Well, from the number of reveiws I've gotten, I know that you folks are simply dying to see what happens next. Either that or dead. C'mon, it's very easy to do!
The Funniship of the Ring. Book 8.
Or, In Which Piping Finds His True Calling.
Hoho woke up the next morning stiff and sore. Not from their long arduous journey from the gates of AmorŽ Land the night previous, but from the shirt of mail that his Uncle Dumbo had given him (and Arrogant sleeping on him). Hoho thought he knew why Dumbo had gotten rid of it.
Hoho whimpered until Arrogant finally whirled around to grab him. But, of course, the man couldn't see him, because the blobbit was still strapped to his back.
"WHERE IS HE?" he roared. (Arrogant had a poor memory sometimes.)
After maybe half an hour, Legless finally quit laughing enough to tell Arrogant where Hoho was.
When Hoho had told Arrogant why he was whining, Arrogant just laughed.
"We'll see why the poor little baby is whimpering!" he said, ripping off Hoho's favorite t-shirt.
Wimpy gasped. Legless covered his mouth.
"So that explains it," he murmured.
"A Worthless coat. You've been wearing this since Flivenbell?" asked Boring incredulously.
Mary, Piping, and Tom looked at him in awe.
Arrogant spoke up. "Woah, man! My advice to you, Hoho, is to chuck that coat into the nearest lake." He looked around at the company. "Since every one is up, shall we get going?"
There was much grumbling among the companions.
"You're a hard man, Arrogant," said Tom.
Arrogant smiled.
"I know," he said.
"You're a cruel man," said the blobbit.
"I know," smiled the man, examining his fingernails.
"You're a heartless man."
"Mmhmm," said Arrogant, admiring himself in the mirror he used to apply his makeup, with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"You're a merciless man."
"Aren't I though?" sighed the man, hugging himself. "Tell me more!"
"You're an ugly man," chimed in Piping.
"An obtuse man," said Mary.
"With a mind like a mousetrap," said Wimpy.
"All the leadership qualities of an angel food cake," said Legless.
"The resourcefulness of a grasshopper," said Hoho. "With a mind like a mousetrap," repeated Wimpy.
"The courage of a bowl of grape Jell-o," said Boring.
"And the figure of a string bean," finished Tom.
"Ah," sighed Arrogant, "I'm glad you see how great a king I will be, someday soon."
He danced around humming for a moment. Then he suddenly remembered where they were going.
"Off to the Loth L—ri Inn!" he cried, stomping off into the underbrush. Almost immediately, they heard a scream that was suddenly cut off. The funniship charged after Arrogant to see what was the matter. Almost immediately, seven screams sounded that were suddenly cut off. For a terrible sight met their eyes.
"Tell me not that that is..." croaked Hoho.
"It is," said Arrogant grimly. "It is the Loth L—ri Inn."
The funniship gasped in horror.
"We make for AmorŽ Land," said Boring.
Then Piping said something that made them all think going to the Inn would be the best plan.
"A bug!" he shrieked, jumping three feet into the air.
The funniship ran as fast as they could towards the building. It was not long, however, until Legless noticed something.
"Corcs!" he shouted.
And indeed, the funniship looked around to see the woods filled with moving shapes.
"They're trying to claim our reservations!" hollered Arrogant.
The funniship ran faster. The door drew nearer, and Hoho felt impending danger closing on him like a door that needed oiling. Finally, they rushed inside and slammed the door.
"Whew," said Mary, "That was too close."
The funniship looked around at the room they were in. It had a red plush carpet that went well with the pale blue wallpaper. At the far end of the room, there was a single door. A desk stood in the middle of the room. Arrogant walked confidently up to it and rang a little bell that stood there.
After several moments, a trap door suddenly appeared and two Selves rappelled out. They were both very tall, and they stared down at the company gravely.
"May we help you?" said one of them, the woman.
"Uh, yeah, Handoff the Gloomy called and made us reservations," said Arrogant, rubbing his head from the nasty crack he had gotten on the ceiling when the trap door opened.
The man consulted a small book. Then he gazed at the company gravely.
