You Know This is a Bad Idea Right?
Happy New Years folks!
DD: It's just the 30th!
*Checks clock* Not anymore, it's 1:00 AM! Gasp, it's just 1:00! I may finally get to sleeeeeeeeeeeep!
Cell: *Watching Twilight Zone marathon* Uh-huh.
Oooh, Rod Serling!
DD: *Watches too* I've seen this one.
Cell: Shouldn't you guys be doing some stuff?
Like?
Cell: The fic for one.
Oh yeah, I forgot. Okay, this is the finale of my second trilogy, entitled the New Years trilogy...yeah. And for those of you who have been waiting, Hiei finally goes to Nashville where chaos ensues. And Kurama fades into the background once again as usual.
DD: *Whistles*
Kurama: Yes?
Go hug our reviewers why don't you?
Kurama: Uh, okay. *Go hugs reviewers*
There. He cooperates more than Hiei. *Watches Twilight Zone marathon*
DD: *Watches it too*
Kurama: ...Guys?
Muses and Author: Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do...
Kurama: ...Begin Transmission *Gives in and watches marathon*
_______________________________________________________________
Hiei Goes to Nashville (New Years Edition) pt.3
(Scene: Klamath Falls Airport)
Kurama: *Purchasing tickets* I knew this Personal International Money Converter would come in handy!
Hiei: ...Mustn't...kill...fox...
Kurama: Okay, I've got our stuff let's go wait for the plane. *Sits in vast lobby*
Hiei: Well, this has been most terrible.
Kurama: Wanna sing to pass time?
Hiei: ...What have we not done?!
Kurama: Hmmm...ah-ha.
(1 hours later)
Kurama: *Singing* There ain't gonna be no more beggin you please[1]—
Hiei: *Singing* You know what I want and it ain't one of these—
Kurama: You're bad to the bone—
Hiei: And you girlfriend agreed—
Kurama: That falling in love is so hard on the knees—
Intercom: 1:00 flight to New York, 1:00 flight to New York...
Kurama: Well, that's us! Finally, things seem to be going our way!
Hiei: Your way you mean.
Kurama: ...You bitter goat. Let's just go, we'll still make it in time to book a hotel room. *Walks off*
(On the airplane)
Kurama: This is going to be so cool! Hey, lets sing again! ...Hiei? *Looks around* ...Oh shit. How did I loose him?! Nature is NOT on my side.
Pilot: Welcome aboard flight 667 this is your captain speaking. We are now taking off—
Kurama: STOP THE PLANE!
Pilot: Ma'am we are now 3,000 feet in the air I can't just STOP the plane.
Kurama: Man this plane moves fast. AND I AM A F**KING MAN!!
(On the next plane over)
Hiei: I wonder what New York is like? Hmmm...something's not right here...Kurama is being quiet...*looks around him* ...Oh no, that moron must've boarded the wrong plane! ...Ah well, he'll catch up.
Lady next to him: *Country accent* I can't believe I'm goin ta Nashville! Country music capital of da world!
Hiei: Wait, where's this thing going?
LNTH: Nashville of course!
Hiei: What?! ...What are the odds that I was wrong? Damn, I wonder if I can survive a 300,000 foot drop?[2] *looks out window* ...Why risk it?
(5:00 PM in New York)
Kurama: *Walking through city* Damn, damn, damn, damn! Curse that illiterate little munchkin! ...*Chibi-fies* But he's MY munchkin! WAAAAAAAAH! I lost my munchkin AGAIN!
(4:00 PM Nashville[3])
Hiei: Whoa, what a small city! *Spots car* Hmmmm...*shrugs and hijacks car* Well, I can either spend New Years here or I can find muh fox. *Swerves off*
Lady who owned car: HEY! I STOLE THAT FIRST!!
Hiei: *Holds up middle finger* Piss off biatch!
(45 minutes later)
Hiei: Where the hell am I? *Stops at traffic light and sees homeless person* Hey you, do you know where I am?!
Homeless guy: You're on Whitebridge Road!
Hiei: Hmm...he could be useful... *to HG* Hey, hop on in! I need directions!
HG: Wow, awesome! *Gets in car*
Hiei: *Drives* Just so you know, I know 17 ways to kill you with a blade of grass so don't try anything stupid.
HG: *Puts gun away* Yes sir.
