Disclaimer: I don't own M*A*SH.

A/N: I am not sure if I am going to keep going with this one or leave it here, it depends on the feedback.

Hawkeye stormed out of the OR after the deluge of patients was finished. Angry as hell and desperate for a drink. He had one he whole night without losing a patient, but that last kid.

Trapper John ran to catch up with him. "Hawk, wait a tick," he yelled to the departing figure of his friend. Hawkeye just kept walking. He reached the Swamp and sat on his cot, Trapper followed close behind. "There was nothing you could have done," he trailed off.

"No, there was nothing else I could think to do. I must have missed something. In a place fit for people, I maybe could have saved him. If only this place weren't medically medieval."

"You can't help that now, can you? You did the best you could under these crappy circumstances."

Hawkeye laughed bitterly, "My best wasn't good enough, was it?" He poured himself a martini. He threw it back in one gulp, then started on his second.

"You know that stuff will take the lining off your stomach."

"So?"

Trapper continued, "And your problems will still be there when you sober up. I know from bitter experience."

Hawkeye got up to leave. Trapper pulled him down again. "This is no time to be alone," he said sternly. "As much as you don't want to, you'll just have to put up with me for a bit."

Hawkeye glared at him. "Leave me alone."

Trapper was determined, "No."

Hawkeye gave in, "Fine, just don't expect me to be decent company."

Trapper raised an eyebrow, "Hawk, you're never decent company." His only reply was a small hiccuping sound. He turned to face Hawkeye. There were silent tears streaming down his face. Trapper went over and put his arm over his shoulder, making quiet, soothing noises, as though comforting a small child. "It's okay Hawk, let it all out."

Hawkeye started sobbing uncontrollably. He buried his face in his friend's chest. After a while the huge howls died down into tiny whimpers. In the end, Hawkeye cried himself to sleep. Trapper, realising that getting up would wake him, made himself as comfortable as possible, and tried to do the same.

He had just fallen asleep when Frank Burns, fink extraordinaire, walked in. A look of horror passed over his face. "You perverts," he hissed his voice full of venom. He turned around and stormed off to get Henry and show him what Pierce and McIntyre were doing. The fact they weren't actually doing anything had escaped his notice.

He went over to the CO's tent, "Colonel," he yelled out.

Still half asleep, Henry said, "Lorraine, I think the dog wants to be let in."

Frank considered this for a second, before storming in tot he small tent. "Colonel, I demand you come see what Pierce and McIntyre are doing."

Now close to fully awake, Henry began to comprehend who was talking to him, "What the hell? Frank, I really don't care what Hawkeye and Trapper are doing."

"But Colonel, it's, it's, it's illegal and perverted. I want them court martialled."

It was snowing outside and Henry really didn't want to get out of bed, "Frank, can't you just pretend you didn't see whatever it was?"

Ferret Face looked shocked at the very idea. "But sir, they're a pair of homosexuals."

The last word finally woke Henry up completely, "WHAT?! Frank, that's a very serious accusation."

"It's true."

"Fine, show me what you wanted to show me." Henry got up slowly and threw on his robe. He and Frank headed over to the Swamp. They walked in to see Trapper's arm still around Hawkeye's shoulder. Henry turned to face Frank, "You got me up for this?"

"But Colonel, they're asleep in the same cot, touching," Frank stammered.

"So? That doesn't make them, you know."

This woke Trapper, "Wha?" he asked sleepily.

Frank shot him a death stare, "You animal."

Now Trapper was just confused, he tried to think of something nasty he and Hawkeye might have done, but drew a blank. "Frank, what did we do this time?" he asked.

Frank just looked horrified and stalked out of the Swamp. Trapper shot Henry a questioning look. Henry went and sat on the chair near Hawk's cot. "Frank walked in and saw you two like this, and assumed that, well, you know."

"No, I don't know."

"That you were playing for the other team."

Trapper blushed, recalling some of the thoughts he had about his best friend. "Oh, that you know."

Henry looked at him strangely, well, stranger than usual anyway, "Is there something I should know? No, even if there is, I don't want to know."

Trapper got really indignant. "Henry, Hawkeye was upset about losing a kid he had tried so hard to save. I tried to comfort him and he cried himself to sleep. That's all, period."

"Fine, I believe you. But if needs comforting again try to do it while Frank isn't here." Trapper glared at him, "OK, I get the hint. Leaving now." He got up and left, leaving Trapper alone with his thoughts.

'Maybe I am.' he thought. He and Hawkeye were always together, and he did feel funny when he and Hawkeye touched. No, he couldn't be, he was happily married after all. Well, not so much happily married as just plain married but. "Oh God, what's happening to me?" he said to himself. He got up and gently tried to get his arm out from under Hawkeye. He woke him up in the process.

"Wha? Where are you going? Come back."

"Shhh, go back to sleep."

"No." Hawkeye was confused, Trapper had been there comforting him, now he was leaving. "Please come back."

"I can't do this," Trap whispered, his breathing becoming ragged.

"Can't do what? Comfort a friend?"

"No, I mean yes. I don't know." The anguish and confusion showed on his face. He knew he had feelings for Hawkeye, but he also knew that giving in to them would destroy them both. He sat down on the foot of Hawk's cot. He put his head in his hands, "God, when did life get so complicated?"

It had started to dawn on Hawkeye what was going through Trapper's head, "What happened?" he asked gently.

Trapper told him about Frank finding them and going to Henry. Henry asking them to be more careful. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm married, I'm not s'posed to find men attractive."

"You think I'm attractive?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

Trapper looked up at him, slightly shocked at this confession. "So this isn't just me?"

"No," Hawk sat up and looked down, "I think about you a lot."

"But you're such a womaniser."

Hawkeye looked up at that, "So are you?"

Trapper grinned, "Oh yeah, I am too," he said sheepishly.

Hawkeye looked him in the eye, "Now what?"

"I really don't know, let's start with this." He gave his friend a light kiss on the lips. It sent pleasant tingles running down his spine. He gave a slight shudder.

Hawkeye smiled up at him, "It would be rude if I didn't return the favour." He kissed him back, harder this time.

"Please stop," Trapper asked quietly.

Hawkeye was starting to enjoy himself. "Why?" he asked teasingly.

"Because if we go any further, I don't think I'll be able to. I don't want to make trouble for Henry, or for you, or for me for that matter."

Hawkeye looked disappointed but knew it was for the best. "Okay, but only for now."

Trapper smiled at him, "Only for now," he repeated.