"Eight there are gathered here, but nine were set out from Flivenbell. So say the messages. Where now is Handoff, for the check he gave me bounced, and I would much desire to meet him in a dark alley somewhere." He pushed up his sleeves and glared at each of the company, as if they might be the blizzard in disguise.
He stomped up to Hoho and hoisted him up by the collar.
"Are you Handoff?" he growled.
"N-n-no!" stammered Hoho.
Now the woman, who had been gazing at each of the funniship in turn placed a hand on the shoulder of the man.
"Nay, Celebrate," she said in a deep voice, "Handoff is not here. He has fallen into shadow."
"Is this true?" demanded Celebrate.
The funniship nodded. The man and the woman looked at each other.
"YEEHAW!" they shouted, dancing around the room vigorously.
"Please put me down," said Hoho very politely.
"When did this joyous event happen?" cried Celebrate, setting the blobbit down rather carelessly.
"Yesterday evening," said Wimpy capering around.
"I saw him fall," said Arrogant, doing a little jig himself. Then he related the events that led up to the fall of Handoff.
"This is indeed a glad day!" said Celebrate. "And in return for this wonderful news, we will let you stay for half price!"
"Wait," said the woman, "Consider what you are doing!"
"You are right, Gladreel, my dear. I shall give you each a coupon for one eleventh off a month's stay."
He dealt out the slips of paper gravely as soon as Gladreel wrote them up.
"These are good for next week only," he said.
"But, we are on a long journey that may take months," said Arrogant. "We don't even intend to be in this region next week."
"Well," Celebrate shrugged, "If you don't want them..." and he proceeded to take them back.
"But I wanna keep mine," said Wimpy.
Mary bent close to the Daft's ear.
"You aren't thinking of deserting are you, Daft?" he whispered. "I told you I don't want you to do that." He looked at the Daft mournfully, yet pinching his arm as he did so.
"Ow!" said Wimpy. "No no, never mind, I don't need it!"
Arrogant looked at him strangely, then relieved Piping of a small but valuable clock that had been sitting on the desk a moment before.
"It's time for lunch," said Gladreel looking at her watch. "For you are weary and hungry with much toil. Tonight, you will eat in peace."
Then she looked straight at Hoho. He could feel her gaze pierce his daydreams.
"Welcome, Hoho Flaggins of the Mire," her voice said, though her lips did not move. "One who has seen the NOSE!!"
"AAAGGHH!" shouted Hoho jumping up and down.
"I didn't know you had such an aversion to food, Mr. Hoho," said Tom, looking at him puzzled.
"No Tom, she, oh, never mind," said Hoho. "You'd never believe me anyway."
"My, what lovely silverware," said Piping, slipping a rather large silver serving spoon into his pack.
"My, what a lovely looking lunch," said Mary, sneaking a rather large silver serving spoon out of Piping's pack and back onto the table.
They sat down to the table.
"Ok," said Gladreel, "On the count of five everyone grab as much food as they can before it's all gone. Everyone ready? One..."
"No," cried Wimpy, "I haven't even got my napkin on yet!"
"Two..."
"Give him a moment, for pity's sake!" cried Boring.
"Three..."
"Yeah," snickered Legless, "He's so slow that a snail ran him down yesterday!"
"You promised you wouldn't tell!" shouted Wimpy, standing up.
"Eat potatoes, shorty," snarled the Self, throwing a handful of the same.
The Daft stared incredulously at his soiled shirt. Then with a roar he picked up a large bowl of potato salad and heaved it with all his might at Legless. He missed by a mile and it fell plop! onto the head of Arrogant. Piping took this opportunity to slip half a dozen forks into his pack.
Arrogant lifted the bowl off of his head and Hoho could see his eyes burning. The man set the bowl down and stood up, grabbed the edge of the table and heaved it over.
"Four," croaked Gladreel.
"Do we have to wait for you to finish counting, or can we eat now?" queried Tom, wriggling out from under the table and brushing powdered sugar off of his shirt.
Gladreel and Celebrate stared at the mess and nodded wordlessly.
"Hey, powdered sugar," said Mary, "That must mean doughnuts!"
"Ooh!" squealed Boring, lifting the edge of the table and peering earnestly underneath.
"No doughnuts, but a whole lot of angelfood cake!" said Piping wiggling up.
"Goody, ow!" cried Boring, diving under the table and forgetting that he was holding it up.
"This is really disgusting," said Hoho, trying to wipe some mayonnaise off of his shirt.
"You're not kidding," said Arrogant, looking at his reflection in a highly polished plate. "Do you know what this is going to do to my hair?"
"You never looked better," chortled Legless, who alone of the funniship escaped messiness. "I think mustard is your condiment!" He giggled wildly.
"Umm," said Piping, "These pickles are simply yummy! You simply must give Tom the recipe!" Tom had been forced to do all the cooking on the trip.
"Maybe it's the nice crispy bacon wrapped around it," suggested Hoho.
"Mmmm, nice crispy bacon!" said Mary, Piping and Tom.
"Lunch is over," said Celebrate in a high quavery voice.
"Aw," said Mary, "It isn't even 1 o'clock yet!"
"We noticed," said Gladreel in an equally high quavery voice.
"What do you do for fun around here?" said Tom. "Do you have a pool anywhere?"
"A pool!" squealed the rest of the blobbits dashing away.
"No," said Celebrate.
"Hey Arrogant, bring a beachball!" shouted Piping.
"What did you find?" asked Wimpy, going to investigate. He came running back.
"That's so cool!" he cried. "I've never seen such a neat looking pool before! I wish I'd packed my rubber duckies."
"Duckies?" said Legless.
"Rub-a-dub-dub, four blobbits in a tub," came four voices.
"But we don't have a pool," said Gladreel with a worried look on her face.
"Oh dear," said Celebrate, "I hope they haven't found my man eating octopus pond!"
"ARROGANT! IT'S GOT HOHO! HELP HELP, NOW IT'S GOT ME! AAAUUUGHHH!!!" came a scream. And soon after it came a wet blobbit. It was Mary.
"It's got Hoho and Piping!" he gasped.
"There's only one thing to do," said Arrogant. "Run!"
He turned to do likewise, but Wimpy stuck his foot out and tripped him.
"You wouldn't be deserting, would you? I wouldn't like that," hissed the daft.
"Huh?" said Arrogant looking at him strangely.
"Uh," said Wimpy, "Just something Mary said."
"Are you going to help Hoho and Piping or am I going to have to?" shrieked Mary stomping his foot.
"You can if you want," said Legless.
"Why you..." snarled the blobbit. He spluttered for a moment and ran off.
Half a moment later, Tom walked into the room with a blobbit under each arm, one slung over his shoulders and a grim look on his face.
"Do I have to do everything on this stupid trip?" he growled.
"It would appear so," coughed Hoho, removing a strand of seaweed from behind his ear.
"My octopus!" wailed Celebrate, running to investigate.
"Leave," said Gladreel, "Leave this place now!"
"Are you kidding?" laughed Piping jumping on the overturned table, "We only just got here!"
"We'll pay you to leave!" said Celebrate, coming back at that moment.
"What are you saying?" hissed Gladreel.
"Ok, then, I'll give each of you a coupon for a twelfth off a fortnights' stay in our presidential suite!"
"That sounds reasonable," said Piping slipping a little stone gnome into his pack.
"Not so reasonable to me," said Mary, slipping a little stone gnome and six silver forks out of Pipings' pack.
Wimpy looked at the little stone gnome closely.
"Why wouldn't it sound reasonable?" queried Piping, slipping a large crystal punch bowl into his pack.
"What's a president?" asked Hoho.
"It's a large dent in a presi," said Mary slipping a large crystal punch bowl out of Piping's pack.
"Well then, what's a presi?" said Tom.
"It's a small christmas present," said Mary quickly frisking Piping and removing from his person two large heavy silver candlesticks.
"It's time to sleep," said Celebrate quickly pulling some dark curtains over the windows.
"Already? Aww..." chorused the blobbits.
Late that night, after the noisy pillow fight, Hoho still wasn't asleep. He giggled thinking about the great shot he had got at Arrogant. He sat up suddenly, hearing someone noisily clumping down some stairs. He saw a figure dressed in white flowing robes. His screech was cut short when a hand was clamped firmly over his mouth.
"Come with me," a deep voice said.
Hoho went with the person, around the beds, through the door, up the stairs, through the river under the mountains, over the ocean, to Grandmothers' house, and finally to a big pool of water.
"Will you look into the mirror?" asked the person.
"Will I look into the mirror?" repeated Hoho.
"Yes, will you look into the mirror?"
"Why would I look into the mirror?" asked Hoho.
"Because I told you to," said the person, slightly agitated.
"Because you told me to?" asked Hoho.
"LOOK INTO THE MIRROR YOU MISERABLE BLOBBIT BEFORE I GET ANGRY!!!!!!" screamed the person, who Hoho now identified as Gladreel.
"Before you get angry?" asked Hoho.
" Will------you------look------in------to------the------mirror?" said Gladreel, slowly pronouncing each word, more for her benefit than Hoho's.
Hoho looked around. "What will I see?" he asked.
Gladreel smiled. "Some things that were, some things that are, and some things, that have not yet come to pass," she said.
"No," Hoho said, "I meant what does the mirror look like? Is there a pretty ring of rocks or flowers around it so people can see it easily? You know, like a party of teenage girls come over and, 'giggle giggle giggle, Oh, look there's a pretty ring of flowers around that mirror of Gladreels' giggle giggle giggle, Let's look into it!' giggle giggle giggle.' And they go over andÉ"
"WILL YOU LOOK INTO THE MIRROR?" screamed Gladreel.
"Oh," said Hoho, "That's not a mirror, that's a pool of water. Y'know, like some people have with goldfish and maybe some fake plants, and some snailsÉ"
Gladreel grabbed Hoho by his collar and dangled him over the pool of water.
"Looklooklooklooklooklooklooklooklook," she insisted.
Hoho looked in to the water. He at first saw his handsome (in his own opinion) reflection.
Then it suddenly disappeared. Hoho was about to cry out in rage when he saw the faces of each of (or so he thought) his company, with pink frosting all over their face. The last person the mirror showed was Wimpy, who was crying. Hoho noticed that Wimpy didn't have any frosting on his face.
Than it faded into times long gone. Hoho was forced to watch the rise and fall of the Roman empire. Hoho was never so bored in his life. Except maybe, at the Mire's annual Ice Cube Festival, which, of course, appeared next. Hoho saw, with horror, that it showed him break dancing in a giant ice cube costume during the Ice Cube Almost 6 Quarters Of A Century Parade.
"How did you get my uncle Dumbo's home video that he promised that he'd never show anybody but of course he did?" screamed Hoho. Gladreel only laughed and adjusted the lenses on her movie camera.
"You never know what kind of stupid, embarrassing, good stuff the mirror will show," she said.
Then Hoho saw a great, big, giant nose. Sniffing, sniffing, eternally sniffing. Hoho felt himself drawn to the nose (when it inhaled, anyway). Then all of a sudden, the nose sneezed. Hoho was thrown backwards about thirty feet. Hoho coughed and sat up. He rubbed the back of his head and looked at Gladreel.
"I know what it was you last saw," she said. "For I was looking over your shoulder."
"What does it mean?" Hoho asked.
"Mean? It could mean that Moron is looking for you and is using all his servants to track you down," said Gladreel.
Hoho gasped.
"Or," said Gladreel, "It could mean that you are going to get a cold!"
Hoho's eyes widened and a bit of drool escaped his mouth.
"Eew!" said Gladreel. "Can you possibly be more gross?"
"Sure!" said Hoho brightly, sticking his finger in his nose and making noises that a yak would have envied.
Arrogant came running up.
"I think a yak ate Hoho!" he cried.
"Dibs on the Ring!" cried Tom jumping out from behind a bush and tripping over Mary and Piping who were huddled close by.
"Double dibs!" shouted Boring, swinging on a vine and knocking over a torch onto a small tent.
"AIIEEE!" screamed Wimpy running out of the small tent and into a rock, knocking himself out.
"Hee hee!" said Legless taking gleeful notice of the whole mess.
Celebrate noticed that Legless's wheelchair was on an incline, and the Self was soon very quickly on his way towards the pool.
While on his somewhat rapid, rushing way to the pool, Legless knocked over several more torches starting a huge forest fire. Gladreel just stood there slapping her head. Hoho tried to stay and watch the fun, but he could barely keep his eyes open so he wandered back to bed to sleep, and slept deeply and dreamlessly.