(New York)
Kurama: Damn it, now where could he have gone too?! Okay Kurama, just retrace your steps...okay, we were at the airport...singing...grabbed hold of...THAT'S IIIT! But now to find out where he went to...*snaps fingers* Ah-ha again.
(Downtown Nashville)
Hiei: Where are we now?
HG: Eh, downtown. Wanna stop and get sumthin ta eat? Yer runnin outta gas too.
Hiei: I suppose. Oooh, McDonalds! *Pulls up in parking lot*
(30 minutes later)
Hiei: *He and homeless guy come running out of McDonalds* RUN FOOL!
HG: I AM! *Jumps in car and presses pedal*
Hiei: *Jumps on hood of car. Car doughnut swirls out of parking lot*
(20 minutes later)
Hiei: Well that was fun. Give me a burger.
HG: *Hands him a burger* So where to?
Hiei: *Swallows burger whole* I dunno. Hey, you wouldn't happen to know Ozzy Osbourne would you?
HG: Do I?!
(New York)
Yokou Kurama: *In Madison Square in a kilt with a sword leading an army of demons* DEMONS OF THE MAKAI, LEND ME YOUR EARS! WE MUST FIND HIEI THE FIRE DEMON BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT! THOSE WHO OPPOSE I WILL PERSONALLY KICK YOUR ASS! ARE YOU WITH ME?!
Demons: YAY!
Y. Kurama: I luuuuv doing this even though there's NO reason! *to demons* LEAVE ALL THAT CAN BE SPARED! WE TRAVEL LIGHT! MWA HAHAHAHAHA!
(9:00 Nashville)
Hiei: *At Crack house* Hey, this was a good idea! Plus I'm surrounded by whores!
HG: *Smokes blunt* Yup. I've got the munchies.
Hiei: *Downs bottle of Milwaukee Best. Passes HG burger* Good thing we stole 45 burgers from McDonalds. Well, turn on the 36 inch, I wanna see the parade!
Random Crack-head: *Turns on TV* I wish I saw the Gay Pride parade.
Hiei: Me too. *Downs bottle of Bud* Screw Sake, beer is gooooooooooooooood. Ooh, baton twirlers!
HG: Those skirts get shorter every year.
RCH: I think I just saw her vagina.
Hiei: That's a girl?
(Y. Kurama & the AoD)
Y. Kurama: *Riding the back of a demon* If I must find my munchkin I'm doin' it in style! ONWARD! ONWARD I SAY!!
(10:30 Nashville)
Hiei: *On the porch* I am sooo drunk. *Downs the last of a six pack*
RCH: *With portable TV* Only 1 hour till New Years.
Guy next door: *Arguing with his wife*
Wife: *Draws gun*
HG: Hey, shouldn't we call the police?!
Hiei: Shut up, I can't hear what they're saying!
Wife: I NEVER LOVED YOU!
Guy: YOU BITCH! Why didn't you tell me you were a man?!
Wife: Why didn't you tell ME you killed Ginger Spice?!
Guy: ...*Shoots his wife*
Wife: *Dying. Shoots guy. They both die*
Hiei: ...Damn. Now we call the police. *Downs six pack in 12 seconds*
(11 Downtown Nashville)
Y. Kurama: *Leading army of demons* WAH HAHAHAHAHA! THE SPANISH INQUISITION[4] HAS ARRIIIIIIIVED!! Search every corner boys! Leave no pebble unturned!!
(11:30 PM Crack house)
Hiei: *Singing* May all acquaintance—
HG: *Singing* Be forgot—
RCH: *Singing* And never brought to mind!
All: *Hum the rest*
Hiei: Man, this has been fun! *Downs whiskey* I love you guys!
HG: Nice gettin buzzed with ya H-dog.
(6 minutes later Y. Kurama and army of demons comes busting through)
Hiei: *Chokes on 3rd bottle of whiskey* Kurama?!
Y. Kurama: HIEI! I have come to save you!
Hiei: From WHAT?!
Y. Kurama: ...You mean you weren't kidnapped?!
Hiei: No you idiot!
Y. Kurama: ...Damn it.
Hiei: You did all this just to save me?
Y. Kurama: ...Yes...
Hiei: ...AWWWWWW! How sweet! You MORON. Just get your ass up here and help me down this liquor.
Normal Kurama: Uh oookaay. Hey demons! You are dismissed!
