Tuesday, September 2nd.
6.00am
Bugger it! Buggerbuggerbugger it! I have to get this English homework done or Mrs Wallis (honest, that's her name) will boil my brains in pistachio nuts. I don't even like pistachios! I'll have to ask if she can use almonds instead. Why do I always leave homework to the last minute? I have to finish the Hound of the Baskervilles and write a review in half an hour! Buggerbuggerbugger!
6.03am
'...Holmes turned to me.
"Stapleton is our man" said he...'
WELL OF COURSE IT'S STAPLETON, DAMMIT! WHAT, DID YOU WORK IT OUT WHEN YOU REALISED THAT HE SEEMED TOO OBSESSED WITH SIR HENRY OR DID YOU JUST COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT HE'S GAY???
Honestly!!! They call Sherlock Holmes the greatest mind in English Legal History and it takes him half of the book to work out who the killer is? It was obvious when Stapleton was first introduced.
I wrote down the following on my review:
'Have worked out nothing from this book apart from that Sherlock Holmes, the 'finest mind in English Legal History', is in fact a poof, and Dr. Watson is incredibly sweet when played by Ian Hart, as happened in the BBC production of this novel.'
6.04am
Hang on. Why am I writing English reviews for Muggle School when I'm here in Hogwarts? Well, I suppose Mum will make me go to Muggle Summer School. How on earth did that sadistic woman ever come to be a parent? Actually, I won't go down that road.
"I am so gonna ask Dumbledore if I can stay at school over the summer holidays." I said to myself. Then, I realised that he'd probably say no, and the safest choice was to do the homework anyway. But not now.
6.15am
What is my timetable? Ah, yes...:
'Monday :- Double Herbology followed by Double History of Magic
Tuesday :- Double Transfiguration followed by Double Charms
Wednesday :- Double History of Magic followed by Double Transfiguration
Thursday :- Double Charms followed by Double Flying
Friday:- Double Defence Against the Dark Arts followed by Double Potions.'
What is it with these people and Doubles? Shame. My two favorite lessons (by sound, I haven't actually been in lessons yet), Potions and DADA only have two lessons. Ah, well. Friday is a good day. History of Magic sounds boring and it has four! Sadistic bunch of 'teachers'
7.00am
I yawned. Must have dozed off. What have we got today? Ah, yes. Transfiguration followed by Charms. Better be good, that's all I'm saying. What time is breakfast? Uh... half seven. Lessons begin at nine and end at twelve for lunch. Then, at two, they start up again and carry on until five and dinner is at Half seven. Don't get me wrong, every single session is one and a half hours. Ohhhhh Gooood!!!
7.15am
Woke Baby Bushkins (Hermione Granger) and the other three girls in this dorm (Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil and a sweet little spanish/german origin girl called Jan (pronounce Yan) LuSape, or something like that.)
"What the hell was that for???" Baby B (Hermione Granger) asked, after I had shaken her and the others awake. I explained, all the while trying to stop my hands inching around her neck, that either she got up to go to lessons or I threw her out of the window. She got the hint.
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant, Jawohl." Jan mumbled sleepily in some weird mix of Hispaño-Deustch language when I woke her up. Parvati and Lavender just glared and went off in a huff. Well, aren't they the attitude queens?
Baby B grumbled something about shampoo. She is soooo uninteresting. I'll have to sit with Ron Weasley, McSruffo (Harry Potter) and Jan.
7.33am
Am now at breakfast, eating pancakes in chocolate sauce and chatting with Harry, Ron and Jan. I'm just gonna call Jan 'Jan' instead of 'Yan.' It's much easier, and she answers to it.
"I'm the sixth Weasley here." Said Ron.
"My parents died before I knew them." Harry shot back. I think they were trying to see who was worst off.
"Mein parents vere evil son-of-bitches and I am glad that they are disowning me." Jan said, in her strong Hispaño-Deutsch accent.
"My dad has apparently been killed by You-Know-Who and my Mum could take on a Teletubby at 'Weakest Link' and lose!" I complained, half hysterical.
"Ach, no! Das ist too too nasty, nein?" Jan gasped.
