Chapter 7
Gosh, I never intended it to go for this long so soon, but this is so fun, and hearing everyone's thoughts has really kept me going, thank you so much everyone.
Alright, I think it's obvious now that most of the story will be totally centered on the Tofu that will or won't happen. I'm not a completely always happy ending person. Some of the best stories in here have sad endings, and they are the ones worth remembering and or well written. I like that one called, 'It doesn't't hurt' I think that's what it was, by Wild flowers. That was a great emotional story but doesn't't have a happy ending L aah!!
Now you're thinking NOOO!!! It's going to be a sad ending and Fuuko will be all alone! Well you'll just have to wait and see (I may like sad endings, but I'm partial to happy ones, so stay tuned. :P)
Disclaimer: I do not known Flame of Recca (but I'll take Mikagami Tokiya and Fuuko Kirisawa if they were available! Hell I love FOR so much I'd settle for Mokuren! *remembers he likes doing weird things to women such as myself…*… oh… maybe not @_@)
Ok on with the show!
The next day of school was like no other winter day. The snow was beings shoveled away from the foot paths, young children who had the day off school were throwing snowballs at each other, and the adults did not say a thing about it, some even joined in. And all was well with the world.
Despite that, you would think twice about that last thought if you saw the look on Fuuko Kirisawa's face. It was Wednesday. Yes Wedneday. So? What was so special about that day? It was not special, that was the point. For Fuuko Kirisawa though, what had NOT happened that day,
not once since she and Mikagami had started walking with each other had he missed out walking with her on a Wednesday. There was no real reason they had for always walking to school together on a Wednesday, it was just habit, and was always the morning Fuuko would get up earlier to prepare herself for school. She had always subconsciously looked forward to that day… She would even neaten out her appearance more for that day with out realizing it till Recca would make a stupid comment about how she might be turning into a girl.
She sighed heavily. Her hair was getting much longer now. She remembered something he mother would say about her hair. Her mother had always loved her hair, but one day they had, had a fight, and she cut it short. Thinking back, she remembered that day wall. Her hair used to always be in a childish braid so that it would not get in the way of her face when fighting Recca. In a fit of rage after the argument with her mother she had cut it. She laughed inwardly as she remembered the look on her mother's face.
She even remembered the look on her own face as she looked in the mirror. She actually really liked the look. For a while anyway.
Her mother had begged her to grow it again, when ever she was home of course. Perhaps that was why she was growing it now. She had never got to fulfill one of her mother's insignificant wishes. Another one of her mother's wishes was that she wished her daughter was more feminine and stop fighting boys all the time. If Fuuko was talking to her mother right now… she laugh and tell her that it would never happen. The brash and boisterous girl that was known as Fuuko Kirisawa would always be there even though she would disappear at times like these sometimes. She would always be back.
It was the REAL her, but oh well, she'd give into one wish of her dear departed mother and grow her hair and a last respects to her. And perhaps… just perhaps, she would become just a little feminine… because of how she felt towards a certain someone…
She looked up a little as heard voices of excited girls gibbering about something insignificant. As she walked past she could not help but hear her name in one of the sentences.
'At least we now that Mikagami-sempai is not interested in Fuuko Kirisawa anymore…'
She was about to jump them and demand why they were talking about her when she suddenly noticed Mikagami walking towards his home room. Her mood brightened a little and she rushed through the crowds of students who were trying to make it up the stairs to their next classes. Though Fuuko was having a hard time trying to get up the stairs through everyone, people seemed to unconsciously make way for him. It must have been his intimidating nature. Though Fuuko had never felt threatened by his nature at all.
"Mi-chan! Wait a sec!" she called out over the moving students. She got a little frustrated when he did not turn. She was going ton scream out to him. But for a moment she noticed he turned just a little for her to know that he knew she was there.
She stopped in her steps. She knew he knew she was there. So why was he not even looking at her. She blinked for a moment.
"Why did you leave last night?" she whispered to herself as if that was what she wanted to ask him. He turned back to his route to class and did not look back down at her again. She felt her heart sink once again. Why, just why was he ignoring her? After all they had been through... done together. She just did not undestand it. She just put her hands on her hips angrily and pointed at him.
"Mi-chan you jerk!" she shouted. Everyone on the stairway stopped dead in their steps from the surprise.
**
Mikagami reflected momentarily on what had happened this morning while he was in class. He had heard Fuuko calling him from a far. But he was not going to stop no matter what she said. Even if she had made a complete scene of herself, he was not going to let him spend anymore voluntary time with her. It was just too dangerous.
Why?
Because he was man enough to accept that she was starting to get under his skin, and every rational thought in his body said it was not right. So what was a man to do, if he could not fight, he had to run. He found it rather cowardly and cursed his weakness. Why could he just not wave the thought away. He could not be with her, she was Fuuko Kirisawa for God's sake...
Not only that, but the reason's that had formulated their relationship thus far had been the wrong ones. He could not be with her just because they would start off for the wrong reasons? Was that the best he could do?
His brow creased a little at the thought. Of course he could do better. The girl was a Monkey from the start and would be a monkey to the end. She was not worth his time .She was just another part of the circus troupe, code named Hokage to make it sound cool, that was led by that sea monkey of a ninja, Hanabishi Recca. Ok, sure he was reluctantly a part the group even after the Tournament. He was guilty of enjoying his time with them, even if he would never admit being part of such a group.
Even if Yanagi... and Fuuko were a part of that group. Huh why did he add Fuuko in that sentence.
"Mikagami Tokiya-san?"
