Aragorn Speaks-
"You left…" My lover whispered softly as his tender pale skin brushed against my arms. I sensed his pain, I always could. I hurt him so much, and there was not one thing that I would not give to take it back. "The very next day…" He said with a bitter laugh, "I thought… that maybe..." His sapphire eyes were turned away from me
"… I was called…" I whispered hastily, trying to make him understand, "I couldn't stay." He seemed to be holding back his tears again as his rosy lips trembled before speaking.
"I know…" The elven beauty said through his hurt, "But I was too selfish to understand… I'm sorry." He smiled for me through his grief, he always could. Why? Why did he have to suffer so, especially for me? Anger, love, lust… a thousand emotions rushed through me at once.
"No…" I said as my arms slipped to his slender waist and I pulled him tighter towards me, "You are not selfish…you have not one selfish bone in your body…" He blinked back the glittering tears that slid down his face and trailing upon my chest.
"Come now…" Legolas said quickly as he wiped his pain stricken eyes, "You need not defend me anymore… not even to myself." His voice was filled with self-loathing and hurt but he held his posture nonetheless.
"Why are you so harsh on yourself…" I said gently as I lifted him close to me, "You are so beautiful…"
"Am I?" He said with quiet despair, "Then why do I not see it?" To this, I had no answer. I only bent down and kissed him with all the love I have been fighting these years. He responded fully, slipping his arms around my neck and embracing me. Desire, pain, love…all that I could feel from him he showed me. He needed me, just as much as I needed him.
"No…" Legolas moaned softly as he pulled away, "We can't… I can't." He turned to me and I knew exactly what he was thinking of.
[Flashback]
"…You have my blessings…" Legolas whispered to the handsome man.
"…Legolas," Aragorn whispered, reaching out to the elf who only stepped back.
"Nay… it was a mistake…" Legolas said firmly, "You deserve better… you have better."
"No, I… you have to understand…"
"There is nothing to understand," The blond elf said through his mask of calmness, "Valar only knows… Princess Arwen… is the best anyone can do…"He was breaking down inside but he was determined not to let that show.
"That is not it!"
"…It is all right… I understand…and I wish you the best of days…" Legolas whispered sincerely, he did wish this man the best life could bring. But it was like shoving a blade of hot iron into his chest.
"Legolas!"
[End flashback]
"… It was always you that I loved." I said softly stroking my lover's cheek, "I never loved anyone in the same way…" He shook his head sadly and smiled forcefully at me.
"You deserve better. I have said this to you nearly seventeen years ago, and I say this now." He said as he let go of my hand. I was utterly heartbroken to see how frail he seemed just then. When his golden hair trailed down his shoulders, lit by the pale light of the moon and stars, and his eyes still whelmed with tears.
"No… no one can do better…." I assured him, willing to do anything to show how much I cared. He laughed that cold icy laugh once more and turned away from me.
"…I have hurt everyone I have ever known… that is the measure of my kindness."
[Flashback]
The fellowship has arrived upon Lothlorien, and there they have stayed for countless days. In a clearing sat Haldir and Legolas… reminiscing about their own love.
"Haldir…"
"… What is it that you truly want… Legolas?" The Lorien elf whispered as he shifted his lover in his arms.
"You."
"I need you to be honest with me…" