A/N: much of what I have to say was said at the end of the last chapter,
but I'd just like to further say thank you all for reading, and thank you
to the dragonflies again for their unwavering support and the little spark
of happiness they bring me. Thank you all.
~~~~ Epilogue ~~~~
~* Duo *~
I saw her a few times after that. Mainly when she was allowed out of the hospital to go on day trips and things. She never came back to school.
She told them not to let me visit her anymore. They didn't say that of course, they called it 'doctors orders' but I could see the look Doris gave me when I came every week and asked if the doctors orders had changed. The never did.
The only time I spoke to her after that was by accident. I went to go see a movie with Trowa and Wufei and I was waiting in line at the refreshments kiosk when I walked forward as she turned around and walked backwards. I knocked her over without realising who she was. As I grabbed her arm to keep her from falling on the floor I felt how thin it was and knew instantly. She didn't look up at me until she heard me apologise for spilling her drink. Then, she looked up and gave me a look so cold it hurt me. Hilde had rushed over and was helping Angela dry her wet clothes.
"I . I'm really sorry." Hilde just gave me a look of disbelief and rolled her eyes.
Angela bent down and started stuffing things back into her bag. "No Duo. You're not sorry. You never have been and never will be." She stood up and I felt so sick and sad seeing her bones jutting out further than they ever had before. She walked away without another word, and though I saw and noticed her a few times after that, we never spoke again, and she always ignored me when we saw each other.
About six months after we broke up, and two months after I saw her at the cinema, I got a phone call from Doris at the hospital informing me that Angela had just passed away, and that her funeral would be in four days. In one of Angela's last letters to a friend she had specifically requested that I be there. In her words 'I want him to see me one last time. I want him to see me ripple.' Her and I are the only ones who knew what that meant, and in some ways it lightened and darkened my heart that she wanted me there.
When the time came, I stood by my friends and hers; not hearing the words of the poem Hilde was reading out, I didn't need to hear it. I knew the words by heart. "If" by Rudyard Kipling had been her favourite poem of all time, and many times she had stated that she wanted it read out at her funeral. I wanted to throw myself at that tiny black box, I wanted to scream and cry and kick and moan and die. But I sensed that not only would it be grossly inappropriate, but it also wasn't the sort of thing people did in real life. Maybe in the movies it was common practise, but in the real world people didn't do it. So I stood by her small coffin and watched as the lowered it, watched a many people threw flowers on top, watched as many people filed past, throwing soil over them. She hadn't known truly how many people she touched with her beauty and kindness. She didn't know how many people had been cheered up by her good humour and easy, quick jokes. But I don't think even if she had known that she would have cared. When she died she had weighed 69 lbs., and she had needed an oxygen machine to keep her skeleton of a body alive. According to Doris, she continued to smile and joke to the very end.
So I just filed past with the rest of them, throwing my flowers on top of her final resting-place, scattering soil over my flowers, watching as they buried her.
Angela.
~~~~ Epilogue ~~~~
~* Duo *~
I saw her a few times after that. Mainly when she was allowed out of the hospital to go on day trips and things. She never came back to school.
She told them not to let me visit her anymore. They didn't say that of course, they called it 'doctors orders' but I could see the look Doris gave me when I came every week and asked if the doctors orders had changed. The never did.
The only time I spoke to her after that was by accident. I went to go see a movie with Trowa and Wufei and I was waiting in line at the refreshments kiosk when I walked forward as she turned around and walked backwards. I knocked her over without realising who she was. As I grabbed her arm to keep her from falling on the floor I felt how thin it was and knew instantly. She didn't look up at me until she heard me apologise for spilling her drink. Then, she looked up and gave me a look so cold it hurt me. Hilde had rushed over and was helping Angela dry her wet clothes.
"I . I'm really sorry." Hilde just gave me a look of disbelief and rolled her eyes.
Angela bent down and started stuffing things back into her bag. "No Duo. You're not sorry. You never have been and never will be." She stood up and I felt so sick and sad seeing her bones jutting out further than they ever had before. She walked away without another word, and though I saw and noticed her a few times after that, we never spoke again, and she always ignored me when we saw each other.
About six months after we broke up, and two months after I saw her at the cinema, I got a phone call from Doris at the hospital informing me that Angela had just passed away, and that her funeral would be in four days. In one of Angela's last letters to a friend she had specifically requested that I be there. In her words 'I want him to see me one last time. I want him to see me ripple.' Her and I are the only ones who knew what that meant, and in some ways it lightened and darkened my heart that she wanted me there.
When the time came, I stood by my friends and hers; not hearing the words of the poem Hilde was reading out, I didn't need to hear it. I knew the words by heart. "If" by Rudyard Kipling had been her favourite poem of all time, and many times she had stated that she wanted it read out at her funeral. I wanted to throw myself at that tiny black box, I wanted to scream and cry and kick and moan and die. But I sensed that not only would it be grossly inappropriate, but it also wasn't the sort of thing people did in real life. Maybe in the movies it was common practise, but in the real world people didn't do it. So I stood by her small coffin and watched as the lowered it, watched a many people threw flowers on top, watched as many people filed past, throwing soil over them. She hadn't known truly how many people she touched with her beauty and kindness. She didn't know how many people had been cheered up by her good humour and easy, quick jokes. But I don't think even if she had known that she would have cared. When she died she had weighed 69 lbs., and she had needed an oxygen machine to keep her skeleton of a body alive. According to Doris, she continued to smile and joke to the very end.
So I just filed past with the rest of them, throwing my flowers on top of her final resting-place, scattering soil over my flowers, watching as they buried her.
Angela.