"He knew why, it was hard to admit his feeling for her. Though he had to try force those feelings back. It was not right for them to be together, he reasoned. They would be together for the wrong reasons. To gain emotional support from one another. After she had returned to her former state with out a care in the world, she would eventually leave and chase other ventures. He was sure. He had heard of it many times.
"Mikagami?"
Hmph, that was the best reason he could come up with? That was kind of pathetic, you're just running away because you're afraid of her aren't you?! His brow creased further. Hmph, of course not, there is not was you're going to have a relationship with a boisterous, lively, tomboyish, purple haired_
"MIKAGAMI TOKIYA-SAN!"
Mikagami snapped out of his thoughts when the teacher called out his named for the final time.
"Sorry to interrupt your day dreaming, but no matter how genius you are, please at least pretend you are paying attention." the teacher snapped. Mikagami did not know what to say once again. This was the second time thinking about Fuuko had got him in trouble. There had to be something done about it...
"Sorry Sir." he simply answered and the teacher resumed to lecturing about a topic he already knew about.
Something had to be done. He could not go on like this. Every time he was in Fuuko Kirisawa's presence or thinking of her he would feel strange... thought he could not place the feeling, he still had to stop it. He resolved, that after school...
Something would be done about it.
**
After school...
The snow had stopped falling momentarily and students slowly filed out school eager to go home or catch up with their friends. Fuuko Kirisawa was no exception. She waited outside of school for that certain someone. It was not Recca, Yanagi, or Domon, because they had left already. Actually most the students had left. But Fuuko had not seen Mikagami Tokiya leave the building yet. She was getting a little frustrated. She laughed inwardly. This is probably what Mikagami had felt when he had waited for her that first time she had detention.
Finally the Ice Man's figure could be seen leaving the school. Fuuko's eyes brightened. She had left behind the previous troubles that Mikagami had caused her when he had walked away from her a few times. She figured anything could be fixed. She just had to know what was wrong.
That was not the only reason she came out today to wait for him. There... was something she wanted to tell him...
Thought she put up an excited face, her insides were in knots.
"Mi-chan!!!!" she called out and waved. Mikagami looked at her with a dead serious look on his face. He stalked over to her and stopped about 2 meters away from her.
"Mi-chan? Don't tell me you had detention!? That's impossible!" she smiled and teased him for his punishment. The idea that Mikagami Tokiya had detention was absurd!
He still looked at her seriously, not saying a word. She saw the look, and for the first time in her life, felt intimidated by it. Why was he looking at her like that?
"Mi-chan? Are... are you alright?" she asked. What was the matter she wondered. Why was he acting so strange to her? He was treating her with the same attitude was to one of his usual fan girls or something. Argh! He was not allowed to treat her like that! They were supposed to be good friends!
Mikagami felt her cheeriness drop about 100 points, she had been intimidated by him. That was definitely a first. She was supposedly the only female in school who was not intimidated by who he was and how he looked at you. But she pressed on, like a few fan girls did.
"Mi-chan?" She paused heavily, she realized he was not going to talk right now, she did not know why, but it did not matter. She came here with a purpose to say what she had wanted to say for a while. She had only admitted her feelings to herself recently. But if she did not get it out, she knew she would explode. How many other girls had been in her own spot, she wondered. How many had told the Ice Man how they had felt about him and got no where. But it did not matter to her how many had. She had more of a chance than any of those girls. Sure she was not as pretty or as smart as some of those other girls...but she just had to try...
"Mi-chan... I um, since you're not talking right now, I want to talk." She forced it out of her more. She knew she was stalling for time to get the courage to say such a thing. She felt her gut wrench tightly, her cheeks had become a little pinkish. Hmph, Fuuko Kirisawa never blushed! She told herself trying to hold it back. Agh, she could not imagine what it could possibly look like on her.
"Mi-chan... I want.. I want to tell you how... how I feel about..."
She looked at him with resolve in her eyes. She wanted to cry because this was so hard. Never in a million years would she have thought she would be in this position with Mikagami Tokiya, but here she was professing her heart to him. Yes it was proved to the world, the IMPOSSIBLE does happen, tomboy girls like her can like bishounen guys like him. It sounded like some cheesy anime idea, but it was still so hard....
"...About... everything... but how I feel about... you..." she finally said YOU to him. She looked away a little not wanting to see what look would be in his eyes.
"I know we are friends and all, and because of all the time... we've spent together... I... I've..." she knew that was not part of her original planned sentence, but she was surprised in how she could not control herself. This was nuts! Fuuko! You're not meant to be like this. A frustrated look crossed her face, which was totally Fuuko-like. Mikagami just stood there listening, not giving any reaction.
"What are you going to do?! Just stand there?!" she exclaimed finally unable to take his silence. Yet he still said nothing, it was like he was trying to find a reaction in his head to what she was saying, but nothing was coming out. He just stared at her.
She clenched her fists and resolved to finally let it out. Fuuko Kirisawa.... was not a weak girl... no matter what the matter, to matters of the heart to fighting evil organizations! Even if sometimes things would get her down a lot, she would always be Fuuko Kirisawa, boisterous and full of life at the end of the long hard road. Even after all the terrible things she had been through in the last few months, even though it was the worst time of her life... Mikagami had helped her realize... she was allowed to cry. That she could still be Fuuko Kirisawa, boisterous and lively, and still cry... That was why she respected him, and that was why she considered him a friend.
But that was not why she loved him. She knew inside it would seem that she was with him just to cling to him, and it was partly the reason, but no, it was not only that. They had fought together for life and death situations, they had spent endless hours talking together, having fun, supporting each other, helping each other... and so many other things... and she had started to fall for him... gradually and slowly... This was no high school heart throb crush. To her it was something more. Sometihng she had never felt before. She did not Lust for him like most girls, sure he was gorgeous and smart, but such things were frivolous to her in the long run. She had fallen for what Mikagami Tokiya really was to her.
