Thursday September 4th
7.00am
Haha! For once I got a good night's sleep without being woken up by teletubbies or mutant owls from hell!
I woke Jan, who seemed a bit disorientated.
"You vere hugged by CTTG! You vere hugged by CTTG!" She whispered in a kind of dazed fashion. How does she know about that? I was alone!
"You vere saying so in your sleep, ja?" She explained when I asked her. I am so stupid. Why the hell was I saying that in my sleep? I am such a dumbass.
"Why were you listening to what I was saying in my sleep?" I asked, feeling pretty pissed off.
"It is funny, ja?" Jan said. "I mean, the other day you vere saying something about 'ja, mein Hertz. I vill see you tomorrow!' And then you said 'ow! Vat the hell vas that?!'"
Am thinking of killing self or going to sleep wearing duct tape.
7.30pm
Breakfast! The Weasleys are a bloody load of hypocrites! Asking me if I'm feeling ok and saying they're sorry for poisoning me with excessive caffeine. If they mean any of it, then I'll eat my own turban!
"Oh, by the way, Justice." Harry Pothead said offhandedly. "Professor Quirrell told me - very inebriated - that you had a detention with him tonight for running around causing a riot and general panic."
Well, that lousy son-of-a- ! I have a good mind to tell him to screw his detention and go take some alcohol pops or something. I won't have time to go! What with my Muggle homework! I still have half a Hound of the Baskervilles review to write, too. And then I have to study Macbeth. And then Jekyll and Hyde. Were they planning on giving me anytime to sleep?
"Great." I muttered, feeling rebellious. "However, it's Charms and then Flying to look forward to!" I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Don't tell anyone, but I have my own broom here with me."
Ron's eyes widened.
"What type?" He asked. "Nimbus 2K?"
"Nah, not a Nimbus. It's a foreign make. It's from Australia, where my Uncle Rohan lives. He was married to my Mum's sister, Artemisa. They called her Misa, but Misa was Misa-rible and, according to my mum, killed herself halfway through Vol - sorry, You-Know-Who's reign. Then Rohan moved to Auzzie and sent me my broomstick for my 10th birthday."
"Well?" Ron asked, getting frustrated. "What make is it?"
"It's one of the new enhanced 'Rampage X' 'Dust' models."
"Rampage...X?" Pothead asked slowly, not sure whether he heard correctly.
"Rampage X is the name of the company. Dust is the name of the model."
"...oh."
10.00am
Absolutely nothing of interest happened and am now half-way through Charms. We're polishing up on Moving Charms. Of course, I can already do it so I'm chatting to Helena, who I haven't seen since the first day.
"Helena, how are you?" I asked. She sneered.
"Shut up, Gryffindor."
"Helena, it's me. You know. Now say it slowly. Justice...Katz."
"I know who you are!" She snarled at me. "And what you did to our Head of House!"
Good grief! Is that what this is all about? Jesus Christ! I don't know what's worse, being accused of trying to kill him by my previous best friend or having people say he looks like my father!
My father? That's stupid! Who would want to marry that!
11.00am
Have written a letter to Mr Olllivander.
'Dear Mr Freaky-Vampy-Type-Guy-Called-Ollivander,
Can you please tell me who bought a Redwood and Wyvern Scale Wand from your shop? Au Revoir, Thy Freakiness, Justice Katz'
11.30am
Am now pissing Helena off. Why does she care that I nearly killed her Head of House? Jesus, if someone nearly killed McG then I wouldn't be moaning, I'd be partying!
"Would you just go away?" Helena snapped, losing her self control. "Jesus!"
"You called?" I answered wittily. There. Now she thinks I'm God. She's holding a crucifix towards me. What the hell good will that do?
Ah yes. Jesus is scared of crucifixes because he dies on one. Or at least that's what she thinks.
"Call...me...Esben?" She asked, reading the T-Shirt I showed her.
"Yeah. It's my middle name. It means God." I told her.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight..."
12.00pm
End of Charms. Am at Luncheon with Jan, Ron and Pothead. What is for lunch, I hear you say. My reply to that is a whole pile of bullshite.
Shite. I like that word.
"School, I have an announcement to make." Dumbledore said, standing up. "Due to circumstances beyond our control, Madam Hooch, the flying teacher, has gone to Nigeria to referee some important Quidditch matches. Forthwith, any Flying Practices are cancelled. They will restart on her return, mid- October."