"Jawohl." I said wearily, putting the little German I knew into good use.
"Hey, Jan." Harry Pothead asked. "What backgrounds are your parents from?"
"Meinen Vater ist from Chermany und meine Mutti ist from...ach, how you say?... Spain."
"Why are you in England, then?" Ron asked, perplexed. I think that was too much for his tiny pea-brain to handle.
"I vas living in Spain for four years since I vas born, und then I vas living in Chermany until last year, vhen I got meine Hogvarts letter und I came here for die Sommer."
"Ah." Said Ron, still looking lost. "Do you speak Spanish?"
"A little."
"French?"
"A little. Und meine Englisch ist nicht good."
"No." I argued. "Your English is brilliant!"
Suddenly, that black-haired teacher, wassisname? Professor Snape, appeared behind me for no apparent reason. I saw Jan frown and turned round.
"Not making trouble, are you?" he whispered dangerously. Jan blinked but I was right in there.
"Trouble? Me? Why would I be making trouble?" I asked innocently.
"Trouble follows you around, Katz, like a cat stalking a mouse." He said in his rich, low, creepy voice.
"But it's the first day! I wouldn't make trouble on the first day!" I protested.
"You didn't seem to think that was the case yesterday, did you?" He snarled malevolently. Then he gave me one final glare and walked off. Weird man.
"What's wrong with him?" Harry breathed, having also got the glare of death from the man at dinner yesterday.
I shrugged.
9.00am
Ah. Start of Transfiguration. Hope it's interesting. Who's the teacher? Oh no. It's McGonagall.
I sat at the front with Jan. Because I'm usually a right horror in lessons, I'm going to try and be good in lessons.
"Transfiguration is a very trying way of magic." McG explained as she walked in to the room and sat down at her desk. "If anyone is thinking of disrupting this lesson, I suggest they leave now." She pointed at the door.
No one moved. I had a strange urge to start limbo dancing, but I didn't.
Thank God.
10.30am
So far done nothing but Transfiguration theory work and chat to Jan. McG gave us a match to change into a needles. Qu'est-ce le point? You can't burn needles so what the heck is the point?
"So, Jan, do you want to lose your German accent?" I asked, while reading in the textbook how to change the incredibly fun burny object into an incredibly dull useless one.
"Ach, yes. Vhenever I am going somevhere, somevone alvays notices that I am Cherman and pronounce my Double-U's as 'V' and my Vees as 'F'"
"Well, I think we can do something about your German accent, my funny little friend."
By this time, I had found the page in the textbook and had seen that Transfiguration was incredibly simple. I poked the matchstick with my wand and it gave off a puff of greenish smoke. In the pretty matchstick's place lay a completely pointless needle. No, it literally was pointless. My needle...was blunt. Damn!
11.00am
Managed to do the 'puff of green smoke' thing to a number of different needles. I convinced McGonagall that I kept setting the matches on fire so she would give me new ones. Honestly, she's as perceptive as a broomstick, only not so advanced.
Baby B, however, is as perceptive as three and a half broomsticks. Honestly!!! One would think she had something better to do rather than poke her head of my matches and say
"Why are you stealing those matches?"
To reply, I said
"To burn that bush you've chopped down. Oh, sorry, it's your hair."
She buggered off after that. I really think I should have been a Slytherin.
12.00pm
Completely uneventful rest of lesson. I hid all my matches and was ignored by McG. Baby B, however, got a smile because she had one matchstick. It's a whole lot of prejudiced arseholes in this school, I can tell you!
Now have about 3,000 blunt needles and 40,000,000 burnt - out matchsticks. I love burning matches. Unfortunately, I'm allergic to fire. It always seems to get a song stuck in my head. Today it's 'Greensleeves'. I'll have to see the doctor about that.
"Ach, so, vhere are ve now going?" Jan appeared. She is so sweet! Her hair is a kind of dirty blond, so she isn't really blond, and she's got searching, mournful brown eyes and a nice tan. Bet she drinks Kool-Aid. Now where did that come from?
"We are going to luncheon, meine kleine Deustch freunde."
"Ach! Lunch!"
Honestly. Am thinking of becoming a loner.