She knew she was a little lucky to know him better than any of the other girls, and she was grateful. She truly was, she did not know if she would have got through that hard time without him. And his friendship was greatly appreciated.
Also, his arrogance and dirty tongue, matched her own attitude. She did not think other girls could put up with his dirty mouth. She could, and it had made their meetings interesting..
The fact that he was extremely attractive though... had definitely not escaped her thoughts.
She smiled to herself a little as she was remembering why she was here. No would could tell her she was in love, she just kind of knew it... and felt it. She was in love with Mikagami Tokiya. And it gave her strength to admit it to him... and to herself.
"Mi-chan..." she paused, no she wanted to say something else... she clenched her hands a little as she parted her mouth to speak.
"... Tokiya..." she had never said that word... that first name to him ever unless combined with Mikagami Tokiya. She had never even whispered it to herself. She had never thought about saying it before. But it rolled of her tongue so well, she had just had to.
"I.... I...." she held her breath about to let it out.
"I."
"I know how you feel Fuuko Kirisawa." interrupted Mikagami in his usual arrogant voice. She stopped in her speech. He knew?? But... She realized her heart was beating a thousand... no a million miles a second!
Fuuko Kirisawa? Been a long time since he called her THAT.
"Y-you know????" she asked, though this time she was not flabbergasted or something like that, her voice had gone softer, and she placed her hand on her chest unsure what this meant. She was frightened, more frightened than she was of dying from Mikoto's poison claws. He know held her heart in his hands.
"I've known... I'm not as oblivious as people think me to be. The only people who are truly that oblivious, are characters from a fictional anime series or something like that on television." he reasoned. She would have retorted her, but she just could not. What was he saying?? Was it what she feared?
"It's only right to tell you, that I do not feel the same way."
Yes... She was right.
Her hand fell from her chest...
Silence...
The silence even for a brief moment was painful to her. That was it?! That... was... it...
Tokiya...
That's all you.. have to say?
It's true then.
Her heart had been smashed against a rock. She had to once again pick up the pieces.
You really are an Ice Man like they say...
Even so, she could not help but feel the humorous about her situation. Had she gone mad? She looked at him slowly and smiled a little. For a moment she wanted to smash that pretty face of his with her fists right now. But of course she should not, it's not like she can force him to feel the same way about her. Life was not like that. Life was hard... and full of trials. Sometimes it was happy, sometimes it was not. There was no other explanation to this situation she had told herself...
Not everyone could win, but at least everyone could cry...
"You should cry if you are upset. I had no intention of hurting you though, I did not want to lead you on to believe something that was not there." he concluded. She could not help but notice that line was a little weaker said than the last one. Did not sound like he really meant that. She told herself not to think like that, she was just grasping at straws.
Why would he say that and not mean it? What would be his reason besides that he did not feel the same way...
Somehow she looked at him with resolve in her eyes once again. She would still be strong... there was no way she wanted to be so weak as she was before. She did not want to cry even if she was upset.
There was one last thing to do.
She forced a smile.
"I won't cry..." she started to walk slowly towards him. He did not move as she cupped his beautiful face in her hands. Her face so close to his. She was closer than any other girl had been before. Yet Mikagami still had not moved. She did not even begin to wonder why he did not move away. Was in guilt for not returning the same feelings to her, was because he did not know what to do, or could it be that 'other' reason. She rather had not had thought about it at all, she just had to do it.
He stood there in wonder of her actions. He did not move... he could not move..
"I just wanted to say, I love you Mikagami Tokiya.... even if it's a litle useless now..." she stated. She then slowly leant in closer and pressed her lips softly against his. She did not mind that he did not return it. She closed her eyes as she did it.
She did not notice it... but for a moment he closed his own. But only for a moment, that it was barely noticeable, and could have been confused was a blink of the eyes.
She then pulled away with a smile. She put her hands on her hips with a smile and turned to leave. She had shown Mikagami a brave face. The face that he knew, and everyone knew... But when she turned there was a pained one... a weak one. The one that only he and Fuuko herself knew about.
Mikagami just stood there. He touched his lips while she was not looking. Strange as it would have sounded to anyone, that was his first kiss. He figured everyone would laugh at him or think it was cute... depending on the sex of course. He cared nothing for it though... he told himself...
He could not help but feel this tingling sensation on his lips... they had never touched anothers before, it caused a small surge of emotions in him and unconsciously he said Fuuko's name as if to say something, but realized he had nothing to say.
"Fuuko_"
"Don't say anything, really don't. Even though it did not turn out the way I hoped, I'm not going to cry. That's just silly." she looked back at him and shot him the exact same smile as the the one she had given to them in Gashakura's fight, when she was saying the electric fence wounds did not hurt at all...
He recalled Kagero saying that she was lying. This was definitely the same.
She poked her tongue at him and turned back to the path and started to walk. She waved carelessly but did not look at him.
"See you at school tomorrow Mi-chan." she said as if nothing had happened between them. Mikagami did not say anything but started to walk his own direction home...
***
Mikagami continued his way home. He was almost there. He could see his own house. It was a nice looking house. His parents had left it to them when they had died. He had returned to it after he had stopped living with his master. He did not want to think about him right now, he had enough problems on his mind.
He touched his lips again.
Had he thought about it more, and if things had been different, he may have returned the kiss, but he did not, he did not even move. His mind was on Fuuko and what he had done. Though he had regrets, he did not think there was anything he could do. Mikagami was alone, having another person in his life would just make it complicated. It did not matter how he felt about that person.