Shite. It's a bloody wreck, this school. Teacher's stuttering here, skiving a day off there, going to Nigeria to referee Quidditch matches...
I hate school.
1.00pm
Hang on. No flying. That means I have a free afternoon to do whatever the hell I want!
"Hey, Jan, want to come exploring with me?" I asked.
"Ja! Free afternoon, vhile all of the other people vill be at lessons, nein?"
"We can go and find secret passages and rooms! Hell, only we will know about them! I'm sure Hogwarts has tonnes!"
"Ja!"
"My Uncle Remus, he was one of the Marauders. They looked for passages and that. He was Moony. There was Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. They made a map, but it was confiscated in their last year. I think a first-year Hufflepuff found it and handed it in."
"Damn Hufflepuff." Muttered Jan darkly.
"I know. Maybe we can find some that not even Remus has found, huh?"
"Out of interest, vat is dein Onkel's surnäme?" Jan asked me, unnecessarily pronouncing an umlaut on the 'a' in 'name.'
"Lupin."
"Lupin?"
"Lupin."
"Isn't a lupin some sort of volfsbane plant?"
Good grief, she's right! It's spelt lupine, but pronounced the same. Does that mean I have an Uncle Wolfsbane? Yeshu Kristos! (that's Jesus Christ in Greek)
3.00pm
Hahahahahahaha! Mwahahahehehee!! We've found a passage! We've found a passage. Knowing Rip Van Wolfsbane, he's already found it.
"So, ve sort of tap das vitch and say 'Düsseldorf, ja?"
"No, Düsseldorf is a town in Germany. We say Dissendium!"
"Ah. Ok."
3.30pm
Went into the passage and came out in somewhat like a cellar. Where are we?
"Vhere are ve?" Jan asked. Isn't that what I just thought? Pulease, try to be original!
"Dunno. Let's have a look in these boxes, huh?"
We had a look in the boxes. Tonnes and tonnes of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. She searches, she scores!
"I love this stuff!" I yelled, cramming a load in my pocket. Jan looked on uncertainly.
"Isn't stealing bad?" She asked. I shrugged.
"Come on then, Miss Good-Karma, let's go."
I closed the box and we headed back up the tunnel.
4.00pm
Have given a load of sweets to Ron and Pothead. I said my mum sent them during the free. Jan smirked. She didn't tell Ron that she had hidden three Galleons inside one of the Gum wrappers.
I think she has a crush on him. Good God!
Of course, the only person worth having a crush on in this school is Professor Quirrell. And he hugged me. Ooooooooooooooooohhhhh myyyyyyyyy gooooooood.....
5.00pm
End of free period. Have 2 and a half hours to get ready for dinner. Joy. How long do these people think I need to get ready for dinner? Two and a half hours... they have some serious problems at this place.
"Howabout Karaoke?" I suggested. I was ready for dinner, and so were Jan, Pothead and Ron. I've sort of forgiven Ron for yesterday. It did get me a hug from CTTG.
"Vas ist this Karaoke?" Jan asked.
"It is vere you sing, my little Hispaño-Deustch friend. Anyone know the Ketchup Song? I could get out my Cello..."
"You play a Cello?" Pothead asked with interest.
"And a Violin, but I definitely prefer Cello for rock songs. Violin's better in the minor." I told him, putting my musical knowledge into practice. Unfortunately, I don't think he understood me.
I uncased my lovely black (surprise surprise. My violin's black too. No, seriously!) Cello. And I tuned it. And played it to the Ketchup Song by Las Ketchup.
"I said A-Hey, Ha, A-Hey, A-Something Something ladidadi nanananananana winning the beat!" I sang, badly out of tune. Then I put my Cello away and started mad dancing.
Happy days.
7.30pm
Finally! I was getting Dinner Withdrawal Syndrome!
"You have cabbage on your robes, did you know?" Baby B said to Pothead. I don't think Pothead took any notice, though. Mind you, I didn't wither, and put more cabbage there on purpose.
"I don't know why, why, but I love to see you cry!" I sang. Jan slapped me.
"Vould you shut up! CTTG's coming ofer this vay!" She hissed. I sobered up immediately.
"Ah, K-katz." CTTG stuttered. "M-my office. N-n-nine o'clock prompt."
Damn! Detention should be illegalised!
I hate him! I hate him!
Oh, I love him! I love him!
8.00pm
Jan and Harry are giving me strange looks. Probably because I'm still staring after Professor Quirrell whispering 'I hate you; I hate you; I ha...love you; I love you'
I hate myself. I really do. Why do I keep embarrassing myself like this?