12.30pm
ACH! LUNCH! As my little Hispaño-Deustch friend would say. I think that Harry Pothead and Roneeeeeeeeee (!) are blabbing on about sommat, but I'm gazing at that cute, twitchy guy in the turban. Why does he keep twitching? Maybe because he's talking to the Sadistic Shampoo Seducer (Professor Snape). The SSS looks pretty buggered off. No, that's because he's just seen me. Ah, well.
"Vas ist after lunch?" Jan asked.
"Double Charms. Hopefully we won't be violating the Matchstick Protection League in this lesson." I said sarcastically. Jan sniggered. Ron looked black and Pothead choked in his porridge.
"Ach, no!" Jan was on her feet in a flash, running round to Harry. "Does he mind if I am doing das Heimlich Manoeuvre?"
What the hell is 'Das Heimlich Manoeuvre when it's not being carried out on Pothead?
Jan grabbed Pothead round the chest and squeezed. Harry stopped choking and started going blue. Jan stopped squeezing and sat back down.
"Heimlich Manoeuvre" she explained, being pure Hispaño-Deustch, "Is vhere die person chokes so the other grabs them round the middle und is sqveezing."
Right. Thank you, Jan. I couldn't have lived another second without knowing that. I'm going up to my room, to write that note to RVR (Rip Van Remus)
1.15pm
Have finally finished the note and am now looking for that dratted owl of mine. SHADOW! Get your feathery ass over here right now! Meanwhile, here's the letter.
'Rip Van R.
Am at Hogwarts. Have been sorted into Gryffindor. (buggerbuggerbugger). My best friend is Hispaño-Deustch and I am in Harry Potter's house. Can't stop singing Greensleeves. Getting the glare of death from the Potions teacher, Professor Snape. He's evil and sadistic and murders shampoo for a living. The Sadistic Shampoo Seducer (SSS) is mean, but I'm looking forward to Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts first. Haven't learnt much apart from the Heimlich Manoeuvre, which is utterly useless, and why to set fire to bushes.
By the by. Jan and I are staying up late tomorrow night. Full moon, though you'll know all about that, won't you?
Lotsa Love, Juss.'
I still haven't said why I'm looking forward to DADA, have I? It has something to do with the teacher, that's all. I found Shadow, the stupid owl was doing something under my bed. Probably having babies. That's not right, it's male, dammit!
1.30pm
Sent Shadow. Gonna have a doze.
1.59pm
Jan woke me.
"VE ARE GOING TO BE LATE, MEINE FREUNDE!" she yelled in my ear. That got me going. I grabbed a spellbook ('Basic Charms and Curses' by Joan De- Flammare) and sprinted with Jan down to the Charms corridor.
2.01pm
Arrived at the Charms corridor on the verge of Cardiac Arrest with Jan. Walked in to see what I thought was an imp. It was, in fact, a miniscule little wizard standing on a pile of books looking at us disapprovingly.
"Miss Katz and Miss LuSape?" He asked. We nodded "You are late."
I mumbled an apology and sat down next to a blond boy I'd seen sorted into Slytherin, Jan sitting on my other side. We started working on the most basic of all charms: movement. We were each given a feather and were left to our own devices.
"So." The blond boy next to me said. "Two Gryffindors. Mudbloods, are you?" He sneered. Jan blushed and looked away. I frowned.
"Why the heck do you care?" I asked heatedly, moving in front of Jan.
"Mudbloods shouldn't be allowed at this school." He said offhandedly. "My father says so. I'm Draco Malfoy, and you should remember that."
"Drawling Pratboy, was that?" I asked, cocking an ear towards him. "I didn't quite hear."
He went a funny pink color.
"Watch your step, Mudblood." He warned. I snapped. I hated him insulting Jan and Jan just blushed and looked away.
"Why don't you go an pick on something with your own brain capacity?" I hissed. "Oh, I forgot. Filch owns the only cleaning fluid in the place. What a shame you can't ask for more for your hair. I think the peroxide's coming out. If you're not careful, it'll dissolve your ears."
"Who asked your opinion, Mudbloo-" He began, but I kicked him in the lower regions and he ducked behind the desk.