He shook his head as he entered his house. He was just coming up with one excuse after another for pushing Fuuko away.
He sat on the couch silently. He could not help but feel how silent his afternoon had been compared to usual. He had half expected a boisterous and lively Fuuko Kirisawa to come barging through the door and demand for him to help her cook dinner or something. It would not have been the first time.
But she never came.
He knew the answer to his actions. He had always known it. He was afraid... frightened... no.. he was petrified.
He wondered which was more frightening, having Fuuko in his life, or Fuuko not in his life.
I'm a coward... I'm a fool, but most of all I'm a coward.
He held his head in his hands, he was unable to think straight. He noticed a picture of Mifiyu on the coffee table. He looked at her. Would things be different if she was still around? There was no question to that. He would not have been alone all his life if she was here. Mifiyu, why did you have to leave?
He stopped in his thoughts, he was not going to blame Mifiyu for his predicament. She would have wanted him to move on. Not wallow in this hell called loneliness. It was not her fault at all. He was the one that had made himself alone... he was the one that shut out people before they could get close. He was the fool...
He had used Mifiyu as an excuse for being so only all this time. When the truth was he was was too cowardly to become close to anyone. For fear they would leave, for fear they would hurt him. His arrogant exterior displayed that he WANTED to be alone, to be left alone, that he would intimidate you into leaving him. He did not need people, because he was above everyone. He had pride and did not need anyone there. Though he remembered something Fuuko had said to him. He remembered it had an affect on him, though at the time he did not know why.
'You and your stupid pride can go to hell! Not that you have anything to be proud of anyway!' (2nd chapter i think @_@)
It had affected him because it had felt like someone had seen through his ruse, that his pride was nothing but a smoke screen. Of course she probably had not thought that, but it had affected him. That was why he went to see her after school that day. He had gone over to her in the library after the bell had rung, he had noticed her look through her book at a picture of Ganko. When she started to look solemn he had left at that point.
He did not know why he wanted to see her after school that day. There was no ulterior motive, it was just that her comment had disturbed him, also.... he had never seen Fuuko so solemn before. He was a little curious about what Fuuko had been getting up to actually. All her actions were making him think she was more than just a Monkey... she seemed to be in some trouble. He figured there was no harm in walking her home.
That was his memory that started this whole fiasco. He knew now, the reasons he was giving for not being with Fuuko were all one sided.
'I love you Mikagami Tokiya, even if it's a little useless now...'
To tell the truth, a few girls had told him that, but none of those girls had gotten even a even a mile within how close Fuuko had got to him. He had been telling himself that it was her that was getting dependant on him. It was her that needed him for support. He did not know if he was right or not. But that did not matter. That was not the point.
He was the one that needed her. He had been the one that was getting dependant on her. Why else would he be thinking about her so much. Why had he chosen to walk her to school and home almost everyday. Why had he gotten up that little bit earlier to be with her. It was all a subconscious thing but he knew he was the one relying Fuuko to cure his loneliness. Fuuko was lonely also, but she had always had her friends to rely on when the going got tough. So she was not truly alone... just at home... now she was cured and no longer lonely, she was supposed to leave him. Not the other way round.
She had obviously loved him for reasons's other than relying on each other for emotional support. It was him that was running away from her. He ran because he was frightened...
She was the strong one. It was not him...
He lay on the couch... a tear jerked from his right eye as he stared at the ceiling.
"I'm a coward Sister, what should I do..."
**
Mean while...
The sun was setting. It was setting earlier because it was winter. Though it's orange glow still sat on Fuuko as she sat idly on a swing. There was no one else there... She just sat there in a sighy mood. She was actually rather surprised that she did not feel totally Sdepressed, just sighy about the whole thing.
Perhaps she really was a strong girl on the inside. She thought to herself. After all the pain she had got through, she had come through stronger. She had been able to come out of her depression and back to the Lively Fuuko Kirisawa. She felt a little proud of herself.
Yes, she had admitted her feelings to Mikagami, she even kissed him. Though things did not turn out they way she had hoped... she felt less pain than she had thought she would have. She had not cried. She did not allow herself to cry. She thought to herself, there was no way Mikagami would cry for me. I do not think it's appropriate I cry any more right now...
Things don't work out all the time. She reasoned. Though no matter how she reasoned, her feelings for Mikagami and the rejection was still there. She was proud of herself for being able to do what she did, but sad that it had turned out a happy ending. She sighed and looked down a little.
"That sad face does not suit a young lady such as yourself." said a male voice. Fuuko looked at where the voice came from immediately. Her heart almost hoped it was Mikagami but the voice was not his.
Her eyes wondered as a long haired man stood before her.
"..... Raiha..."
_________________________________________
WAAHH!!! I'm so sorry for putting this one out so late! I had a serious case of writers block, i had no idea how to not make a tofu not sappy, absolutely NO IDEA, i've read pretty much all tofus, and thought they are very enjoyable, i still feel parts of them are like soapies :P hah hah, hey i like a little soapie every now and then, but i did not want mine to be too sappy :)
Yes, Raiha has a SMALL part to play in this story. He i heard him and Fuuko fight for like three days????? in the manga right?? that's like.... lloonnnggg... didn't they sleep?? :P I'm pretty sure how this story is going to go now... the ending in limbo at the moment, but i'd say about 1-2 more chapters to go and finito! owari, fin, the end, how ever you wanna put it. Ideas would be great, it you wanna review that would be greaatttt. in my next chapters i'm replying/thanking all the people who reviewed! since the story could end with the next chapter!
I love all you readers and reviewers, you make writing worth while!
