You Know This Is A Bad Idea Right?
Hello! After many a period of brewing for my next..."plan of action" I have returned! Huzzah!
Cell: Excellent, I have a job now.
DD: I can pay rent! *Pays land-lady*
...See how charitable and virtuous I am?
Cell: No I sure don't.
Oh before we get to the good stuff, I forgot to thank AoiHyou for pointing out the "Youkai-Youki" thing. I forgot twice to thank her...them. And thanks to all my reviewers...or the ones I haven't frightened off. But sadly, Kurama and Hiei are unable to give out hugs because they are currently "fighting" which we'll get to in just a moment. First I want to explain something: remember what I said about me not doing anymore trilogies? Well, I lied...I think. Who knows how far this will go but it's three parts minimum I suppose. Oh, and here's the part where it becomes a cross over!
Cell: A Dragonball Z/Yu-Yu Hakusho crossover!
So if you haven't seen that or you don't like it either a) go look it up or b) skedaddle children.
DD: Has anyone noticed we up-ed our rating? It's now officially R! Hahahahaha!
One more thing: If you are like me and know little or nothing about "Braveheart" don't worry about being in the dark or anything...you just won't know we're parodying it! We do not own Braveheart, DBZ, YYH or anything else unless noted so if you sue, all yer getting is my muses and my book "The Green Mile" by Stephen King and a pair of stolen sneakers.
DD: Begin transmission
_______________________________________________________________
Lord of the Braveheart Parodies
(1 day after the "house incident")
Hiei: *Hiding in El Nino's room* Do you think he's still mad?
El Nino: *Hears crash in the kitchen followed by un-earthly roar* Yes.
Hiei: We can't keep hiding like this! Sooner or later he'll come in here and kill us both!
El Nino: He should be grateful! We rebuilt his house back from scratch! Hell, it's actually BIGGER now!
Hiei: Keep your voice down! *Footsteps behind door* Aw SHIT!
Kurama: *Non-Human voice* HIEI, ARE YOU IN THERE?!
Hiei & El Nino: *Restrain from having heart-attacks at the sound of his voice*
Hiei: I'm actually scared.
Kurama: *Moves else where*
El Nino: Thank Zeus he's gone!
Hiei: I can't take it any more!
El Nino: What do you suggest we do, pull another Braveheart stunt?! He'd find a bigger and better army of demons and crush us THEN shove our balls down our throats!
Hiei: But we'll have the element of surprise! Plus, I already have a plan.
El Nino: Care to let me in?
Hiei: If we survive tonight, I'll explain it to you in the morning. The demon has to sleep sometime.
El Nino: Whatever you say. Yer the boss.
(6:00 in the A of M)
Hiei: *Trembling* A-are you okay?
El Nino: My right arm is tingling...
Hiei: Don't you dare die on me!
El Nino: I'm immortal you idiot![1]
Hiei: Really? You could be useful...he came TOO close to finding us!
El Nino: It's times like these I'm glad he's a moron.
Hiei: While I take great offense to that, I am forced to agree.
El Nino: Indeed. So what's this great plan oh fearless leader?
Hiei: Simple. We crawl out that door, go to the living room and if we're both still alive, I'll place o few phone calls and we'll go outside and wait. And pray.
El Nino: Are you in-SANE?! Dude, phone calls is what got us here in the first place!
Hiei: Actually YOU got us here. I'm going to get us out. Now keep your voice down and wait for my signal.
Kurama: *Outside door. Still using that non-human voice* I KNOW YOUR IN THIS HOUSE!! I WILL FIND...man I'm sleepy...bah, I'll resume this later. YOR OFF THE HOOK FOR NOW BUT WHEN I FIND YOU YOU'LL BE EATING YOU MANHOODS FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER! ARRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHH! *Goes to his room and slams door*
El Nino: By the gods...