8.30pm
This is technically the end of the school day, as dinner has finished, so we're allowed to wear own clothes. I've rushed upstairs to get my Skater Baggies, Wooly Hat and Vans (Skate Shoes) on.
I have this flame and black skater hat, black baggy jeans and a black baggy T-Shirt. And Black Skate Shoes. I look like the Grim Reaper.
"You look like the Grim Reaper." Ron told me when I showed him. "Actually, the name suits you! That's your new nickname! Grim Reaper!"
Great. I am now officially a member of the Undead. Keep me away from stakes. I may go hysterical.
9.00pm
I am now outside that Sexy Bastard Quirrell's office. Why the heck did he have to give me detention? Wonder what I'll do? I heard from a second year Ravenclaw that a friend of a friend of a Hufflepuff called Graham Grimsby got taken into detention by Snape and came back in a state of nervous collapse. They found out he had had to disembowel Giant Snails.
Gross.
"C-come in." I heard from inside the office. I opened the door. Quirrell was seated at his desk.
"Hey, Professor!" I smiled winningly. He stared at my skater stuff.
"Can you actually move in that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I frowned.
"What happened to you stutter and isn't this supposed to be a detention?" I asked.~
"Ah, yes. Your b-behaviour yesterday was abominable."
"That wasn't my fault, Professor! The Weasley Twins, they kidnapped me and -"
But I got no further because he placed a finger on my lips and shook his head. I was frozen. Wasn't paedophilia illegal? Not that I care, because it's Quirrell, but you would think a teacher to know better, huh?
"Yes, I know that. But, you see, there was something else that I noticed." He whispered in my ear. "It doesn't take three monkeys and a Hufflepuff to notice that you have a crush."
"Wha-?"
"You kind of go all squidgy when you see me. Try not to make it so obvious! I'll do my best to cover up, so you do your bit."
What is he talking about?
"Huh?" I said intellectually.
"For a Slytherin Cunning you can be very slow!" He chided. "Put the pieces togetehr logically. Good god!"
"You called? Actually, call me Grim Reaper because everyone else does now."
It was his turn to be clueless.
"What are you talking about?"
"You fancy me, don't you?" I yelled, putting two and two together to make four instead of five. "That's why you've called this detention!"
"Shhh!" He hissed. "Not so loud! I can't guarantee that these offices are sound proof."
I started limbo dancing as he checked his papers. He looked up to see me halfway under his desk. So he looked under his desk. Clever man, this one. Can't get anything past him!
"What are you doing" He asked suspiciously.
"Limbo dancing."
"God, you're weird."
Then we looked at each other and burst out laughing.
10.00pm
Hahahaha! I'm still laughing. Great sense of humor, Quirrell. Brilliant. And I still can't believe I have a date with him.
I've changed my mind; I don't wanna kill meself.
Detention was only an hour. Quirrell said that Snape and the other teachers could make it go on all night if they wanted. He said Filch was the worst.
Good grief! How on earth did Filch (that sadistic man) ever become a teacher here? He'd be well fitted in a Muggle school. Everyone's mean in Muggle schools.
"Hey, Grim!" Called Harry as I walked into the Gryffindor Common Room. "How was detention?"
"Crap. I had to help Quirrell file his paperwork." I lied. "Stupid twitchy bastard."
I crossed my fingers behind my back.
10.05pm
"Meine freunde!" Jan called as I entered the dorm. "How vas detention vith CTTG?"
"Brill." I answered wearily. I knew I could trust Jan. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you!"
"Vell? Vhat happened?"
"I got a date." I sighed before burying my head in the pillow. Then I remembered my promise not to suffocate myself, so I looked up at Jan. She looked envious.
"You got a date? Vith who?"
"Quirrell. And you're English is getting better."
"You are a great freunde. Can I get friendly vith your date?"
"Conversation only." I warned. Then we both burst into hysterical creepy giggles. "No flirting."
"O-o-ok, meine fr-fr-fr-heeheehee-freunde."
I love my life, but I am still considering substituting Jan for a Lemur.
11.00pm
Jan and I stayed up for ages talking, but then, mid-creepy giggle, I heard a thud and she didn't speak anymore.
I guessed she'd either fainted, hyperventilated or gone to sleep. When I checked, she had gone to sleep. TEEEEEEEEEEHHHHEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
12.00am
I got a date with Quirrell! I got a Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
7.00am
Haha! For once I got a good night's sleep without being woken up by teletubbies or mutant owls from hell!