Gosh, I never intended it to go for this long so soon, but this is so fun, and hearing everyone's thoughts has really kept me going, thank you so much everyone.
Alright, I think it's obvious now that most of the story will be totally centered on the Tofu that will or won't happen. I'm not a completely always happy ending person. Some of the best stories in here have sad endings, and they are the ones worth remembering and or well written. I like that one called, 'It doesn't't hurt' I think that's what it was, by Wild flowers. That was a great emotional story but doesn't't have a happy ending L aah!!
Now you're thinking NOOO!!! It's going to be a sad ending and Fuuko will be all alone! Well you'll just have to wait and see (I may like sad endings, but I'm partial to happy ones, so stay tuned. :P)
Disclaimer: I do not known Flame of Recca (but I'll take Mikagami Tokiya and Fuuko Kirisawa if they were available! Hell I love FOR so much I'd settle for Mokuren! *remembers he likes doing weird things to women such as myself…*… oh… maybe not @_@)
Ok on with the show!
The next day of school was like no other winter day. The snow was beings shoveled away from the foot paths, young children who had the day off school were throwing snowballs at each other, and the adults did not say a thing about it, some even joined in. And all was well with the world.
Despite that, you would think twice about that last thought if you saw the look on Fuuko Kirisawa's face. It was Wednesday. Yes Wedneday. So? What was so special about that day? It was not special, that was the point. For Fuuko Kirisawa though, what had NOT happened that day,
not once since she and Mikagami had started walking with each other had he missed out walking with her on a Wednesday. There was no real reason they had for always walking to school together on a Wednesday, it was just habit, and was always the morning Fuuko would get up earlier to prepare herself for school. She had always subconsciously looked forward to that day… She would even neaten out her appearance more for that day with out realizing it till Recca would make a stupid comment about how she might be turning into a girl.
She sighed heavily. Her hair was getting much longer now. She remembered something he mother would say about her hair. Her mother had always loved her hair, but one day they had, had a fight, and she cut it short. Thinking back, she remembered that day wall. Her hair used to always be in a childish braid so that it would not get in the way of her face when fighting Recca. In a fit of rage after the argument with her mother she had cut it. She laughed inwardly as she remembered the look on her mother's face.
She even remembered the look on her own face as she looked in the mirror. She actually really liked the look. For a while anyway.
Her mother had begged her to grow it again, when ever she was home of course. Perhaps that was why she was growing it now. She had never got to fulfill one of her mother's insignificant wishes. Another one of her mother's wishes was that she wished her daughter was more feminine and stop fighting boys all the time. If Fuuko was talking to her mother right now… she laugh and tell her that it would never happen. The brash and boisterous girl that was known as Fuuko Kirisawa would always be there even though she would disappear at times like these sometimes. She would always be back.
It was the REAL her, but oh well, she'd give into one wish of her dear departed mother and grow her hair and a last respects to her. And perhaps… just perhaps, she would become just a little feminine… because of how she felt towards a certain someone…
She looked up a little as heard voices of excited girls gibbering about something insignificant. As she walked past she could not help but hear her name in one of the sentences.
'At least we now that Mikagami-sempai is not interested in Fuuko Kirisawa anymore…'
She was about to jump them and demand why they were talking about her when she suddenly noticed Mikagami walking towards his home room. Her mood brightened a little and she rushed through the crowds of students who were trying to make it up the stairs to their next classes. Though Fuuko was having a hard time trying to get up the stairs through everyone, people seemed to unconsciously make way for him. It must have been his intimidating nature. Though Fuuko had never felt threatened by his nature at all.
"Mi-chan! Wait a sec!" she called out over the moving students. She got a little frustrated when he did not turn. She was going ton scream out to him. But for a moment she noticed he turned just a little for her to know that he knew she was there.
She stopped in her steps. She knew he knew she was there. So why was he not even looking at her. She blinked for a moment.
"Why did you leave last night?" she whispered to herself as if that was what she wanted to ask him. He turned back to his route to class and did not look back down at her again. She felt her heart sink once again. Why, just why was he ignoring her? After all they had been through... done together. She just did not undestand it. She just put her hands on her hips angrily and pointed at him.
"Mi-chan you jerk!" she shouted. Everyone on the stairway stopped dead in their steps from the surprise.
**
Mikagami reflected momentarily on what had happened this morning while he was in class. He had heard Fuuko calling him from a far. But he was not going to stop no matter what she said. Even if she had made a complete scene of herself, he was not going to let him spend anymore voluntary time with her. It was just too dangerous.
Why?
Because he was man enough to accept that she was starting to get under his skin, and every rational thought in his body said it was not right. So what was a man to do, if he could not fight, he had to run. He found it rather cowardly and cursed his weakness. Why could he just not wave the thought away. He could not be with her, she was Fuuko Kirisawa for God's sake...
Not only that, but the reason's that had formulated their relationship thus far had been the wrong ones. He could not be with her just because they would start off for the wrong reasons? Was that the best he could do?
His brow creased a little at the thought. Of course he could do better. The girl was a Monkey from the start and would be a monkey to the end. She was not worth his time .She was just another part of the circus troupe, code named Hokage to make it sound cool, that was led by that sea monkey of a ninja, Hanabishi Recca. Ok, sure he was reluctantly a part the group even after the Tournament. He was guilty of enjoying his time with them, even if he would never admit being part of such a group.
Even if Yanagi... and Fuuko were a part of that group. Huh why did he add Fuuko in that sentence.
"Mikagami Tokiya-san?"