Demons: *Go back to the Makai*
Hiei: Hey, let's sing a song!
HG: Why?
Hiei: Because I'm bored and waiting for the damn ball to come down. Anyone know Aerosmith?
RCH: Let's do Alice in Chains!
Hiei: Fine.
(11:59 PM)
Kurama: *Downs bottle of whiskey* 10...
Hiei: *Downs Bud* 9...
RCH: *Smokes blunt* 8...
HG: *Drinks vodka* 7...
Kurama: *Picks up bottle of vodka* 6...
Hiei: *Picks up Bud* 5...
RCH: *Picks up whiskey* 4...
HG: *Picks up Milwaukee Best* 3...
All: 2...1...Happy New Year. Cheers. *Toast*
Kurama: Well, it's been nice getting drunk and high with you guys. Happy New Year Hiei.
Hiei: Happy New Year moron *hugs Kurama*
Kurama: Awww, my munchkin hugged me even though he's too drunk to realize it. *Hugs him back*
RCH: Awwww, how cute! They make a lovely couple.
HG: But the red head's a guy!
RCH: Seriously? Damn, I was gonna screw 'im.
(The next day at Kurama's)
Hiei: *Wakes up on floor with MASSIVE hang-over* Aw shit, was it all a dream?
Kurama: *From his room with equally massive hang-over* Nooo...
Hiei: Well, we welcomed the New Year drunken and high as heaven. How do ya feel?
Kurama: Horrible. I can't feel my legs.
Hiei: Me neither. Let's do that again next time. And Kurama?
Kurama: Yeah?
Hiei: The next time I get lost or something, DON'T come after me in a kilt with a massive army of demons trying to "save" me.
Kurama: *Groans*
_______________________________________________________________
[1] "Fallin In Love (Is Hard on the Knees)" by Aerosmith
[2] Hey, this may just be me, but I don't think any mortal can survive a 300,000 foot drop! Even if Hiei could, he would more that likely be severely injured
[3] Let's pretend there's an hour difference between New York and Nashville even though I think it's like 2...
[4] From Monty Python
And if I skipped anything or if you have any questions, drop me a line.
DD: Next: Hiei VS El Nino
Cell: Review. *Goes back to Twilight Zone Marathon*
Happy New Years folks!
DD: It's just the 30th!
*Checks clock* Not anymore, it's 1:00 AM! Gasp, it's just 1:00! I may finally get to sleeeeeeeeeeeep!
Cell: *Watching Twilight Zone marathon* Uh-huh.
Oooh, Rod Serling!
DD: *Watches too* I've seen this one.
Cell: Shouldn't you guys be doing some stuff?
Like?
Cell: The fic for one.
Oh yeah, I forgot. Okay, this is the finale of my second trilogy, entitled the New Years trilogy...yeah. And for those of you who have been waiting, Hiei finally goes to Nashville where chaos ensues. And Kurama fades into the background once again as usual.
DD: *Whistles*
Kurama: Yes?
Go hug our reviewers why don't you?
Kurama: Uh, okay. *Go hugs reviewers*
There. He cooperates more than Hiei. *Watches Twilight Zone marathon*
DD: *Watches it too*
Kurama: ...Guys?
Muses and Author: Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do...
Kurama: ...Begin Transmission *Gives in and watches marathon*
_______________________________________________________________
Hiei Goes to Nashville (New Years Edition) pt.3
(Scene: Klamath Falls Airport)
Kurama: *Purchasing tickets* I knew this Personal International Money Converter would come in handy!
Hiei: ...Mustn't...kill...fox...
Kurama: Okay, I've got our stuff let's go wait for the plane. *Sits in vast lobby*
Hiei: Well, this has been most terrible.
Kurama: Wanna sing to pass time?
Hiei: ...What have we not done?!
Kurama: Hmmm...ah-ha.
(1 hours later)
Kurama: *Singing* There ain't gonna be no more beggin you please[1]—
Hiei: *Singing* You know what I want and it ain't one of these—
Kurama: You're bad to the bone—
Hiei: And you girlfriend agreed—
Kurama: That falling in love is so hard on the knees—
Intercom: 1:00 flight to New York, 1:00 flight to New York...
Kurama: Well, that's us! Finally, things seem to be going our way!
Hiei: Your way you mean.