I woke Jan, who seemed a bit disorientated.
"You vere hugged by CTTG! You vere hugged by CTTG!" She whispered in a kind of dazed fashion. How does she know about that? I was alone!
"You vere saying so in your sleep, ja?" She explained when I asked her. I am so stupid. Why the hell was I saying that in my sleep? I am such a dumbass.
"Why were you listening to what I was saying in my sleep?" I asked, feeling pretty pissed off.
"It is funny, ja?" Jan said. "I mean, the other day you vere saying something about 'ja, mein Hertz. I vill see you tomorrow!' And then you said 'ow! Vat the hell vas that?!'"
Am thinking of killing self or going to sleep wearing duct tape.
7.30pm
Breakfast! The Weasleys are a bloody load of hypocrites! Asking me if I'm feeling ok and saying they're sorry for poisoning me with excessive caffeine. If they mean any of it, then I'll eat my own turban!
"Oh, by the way, Justice." Harry Pothead said offhandedly. "Professor Quirrell told me - very inebriated - that you had a detention with him tonight for running around causing a riot and general panic."
Well, that lousy son-of-a- ! I have a good mind to tell him to screw his detention and go take some alcohol pops or something. I won't have time to go! What with my Muggle homework! I still have half a Hound of the Baskervilles review to write, too. And then I have to study Macbeth. And then Jekyll and Hyde. Were they planning on giving me anytime to sleep?
"Great." I muttered, feeling rebellious. "However, it's Charms and then Flying to look forward to!" I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Don't tell anyone, but I have my own broom here with me."
Ron's eyes widened.
"What type?" He asked. "Nimbus 2K?"
"Nah, not a Nimbus. It's a foreign make. It's from Australia, where my Uncle Rohan lives. He was married to my Mum's sister, Artemisa. They called her Misa, but Misa was Misa-rible and, according to my mum, killed herself halfway through Vol - sorry, You-Know-Who's reign. Then Rohan moved to Auzzie and sent me my broomstick for my 10th birthday."
"Well?" Ron asked, getting frustrated. "What make is it?"
"It's one of the new enhanced 'Rampage X' 'Dust' models."
"Rampage...X?" Pothead asked slowly, not sure whether he heard correctly.
"Rampage X is the name of the company. Dust is the name of the model."
"...oh."
10.00am
Absolutely nothing of interest happened and am now half-way through Charms. We're polishing up on Moving Charms. Of course, I can already do it so I'm chatting to Helena, who I haven't seen since the first day.
"Helena, how are you?" I asked. She sneered.
"Shut up, Gryffindor."
"Helena, it's me. You know. Now say it slowly. Justice...Katz."
"I know who you are!" She snarled at me. "And what you did to our Head of House!"
Good grief! Is that what this is all about? Jesus Christ! I don't know what's worse, being accused of trying to kill him by my previous best friend or having people say he looks like my father!
My father? That's stupid! Who would want to marry that!
11.00am
Have written a letter to Mr Olllivander.
'Dear Mr Freaky-Vampy-Type-Guy-Called-Ollivander,
Can you please tell me who bought a Redwood and Wyvern Scale Wand from your shop? Au Revoir, Thy Freakiness, Justice Katz'
11.30am
Am now pissing Helena off. Why does she care that I nearly killed her Head of House? Jesus, if someone nearly killed McG then I wouldn't be moaning, I'd be partying!
"Would you just go away?" Helena snapped, losing her self control. "Jesus!"
"You called?" I answered wittily. There. Now she thinks I'm God. She's holding a crucifix towards me. What the hell good will that do?
Ah yes. Jesus is scared of crucifixes because he dies on one. Or at least that's what she thinks.
"Call...me...Esben?" She asked, reading the T-Shirt I showed her.
"Yeah. It's my middle name. It means God." I told her.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight..."
12.00pm
End of Charms. Am at Luncheon with Jan, Ron and Pothead. What is for lunch, I hear you say. My reply to that is a whole pile of bullshite.
Shite. I like that word.
"School, I have an announcement to make." Dumbledore said, standing up. "Due to circumstances beyond our control, Madam Hooch, the flying teacher, has gone to Nigeria to referee some important Quidditch matches. Forthwith, any Flying Practices are cancelled. They will restart on her return, mid- October."
Shite. It's a bloody wreck, this school. Teacher's stuttering here, skiving a day off there, going to Nigeria to referee Quidditch matches...
I hate school.
1.00pm
Hang on. No flying. That means I have a free afternoon to do whatever the hell I want!
"Hey, Jan, want to come exploring with me?" I asked.
"Ja! Free afternoon, vhile all of the other people vill be at lessons, nein?"
"We can go and find secret passages and rooms! Hell, only we will know about them! I'm sure Hogwarts has tonnes!"
"Ja!"
"My Uncle Remus, he was one of the Marauders. They looked for passages and that. He was Moony. There was Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. They made a map, but it was confiscated in their last year. I think a first-year Hufflepuff found it and handed it in."
"Damn Hufflepuff." Muttered Jan darkly.
"I know. Maybe we can find some that not even Remus has found, huh?"
"Out of interest, vat is dein Onkel's surnäme?" Jan asked me, unnecessarily pronouncing an umlaut on the 'a' in 'name.'
"Lupin."
"Lupin?"
"Lupin."
"Isn't a lupin some sort of volfsbane plant?"
Good grief, she's right! It's spelt lupine, but pronounced the same. Does that mean I have an Uncle Wolfsbane? Yeshu Kristos! (that's Jesus Christ in Greek)
3.00pm
Hahahahahahaha! Mwahahahehehee!! We've found a passage! We've found a passage. Knowing Rip Van Wolfsbane, he's already found it.
"So, ve sort of tap das vitch and say 'Düsseldorf, ja?"
"No, Düsseldorf is a town in Germany. We say Dissendium!"
"Ah. Ok."
3.30pm
Went into the passage and came out in somewhat like a cellar. Where are we?
"Vhere are ve?" Jan asked. Isn't that what I just thought? Pulease, try to be original!
"Dunno. Let's have a look in these boxes, huh?"
We had a look in the boxes. Tonnes and tonnes of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. She searches, she scores!
"I love this stuff!" I yelled, cramming a load in my pocket. Jan looked on uncertainly.
"Isn't stealing bad?" She asked. I shrugged.
"Come on then, Miss Good-Karma, let's go."
I closed the box and we headed back up the tunnel.
4.00pm
Have given a load of sweets to Ron and Pothead. I said my mum sent them during the free. Jan smirked. She didn't tell Ron that she had hidden three Galleons inside one of the Gum wrappers.
I think she has a crush on him. Good God!
Of course, the only person worth having a crush on in this school is Professor Quirrell. And he hugged me. Ooooooooooooooooohhhhh myyyyyyyyy gooooooood.....
5.00pm
End of free period. Have 2 and a half hours to get ready for dinner. Joy. How long do these people think I need to get ready for dinner? Two and a half hours... they have some serious problems at this place.
"Howabout Karaoke?" I suggested. I was ready for dinner, and so were Jan, Pothead and Ron. I've sort of forgiven Ron for yesterday. It did get me a hug from CTTG.
"Vas ist this Karaoke?" Jan asked.
"It is vere you sing, my little Hispaño-Deustch friend. Anyone know the Ketchup Song? I could get out my Cello..."
"You play a Cello?" Pothead asked with interest.
"And a Violin, but I definitely prefer Cello for rock songs. Violin's better in the minor." I told him, putting my musical knowledge into practice. Unfortunately, I don't think he understood me.
I uncased my lovely black (surprise surprise. My violin's black too. No, seriously!) Cello. And I tuned it. And played it to the Ketchup Song by Las Ketchup.
"I said A-Hey, Ha, A-Hey, A-Something Something ladidadi nanananananana winning the beat!" I sang, badly out of tune. Then I put my Cello away and started mad dancing.
Happy days.
7.30pm
Finally! I was getting Dinner Withdrawal Syndrome!
"You have cabbage on your robes, did you know?" Baby B said to Pothead. I don't think Pothead took any notice, though. Mind you, I didn't wither, and put more cabbage there on purpose.
"I don't know why, why, but I love to see you cry!" I sang. Jan slapped me.
"Vould you shut up! CTTG's coming ofer this vay!" She hissed. I sobered up immediately.
"Ah, K-katz." CTTG stuttered. "M-my office. N-n-nine o'clock prompt."
Damn! Detention should be illegalised!
I hate him! I hate him!
Oh, I love him! I love him!
8.00pm
Jan and Harry are giving me strange looks. Probably because I'm still staring after Professor Quirrell whispering 'I hate you; I hate you; I ha...love you; I love you'
I hate myself. I really do. Why do I keep embarrassing myself like this?