"He knew why, it was hard to admit his feeling for her. Though he had to try force those feelings back. It was not right for them to be together, he reasoned. They would be together for the wrong reasons. To gain emotional support from one another. After she had returned to her former state with out a care in the world, she would eventually leave and chase other ventures. He was sure. He had heard of it many times.
"Mikagami?"
Hmph, that was the best reason he could come up with? That was kind of pathetic, you're just running away because you're afraid of her aren't you?! His brow creased further. Hmph, of course not, there is not was you're going to have a relationship with a boisterous, lively, tomboyish, purple haired_
"MIKAGAMI TOKIYA-SAN!"
Mikagami snapped out of his thoughts when the teacher called out his named for the final time.
"Sorry to interrupt your day dreaming, but no matter how genius you are, please at least pretend you are paying attention." the teacher snapped. Mikagami did not know what to say once again. This was the second time thinking about Fuuko had got him in trouble. There had to be something done about it...
"Sorry Sir." he simply answered and the teacher resumed to lecturing about a topic he already knew about.
Something had to be done. He could not go on like this. Every time he was in Fuuko Kirisawa's presence or thinking of her he would feel strange... thought he could not place the feeling, he still had to stop it. He resolved, that after school...
Something would be done about it.
**
After school...
The snow had stopped falling momentarily and students slowly filed out school eager to go home or catch up with their friends. Fuuko Kirisawa was no exception. She waited outside of school for that certain someone. It was not Recca, Yanagi, or Domon, because they had left already. Actually most the students had left. But Fuuko had not seen Mikagami Tokiya leave the building yet. She was getting a little frustrated. She laughed inwardly. This is probably what Mikagami had felt when he had waited for her that first time she had detention.
Finally the Ice Man's figure could be seen leaving the school. Fuuko's eyes brightened. She had left behind the previous troubles that Mikagami had caused her when he had walked away from her a few times. She figured anything could be fixed. She just had to know what was wrong.
That was not the only reason she came out today to wait for him. There... was something she wanted to tell him...
Thought she put up an excited face, her insides were in knots.
"Mi-chan!!!!" she called out and waved. Mikagami looked at her with a dead serious look on his face. He stalked over to her and stopped about 2 meters away from her.
"Mi-chan? Don't tell me you had detention!? That's impossible!" she smiled and teased him for his punishment. The idea that Mikagami Tokiya had detention was absurd!
He still looked at her seriously, not saying a word. She saw the look, and for the first time in her life, felt intimidated by it. Why was he looking at her like that?
"Mi-chan? Are... are you alright?" she asked. What was the matter she wondered. Why was he acting so strange to her? He was treating her with the same attitude was to one of his usual fan girls or something. Argh! He was not allowed to treat her like that! They were supposed to be good friends!
Mikagami felt her cheeriness drop about 100 points, she had been intimidated by him. That was definitely a first. She was supposedly the only female in school who was not intimidated by who he was and how he looked at you. But she pressed on, like a few fan girls did.
"Mi-chan?" She paused heavily, she realized he was not going to talk right now, she did not know why, but it did not matter. She came here with a purpose to say what she had wanted to say for a while. She had only admitted her feelings to herself recently. But if she did not get it out, she knew she would explode. How many other girls had been in her own spot, she wondered. How many had told the Ice Man how they had felt about him and got no where. But it did not matter to her how many had. She had more of a chance than any of those girls. Sure she was not as pretty or as smart as some of those other girls...but she just had to try...
"Mi-chan... I um, since you're not talking right now, I want to talk." She forced it out of her more. She knew she was stalling for time to get the courage to say such a thing. She felt her gut wrench tightly, her cheeks had become a little pinkish. Hmph, Fuuko Kirisawa never blushed! She told herself trying to hold it back. Agh, she could not imagine what it could possibly look like on her.
"Mi-chan... I want.. I want to tell you how... how I feel about..."
She looked at him with resolve in her eyes. She wanted to cry because this was so hard. Never in a million years would she have thought she would be in this position with Mikagami Tokiya, but here she was professing her heart to him. Yes it was proved to the world, the IMPOSSIBLE does happen, tomboy girls like her can like bishounen guys like him. It sounded like some cheesy anime idea, but it was still so hard....
"...About... everything... but how I feel about... you..." she finally said YOU to him. She looked away a little not wanting to see what look would be in his eyes.
"I know we are friends and all, and because of all the time... we've spent together... I... I've..." she knew that was not part of her original planned sentence, but she was surprised in how she could not control herself. This was nuts! Fuuko! You're not meant to be like this. A frustrated look crossed her face, which was totally Fuuko-like. Mikagami just stood there listening, not giving any reaction.
"What are you going to do?! Just stand there?!" she exclaimed finally unable to take his silence. Yet he still said nothing, it was like he was trying to find a reaction in his head to what she was saying, but nothing was coming out. He just stared at her.
She clenched her fists and resolved to finally let it out. Fuuko Kirisawa.... was not a weak girl... no matter what the matter, to matters of the heart to fighting evil organizations! Even if sometimes things would get her down a lot, she would always be Fuuko Kirisawa, boisterous and full of life at the end of the long hard road. Even after all the terrible things she had been through in the last few months, even though it was the worst time of her life... Mikagami had helped her realize... she was allowed to cry. That she could still be Fuuko Kirisawa, boisterous and lively, and still cry... That was why she respected him, and that was why she considered him a friend.
But that was not why she loved him. She knew inside it would seem that she was with him just to cling to him, and it was partly the reason, but no, it was not only that. They had fought together for life and death situations, they had spent endless hours talking together, having fun, supporting each other, helping each other... and so many other things... and she had started to fall for him... gradually and slowly... This was no high school heart throb crush. To her it was something more. Sometihng she had never felt before. She did not Lust for him like most girls, sure he was gorgeous and smart, but such things were frivolous to her in the long run. She had fallen for what Mikagami Tokiya really was to her.
