?"

Wi-with you? Mentally Yamato slapped himself knowing fine well what Taichi had meant.

"I uh well sure." He lifted up his bag and pulled out a pair of pyjamas. Looking back up he realised that Taichi was all ready undressing. Instantly he turned around in embarrassment. He had seen Taichi undressing before but back then they were both in different situations. Personally he had never paid any attention to it before, not in this way anyway.

Quickly he changed while trying to block the thoughts that were all ready trying to wield themselves into his mind.

"You ready?" asked Taichi who was standing only in his underwear.

Yamato eyes widened and within seconds his whole face was red. Get a grip Yamato! It's not like you've never seen him in his underwear before! I shouldn't even be thinking like this not after what I've done! It's wrong!

Yamato was to sleep in the top bunk bed while Taichi slept in the bottom. The brunette switched off the light and Yamato climbed into bed. He gave a soft sigh. He was never going to get to sleep now, not with all the things going on his mind. This just proves how awful your life turns out when you start pitying someone like me.

Mournfully he curled into a small ball and wished so much that he had just gone to Shibuya with his Otou-san. Thinking of the beautiful smile on his friend's face made him happy but now he couldn't stand it. It was driving him insane. He continued to mentally abuse himself as more and more thoughts of distress followed. He was attracted to his best friend and he punished himself the most for this. 'You hurt your loved ones the most.' Words he had never paid attention to before, but now he was fully aware of them.

Will running away stop me from hurting people? I don't want to hurt Taichi anymore, but I don't know how to stop… All I want to do is get the hell away from here!

And let the one you love suffer alone?

Shut up!

***********************************************************

With each minute Yamato grew more and more distressed. He couldn't get the image of Taichi sleeping below him out of his head. What if Taichi found out he was thinking about things like this? He began to tremble in dread.

You fucking queer, I only hung out with you cause I felt sorry for you! I don't even consider you my bloody friend! God what the hell was I thinking inviting you to spent Christmas here?! All you've managed to do is ruin it! I hate you! I don't ever want to see you again!

Yamato grasped the bed sheets tightly. Deep down he knew Taichi was incapable of saying such things to anybody. Even when they were practically trying to kill each other in the Digital world he had never said anything as harsh as that.

He needed to apologize. He desperately needed to apologize to him. But he was afraid that he might not be able to bring himself to do it. He missed Gabumon. He missed the encouragement the little Digimon gave him. Gabumon I miss you so much, but what do I do? Gabumon I need you…

He dug his nails deep into his flesh as he grasped tightly hold of his arms. Small drops of tears ran down his face. I hate myself

Below Taichi's ears suddenly perked up. He slowly sat up and listened. It was sobs, the soft sobs of Yamato. "Ya-Yamato?" he queried gently. "Yamato?"

"Huh?" the blond boy raised his head.

"Yamato are you still awake?"

He remained silent and dug his head deeper into his chest.

"Yamati what's wrong?"

Nothing.

"Come on please tell me. I deserve to know, I'm your best friend."

"I-I'm sorry." came a muffled reply that the other boy could barely make out.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"For-for everything! For now, for what happened in the Digital world. Just everything!"

Taichi frowned slightly. "Yamato you don't have to be sorry for that. It's all in the past now."

"No. No it's isn't! It's all happening right now!"

"Yamato…"

"All I've done so far is cause you pain! I was a jerk back to you in the Digital world and I still am now. I've ruined everything for you. You invited me here out of pity and now I've destroyed your Christmas. Taichi I-I I'm just so sorry. I never meant to be such a burden. I never meant for you to pity me. I'm so sorry!"

There were a few moments of silence before Taichi spoke. "Is that the only reason you think I invited you here? All out of pity? Baka! How can you be so stupid!?" he cried, his voice quaking.

Yamato fidgeted nervously with the sheets as a frown of quilt settled upon his lips. "Then- then why did you invite me over?"

"I thought someone with Friendship as their main trait would know that!"

"Taichi-"

"I invited you here because I was worried about you. After all do you really thing I would leave my best friend alone to spent Christmas in some hotel room? All I wanted to do was make you happy! I wanted you to forget your sorrows and be happy. All I wanted was you to be happy… I thought if we shared a great day together then you would thankful…"

"I-I am thankful!" Yamato called out in panic.