Kurama: ...You bitter goat. Let's just go, we'll still make it in time to book a hotel room. *Walks off*
(On the airplane)
Kurama: This is going to be so cool! Hey, lets sing again! ...Hiei? *Looks around* ...Oh shit. How did I loose him?! Nature is NOT on my side.
Pilot: Welcome aboard flight 667 this is your captain speaking. We are now taking off—
Kurama: STOP THE PLANE!
Pilot: Ma'am we are now 3,000 feet in the air I can't just STOP the plane.
Kurama: Man this plane moves fast. AND I AM A F**KING MAN!!
(On the next plane over)
Hiei: I wonder what New York is like? Hmmm...something's not right here...Kurama is being quiet...*looks around him* ...Oh no, that moron must've boarded the wrong plane! ...Ah well, he'll catch up.
Lady next to him: *Country accent* I can't believe I'm goin ta Nashville! Country music capital of da world!
Hiei: Wait, where's this thing going?
LNTH: Nashville of course!
Hiei: What?! ...What are the odds that I was wrong? Damn, I wonder if I can survive a 300,000 foot drop?[2] *looks out window* ...Why risk it?
(5:00 PM in New York)
Kurama: *Walking through city* Damn, damn, damn, damn! Curse that illiterate little munchkin! ...*Chibi-fies* But he's MY munchkin! WAAAAAAAAH! I lost my munchkin AGAIN!
(4:00 PM Nashville[3])
Hiei: Whoa, what a small city! *Spots car* Hmmmm...*shrugs and hijacks car* Well, I can either spend New Years here or I can find muh fox. *Swerves off*
Lady who owned car: HEY! I STOLE THAT FIRST!!
Hiei: *Holds up middle finger* Piss off biatch!
(45 minutes later)
Hiei: Where the hell am I? *Stops at traffic light and sees homeless person* Hey you, do you know where I am?!
Homeless guy: You're on Whitebridge Road!
Hiei: Hmm...he could be useful... *to HG* Hey, hop on in! I need directions!
HG: Wow, awesome! *Gets in car*
Hiei: *Drives* Just so you know, I know 17 ways to kill you with a blade of grass so don't try anything stupid.
HG: *Puts gun away* Yes sir.
(New York)
Kurama: Damn it, now where could he have gone too?! Okay Kurama, just retrace your steps...okay, we were at the airport...singing...grabbed hold of...THAT'S IIIT! But now to find out where he went to...*snaps fingers* Ah-ha again.
(Downtown Nashville)
Hiei: Where are we now?
HG: Eh, downtown. Wanna stop and get sumthin ta eat? Yer runnin outta gas too.
Hiei: I suppose. Oooh, McDonalds! *Pulls up in parking lot*
(30 minutes later)
Hiei: *He and homeless guy come running out of McDonalds* RUN FOOL!
HG: I AM! *Jumps in car and presses pedal*
Hiei: *Jumps on hood of car. Car doughnut swirls out of parking lot*
(20 minutes later)
Hiei: Well that was fun. Give me a burger.
HG: *Hands him a burger* So where to?
Hiei: *Swallows burger whole* I dunno. Hey, you wouldn't happen to know Ozzy Osbourne would you?
HG: Do I?!
(New York)
Yokou Kurama: *In Madison Square in a kilt with a sword leading an army of demons* DEMONS OF THE MAKAI, LEND ME YOUR EARS! WE MUST FIND HIEI THE FIRE DEMON BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT! THOSE WHO OPPOSE I WILL PERSONALLY KICK YOUR ASS! ARE YOU WITH ME?!
Demons: YAY!
Y. Kurama: I luuuuv doing this even though there's NO reason! *to demons* LEAVE ALL THAT CAN BE SPARED! WE TRAVEL LIGHT! MWA HAHAHAHAHA!
(9:00 Nashville)
Hiei: *At Crack house* Hey, this was a good idea! Plus I'm surrounded by whores!
HG: *Smokes blunt* Yup. I've got the munchies.
Hiei: *Downs bottle of Milwaukee Best. Passes HG burger* Good thing we stole 45 burgers from McDonalds. Well, turn on the 36 inch, I wanna see the parade!
Random Crack-head: *Turns on TV* I wish I saw the Gay Pride parade.
Hiei: Me too. *Downs bottle of Bud* Screw Sake, beer is gooooooooooooooood. Ooh, baton twirlers!
HG: Those skirts get shorter every year.
RCH: I think I just saw her vagina.