Hiei: Okay, follow me. *Gets up and goes to door. Goes out door*
El Nino: ...*Follows*
Hiei: *In living room* Now you wait here while I make a few phone calls. Should the demon appear run. Then run faster. Then if at all possible break the sound barrier.
El Nino: Can do Capitan! *Salutes*
Hiei: *Shakes head and picks up cordless*
El Nino: Who are you calling, exactly?
Hiei: You'll see. *Dials number* ......Ohayo Goku-san.......yes I know it's 6 in the morning but I and my aficionado are in a bit of a bind......well.....would you? You will? ......Okay......thanks a lot...good bye. *Hangs up*
El Nino: You know GOKU?! THE Son Goku?!
Hiei: Doesn't everybody?
El Nino: ....
Hiei: *Dials another number* ......What's up Trunks?
(30 minutes and 6 phone calls later)
Hiei: ....Thanks Goten...uh-huh......right...gotcha.....Dude, I need to hurry or else I may be killed....okay, thanks....ja ne. *Hangs up*
El Nino: I can't believe you know them! *Looks up stairs. Sees flash of red* *Whispers loudly* Shit, it's him! The beast has awakened! We're screwed!
Hiei: Keep calm, he can smell fear!
El Nino: When are they gonna be here?!
Hiei: Er, like an hour or so.
El Nino: Do we have that long?!
Kurama: *From upstairs* HIEI, IS THAT YOU?!
Hiei: No. *Walks really fast outside*
El Nino: *Follows him*
(Outside. Hiei and Nino have walked half a mile away from the house. Is now 6:50 AM)
Hiei: *Stops at lamp post* Now we wait.
El Nino: Do you think Kurama realizes we're gone?! *Hears the sound of crashing cars and non-human roars* I'll take that as a yes.
Hiei: He's here! RUN! *Nearly breaks sound barrier*
El Nino: *Runs at the speed of light*
Kurama: *2 miles behind them* YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE MEEEE!
Hiei: *Bumps into someone* YOU MO—Hallelujah!
Goku: Er, who's that guy behind you?
El Nino: I am El Nino, the beast gaining on us is Kurama.
Goku: Riiiight.
Hiei: Run!
Goku: Okiedokie. *Run behind Nino and Hiei*
(2 hours later)
Hiei: *Stops at the foot of a mountain* I *pant* think *pant, pant* we lost *huff, pant* him.
Goku: *Looks behind him* Where the hell are we for starters?
El Nino: *Looks up* Cool, it's Mt. Fuji!
Hiei: Mt....damn how far DID we run?!
Goku: Faaaaaaaaar. While we wait, who is this El Nino guy?
Hiei: Ever hear of the weather condition El Nino?
Goku: ...THAT'S El Nino?! THE El Nino?!
El Nino: You may call me Nino, El, Eru-chan, El Nino, or just Master.
Goku: ...But you look like a cross between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock[2]!
El Nino: ...I know.
Vegeta: *Drops out of sky*
Hiei: What took you so long?
Vegeta: Well you were running like the fires of hell were upon you by the time I did arrive so I had to follow you and that red-headed...thing that was chasing you. What was that anyway?
Hiei: It was a human...sort of.
Vegeta: *Points* Who's this guy?
El Nino: I am the evil tropical force known as El Nino. And yes, I'm THAT El Nino and I am quite aware of what I look like.
Vegeta: El Nino? Never heard of it.
El Nino: WHAAAT?!
Trunks: *Floats down* Hello! Hi tousan.
Vegeta: Hn.
Hiei: Where's Gohan and Goten?
Trunks: They'll be around in a bit. Who's—
Goku: That *points* is El Nino as in THAT El Nino. And he's quite aware of what he looks like.
Trunks: You mean the weather force El Nino? The one that causes screwed weather?
El Nino: Yep!
Hiei: *Taps foot impatiently* It's only a matter of time before IT finds us and rips us all to shreds!
Vegeta: Speaking of such, why are we out here?