"Then why do you act like you don't even care?"

"I-I try..."

Tears began to run from the tanned boy's eyes. "Why? Why are you so sad?! Do you really hate me that much that you don't want to be here?"

"No Taichi, I love spending time with you! Most of the best memories of my life are all with you!"

"If that's true, then why aren't you happy to be with me right now? Why are you sorry for the past? Do you really regret everything that's happened that much?"

"No Taichi I don't regret it! I didn't mean it like that!" the blonde boy cried out.

"Then what did you mean then?"

"I-I'm just confused."

"About what?"
"I…I don't know…"

"I thought you would have realized by now that keeping your pain all to yourself doesn't make it go away. Honestly most of the time it just makes it worst." The brunette stated quietly as he pulled his legs towards his chest.

"I know. I just didn't want you to worry about me."

"You thought I would pity you. Surely you should know by now that I think of you higher than that."

"I don't seem to know a lot then…" He replied weakly.

"No. You don't. But still you are by best and I understand that you never intentionally meant to hurt me. Just as I never meant to hurt you."

"But-but you never hurt me."

Slowly he closed his eyes, letting his head rest against his knees. "Then why are you crying?"

There was silence for another few moments.

"I-I don't know."

"Yamato."

"Na-nani?"

"Next time you are sad… When you're sad and feel like crying, you'll tell me, won't you?" he asked gently.

"O-okay,"

"Promise?"

"I promise."

His blue eyes opened wide as he stared into the darkness. The words came out of his mouth without any needed thought. "Did I ruin Christmas for you?"

"Of course you didn't."

"Why were you sad earlier?"

"I didn't notice I was." Replied Taichi bluntly.

"Your Mum was worried."

"Why?"

"Because you didn't help her prepare cookies."

The brunette gave a small sigh. "There's no point feeding something that doesn't exist unless she was referring to my Dad when she made them."

"I know but you helped her before, even when you all ready knew e wasn't real." The blond boy added.

"Doesn't make much of a difference does it?"

"But all those years before you still helped. Why stop today?"

Taichi sighed growing quite irritated with the stupid questions. "I just couldn't be bothered today. It's no big deal."

"It scared me." Yamato replied nervously.

"What scared you?"

"Of how much you've changed. Just two days before you were over the moon in excitement about Christmas, now you're acting like you couldn't care less. It-it's just now like you."

"I just couldn't be bothered, that's all."

"Then have I really ruined the happiest day of the year for you?"

"No, I'm happy that you are here. I'm just worried about you."

"I'm worried about you too…"

"Then I guess we'll just have to keep reassuring each other that we're both all right then." Stated Taichi in a light-hearted tone

Yamato blinked curiously. "What do you mean?"

Taichi quietly slipped out of his bed and climbed the ladders to the top bunk were Yamato lay. It was dark but the cracks between the blinds allowed to the bright moonlight to pass through them. Yamato sat up and stared at his friend, the moonlight illuminating his features. He blushed deeply at the sight of him but thankfully the shadows hid most of his face. Yamato's breath caught in his throat as he felt Taichi's finger slide through his own. He gulped nervously and looked up into Taichi's dazzling eyes. They were pleading, they were pleading for something, but what for?

"Yamato this whole thing started a few days ago when I brought the subject of Christmas up. It's obvious that you don't like it. Tell me why." Taichi asked slowly. Frowning, Yamato turned away. The way Taichi made him see him as more a psychologist than a friend. But inside he knew that Taichi was his friend and of course was only trying to help. "To be honest it probably isn't even that big of deal."

"I'm sure if it means this much to you then it must be important."

Nervously Yamato fidgeted and that hollow voice returned reminding him that he still didn't know what he wanted.

"Yamato."

Taking a deep breath he slowly began to explain his attitude. "Well it basically happened when I was seven years old. My okassan and otousan were still married and I still lived with my otoutosan. Takeru always got so over-excited about things. He would wake up at 5am on Christmas morning then climb up the ladders to my bed and wake me up. I knew my parents would have had a fit if he had went into their room at that time so I let him sleep in my bed so he wouldn't cry. I would usually tell him stories until he had fallen sleep then I'd wake him at more appropriate time, one were my parents wouldn't have killed him. His face would light up and he'd cry about Santa Claus having come the night before. I just had to humor him about it."

"Why? Didn't you believe in Santa when you were little?" asked Taichi curiously.

Yamato shook his head. "No I learnt he didn't exist when I was four or five. I heard my parents one night talking about it. They were arguing over the expensiveness of the gifts that they had to buy. My mum brought up the subject of really wanting there to be a Santa so they wouldn't have to bother paying for them. Anyway that's how I found out. But still it didn't stop me from enjoying Christmas with my little brother. I was content as long as Takeru was happy."

"Yeah you always did that in the Digital world as well." Taichi added as he flashed the blond a smile. This made Yamato blush and he was reminded that he and Taichi were still holding hands. His hands were sweat driven with anxiety and he knew how disgusting it was have felt for the other boy. But still Taichi held on.

Apprehensively he began to continue. "Anyway as I was saying, Takeru was really excited about the whole ordeal. We received nice presents that year despite my parent's lack of money. But what I was most thankful for was that my parents weren't arguing that day. Now when I look back, I respect them for not ruining Christmas by yelling. But I could never forgive them for what they did next. I finally thought that the arguing between them had stopped but a few days later it ended up getting worse and worse.

"They were both shouting and screaming so loudly that it frightened me. Not nearly as much as Takeru was though. He was only four years old and had no idea what was really happening. They didn't even notice when he burst into tears right in front of them. So I grabbed his hand and took him into our room. I took him into my bed, the place were he felt most at peace. I did what ever I could to try calm him down but as I said before the shouting was loud. I sang to him, trying to sooth his nerves. And all the while I repeated 'Everything will be all right' over and over again. Of course this was a lie. I had absolutely no idea if things would turn out okay for us. It was only a short while after, I realized out meaningless my words truly were."

"After Takeru had fallen asleep in started to cry. Secretly I envied my brother. I was there to comfort him but who was there to comfort me? A few weeks later my parents split up. For awhile they continually argued over who would custody of Takeru and I. Both were desperate. Sometimes I thought they only wanted custody over us just to spite the other. Finally they came to the conclusion that as both single parents they couldn't afford to look after both kids. So they decided to split us up. My Okassan got Takeru and I went with Otousan."

"I remember that day so clearly, it was day we would part our ways. I hugged Takeru before I left. I don't think I've ever held him as tightly as on that day. But out parents got in the way and tore us apart. The one thing I loved most in this world had been taken away from me, as well as my childhood."

"Yamato…"

Tears ran down his face from his ocean blue eyes. Taichi had no idea what to do or say to his friend, but he could imagine how Yamato felt, besides the look of shock and sorrow on his face probably explained it all.

Yamato.

"I-I've tried for years to put the memory behind me but the more I try the more it hurts me. That Christmas had been the best day of my life and my parents went and ruined it. Why did have to be then? Why couldn't it have been some other day? Another day not so close to my happiest one!"

"Yamato I'm so sorry."

"Taichi stop saying that!" cried the other boy as he broke into a fit of sobs. "You-you have nothing to be sorry for. You were just trying to help me and again I was to blind to see it. See th-this was why I didn't want to spend Christmas with you, because I knew I would ruin it for you. I ruin everything. And even if I did have a good time, I'm sure something would come along to destroy it."

"But just because it happened once doesn't mean that it's going to happen again" stated Taichi still trying to clam his best friend.

"Trust me Taichi it will. Everything goes wrong in my life and it's all my own fault!" His hand slipped through Taichi's as he lowered his face. "God I'm so pathetic."

Tears now began to fill Taichi's brown eyes. He couldn't bare to see his best friend like this! He felt Yamato's pain and there was no way he could describe how much it hurt. "Why-why are you always putting yourself down like this?" wept Taichi.

"Because it's true, it's all true-"

"No! You just force yourself to believe this." Argued the brunette. "I mean how many people can say that they were transported to another dimension were they teamed up with monsters to save the world! An even if none of that had of happened, you are still special."