Hiei: That's a girl?
(Y. Kurama & the AoD)
Y. Kurama: *Riding the back of a demon* If I must find my munchkin I'm doin' it in style! ONWARD! ONWARD I SAY!!
(10:30 Nashville)
Hiei: *On the porch* I am sooo drunk. *Downs the last of a six pack*
RCH: *With portable TV* Only 1 hour till New Years.
Guy next door: *Arguing with his wife*
Wife: *Draws gun*
HG: Hey, shouldn't we call the police?!
Hiei: Shut up, I can't hear what they're saying!
Wife: I NEVER LOVED YOU!
Guy: YOU BITCH! Why didn't you tell me you were a man?!
Wife: Why didn't you tell ME you killed Ginger Spice?!
Guy: ...*Shoots his wife*
Wife: *Dying. Shoots guy. They both die*
Hiei: ...Damn. Now we call the police. *Downs six pack in 12 seconds*
(11 Downtown Nashville)
Y. Kurama: *Leading army of demons* WAH HAHAHAHAHA! THE SPANISH INQUISITION[4] HAS ARRIIIIIIIVED!! Search every corner boys! Leave no pebble unturned!!
(11:30 PM Crack house)
Hiei: *Singing* May all acquaintance—
HG: *Singing* Be forgot—
RCH: *Singing* And never brought to mind!
All: *Hum the rest*
Hiei: Man, this has been fun! *Downs whiskey* I love you guys!
HG: Nice gettin buzzed with ya H-dog.
(6 minutes later Y. Kurama and army of demons comes busting through)
Hiei: *Chokes on 3rd bottle of whiskey* Kurama?!
Y. Kurama: HIEI! I have come to save you!
Hiei: From WHAT?!
Y. Kurama: ...You mean you weren't kidnapped?!
Hiei: No you idiot!
Y. Kurama: ...Damn it.
Hiei: You did all this just to save me?
Y. Kurama: ...Yes...
Hiei: ...AWWWWWW! How sweet! You MORON. Just get your ass up here and help me down this liquor.
Normal Kurama: Uh oookaay. Hey demons! You are dismissed!
Demons: *Go back to the Makai*
Hiei: Hey, let's sing a song!
HG: Why?
Hiei: Because I'm bored and waiting for the damn ball to come down. Anyone know Aerosmith?
RCH: Let's do Alice in Chains!
Hiei: Fine.
(11:59 PM)
Kurama: *Downs bottle of whiskey* 10...
Hiei: *Downs Bud* 9...
RCH: *Smokes blunt* 8...
HG: *Drinks vodka* 7...
Kurama: *Picks up bottle of vodka* 6...
Hiei: *Picks up Bud* 5...
RCH: *Picks up whiskey* 4...
HG: *Picks up Milwaukee Best* 3...
All: 2...1...Happy New Year. Cheers. *Toast*
Kurama: Well, it's been nice getting drunk and high with you guys. Happy New Year Hiei.
Hiei: Happy New Year moron *hugs Kurama*
Kurama: Awww, my munchkin hugged me even though he's too drunk to realize it. *Hugs him back*
RCH: Awwww, how cute! They make a lovely couple.
HG: But the red head's a guy!
RCH: Seriously? Damn, I was gonna screw 'im.
(The next day at Kurama's)
Hiei: *Wakes up on floor with MASSIVE hang-over* Aw shit, was it all a dream?
Kurama: *From his room with equally massive hang-over* Nooo...
Hiei: Well, we welcomed the New Year drunken and high as heaven. How do ya feel?
Kurama: Horrible. I can't feel my legs.
Hiei: Me neither. Let's do that again next time. And Kurama?
Kurama: Yeah?
Hiei: The next time I get lost or something, DON'T come after me in a kilt with a massive army of demons trying to "save" me.
Kurama: *Groans*
_______________________________________________________________
[1] "Fallin In Love (Is Hard on the Knees)" by Aerosmith
[2] Hey, this may just be me, but I don't think any mortal can survive a 300,000 foot drop! Even if Hiei could, he would more that likely be severely injured
[3] Let's pretend there's an hour difference between New York and Nashville even though I think it's like 2...
[4] From Monty Python
And if I skipped anything or if you have any questions, drop me a line.
DD: Next: Hiei VS El Nino
Cell: Review. *Goes back to Twilight Zone Marathon*