The Funniship of the Ring. Book 8.
Or, In Which Piping Finds His True Calling.
Hoho woke up the next morning stiff and sore. Not from their long arduous journey from the gates of AmorŽ Land the night previous, but from the shirt of mail that his Uncle Dumbo had given him (and Arrogant sleeping on him). Hoho thought he knew why Dumbo had gotten rid of it.
Hoho whimpered until Arrogant finally whirled around to grab him. But, of course, the man couldn't see him, because the blobbit was still strapped to his back.
"WHERE IS HE?" he roared. (Arrogant had a poor memory sometimes.)
After maybe half an hour, Legless finally quit laughing enough to tell Arrogant where Hoho was.
When Hoho had told Arrogant why he was whining, Arrogant just laughed.
"We'll see why the poor little baby is whimpering!" he said, ripping off Hoho's favorite t-shirt.
Wimpy gasped. Legless covered his mouth.
"So that explains it," he murmured.
"A Worthless coat. You've been wearing this since Flivenbell?" asked Boring incredulously.
Mary, Piping, and Tom looked at him in awe.
Arrogant spoke up. "Woah, man! My advice to you, Hoho, is to chuck that coat into the nearest lake." He looked around at the company. "Since every one is up, shall we get going?"
There was much grumbling among the companions.
"You're a hard man, Arrogant," said Tom.
Arrogant smiled.
"I know," he said.
"You're a cruel man," said the blobbit.
"I know," smiled the man, examining his fingernails.
"You're a heartless man."
"Mmhmm," said Arrogant, admiring himself in the mirror he used to apply his makeup, with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"You're a merciless man."
"Aren't I though?" sighed the man, hugging himself. "Tell me more!"
"You're an ugly man," chimed in Piping.
"An obtuse man," said Mary.
"With a mind like a mousetrap," said Wimpy.
"All the leadership qualities of an angel food cake," said Legless.
"The resourcefulness of a grasshopper," said Hoho. "With a mind like a mousetrap," repeated Wimpy.
"The courage of a bowl of grape Jell-o," said Boring.
"And the figure of a string bean," finished Tom.
"Ah," sighed Arrogant, "I'm glad you see how great a king I will be, someday soon."
He danced around humming for a moment. Then he suddenly remembered where they were going.
"Off to the Loth L—ri Inn!" he cried, stomping off into the underbrush. Almost immediately, they heard a scream that was suddenly cut off. The funniship charged after Arrogant to see what was the matter. Almost immediately, seven screams sounded that were suddenly cut off. For a terrible sight met their eyes.
"Tell me not that that is..." croaked Hoho.
"It is," said Arrogant grimly. "It is the Loth L—ri Inn."
The funniship gasped in horror.
"We make for AmorŽ Land," said Boring.
Then Piping said something that made them all think going to the Inn would be the best plan.
"A bug!" he shrieked, jumping three feet into the air.
The funniship ran as fast as they could towards the building. It was not long, however, until Legless noticed something.
"Corcs!" he shouted.
And indeed, the funniship looked around to see the woods filled with moving shapes.
"They're trying to claim our reservations!" hollered Arrogant.
The funniship ran faster. The door drew nearer, and Hoho felt impending danger closing on him like a door that needed oiling. Finally, they rushed inside and slammed the door.
"Whew," said Mary, "That was too close."
The funniship looked around at the room they were in. It had a red plush carpet that went well with the pale blue wallpaper. At the far end of the room, there was a single door. A desk stood in the middle of the room. Arrogant walked confidently up to it and rang a little bell that stood there.
After several moments, a trap door suddenly appeared and two Selves rappelled out. They were both very tall, and they stared down at the company gravely.
"May we help you?" said one of them, the woman.
"Uh, yeah, Handoff the Gloomy called and made us reservations," said Arrogant, rubbing his head from the nasty crack he had gotten on the ceiling when the trap door opened.
The man consulted a small book. Then he gazed at the company gravely.
"Eight there are gathered here, but nine were set out from Flivenbell. So say the messages. Where now is Handoff, for the check he gave me bounced, and I would much desire to meet him in a dark alley somewhere." He pushed up his sleeves and glared at each of the company, as if they might be the blizzard in disguise.
He stomped up to Hoho and hoisted him up by the collar.
"Are you Handoff?" he growled.
"N-n-no!" stammered Hoho.
Now the woman, who had been gazing at each of the funniship in turn placed a hand on the shoulder of the man.
"Nay, Celebrate," she said in a deep voice, "Handoff is not here. He has fallen into shadow."
"Is this true?" demanded Celebrate.
The funniship nodded. The man and the woman looked at each other.
"YEEHAW!" they shouted, dancing around the room vigorously.
"Please put me down," said Hoho very politely.
"When did this joyous event happen?" cried Celebrate, setting the blobbit down rather carelessly.
"Yesterday evening," said Wimpy capering around.
"I saw him fall," said Arrogant, doing a little jig himself. Then he related the events that led up to the fall of Handoff.
"This is indeed a glad day!" said Celebrate. "And in return for this wonderful news, we will let you stay for half price!"
"Wait," said the woman, "Consider what you are doing!"
"You are right, Gladreel, my dear. I shall give you each a coupon for one eleventh off a month's stay."
He dealt out the slips of paper gravely as soon as Gladreel wrote them up.
"These are good for next week only," he said.
"But, we are on a long journey that may take months," said Arrogant. "We don't even intend to be in this region next week."
"Well," Celebrate shrugged, "If you don't want them..." and he proceeded to take them back.
"But I wanna keep mine," said Wimpy.
Mary bent close to the Daft's ear.
"You aren't thinking of deserting are you, Daft?" he whispered. "I told you I don't want you to do that." He looked at the Daft mournfully, yet pinching his arm as he did so.
"Ow!" said Wimpy. "No no, never mind, I don't need it!"
Arrogant looked at him strangely, then relieved Piping of a small but valuable clock that had been sitting on the desk a moment before.
"It's time for lunch," said Gladreel looking at her watch. "For you are weary and hungry with much toil. Tonight, you will eat in peace."
Then she looked straight at Hoho. He could feel her gaze pierce his daydreams.
"Welcome, Hoho Flaggins of the Mire," her voice said, though her lips did not move. "One who has seen the NOSE!!"
"AAAGGHH!" shouted Hoho jumping up and down.
"I didn't know you had such an aversion to food, Mr. Hoho," said Tom, looking at him puzzled.
"No Tom, she, oh, never mind," said Hoho. "You'd never believe me anyway."
"My, what lovely silverware," said Piping, slipping a rather large silver serving spoon into his pack.
"My, what a lovely looking lunch," said Mary, sneaking a rather large silver serving spoon out of Piping's pack and back onto the table.
They sat down to the table.
"Ok," said Gladreel, "On the count of five everyone grab as much food as they can before it's all gone. Everyone ready? One..."
"No," cried Wimpy, "I haven't even got my napkin on yet!"
"Two..."
"Give him a moment, for pity's sake!" cried Boring.
"Three..."
"Yeah," snickered Legless, "He's so slow that a snail ran him down yesterday!"
"You promised you wouldn't tell!" shouted Wimpy, standing up.
"Eat potatoes, shorty," snarled the Self, throwing a handful of the same.
The Daft stared incredulously at his soiled shirt. Then with a roar he picked up a large bowl of potato salad and heaved it with all his might at Legless. He missed by a mile and it fell plop! onto the head of Arrogant. Piping took this opportunity to slip half a dozen forks into his pack.
Arrogant lifted the bowl off of his head and Hoho could see his eyes burning. The man set the bowl down and stood up, grabbed the edge of the table and heaved it over.
"Four," croaked Gladreel.
"Do we have to wait for you to finish counting, or can we eat now?" queried Tom, wriggling out from under the table and brushing powdered sugar off of his shirt.
Gladreel and Celebrate stared at the mess and nodded wordlessly.
"Hey, powdered sugar," said Mary, "That must mean doughnuts!"
"Ooh!" squealed Boring, lifting the edge of the table and peering earnestly underneath.
"No doughnuts, but a whole lot of angelfood cake!" said Piping wiggling up.
"Goody, ow!" cried Boring, diving under the table and forgetting that he was holding it up.