8.30pm
This is technically the end of the school day, as dinner has finished, so we're allowed to wear own clothes. I've rushed upstairs to get my Skater Baggies, Wooly Hat and Vans (Skate Shoes) on.
I have this flame and black skater hat, black baggy jeans and a black baggy T-Shirt. And Black Skate Shoes. I look like the Grim Reaper.
"You look like the Grim Reaper." Ron told me when I showed him. "Actually, the name suits you! That's your new nickname! Grim Reaper!"
Great. I am now officially a member of the Undead. Keep me away from stakes. I may go hysterical.
9.00pm
I am now outside that Sexy Bastard Quirrell's office. Why the heck did he have to give me detention? Wonder what I'll do? I heard from a second year Ravenclaw that a friend of a friend of a Hufflepuff called Graham Grimsby got taken into detention by Snape and came back in a state of nervous collapse. They found out he had had to disembowel Giant Snails.
Gross.
"C-come in." I heard from inside the office. I opened the door. Quirrell was seated at his desk.
"Hey, Professor!" I smiled winningly. He stared at my skater stuff.
"Can you actually move in that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I frowned.
"What happened to you stutter and isn't this supposed to be a detention?" I asked.~
"Ah, yes. Your b-behaviour yesterday was abominable."
"That wasn't my fault, Professor! The Weasley Twins, they kidnapped me and -"
But I got no further because he placed a finger on my lips and shook his head. I was frozen. Wasn't paedophilia illegal? Not that I care, because it's Quirrell, but you would think a teacher to know better, huh?
"Yes, I know that. But, you see, there was something else that I noticed." He whispered in my ear. "It doesn't take three monkeys and a Hufflepuff to notice that you have a crush."
"Wha-?"
"You kind of go all squidgy when you see me. Try not to make it so obvious! I'll do my best to cover up, so you do your bit."
What is he talking about?
"Huh?" I said intellectually.
"For a Slytherin Cunning you can be very slow!" He chided. "Put the pieces togetehr logically. Good god!"
"You called? Actually, call me Grim Reaper because everyone else does now."
It was his turn to be clueless.
"What are you talking about?"
"You fancy me, don't you?" I yelled, putting two and two together to make four instead of five. "That's why you've called this detention!"
"Shhh!" He hissed. "Not so loud! I can't guarantee that these offices are sound proof."
I started limbo dancing as he checked his papers. He looked up to see me halfway under his desk. So he looked under his desk. Clever man, this one. Can't get anything past him!
"What are you doing" He asked suspiciously.
"Limbo dancing."
"God, you're weird."
Then we looked at each other and burst out laughing.
10.00pm
Hahahaha! I'm still laughing. Great sense of humor, Quirrell. Brilliant. And I still can't believe I have a date with him.
I've changed my mind; I don't wanna kill meself.
Detention was only an hour. Quirrell said that Snape and the other teachers could make it go on all night if they wanted. He said Filch was the worst.
Good grief! How on earth did Filch (that sadistic man) ever become a teacher here? He'd be well fitted in a Muggle school. Everyone's mean in Muggle schools.
"Hey, Grim!" Called Harry as I walked into the Gryffindor Common Room. "How was detention?"
"Crap. I had to help Quirrell file his paperwork." I lied. "Stupid twitchy bastard."
I crossed my fingers behind my back.
10.05pm
"Meine freunde!" Jan called as I entered the dorm. "How vas detention vith CTTG?"
"Brill." I answered wearily. I knew I could trust Jan. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you!"
"Vell? Vhat happened?"
"I got a date." I sighed before burying my head in the pillow. Then I remembered my promise not to suffocate myself, so I looked up at Jan. She looked envious.
"You got a date? Vith who?"
"Quirrell. And you're English is getting better."
"You are a great freunde. Can I get friendly vith your date?"
"Conversation only." I warned. Then we both burst into hysterical creepy giggles. "No flirting."
"O-o-ok, meine fr-fr-fr-heeheehee-freunde."
I love my life, but I am still considering substituting Jan for a Lemur.
11.00pm
Jan and I stayed up for ages talking, but then, mid-creepy giggle, I heard a thud and she didn't speak anymore.
I guessed she'd either fainted, hyperventilated or gone to sleep. When I checked, she had gone to sleep. TEEEEEEEEEEHHHHEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
12.00am
I got a date with Quirrell! I got a Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...