"Never." I jeered as I grabbed his hair. "Never make fun of my friend again." I let go and he bent double. I ignored him and went back to moving the feather across the desk. Unfortunately, I was so pissed off that I poked it extra hard and it grew wheels and rolled off across the floor.
I had to ask for a new one. Professor Flitwick wasn't pleased.
5.00pm
Charms rules! Not only did I show that Slytherin who's boss, I also managed to make the feather grow wings and fly away. A bit ironic, I know, but Prof Flitwick was really pleased! Jan crept nervously up to my elbow.
"I vant to thank you for sticking up for me against... ah... Draco Malfoy. He ist von helluva karacter." She said.
"No biggie." I brushed of the compliment, but she continued.
"I also think it vas wrong to get on die wrong side of him. I saw him again today vith zwei HUGE boys. I think they are his friends."
I was slightly worried.
"Ah... thanks for that, Jan."
"No problem."
7.30pm
Dinner. Spaghetti Bolognese. Our dear little Italian cousins are very funny. Why make anything related to string at put a dead cow on top of it? I knew that living in olive groves was bad for you.
For some reason, am getting more death stares from SSS (Professor Snape) and I haven't done anything wrong today! I think he's still remembering that unfortunate Wingardium Leviosa incident. How was I to know that it was the levitation spell and very powerful?
As I said earlier, this is a prejudiced school and a facsimile of a scam.
9.00pm
Short, uninteresting dinner with nothing of note apart from that it was short and uninteresting. I caught up with Dumbledore afterwards and asked him if I could stay at school for the summer holidays as well as Christmas and Easter.
For some reason, he started laughing hysterically and walked off. What is wrong with these people? Said goodnight to Pothead, RonEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and Jan and went to the Gryff girls' room.
10.00pm
Am back to the old homework standby for my Muggle homework. Writing a Hound of the Baskervilles review. First day, today, and we got no homework at all! Wish that that happened in Muggle schools.
2.00am
Stapleton is dy- *yawn* -ing! Oh... dear... what a...shame -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
6.00am
Bugger it! Buggerbuggerbugger it! I have to get this English homework done or Mrs Wallis (honest, that's her name) will boil my brains in pistachio nuts. I don't even like pistachios! I'll have to ask if she can use almonds instead. Why do I always leave homework to the last minute? I have to finish the Hound of the Baskervilles and write a review in half an hour! Buggerbuggerbugger!
6.03am
'...Holmes turned to me.
"Stapleton is our man" said he...'
WELL OF COURSE IT'S STAPLETON, DAMMIT! WHAT, DID YOU WORK IT OUT WHEN YOU REALISED THAT HE SEEMED TOO OBSESSED WITH SIR HENRY OR DID YOU JUST COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT HE'S GAY???
Honestly!!! They call Sherlock Holmes the greatest mind in English Legal History and it takes him half of the book to work out who the killer is? It was obvious when Stapleton was first introduced.
I wrote down the following on my review:
'Have worked out nothing from this book apart from that Sherlock Holmes, the 'finest mind in English Legal History', is in fact a poof, and Dr. Watson is incredibly sweet when played by Ian Hart, as happened in the BBC production of this novel.'
6.04am
Hang on. Why am I writing English reviews for Muggle School when I'm here in Hogwarts? Well, I suppose Mum will make me go to Muggle Summer School. How on earth did that sadistic woman ever come to be a parent? Actually, I won't go down that road.
"I am so gonna ask Dumbledore if I can stay at school over the summer holidays." I said to myself. Then, I realised that he'd probably say no, and the safest choice was to do the homework anyway. But not now.
6.15am
What is my timetable? Ah, yes...:
'Monday :- Double Herbology followed by Double History of Magic
Tuesday :- Double Transfiguration followed by Double Charms
Wednesday :- Double History of Magic followed by Double Transfiguration
Thursday :- Double Charms followed by Double Flying
Friday:- Double Defence Against the Dark Arts followed by Double Potions.'
