Scene III

Setting: Next day, main square.

At rise: People of the town are milling about. Flora staggers in from stage right, clothes rumpled, hair askew, dazed. There is a sticky, glowing film on her face and neck. Everyone stops and stares at her.

Melvin (hurrying up): Why, Mrs. Monte, you're looking a mite rumpled today. (Victoria Hawthorne turns.)

Victoria (gasping): Flora Monte, you look simply ghastly. Whatever on earth happened to you?

Flora (still dazed): It was simply awful. I was walking home last night with my packages when I hear a horrible noise and I saw a light. I ran and then something hit me. The next thing I knew, I was lying on my back in the brush beside the road. My packages are all there, except for my meat. The creature took my chicken and turkey. (People begin chattering amongst themselves.)

Melvin: Well, it sounds to me like the Hound of Butchersville is back. (Everyone stops talking and stares at Melvin.)

Helga: What exactly is the Hound of Butchersville, Melvin? (Melvin looks around at all the people. It is clear he likes all the attention.)

Melvin: Once, a long time ago, when I was just knee high to a grasshopper, there was a butcher. This butcher had a dog. He would feed this dog scraps of meat. But the dog was always still hungry, so it would follow people home from the butcher shop, and if they left their meat locker door unlocked, the dog would eat their meat.

But soon the dog began wanting more meat, and whole sheep and cows began disappearing. One night, both the butcher and his dog disappeared, and they haven't been seen since. Sounds like the dog, at least, has decided to return.

Mr. Periwinkle: Or maybe it belongs to our own butcher.

Minerva: That's all nonsense, Mr. Periwinkle. Everyone knows Vladimir Bolshevik wouldn't stand for a dog in the house.

Flora: But how did it know I had the meat?

Victoria (importantly): We can't be sure it did know. And besides, it may not have been a dog at all. (Wrinkles her nose.) Maybe there are bears in the woods.

Clementine: But what about the sticky, glowing stuff? (Everyone remains silent. Reginald Hawthorne comes bustling in from stage left.)

Hawthorne: All right, what's going on here?

Minerva (in a rush): Flora Monte was attacked last night by something that stole her meat and left sticky, glowing stuff all over her face. Melvin thinks it's the Hound of Butchersville, but I don't know.

Hawthorne: Hmm, yes, well, I'll have to do something about that. Everyone can go home now; I'll handle it from here. (Reluctantly the crowd begins to disperse. Hawthorne lingers for a moment, hemming and hawing, while Albert LeGrande watches him. Nervously, LeGrande addresses the mayor.)

LeGrande: So, what are you going to do about this, Mayor? (Hawthorne looks up, obviously annoyed that LeGrande has not obeyed his orders to go home.)

Hawthorne: This is clearly a job for the experts. I've decided to call in Fursock Holmes.

LeGrande (with ill-concealed terror): You don't really mean that, do you, sir? I mean--not Fursock!

Hawthorne: Fursock Holmes is a very wise man. You could learn a lot from him, LeGrande.

LeGrande (outraged): The man's a bubbling idiot!

Hawthorne: Nonetheless, he'll be much better at solving this mystery than you, Albert. (In a patronizing tone of voice.) Now then, it's time for you to go home. Have a nice cup of tea; you'll feel much better. (Begins to lead LeGrande off stage left.)

LeGrande (despairingly, rolling his eyes heavenward): Fursock! (Curtains close.)