"Yeah right." Yamato half snorted through his sobs. "How the hell can I be special if I have nothing worth while to live for?"

Those words shook Taichi deeply. He has nothing to life for but what about…?

"Everything that's good in my life ends up being destroyed. What's the point of being alive if everything you love is repeatedly taken away from you?"

Yamato stopped waiting for an answer from Taichi but none came. He gazed up to see that Taichi now had his head hung low. He stared in confusion. "Ta-Taichi?"

"You shouldn't be so pessimistic about life so much. You have many things to live for, you're just too blind too see them." Said Taichi in a toneless voice.

"What-what do you mean? How would you know that I have things to live for?!"

"Because I do."

"But…"
"You shouldn't be so selfish, and be happy for what you have."

The boy sighed. "If I do find the happiness I desire, it shall soon be taken from me."

"Don't you realise that's it's all in your mind? The people that care about you aren't they enough to live for?"

"Yes but they will…"

"Let me guess, be taken away from you?"

He didn't reply.

"For godssake Yamato wake up to reality! Don't you see what's going on around you? Don't you see that I care?! Don't you see that I love-" Instantly he stopped.

Yamato stared slightly shocked while replaying what his friend had just said. Taichi was turned away from him. Had Taichi been about to say that he loved him? No, there was no way. Nobody could love him and if Taichi really had said that, he would have just meant it as a friend just as Yamato loved Taichi as friend. But of course as well as this Yamato loved him as something even more.

A few minutes had past and neither had said anything. Yamato had a great urgeto call out Taichi's name but his parents were in the next room and he suspected that they wouldn't be very please if their guest went about shouting in the middle of night. Bust still he had to do something. Taichi looked so sad and although he couldn't see his face he knew his friend was crying. Desperately he wanted to touch him, to hug him, to kiss his soft lips-

Mentally he slapped himself and again reminded himself that such a thing was never going to happen. He cursed softly under his breath. He felt worthless as well as selfish. All this time he had being worrying about himself when Taichi needed him. But he couldn't understand why the brunette was so upset. It didn't make since. Nothing really made sense anymore. Taichi…

The pounding of his heart increased as the longing to tell Taichi of how he really felt grew stronger. His heart was being squeezed by own anxiety and he felt as if he would rather die than take anymore of this pain. Gabumon I need help…

He wanted nothing more than to make Taichi happy. It hurt so much seeing the one you love in pain. He wanted to tell him, tell him of how he truly felt. But those words from earlier still echoed in his mind. He bit his lip and clenched his fists. This is too hard to take, not even in the Digital world were things this hard. Taichi he was always so happy then. Perhaps it would have been best if we never became friends at all, that we still hated each other. This way we wouldn't be hurting each other. You hurt the one you love the most…

But his self-conscious found doubt in these words. This was a lie of course. Yamato cherished his friendship with Taichi deeply and if asked he would never take those happy memories back. The future has come so quickly. Could-could it be possible that I have to move on? That I should tell him the truth? God, I'm so fucked up. If anybody saw this they would urinate themselves from laughing so much. But still I know I'll regret if I don't say something. That's what Gabumon always told me. If it wasn't for him I would still be stuck in that dark cave, even dead perhaps. You showed me how much my friendship with Taichi really meant to me. Your words…Your words meant so much to me…both of you…

"Ta-Taichi?" he called out quietly.

The brunette looked up, a painful look of sorrow on his face. Yamato winced slightly. "I know you'll probably get mad if I say this again, but I'm sorry."

"You don't have to-"

"I know but I am. I-I just have to ask you something." informed Yamato, his muscles tensioning. "Earlier when you were telling me that I had more to live for, where-where you about to say that you… that you loved me?"

"Yamato I didn't mean to-"

"Taichi honestly did you mean what you said?" cried Yamato desperation.

"Yes!" The boy flung his head down into his knees and threw his arms over his head unable to face the expression that he was sure would come across his friends face.

Yamato sat in bewilderment. Taichi really did love him? Such a thing was way too good to be true. It at the end of his mind. He took a deep breath, his heart needing time to recover couldn't be really, could it? Yamato was about to pinch himself to make sure he was awake he reality but instantly realised that the emotions he had felt today were all to real to ever be considered a dream. Tears welled up in his eyes and he felt an explosion of happiness erupt from his heart. Now that he knew the truth he knew that he shouldn't be afraid, yet fear was tingling from the so-called explosion.