What is it with these people and Doubles? Shame. My two favorite lessons (by sound, I haven't actually been in lessons yet), Potions and DADA only have two lessons. Ah, well. Friday is a good day. History of Magic sounds boring and it has four! Sadistic bunch of 'teachers'
7.00am
I yawned. Must have dozed off. What have we got today? Ah, yes. Transfiguration followed by Charms. Better be good, that's all I'm saying. What time is breakfast? Uh... half seven. Lessons begin at nine and end at twelve for lunch. Then, at two, they start up again and carry on until five and dinner is at Half seven. Don't get me wrong, every single session is one and a half hours. Ohhhhh Gooood!!!
7.15am
Woke Baby Bushkins (Hermione Granger) and the other three girls in this dorm (Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil and a sweet little spanish/german origin girl called Jan (pronounce Yan) LuSape, or something like that.)
"What the hell was that for???" Baby B (Hermione Granger) asked, after I had shaken her and the others awake. I explained, all the while trying to stop my hands inching around her neck, that either she got up to go to lessons or I threw her out of the window. She got the hint.
"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant, Jawohl." Jan mumbled sleepily in some weird mix of Hispaño-Deustch language when I woke her up. Parvati and Lavender just glared and went off in a huff. Well, aren't they the attitude queens?
Baby B grumbled something about shampoo. She is soooo uninteresting. I'll have to sit with Ron Weasley, McSruffo (Harry Potter) and Jan.
7.33am
Am now at breakfast, eating pancakes in chocolate sauce and chatting with Harry, Ron and Jan. I'm just gonna call Jan 'Jan' instead of 'Yan.' It's much easier, and she answers to it.
"I'm the sixth Weasley here." Said Ron.
"My parents died before I knew them." Harry shot back. I think they were trying to see who was worst off.
"Mein parents vere evil son-of-bitches and I am glad that they are disowning me." Jan said, in her strong Hispaño-Deutsch accent.
"My dad has apparently been killed by You-Know-Who and my Mum could take on a Teletubby at 'Weakest Link' and lose!" I complained, half hysterical.
"Ach, no! Das ist too too nasty, nein?" Jan gasped.
"Jawohl." I said wearily, putting the little German I knew into good use.
"Hey, Jan." Harry Pothead asked. "What backgrounds are your parents from?"
"Meinen Vater ist from Chermany und meine Mutti ist from...ach, how you say?... Spain."
"Why are you in England, then?" Ron asked, perplexed. I think that was too much for his tiny pea-brain to handle.
"I vas living in Spain for four years since I vas born, und then I vas living in Chermany until last year, vhen I got meine Hogvarts letter und I came here for die Sommer."
"Ah." Said Ron, still looking lost. "Do you speak Spanish?"
"A little."
"French?"
"A little. Und meine Englisch ist nicht good."
"No." I argued. "Your English is brilliant!"
Suddenly, that black-haired teacher, wassisname? Professor Snape, appeared behind me for no apparent reason. I saw Jan frown and turned round.
"Not making trouble, are you?" he whispered dangerously. Jan blinked but I was right in there.
"Trouble? Me? Why would I be making trouble?" I asked innocently.
"Trouble follows you around, Katz, like a cat stalking a mouse." He said in his rich, low, creepy voice.
"But it's the first day! I wouldn't make trouble on the first day!" I protested.
"You didn't seem to think that was the case yesterday, did you?" He snarled malevolently. Then he gave me one final glare and walked off. Weird man.
"What's wrong with him?" Harry breathed, having also got the glare of death from the man at dinner yesterday.
I shrugged.
9.00am
Ah. Start of Transfiguration. Hope it's interesting. Who's the teacher? Oh no. It's McGonagall.
I sat at the front with Jan. Because I'm usually a right horror in lessons, I'm going to try and be good in lessons.
"Transfiguration is a very trying way of magic." McG explained as she walked in to the room and sat down at her desk. "If anyone is thinking of disrupting this lesson, I suggest they leave now." She pointed at the door.
No one moved. I had a strange urge to start limbo dancing, but I didn't.
Thank God.
10.30am
So far done nothing but Transfiguration theory work and chat to Jan. McG gave us a match to change into a needles. Qu'est-ce le point? You can't burn needles so what the heck is the point?