She knew she was a little lucky to know him better than any of the other girls, and she was grateful. She truly was, she did not know if she would have got through that hard time without him. And his friendship was greatly appreciated.
Also, his arrogance and dirty tongue, matched her own attitude. She did not think other girls could put up with his dirty mouth. She could, and it had made their meetings interesting..
The fact that he was extremely attractive though... had definitely not escaped her thoughts.
She smiled to herself a little as she was remembering why she was here. No would could tell her she was in love, she just kind of knew it... and felt it. She was in love with Mikagami Tokiya. And it gave her strength to admit it to him... and to herself.
"Mi-chan..." she paused, no she wanted to say something else... she clenched her hands a little as she parted her mouth to speak.
"... Tokiya..." she had never said that word... that first name to him ever unless combined with Mikagami Tokiya. She had never even whispered it to herself. She had never thought about saying it before. But it rolled of her tongue so well, she had just had to.
"I.... I...." she held her breath about to let it out.
"I."
"I know how you feel Fuuko Kirisawa." interrupted Mikagami in his usual arrogant voice. She stopped in her speech. He knew?? But... She realized her heart was beating a thousand... no a million miles a second!
Fuuko Kirisawa? Been a long time since he called her THAT.
"Y-you know????" she asked, though this time she was not flabbergasted or something like that, her voice had gone softer, and she placed her hand on her chest unsure what this meant. She was frightened, more frightened than she was of dying from Mikoto's poison claws. He know held her heart in his hands.
"I've known... I'm not as oblivious as people think me to be. The only people who are truly that oblivious, are characters from a fictional anime series or something like that on television." he reasoned. She would have retorted her, but she just could not. What was he saying?? Was it what she feared?
"It's only right to tell you, that I do not feel the same way."
Yes... She was right.
Her hand fell from her chest...
Silence...
The silence even for a brief moment was painful to her. That was it?! That... was... it...
Tokiya...
That's all you.. have to say?
It's true then.
Her heart had been smashed against a rock. She had to once again pick up the pieces.
You really are an Ice Man like they say...
Even so, she could not help but feel the humorous about her situation. Had she gone mad? She looked at him slowly and smiled a little. For a moment she wanted to smash that pretty face of his with her fists right now. But of course she should not, it's not like she can force him to feel the same way about her. Life was not like that. Life was hard... and full of trials. Sometimes it was happy, sometimes it was not. There was no other explanation to this situation she had told herself...
Not everyone could win, but at least everyone could cry...
"You should cry if you are upset. I had no intention of hurting you though, I did not want to lead you on to believe something that was not there." he concluded. She could not help but notice that line was a little weaker said than the last one. Did not sound like he really meant that. She told herself not to think like that, she was just grasping at straws.
Why would he say that and not mean it? What would be his reason besides that he did not feel the same way...
Somehow she looked at him with resolve in her eyes once again. She would still be strong... there was no way she wanted to be so weak as she was before. She did not want to cry even if she was upset.
There was one last thing to do.
She forced a smile.
"I won't cry..." she started to walk slowly towards him. He did not move as she cupped his beautiful face in her hands. Her face so close to his. She was closer than any other girl had been before. Yet Mikagami still had not moved. She did not even begin to wonder why he did not move away. Was in guilt for not returning the same feelings to her, was because he did not know what to do, or could it be that 'other' reason. She rather had not had thought about it at all, she just had to do it.
He stood there in wonder of her actions. He did not move... he could not move..
"I just wanted to say, I love you Mikagami Tokiya.... even if it's a litle useless now..." she stated. She then slowly leant in closer and pressed her lips softly against his. She did not mind that he did not return it. She closed her eyes as she did it.
She did not notice it... but for a moment he closed his own. But only for a moment, that it was barely noticeable, and could have been confused was a blink of the eyes.
She then pulled away with a smile. She put her hands on her hips with a smile and turned to leave. She had shown Mikagami a brave face. The face that he knew, and everyone knew... But when she turned there was a pained one... a weak one. The one that only he and Fuuko herself knew about.
Mikagami just stood there. He touched his lips while she was not looking. Strange as it would have sounded to anyone, that was his first kiss. He figured everyone would laugh at him or think it was cute... depending on the sex of course. He cared nothing for it though... he told himself...
He could not help but feel this tingling sensation on his lips... they had never touched anothers before, it caused a small surge of emotions in him and unconsciously he said Fuuko's name as if to say something, but realized he had nothing to say.
"Fuuko_"
"Don't say anything, really don't. Even though it did not turn out the way I hoped, I'm not going to cry. That's just silly." she looked back at him and shot him the exact same smile as the the one she had given to them in Gashakura's fight, when she was saying the electric fence wounds did not hurt at all...
He recalled Kagero saying that she was lying. This was definitely the same.
She poked her tongue at him and turned back to the path and started to walk. She waved carelessly but did not look at him.
"See you at school tomorrow Mi-chan." she said as if nothing had happened between them. Mikagami did not say anything but started to walk his own direction home...
***
Mikagami continued his way home. He was almost there. He could see his own house. It was a nice looking house. His parents had left it to them when they had died. He had returned to it after he had stopped living with his master. He did not want to think about him right now, he had enough problems on his mind.
He touched his lips again.
Had he thought about it more, and if things had been different, he may have returned the kiss, but he did not, he did not even move. His mind was on Fuuko and what he had done. Though he had regrets, he did not think there was anything he could do. Mikagami was alone, having another person in his life would just make it complicated. It did not matter how he felt about that person.