Hiei: Well it's like this...
(Recaps last chapter)
Hiei: ...And after his tore our clothes away, we ran up to Nino's room and hid for almost 2 days.
Everyone minus El Nino: ....
Trunks: Wow. That's horrible.
Hiei: Tell me about it. *Hears un-godly scream from far away* Oh shit.
Vegeta: Why not just blast it?
Hiei: 1) I would kill him and 2) If by some horrible twist of fate I missed or some such shizznat we'd all be dead.
Goku: He has a point.
Gohan, Goten, and Piccolo: *Drops out of sky*
Gohan: Hi there!
Hiei: Gee, took you long enough. Ooh you brought Piccolo.
Piccolo: *Mutters* More like kidnapped me here.
Hiei: We must hurry! Leave no tracks! *Runs over mountain*
El Nino: ....May he never cease to amaze me.
Vegeta: Bah, amateur. *Everyone else flies over mountain*
El Nino: ....I know some cool sons of bitches y'know. *Runs over mountain*
_______________________________________________________________
[1] It would only make sense El Nino's immortal for after the human race dies out and insects and Cher rule the earth, it may not be called El Nino but believe me, he shall be there...some where in the shadows or sumthin like dat.
[2] Imagine Tommy Lee without all the tattoos and piercings with Kid Rock's hair, in a rainbow colored shirt with khakis, and a slight Mexican accent (El Nino is Spanish after all) and no shoes. For those of you who don't know Tommy Lee or Kid Rock, just imagine a tall blond guy who looks kinda like a hippie in a tye-dye shirt, khakis and no shoes.
And as for how Hiei knows the Z senshi...well non-human fighters have to stick together y'know.
Cell: Next: LOTBH II: Who Rules The Braveheart Parody?
DD: Oh boy is THAT gonna be stupid. Prepare and reserve a spot for rehab.
Oh and thanks to Angelfish Smile *winks*
DD: .
...Whaaat?
Cell: Review minna
Hello! After many a period of brewing for my next..."plan of action" I have returned! Huzzah!
Cell: Excellent, I have a job now.
DD: I can pay rent! *Pays land-lady*
...See how charitable and virtuous I am?
Cell: No I sure don't.
Oh before we get to the good stuff, I forgot to thank AoiHyou for pointing out the "Youkai-Youki" thing. I forgot twice to thank her...them. And thanks to all my reviewers...or the ones I haven't frightened off. But sadly, Kurama and Hiei are unable to give out hugs because they are currently "fighting" which we'll get to in just a moment. First I want to explain something: remember what I said about me not doing anymore trilogies? Well, I lied...I think. Who knows how far this will go but it's three parts minimum I suppose. Oh, and here's the part where it becomes a cross over!
Cell: A Dragonball Z/Yu-Yu Hakusho crossover!
So if you haven't seen that or you don't like it either a) go look it up or b) skedaddle children.
DD: Has anyone noticed we up-ed our rating? It's now officially R! Hahahahaha!
One more thing: If you are like me and know little or nothing about "Braveheart" don't worry about being in the dark or anything...you just won't know we're parodying it! We do not own Braveheart, DBZ, YYH or anything else unless noted so if you sue, all yer getting is my muses and my book "The Green Mile" by Stephen King and a pair of stolen sneakers.
DD: Begin transmission
_______________________________________________________________
Lord of the Braveheart Parodies
(1 day after the "house incident")
Hiei: *Hiding in El Nino's room* Do you think he's still mad?
El Nino: *Hears crash in the kitchen followed by un-earthly roar* Yes.
Hiei: We can't keep hiding like this! Sooner or later he'll come in here and kill us both!
El Nino: He should be grateful! We rebuilt his house back from scratch! Hell, it's actually BIGGER now!
Hiei: Keep your voice down! *Footsteps behind door* Aw SHIT!
Kurama: *Non-Human voice* HIEI, ARE YOU IN THERE?!