"So, Jan, do you want to lose your German accent?" I asked, while reading in the textbook how to change the incredibly fun burny object into an incredibly dull useless one.
"Ach, yes. Vhenever I am going somevhere, somevone alvays notices that I am Cherman and pronounce my Double-U's as 'V' and my Vees as 'F'"
"Well, I think we can do something about your German accent, my funny little friend."
By this time, I had found the page in the textbook and had seen that Transfiguration was incredibly simple. I poked the matchstick with my wand and it gave off a puff of greenish smoke. In the pretty matchstick's place lay a completely pointless needle. No, it literally was pointless. My needle...was blunt. Damn!
11.00am
Managed to do the 'puff of green smoke' thing to a number of different needles. I convinced McGonagall that I kept setting the matches on fire so she would give me new ones. Honestly, she's as perceptive as a broomstick, only not so advanced.
Baby B, however, is as perceptive as three and a half broomsticks. Honestly!!! One would think she had something better to do rather than poke her head of my matches and say
"Why are you stealing those matches?"
To reply, I said
"To burn that bush you've chopped down. Oh, sorry, it's your hair."
She buggered off after that. I really think I should have been a Slytherin.
12.00pm
Completely uneventful rest of lesson. I hid all my matches and was ignored by McG. Baby B, however, got a smile because she had one matchstick. It's a whole lot of prejudiced arseholes in this school, I can tell you!
Now have about 3,000 blunt needles and 40,000,000 burnt - out matchsticks. I love burning matches. Unfortunately, I'm allergic to fire. It always seems to get a song stuck in my head. Today it's 'Greensleeves'. I'll have to see the doctor about that.
"Ach, so, vhere are ve now going?" Jan appeared. She is so sweet! Her hair is a kind of dirty blond, so she isn't really blond, and she's got searching, mournful brown eyes and a nice tan. Bet she drinks Kool-Aid. Now where did that come from?
"We are going to luncheon, meine kleine Deustch freunde."
"Ach! Lunch!"
Honestly. Am thinking of becoming a loner.
12.30pm
ACH! LUNCH! As my little Hispaño-Deustch friend would say. I think that Harry Pothead and Roneeeeeeeeee (!) are blabbing on about sommat, but I'm gazing at that cute, twitchy guy in the turban. Why does he keep twitching? Maybe because he's talking to the Sadistic Shampoo Seducer (Professor Snape). The SSS looks pretty buggered off. No, that's because he's just seen me. Ah, well.
"Vas ist after lunch?" Jan asked.
"Double Charms. Hopefully we won't be violating the Matchstick Protection League in this lesson." I said sarcastically. Jan sniggered. Ron looked black and Pothead choked in his porridge.
"Ach, no!" Jan was on her feet in a flash, running round to Harry. "Does he mind if I am doing das Heimlich Manoeuvre?"
What the hell is 'Das Heimlich Manoeuvre when it's not being carried out on Pothead?
Jan grabbed Pothead round the chest and squeezed. Harry stopped choking and started going blue. Jan stopped squeezing and sat back down.
"Heimlich Manoeuvre" she explained, being pure Hispaño-Deustch, "Is vhere die person chokes so the other grabs them round the middle und is sqveezing."
Right. Thank you, Jan. I couldn't have lived another second without knowing that. I'm going up to my room, to write that note to RVR (Rip Van Remus)
1.15pm
Have finally finished the note and am now looking for that dratted owl of mine. SHADOW! Get your feathery ass over here right now! Meanwhile, here's the letter.
'Rip Van R.
Am at Hogwarts. Have been sorted into Gryffindor. (buggerbuggerbugger). My best friend is Hispaño-Deustch and I am in Harry Potter's house. Can't stop singing Greensleeves. Getting the glare of death from the Potions teacher, Professor Snape. He's evil and sadistic and murders shampoo for a living. The Sadistic Shampoo Seducer (SSS) is mean, but I'm looking forward to Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts first. Haven't learnt much apart from the Heimlich Manoeuvre, which is utterly useless, and why to set fire to bushes.