He shook his head as he entered his house. He was just coming up with one excuse after another for pushing Fuuko away.
He sat on the couch silently. He could not help but feel how silent his afternoon had been compared to usual. He had half expected a boisterous and lively Fuuko Kirisawa to come barging through the door and demand for him to help her cook dinner or something. It would not have been the first time.
But she never came.
He knew the answer to his actions. He had always known it. He was afraid... frightened... no.. he was petrified.
He wondered which was more frightening, having Fuuko in his life, or Fuuko not in his life.
I'm a coward... I'm a fool, but most of all I'm a coward.
He held his head in his hands, he was unable to think straight. He noticed a picture of Mifiyu on the coffee table. He looked at her. Would things be different if she was still around? There was no question to that. He would not have been alone all his life if she was here. Mifiyu, why did you have to leave?
He stopped in his thoughts, he was not going to blame Mifiyu for his predicament. She would have wanted him to move on. Not wallow in this hell called loneliness. It was not her fault at all. He was the one that had made himself alone... he was the one that shut out people before they could get close. He was the fool...
He had used Mifiyu as an excuse for being so only all this time. When the truth was he was was too cowardly to become close to anyone. For fear they would leave, for fear they would hurt him. His arrogant exterior displayed that he WANTED to be alone, to be left alone, that he would intimidate you into leaving him. He did not need people, because he was above everyone. He had pride and did not need anyone there. Though he remembered something Fuuko had said to him. He remembered it had an affect on him, though at the time he did not know why.
'You and your stupid pride can go to hell! Not that you have anything to be proud of anyway!' (2nd chapter i think @_@)
It had affected him because it had felt like someone had seen through his ruse, that his pride was nothing but a smoke screen. Of course she probably had not thought that, but it had affected him. That was why he went to see her after school that day. He had gone over to her in the library after the bell had rung, he had noticed her look through her book at a picture of Ganko. When she started to look solemn he had left at that point.
He did not know why he wanted to see her after school that day. There was no ulterior motive, it was just that her comment had disturbed him, also.... he had never seen Fuuko so solemn before. He was a little curious about what Fuuko had been getting up to actually. All her actions were making him think she was more than just a Monkey... she seemed to be in some trouble. He figured there was no harm in walking her home.
That was his memory that started this whole fiasco. He knew now, the reasons he was giving for not being with Fuuko were all one sided.
'I love you Mikagami Tokiya, even if it's a little useless now...'
To tell the truth, a few girls had told him that, but none of those girls had gotten even a even a mile within how close Fuuko had got to him. He had been telling himself that it was her that was getting dependant on him. It was her that needed him for support. He did not know if he was right or not. But that did not matter. That was not the point.
He was the one that needed her. He had been the one that was getting dependant on her. Why else would he be thinking about her so much. Why had he chosen to walk her to school and home almost everyday. Why had he gotten up that little bit earlier to be with her. It was all a subconscious thing but he knew he was the one relying Fuuko to cure his loneliness. Fuuko was lonely also, but she had always had her friends to rely on when the going got tough. So she was not truly alone... just at home... now she was cured and no longer lonely, she was supposed to leave him. Not the other way round.
She had obviously loved him for reasons's other than relying on each other for emotional support. It was him that was running away from her. He ran because he was frightened...
She was the strong one. It was not him...
He lay on the couch... a tear jerked from his right eye as he stared at the ceiling.
"I'm a coward Sister, what should I do..."
**
Mean while...
The sun was setting. It was setting earlier because it was winter. Though it's orange glow still sat on Fuuko as she sat idly on a swing. There was no one else there... She just sat there in a sighy mood. She was actually rather surprised that she did not feel totally Sdepressed, just sighy about the whole thing.
Perhaps she really was a strong girl on the inside. She thought to herself. After all the pain she had got through, she had come through stronger. She had been able to come out of her depression and back to the Lively Fuuko Kirisawa. She felt a little proud of herself.
Yes, she had admitted her feelings to Mikagami, she even kissed him. Though things did not turn out they way she had hoped... she felt less pain than she had thought she would have. She had not cried. She did not allow herself to cry. She thought to herself, there was no way Mikagami would cry for me. I do not think it's appropriate I cry any more right now...
Things don't work out all the time. She reasoned. Though no matter how she reasoned, her feelings for Mikagami and the rejection was still there. She was proud of herself for being able to do what she did, but sad that it had turned out a happy ending. She sighed and looked down a little.
"That sad face does not suit a young lady such as yourself." said a male voice. Fuuko looked at where the voice came from immediately. Her heart almost hoped it was Mikagami but the voice was not his.
Her eyes wondered as a long haired man stood before her.
"..... Raiha..."
_________________________________________
WAAHH!!! I'm so sorry for putting this one out so late! I had a serious case of writers block, i had no idea how to not make a tofu not sappy, absolutely NO IDEA, i've read pretty much all tofus, and thought they are very enjoyable, i still feel parts of them are like soapies :P hah hah, hey i like a little soapie every now and then, but i did not want mine to be too sappy :)
Yes, Raiha has a SMALL part to play in this story. He i heard him and Fuuko fight for like three days????? in the manga right?? that's like.... lloonnnggg... didn't they sleep?? :P I'm pretty sure how this story is going to go now... the ending in limbo at the moment, but i'd say about 1-2 more chapters to go and finito! owari, fin, the end, how ever you wanna put it. Ideas would be great, it you wanna review that would be greaatttt. in my next chapters i'm replying/thanking all the people who reviewed! since the story could end with the next chapter!
I love all you readers and reviewers, you make writing worth while!