Title: Random Thoughts
By: Amanda
Feedback: sweety167@yahoo.ca
Spoilers: Rush
Rating: PG to be safe
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Smallville…*sigh*
Summary: Random thoughts of characters after Rush
Completed: February 5, 2003
Lex towelled himself off and slipped into a robe, cleaning the mirror of steam. He watched himself in the mirror, studying the figure there. He laughed at himself. Trying so very hard to not be like his father, to not repeat Lionel's past. And here he was. Conniving, invading, losing. Determined to find out about Clark. These secrets he has – it had cost him. Cost him everything he had here. Cost him the only friendship he had, the only one he had. He was alone. A joke to high school kids who he was stupid enough to believe were friends. Even Clark had pushed him aside, literally. Discarded him. And his first instinct is to trap him, use him. Just like dear old dad. Push off the hurt, hide all emotion and do something to re-establish yourself. The image in the glass laughed as he picked up his toothbrush.
Toothbrush in hand, Chloe approached the mirror. Too damned early. Running the water she squeezed the mint green goo onto the bristles in preparation for the daily ritual. She dragged the brush along her teeth, scrubbing to achieve the perfect Lana Lang smile. She groaned. It was way too damn early for this. She sighed, already into her third Clark thought of the day and she had just basically gotten up. That boy. That damn farm boy! Spit and begin rinsing. She had done everything away from showing up naked at his fortress of solitude. And he still hadn't clued in. she loved him, wanted him and all he ha running through his little head was two letters L.L. Brown hair and big brown eyes. Urgh. But maybe it was her fault…at least partially. She had let him keep using her. At the drop of a smile she's there, running any kind of task she could just to spend time with him. She had spent far too much time thinking about him. She couldn't even go through brushing her teeth without thinking about Clark. She was pathetic. Great way to start the day! She spit into the sink, turning off the tap. Sigh. She gave herself a forced brave little smile into the mirror before flying out the bathroom door.
Door. She rushed to unlock it. Rushing around the Talon to open it. Coffee. Start brewing the three pots. Had to keep moving or everything would catch up to her. It would all consume her. Her mistakes, her over reacting, her blaming. Her. Her. Her. She could blame Chloe for the missed date…but knew she had no right accepting it in the first place. Could blame Clark…but all she had to do was forgive. Could blame the meteor rocks…but this time it was her fault. Muffins. Have to put the tray out. If she stopped she would realise it was her fault. Not everything happened TO Lana Lang. Some of it she did to herself. She caused it. She hurt people, she caused pain. Napkins. Have to fill the holders. Tables. Have to wash them. Bowl…
Bowl of cereal, double stack of toast, eggs and any other food he could cram down his throat on the way out the door. Pete was a growing, strapping young man. And besides, he needed the energy for football practice. And that's what he was off to. Every morning, every night – football, football, football. It was taking so much out of him, so much out of his life. He wasn't even that interested in the sport anymore. He longed for the bus rides every morning to school with Chloe. Their little chats and bets and that smile. That smile he only saw on her face in the mornings. Before the day got to her – the smile that was just his. He never saw it now. He never got her smile anymore, not that pure one they'd share in the mornings. Just the two of them of the rickety old bus. He realised that he didn't spend as much time with his Chloe anymore – he cold hardly call her his now. He hadn't been spending the time with her. And he missed it. Missed the smile. Missed her. Missed his Chloe. He suited up into practice pants, throwing everything else into his locker. Football was taking up too much time.
Time. Time. IT was all time in the cave for Clark. Past, present, future. It gave him time being in here, and robbed him of it. It gave him time to think. Maybe too much time for that. He thought about the cave; Where he was from, who he was, what he was – it gave him all the questions but none of the answers. That always made him think about his parents. The Kents of course and the others. The other ones. But could he really call the others parents? His family was here. The ones who carry this burden with him; Martha, Jonathan and Pete. He's been such a burden on them. So much trouble. Caused so much trouble. God what he had done to Lana. The cave had stolen that time too. But Chloe…he alone had stolen and misused that time. Stolen and misused her. He couldn't apologise for what she didn't confess, or could he? But here in the cave time didn't fix that, the cave wouldn't fix that. He had done it too long and too much. Hurt too much. Had too much to make up for. Had risked so much for this time – Lana, Chloe, Lex. So much time to make up for.
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A/N: Well, Rush was one hell of an episode huh?! All I can say is poor Chloe and Lex!