"This is really disgusting," said Hoho, trying to wipe some mayonnaise off of his shirt.
"You're not kidding," said Arrogant, looking at his reflection in a highly polished plate. "Do you know what this is going to do to my hair?"
"You never looked better," chortled Legless, who alone of the funniship escaped messiness. "I think mustard is your condiment!" He giggled wildly.
"Umm," said Piping, "These pickles are simply yummy! You simply must give Tom the recipe!" Tom had been forced to do all the cooking on the trip.
"Maybe it's the nice crispy bacon wrapped around it," suggested Hoho.
"Mmmm, nice crispy bacon!" said Mary, Piping and Tom.
"Lunch is over," said Celebrate in a high quavery voice.
"Aw," said Mary, "It isn't even 1 o'clock yet!"
"We noticed," said Gladreel in an equally high quavery voice.
"What do you do for fun around here?" said Tom. "Do you have a pool anywhere?"
"A pool!" squealed the rest of the blobbits dashing away.
"No," said Celebrate.
"Hey Arrogant, bring a beachball!" shouted Piping.
"What did you find?" asked Wimpy, going to investigate. He came running back.
"That's so cool!" he cried. "I've never seen such a neat looking pool before! I wish I'd packed my rubber duckies."
"Duckies?" said Legless.
"Rub-a-dub-dub, four blobbits in a tub," came four voices.
"But we don't have a pool," said Gladreel with a worried look on her face.
"Oh dear," said Celebrate, "I hope they haven't found my man eating octopus pond!"
"ARROGANT! IT'S GOT HOHO! HELP HELP, NOW IT'S GOT ME! AAAUUUGHHH!!!" came a scream. And soon after it came a wet blobbit. It was Mary.
"It's got Hoho and Piping!" he gasped.
"There's only one thing to do," said Arrogant. "Run!"
He turned to do likewise, but Wimpy stuck his foot out and tripped him.
"You wouldn't be deserting, would you? I wouldn't like that," hissed the daft.
"Huh?" said Arrogant looking at him strangely.
"Uh," said Wimpy, "Just something Mary said."
"Are you going to help Hoho and Piping or am I going to have to?" shrieked Mary stomping his foot.
"You can if you want," said Legless.
"Why you..." snarled the blobbit. He spluttered for a moment and ran off.
Half a moment later, Tom walked into the room with a blobbit under each arm, one slung over his shoulders and a grim look on his face.
"Do I have to do everything on this stupid trip?" he growled.
"It would appear so," coughed Hoho, removing a strand of seaweed from behind his ear.
"My octopus!" wailed Celebrate, running to investigate.
"Leave," said Gladreel, "Leave this place now!"
"Are you kidding?" laughed Piping jumping on the overturned table, "We only just got here!"
"We'll pay you to leave!" said Celebrate, coming back at that moment.
"What are you saying?" hissed Gladreel.
"Ok, then, I'll give each of you a coupon for a twelfth off a fortnights' stay in our presidential suite!"
"That sounds reasonable," said Piping slipping a little stone gnome into his pack.
"Not so reasonable to me," said Mary, slipping a little stone gnome and six silver forks out of Pipings' pack.
Wimpy looked at the little stone gnome closely.
"Why wouldn't it sound reasonable?" queried Piping, slipping a large crystal punch bowl into his pack.
"What's a president?" asked Hoho.
"It's a large dent in a presi," said Mary slipping a large crystal punch bowl out of Piping's pack.
"Well then, what's a presi?" said Tom.
"It's a small christmas present," said Mary quickly frisking Piping and removing from his person two large heavy silver candlesticks.
"It's time to sleep," said Celebrate quickly pulling some dark curtains over the windows.
"Already? Aww..." chorused the blobbits.
Late that night, after the noisy pillow fight, Hoho still wasn't asleep. He giggled thinking about the great shot he had got at Arrogant. He sat up suddenly, hearing someone noisily clumping down some stairs. He saw a figure dressed in white flowing robes. His screech was cut short when a hand was clamped firmly over his mouth.
"Come with me," a deep voice said.
Hoho went with the person, around the beds, through the door, up the stairs, through the river under the mountains, over the ocean, to Grandmothers' house, and finally to a big pool of water.