"Ta-Taichi."

The other boy remained in the same position. "Just say it! Please just get it over with and yell at me. I can't take this trepidation!"

"I won't."

"Why? Why not?! Is it because you want to hurt me? Is it because you want to make me suffer in guilt?! If you want to kick the shit out of me then go ahead! I know that physically I'm stronger than you but I promise I won't fight back!"

"I won't."

"Then-then what do you want me to do?" the brunette sobbed loudly ignoring the fact that his parents where in the next room.

Yamato swallowed nervously. "Taichi I-I have to tell you something."

Taichi glanced upwards, recognising the distress within his voice.

"Taichi I love you too." The brunette stared in shock unable to believe his hears. "I-I've had feelings for you awhile now, I was just too afraid to face them. At first I just thought it was normal hormones but I knew that it wasn't even if I didn't admit it at first. Now I know the truth and I can finally say it, Taichi I love you."

"Ya-Yamato do you really mean that?" he asked hopefully.

The other boy gave a small smile. "Of course."

Instantly Taichi threw his arms. "God Yamato you don't know how long I've wanted to tell you!"

Yamato gave a soft laugh. "I'm sure I can imagine."

"I-I was afraid if I told you, you would hate me."

Yamato nodded. "I was afraid that you wouldn't to be friends anymore, horribly afraid."

Taichi flashed his usual large smile. "Well I guess we don't have to be afraid anymore because we both know the truth now."

Yamato blushed. "Yeah."

"Yamato there's something else I need to do." Stated Taichi.

"What is-" The blond was suddenly silenced by the pair soft lips being pressed against his own. His tension faded and he let his shoulders drop. The tanned boy slowly wrapped his arms around his back and pulled him closer, the kiss becoming more intense. Quickly he wrapped his arms around the other boy and pushed him on to the bed, his heart racing rapidly. Never had he felt so exhilarated and strangely he knew that Taichi felt the same way. They parted slowly as the need for air consumed them. Yamato breathed deeply. "Taichi."

Both blushed and they gazed into each other's eyes admiring how beautiful the other was.

"That-that was nice." Yamato said sheepishly.

Gently Taichi placed his hand on Yamato's face and softly caressed it with his hand. "God you're so beautiful. Even when we were fighting in the Digital world I thought so."

"Re-really?"

"Uh-huh, although back then I would have never had admitted it." He said giving a small laugh.

"I always remember being jealous of you in the Digital world." Admitted the blond boy.

Taichi blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah everybody used to love you, they used to always look up and admire you. It didn't bother me that much but I got jealous now and again."

Taichi chuckled. "Is that why you always started fights with me?"

"Well I-I had other reasons as well." Cried Yamato turning red in embarrassment. "And besides you started some of the arguments yourself!"

"Oh really?" slyly he pushed Yamato back down into the bed. "Then I guess we'll have to fight this one out again." Playfully he pressed his lips against Yamato and again they kissed. Both wrapped their arms tightly around the other as they began to make out. Scrupulously Taichi ran his hand through his loves hair. He had always loved Yamato's hair. While his messily stuck out everywhere Yamato's was neat and extremely soft. Humorously he thought that Yamato would stop as he had plainly stated in the Digital world that if anyone messed his hair up they would die. As their kiss ended Taichi couldn't help but notice the clock on his bookshelf.

"It's Christmas!" Yamato almost had a heart attack as the boy yelled in his ear. Quickly Taichi jumped down from the ladder and ran over to the window. He pushed back the blinds to reveal that it was snowing outside.

"Wahoo!"

Yamato gave a small laugh. "The fact that it's snowing out side at this exact moment is kinda cliché but nice nonetheless."

"It really is beautiful." Sighed Taichi dreamily.

Not as beautiful as you... Yamato thought to himself.

"I could stare out this window forever."

"That's nice but don't you think you should come back to bed since it's-"

"Taichi! What are you boys doing in there? It's only 12:30am!" boomed his fathers voice.