Hiei & El Nino: *Restrain from having heart-attacks at the sound of his voice*
Hiei: I'm actually scared.
Kurama: *Moves else where*
El Nino: Thank Zeus he's gone!
Hiei: I can't take it any more!
El Nino: What do you suggest we do, pull another Braveheart stunt?! He'd find a bigger and better army of demons and crush us THEN shove our balls down our throats!
Hiei: But we'll have the element of surprise! Plus, I already have a plan.
El Nino: Care to let me in?
Hiei: If we survive tonight, I'll explain it to you in the morning. The demon has to sleep sometime.
El Nino: Whatever you say. Yer the boss.
(6:00 in the A of M)
Hiei: *Trembling* A-are you okay?
El Nino: My right arm is tingling...
Hiei: Don't you dare die on me!
El Nino: I'm immortal you idiot![1]
Hiei: Really? You could be useful...he came TOO close to finding us!
El Nino: It's times like these I'm glad he's a moron.
Hiei: While I take great offense to that, I am forced to agree.
El Nino: Indeed. So what's this great plan oh fearless leader?
Hiei: Simple. We crawl out that door, go to the living room and if we're both still alive, I'll place o few phone calls and we'll go outside and wait. And pray.
El Nino: Are you in-SANE?! Dude, phone calls is what got us here in the first place!
Hiei: Actually YOU got us here. I'm going to get us out. Now keep your voice down and wait for my signal.
Kurama: *Outside door. Still using that non-human voice* I KNOW YOUR IN THIS HOUSE!! I WILL FIND...man I'm sleepy...bah, I'll resume this later. YOR OFF THE HOOK FOR NOW BUT WHEN I FIND YOU YOU'LL BE EATING YOU MANHOODS FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER! ARRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHH! *Goes to his room and slams door*
El Nino: By the gods...
Hiei: Okay, follow me. *Gets up and goes to door. Goes out door*
El Nino: ...*Follows*
Hiei: *In living room* Now you wait here while I make a few phone calls. Should the demon appear run. Then run faster. Then if at all possible break the sound barrier.
El Nino: Can do Capitan! *Salutes*
Hiei: *Shakes head and picks up cordless*
El Nino: Who are you calling, exactly?
Hiei: You'll see. *Dials number* ......Ohayo Goku-san.......yes I know it's 6 in the morning but I and my aficionado are in a bit of a bind......well.....would you? You will? ......Okay......thanks a lot...good bye. *Hangs up*
El Nino: You know GOKU?! THE Son Goku?!
Hiei: Doesn't everybody?
El Nino: ....
Hiei: *Dials another number* ......What's up Trunks?
(30 minutes and 6 phone calls later)
Hiei: ....Thanks Goten...uh-huh......right...gotcha.....Dude, I need to hurry or else I may be killed....okay, thanks....ja ne. *Hangs up*
El Nino: I can't believe you know them! *Looks up stairs. Sees flash of red* *Whispers loudly* Shit, it's him! The beast has awakened! We're screwed!
Hiei: Keep calm, he can smell fear!
El Nino: When are they gonna be here?!
Hiei: Er, like an hour or so.
El Nino: Do we have that long?!
Kurama: *From upstairs* HIEI, IS THAT YOU?!
Hiei: No. *Walks really fast outside*
El Nino: *Follows him*
(Outside. Hiei and Nino have walked half a mile away from the house. Is now 6:50 AM)
Hiei: *Stops at lamp post* Now we wait.
El Nino: Do you think Kurama realizes we're gone?! *Hears the sound of crashing cars and non-human roars* I'll take that as a yes.
Hiei: He's here! RUN! *Nearly breaks sound barrier*
El Nino: *Runs at the speed of light*
Kurama: *2 miles behind them* YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE MEEEE!
Hiei: *Bumps into someone* YOU MO—Hallelujah!
