"Are you going to be able to do this?" Buffy asked as she and Spike walked to the mansion.
He set his jaw tight and took a deep breath. "I'll do what I have to do."
"Even if it means killing Drusilla?"
"I'd rather it not come to that," he admitted.
She stopped and gave him an angry glare. It irritated him. He'd told her about Dru and sought her help. What more did she want?
"What?" he demanded.
"You don't want her dead."
"Of course I don't want her dead. She's my bloody *sire* and my Dark Princess for a hundred years."
"Need I remind you that you sought my help because she was a big ho?"
He scowled. "I remember very well, Slayer, and I remember her leavin' me *twice* until I left for good. I was faithful to her until the end. Until she tossed me away for not bein' what she wanted me to be."
Her anger faded to sadness and recrimination, and he knew she was thinking of Riley.
"I get that. Speaking of ex's, whatever happened to Harmony?" she asked, changing the subject.
"Packed 'er off to LA a couple of days ago. She'd come back from a shopping spree over that way and I decided it was best for her to get lost with all the trouble with Glory hangin' about. Bint's too stupid not to let somethin' spill. So I boxed up 'er stuff and sent 'er off."
It hadn't actually happened quite so caustically or as cruel as he made it sound. In actuality, he had sat her down and explained to her that he couldn't love her because his heart belonged to another. He allowed her to think he was still in love with Drusilla and did nothing to correct her assumptions. They'd made love then, one last time, and the first time he had taken her without anger or fantasy in his heart. She'd cried afterwards, and he had shed a tear or two, but she hadn't tried to stay. He saw her off the night before Dawn stopped by to visit him, her many piles of clothes stuffed in two burgeoning suitcases he had stolen from the mall. She'd kissed him good-bye, told him she loved him, and that if he could ever let go of Dru, he would know where to look for her. Then she was gone and he was alone, but that was probably for the best.
He came out of his memory to see Buffy glaring at him.
"What did I do now?"
"You don't treat your women very well, do you Spike."
"Bloody hell I don't! I gave Dru everythin' she ever wanted! I was her slave for a hundred years!" he snapped back.
"And Harmony? She loved you and you kicked her to the curb. I remember what you did to her during that whole Gem of Amarra fiasco!"
He flinched and gritted his teeth. "Harmony was a mistake. I admit it. Dru had left me again, I was weak and she was there. I was wrong to think I could love her and she…"
He stopped, sudden realization hitting him, and stared at Buffy like a deer caught in headlights.
'She knows! She knows I love her! Oh, bloody hell!'
"You heard your mum and I talkin' the other night, didn't you," he said.
She looked away, her lips pursed, and he knew that she had.
"Balls. I suppose that you will now tell me that I am a soulless, evil thing incapable of real feelings," he accused.
He saw her choosing her words carefully, and when she spoke it was with forced calmness.
"Giles has told me that you admitted to… loving me while you were under the Truth spell," she said, making him flinch and curse Giles. "That means, that whatever you think you feel, you believe it to be true."
She looked at him, her face resolved. "But Spike, you have to know that whatever you think you feel can't be real."
"Bollocks!"
She drew herself up, facing him. "Demons can't love. They don't have souls. Both Angel and Giles have told me so."
He snarled. "And if Watcher and the Great Poof say it, then it must be true! Is that it?! Newsflash Slayer: demons *can* love. We can love quite well. Your problem is if that's true then Angelus could have loved you after he lost the precious soul. What you don't realize is that he *did* and that was why he hated you so much. Love was and has always been a weakness for Angelus. You made him feel it and he couldn't handle that. That was Angelus' problem, not a demon one. Now me, on the other hand, I've always been love's bitch and I'm not afraid to admit it."
He advanced on her and she looked alarmed for a moment, so he stopped.
"I love you, Slayer. I know I love you. And I know it's wrong and against everythin' we both are but I can't help how I feel."
She shook her head, parroting back what she had been taught. "Demon's can't love."
"Bollocks, and you know it. I love you. I love you so much it chokes me. Seein' you in pain and knowin' I don't have the right to comfort you. Wantin' so badly to touch you and knowin' I can't, that I'm not allowed. Acceptin' what little crumbs you toss me. This is Hell for me, every day."
"Fine! Then leave! No one is making you stay," she snapped.
He scowled at her, eyes flashing yellow. "No. I won't leave you. I won't be like all those other wankers that left you and made you feel like you were unworthy of love. You may not love me. You may never love me, but I don't walk out on the ones I love, and I protect them, with everything I've got."
She looked at him and he knew she was recalling the words and promise she had overheard him make to Joyce.
"And Mom and Dawn? Are you just being nice to them to get into my good graces?"
He recoiled, offended. "Hell, no! Like your mum and Nibblet. They're family to me. Wouldn't hurt a hair on their heads even if I didn't have this bloody chip in my brain."
He stopped and they stared at each other, both reeling and breathing hard, until he looked away.
"Rupert and the Scoobies are family too. And right now Dru has one of 'em. We got bigger problems that what's goin' on between you and me, Slayer. Let's deal with the most urgent things first, shall we? Neither of us is goin' anywhere and we can deal with all this stuff later."
She stared at him a bit longer, then her shoulders dropped and she nodded. "Okay. Deal. For now, let's go rescue Giles. But we'll have to talk about it eventually, Spike."
He sighed and agreed, following her as she marched off.
'Don't I know it.'
*******
Drusilla was true to her word and did not use any of the 'toys' on the bed upon him. She did keep him tied, however, trussed to the chair with barely enough room to breathe. He bided the time by using some meditation techniques and mental conditioning exercises in preparation for doing battle with Drusilla. Knowing she had raided his mind before, gave him extra incentive to protect himself from her psychic attacks.