Taichi sweatdropped. "I-I forgot about the time." Leaving the curtains opened he returned to bed.

"I really can't believe it's Christmas all ready."

"Yeah and you seem happy about it so I guess that means I didn't ruin Christmas for you after all."

"Yama I all ready told you that you didn't ruin it for me."

"I know, I'm just stating the obvious." The blond boy giggled.

Taichi smiled. "Baka."

Yamato lay down and gazed out the window, instantly he was reminded of Christmas Eve six years ago. In away it felt the same with the exception of Takeru not being here. But he didn't mind, after all he had Taichi now.

"Maybe we should try to sleep now. If we make anymore noise then I think your dad will have a fit."

Playfully Taichi pressed the tip of his finger on Yamato's nose. "Maybe…. Why are scared?"

Yamato snorted jokingly. "I've faced monsters over 100ft tall, I'm sure I can handle your dad."

"I don't know, you haven't seen my Otousan when he's mad." Declared Taichi folding his arms.

"Well I guess you'll have to protect me then."

"Of course. Well uh… as long as he doesn't beat me up first."

Both boys laughed quietly then finally settled down. Yamato had noticed that Taichi still hadn't returned to bed, he was about to say something to him when Taichi's arms suddenly embraced him. He blushed and smiled, resting his head on the pillow. He felt so happy, so happy that it felt strange. He still carried the dread that all of this was nothing more that a dream.

"Are all your tears gone now?" asked Taichi.

Yamato blinked. "Yeah."

The tanned boy smiled. "That's good."

"Why?" Yamato asked curiously.

"Well earlier you told me about how you looked after Takeru when he felt afraid and upset and how you used to hold him tight to you to soothe him. That just reminded me. You don't need to worry anymore." Taichi replied before snuggling into him.

"Taichi?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**************************************************************

Things turned out really differently from how I expected it to be and there are no words I can use to describe how grateful I am for it. Hikari woke Taichi and I up really early that Christmas morning. I think she was confused when she found us sleeping in the same bed. Thankfully Taichi pulled through with an excuse saying that he had gone to wake me up then fallen asleep when he climbed up there. Okay it's not a good excuse but hey, it's an excuse nonetheless. Seeing the looks on Taichi and Hikari's faces while they opened their presents was a great experience. It really did help to remind me of Christmas with my family. Actually my dad had phoned later in the morning. He apologised about a million times and promised to take make it up to me by taking me out somewhere when he got back. He also said he had something special for me.

To say the least Christmas with the Yagami's was great. Taichi was jumping about the house in excitement when he opened his PS2. Strangely he seemed even more excited when he discovered that he didn't receive any kitty games. Christmas dinner was really good and even Hikari helped in preparing it. By the end of the day I realised that I enjoyed myself more than I had six years ago. This shocked me a bit at first but I soon grasped that it was because I had nothing to worry about. With Takeru I was the one protecting him but with Taichi he was protecting me and when I was with him all my troubles seemed to fade away, just one of the many reasons I loved him so much. Taichi had given me so much, so much that I felt guilty for it. But he ignored me and said I myself had given him so much also therefore making us even.

I spend Christmas night again with the Yagami's and this time I slept with Taichi in his bed. This time I was cuddling into him. His body was so soft and I felt almost guilty as I had the sudden urge to embrace him, but I knew it wasn't the time, neither of us was really ready yet not after all the emotions still swirling around our heads. But I knew the time would come some day.

My Otousan returned back home the next day he took me out. Taichi came along as well as he wanted to repay him back for letting me stay with him. Otousan and I weren't really close but I did of course make my best efforts to make conversation. We actually ended up having a good time. So overall my life has just gotten a lot better. We still haven't told anyone about our relationship yet. I suppose we're just waiting for the right now. But finally my lonely hard has been freed….

Authors Notes: Well I hope the ending was okay. I'm not to sure of it myself. Sorry if the story kind of dragged, I have a bad habit of trying to make everything long just to try and explain the characters. Baka Shadow. Again thank for reading everyone. Sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes that there are bound to be in this. Even with spellchecker I mess up -_-;

I updated chapter four of my other story Shadows from the past, just thought I'd mention in case anyone had read earlier chapters or were interested in reading it.