Goku: Er, who's that guy behind you?
El Nino: I am El Nino, the beast gaining on us is Kurama.
Goku: Riiiight.
Hiei: Run!
Goku: Okiedokie. *Run behind Nino and Hiei*
(2 hours later)
Hiei: *Stops at the foot of a mountain* I *pant* think *pant, pant* we lost *huff, pant* him.
Goku: *Looks behind him* Where the hell are we for starters?
El Nino: *Looks up* Cool, it's Mt. Fuji!
Hiei: Mt....damn how far DID we run?!
Goku: Faaaaaaaaar. While we wait, who is this El Nino guy?
Hiei: Ever hear of the weather condition El Nino?
Goku: ...THAT'S El Nino?! THE El Nino?!
El Nino: You may call me Nino, El, Eru-chan, El Nino, or just Master.
Goku: ...But you look like a cross between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock[2]!
El Nino: ...I know.
Vegeta: *Drops out of sky*
Hiei: What took you so long?
Vegeta: Well you were running like the fires of hell were upon you by the time I did arrive so I had to follow you and that red-headed...thing that was chasing you. What was that anyway?
Hiei: It was a human...sort of.
Vegeta: *Points* Who's this guy?
El Nino: I am the evil tropical force known as El Nino. And yes, I'm THAT El Nino and I am quite aware of what I look like.
Vegeta: El Nino? Never heard of it.
El Nino: WHAAAT?!
Trunks: *Floats down* Hello! Hi tousan.
Vegeta: Hn.
Hiei: Where's Gohan and Goten?
Trunks: They'll be around in a bit. Who's—
Goku: That *points* is El Nino as in THAT El Nino. And he's quite aware of what he looks like.
Trunks: You mean the weather force El Nino? The one that causes screwed weather?
El Nino: Yep!
Hiei: *Taps foot impatiently* It's only a matter of time before IT finds us and rips us all to shreds!
Vegeta: Speaking of such, why are we out here?
Hiei: Well it's like this...
(Recaps last chapter)
Hiei: ...And after his tore our clothes away, we ran up to Nino's room and hid for almost 2 days.
Everyone minus El Nino: ....
Trunks: Wow. That's horrible.
Hiei: Tell me about it. *Hears un-godly scream from far away* Oh shit.
Vegeta: Why not just blast it?
Hiei: 1) I would kill him and 2) If by some horrible twist of fate I missed or some such shizznat we'd all be dead.
Goku: He has a point.
Gohan, Goten, and Piccolo: *Drops out of sky*
Gohan: Hi there!
Hiei: Gee, took you long enough. Ooh you brought Piccolo.
Piccolo: *Mutters* More like kidnapped me here.
Hiei: We must hurry! Leave no tracks! *Runs over mountain*
El Nino: ....May he never cease to amaze me.
Vegeta: Bah, amateur. *Everyone else flies over mountain*
El Nino: ....I know some cool sons of bitches y'know. *Runs over mountain*
_______________________________________________________________
[1] It would only make sense El Nino's immortal for after the human race dies out and insects and Cher rule the earth, it may not be called El Nino but believe me, he shall be there...some where in the shadows or sumthin like dat.
[2] Imagine Tommy Lee without all the tattoos and piercings with Kid Rock's hair, in a rainbow colored shirt with khakis, and a slight Mexican accent (El Nino is Spanish after all) and no shoes. For those of you who don't know Tommy Lee or Kid Rock, just imagine a tall blond guy who looks kinda like a hippie in a tye-dye shirt, khakis and no shoes.
And as for how Hiei knows the Z senshi...well non-human fighters have to stick together y'know.
Cell: Next: LOTBH II: Who Rules The Braveheart Parody?
DD: Oh boy is THAT gonna be stupid. Prepare and reserve a spot for rehab.
Oh and thanks to Angelfish Smile *winks*
DD: .
...Whaaat?
Cell: Review minna