"Will you look into the mirror?" asked the person.
"Will I look into the mirror?" repeated Hoho.
"Yes, will you look into the mirror?"
"Why would I look into the mirror?" asked Hoho.
"Because I told you to," said the person, slightly agitated.
"Because you told me to?" asked Hoho.
"LOOK INTO THE MIRROR YOU MISERABLE BLOBBIT BEFORE I GET ANGRY!!!!!!" screamed the person, who Hoho now identified as Gladreel.
"Before you get angry?" asked Hoho.
" Will------you------look------in------to------the------mirror?" said Gladreel, slowly pronouncing each word, more for her benefit than Hoho's.
Hoho looked around. "What will I see?" he asked.
Gladreel smiled. "Some things that were, some things that are, and some things, that have not yet come to pass," she said.
"No," Hoho said, "I meant what does the mirror look like? Is there a pretty ring of rocks or flowers around it so people can see it easily? You know, like a party of teenage girls come over and, 'giggle giggle giggle, Oh, look there's a pretty ring of flowers around that mirror of Gladreels' giggle giggle giggle, Let's look into it!' giggle giggle giggle.' And they go over andÉ"
"WILL YOU LOOK INTO THE MIRROR?" screamed Gladreel.
"Oh," said Hoho, "That's not a mirror, that's a pool of water. Y'know, like some people have with goldfish and maybe some fake plants, and some snailsÉ"
Gladreel grabbed Hoho by his collar and dangled him over the pool of water.
"Looklooklooklooklooklooklooklooklook," she insisted.
Hoho looked in to the water. He at first saw his handsome (in his own opinion) reflection.
Then it suddenly disappeared. Hoho was about to cry out in rage when he saw the faces of each of (or so he thought) his company, with pink frosting all over their face. The last person the mirror showed was Wimpy, who was crying. Hoho noticed that Wimpy didn't have any frosting on his face.
Than it faded into times long gone. Hoho was forced to watch the rise and fall of the Roman empire. Hoho was never so bored in his life. Except maybe, at the Mire's annual Ice Cube Festival, which, of course, appeared next. Hoho saw, with horror, that it showed him break dancing in a giant ice cube costume during the Ice Cube Almost 6 Quarters Of A Century Parade.
"How did you get my uncle Dumbo's home video that he promised that he'd never show anybody but of course he did?" screamed Hoho. Gladreel only laughed and adjusted the lenses on her movie camera.
"You never know what kind of stupid, embarrassing, good stuff the mirror will show," she said.
Then Hoho saw a great, big, giant nose. Sniffing, sniffing, eternally sniffing. Hoho felt himself drawn to the nose (when it inhaled, anyway). Then all of a sudden, the nose sneezed. Hoho was thrown backwards about thirty feet. Hoho coughed and sat up. He rubbed the back of his head and looked at Gladreel.
"I know what it was you last saw," she said. "For I was looking over your shoulder."
"What does it mean?" Hoho asked.
"Mean? It could mean that Moron is looking for you and is using all his servants to track you down," said Gladreel.
Hoho gasped.
"Or," said Gladreel, "It could mean that you are going to get a cold!"
Hoho's eyes widened and a bit of drool escaped his mouth.
"Eew!" said Gladreel. "Can you possibly be more gross?"
"Sure!" said Hoho brightly, sticking his finger in his nose and making noises that a yak would have envied.
Arrogant came running up.
"I think a yak ate Hoho!" he cried.
"Dibs on the Ring!" cried Tom jumping out from behind a bush and tripping over Mary and Piping who were huddled close by.
"Double dibs!" shouted Boring, swinging on a vine and knocking over a torch onto a small tent.
"AIIEEE!" screamed Wimpy running out of the small tent and into a rock, knocking himself out.
"Hee hee!" said Legless taking gleeful notice of the whole mess.
Celebrate noticed that Legless's wheelchair was on an incline, and the Self was soon very quickly on his way towards the pool.
While on his somewhat rapid, rushing way to the pool, Legless knocked over several more torches starting a huge forest fire. Gladreel just stood there slapping her head. Hoho tried to stay and watch the fun, but he could barely keep his eyes open so he wandered back to bed to sleep, and slept deeply and dreamlessly.