By the by. Jan and I are staying up late tomorrow night. Full moon, though you'll know all about that, won't you?
Lotsa Love, Juss.'
I still haven't said why I'm looking forward to DADA, have I? It has something to do with the teacher, that's all. I found Shadow, the stupid owl was doing something under my bed. Probably having babies. That's not right, it's male, dammit!
1.30pm
Sent Shadow. Gonna have a doze.
1.59pm
Jan woke me.
"VE ARE GOING TO BE LATE, MEINE FREUNDE!" she yelled in my ear. That got me going. I grabbed a spellbook ('Basic Charms and Curses' by Joan De- Flammare) and sprinted with Jan down to the Charms corridor.
2.01pm
Arrived at the Charms corridor on the verge of Cardiac Arrest with Jan. Walked in to see what I thought was an imp. It was, in fact, a miniscule little wizard standing on a pile of books looking at us disapprovingly.
"Miss Katz and Miss LuSape?" He asked. We nodded "You are late."
I mumbled an apology and sat down next to a blond boy I'd seen sorted into Slytherin, Jan sitting on my other side. We started working on the most basic of all charms: movement. We were each given a feather and were left to our own devices.
"So." The blond boy next to me said. "Two Gryffindors. Mudbloods, are you?" He sneered. Jan blushed and looked away. I frowned.
"Why the heck do you care?" I asked heatedly, moving in front of Jan.
"Mudbloods shouldn't be allowed at this school." He said offhandedly. "My father says so. I'm Draco Malfoy, and you should remember that."
"Drawling Pratboy, was that?" I asked, cocking an ear towards him. "I didn't quite hear."
He went a funny pink color.
"Watch your step, Mudblood." He warned. I snapped. I hated him insulting Jan and Jan just blushed and looked away.
"Why don't you go an pick on something with your own brain capacity?" I hissed. "Oh, I forgot. Filch owns the only cleaning fluid in the place. What a shame you can't ask for more for your hair. I think the peroxide's coming out. If you're not careful, it'll dissolve your ears."
"Who asked your opinion, Mudbloo-" He began, but I kicked him in the lower regions and he ducked behind the desk.
"Never." I jeered as I grabbed his hair. "Never make fun of my friend again." I let go and he bent double. I ignored him and went back to moving the feather across the desk. Unfortunately, I was so pissed off that I poked it extra hard and it grew wheels and rolled off across the floor.
I had to ask for a new one. Professor Flitwick wasn't pleased.
5.00pm
Charms rules! Not only did I show that Slytherin who's boss, I also managed to make the feather grow wings and fly away. A bit ironic, I know, but Prof Flitwick was really pleased! Jan crept nervously up to my elbow.
"I vant to thank you for sticking up for me against... ah... Draco Malfoy. He ist von helluva karacter." She said.
"No biggie." I brushed of the compliment, but she continued.
"I also think it vas wrong to get on die wrong side of him. I saw him again today vith zwei HUGE boys. I think they are his friends."
I was slightly worried.
"Ah... thanks for that, Jan."
"No problem."
7.30pm
Dinner. Spaghetti Bolognese. Our dear little Italian cousins are very funny. Why make anything related to string at put a dead cow on top of it? I knew that living in olive groves was bad for you.
For some reason, am getting more death stares from SSS (Professor Snape) and I haven't done anything wrong today! I think he's still remembering that unfortunate Wingardium Leviosa incident. How was I to know that it was the levitation spell and very powerful?
As I said earlier, this is a prejudiced school and a facsimile of a scam.
9.00pm
Short, uninteresting dinner with nothing of note apart from that it was short and uninteresting. I caught up with Dumbledore afterwards and asked him if I could stay at school for the summer holidays as well as Christmas and Easter.
For some reason, he started laughing hysterically and walked off. What is wrong with these people? Said goodnight to Pothead, RonEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and Jan and went to the Gryff girls' room.
10.00pm
Am back to the old homework standby for my Muggle homework. Writing a Hound of the Baskervilles review. First day, today, and we got no homework at all! Wish that that happened in Muggle schools.
2.00am
Stapleton is dy- *yawn* -ing! Oh... dear... what a...shame -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...