He was busy focusing all his attention on a single spot of dirt on the rug when movement in his peripheral vision distracted him. At first he thought it was Drusilla coming back into the room, but then he realized that it had approached from the wrong direction. His senses were tingling and he tensed, then something touched his back lightly. He jumped and gasped, but a cool hand covered his mouth to muffle the noise.
"S'ok, Watcher. 'S me," Spike's voice whispered in his ear and the hand was pulled away.
"Oh thank God. Spike, Drusilla is here," he whispered back.
"I know," came the reply from behind him as he heard the sound of ropes being cut.
"Is Buffy with you?"
"Yeah. We split up when we came in. Where's Dru?"
"I don't know. She left the room about an hour ago and hasn't been back since," he replied, pulling his now free arms forward and working his hands to return the circulation to the numb limbs.
He saw Spike take a glance at the bed, saw the shoulders tense and the faint shudder run through the vampire's body.
"Did she hurt you?" Spike asked softly.
"Oddly, no."
Spike gave a tight nod.
"Can you stand?"
He felt his legs and wiggled his toes, grimacing at the pain as they came back to life. "I will be able to in a minute."
"Dunno if we have that much time, Watcher."
"Well, I am doing my best here."
Spike snorted. "Might have to carry you out if it comes to it."
"Over my dead body," he snipped back, rubbing his calves.
"Hmph, that can be arranged, Watcher. Dru comes back, we gotta bugger out of here and fast."
"Too late, my William," came Dru's voice from the doorway and they both froze.
Turning their heads as one, they faced the vampiress standing by the entrance. She was glassy-eyes and flushed, and she held a bloody chef's knife in her hand.
'Oh good Lord. Buffy…' Looking over at Spike, he saw an expression of horror that he was certain was on his own face.
Spike moved so that he was standing between him and Drusilla, and Giles could barely see the vampires from around Spike's body.
"Drusilla. Darling…" Spike began, but was cut off by Drusilla's gasp of disbelief.
"No. No! No! It's all wrong! All wrong! Burning crickets in your head!" Drusilla cried, her eyes going crazed and wild.
"Dru…" Spike tried again, but she wasn't listening.
"It's not true! It's not too late! I can cut it out!"
Giles had rarely seen a vampire move with the true speed that they were capable of, but he saw the blur that was Drusilla streak towards them. Spike barely had enough time to move further between them before she had him within reach. She grabbed Spike with one hand and literally threw him onto the bed. He landed on top of several of the weapons she had gathered there and his legs kicked off a mace and two daggers.
Both vampires let out twin screams as Drusilla straddled her prone Childe and stabbed him in the chest.
"Cut it out! Cut it out! Swirling nasties behind your eyes! What have you done to my William?!"
Barely able to stand, he rose to his feet, horrified as Drusilla continued to repeatedly stab Spike while he howled in agony.
'She can see the soul and she's trying to cut it out!'
Reaching a shaky hand to grab the fallen mace, he swung with all his strength and slammed Drusilla in the skull. She let out a shriek and collapsed as the blow knocked her from the bed and sent her crashing into the wall.
"Spike!" Giles gasped, dropping the mace and staggering to look at him.
Blood was splattered all over the bed and the vampire's shirt was slashed to ribbons, much like his chest, but he was still undead and conscious. Pain-filled eyes looked at him from the contorted, demon face.
"Find Buffy!" the vampire ordered though his gasps of anguish.
"I'm here!" Buffy said, and he turned his head to see his Slayer standing in the doorway, one hand holding a bleeding cut on her upper arm, while the other held a stake at ready.
"Buffy!" he cried, joy and relief flooding into him.
"Where's Drusilla?" she demanded.
He pointed to the crumpled body on the floor and Buffy moved in for the kill.
"No!" he heard Spike beg.
The vampire was trying to sit up, one hand reaching out in supplication. Buffy paused, her eyes growing wide at the sight of him.
"No, please. I don't care what you do with her. Chain 'er up and toss her in the cargo hold of a slow boat to China or whatever. But please don't kill her. Please.'
He'd never seen Spike plead for anything, but the open grief on the vampire's face was heartbreaking. Buffy lowered her stake and made a tentative step towards the bed.
"What happened?"
"Drusilla tried to cut out Spike's… heart," he explained, hedging just a bit.
Spike gave him a grateful look and slumped back to the mattress, drained. He lost consciousness a moment later.
"Geeze, talk about a bad hack job," Buffy breathed. "I hope that wasn't his favorite shirt."
He gave her a look that spoke of the inappropriateness of her humor and she had the decency to look contrite.
"Is it safe to move him?" she asked.
He nodded. "My guess is that if we use one of these velvet curtains as a gurney, it should be all right."
"We just have to get him outside. Mom said she was calling Xander before we left to come here. He should be here soon."
He acknowledged her answer as he reached for one of the dusty curtains, tugging on it. Buffy reached past him, yanking the curtain and the wooden rod down with one pull. She gave him a guilty look, but he just smiled at her. Then they worked together to wrap Spike in the heavy fabric, grimacing at the amount of blood the vampire had lost.
"We should contain Drusilla there's no telling when she will awaken," he warned.
Buffy agreed and trussed the unconscious vampiress in two sets of her own chains.
When they were ready, Buffy picked Spike up and carried him towards the exit.
"Buffy, do you…" he offered.
"Nah, I got him. For a dead guy, he's not that much dead weight," she replied, trying to make a joke but the humor didn't make it to her eyes. "I'll come back in for the nut-job ho."
He gave a strained nod and followed her as they made their way outside to wait for Xander to arrive.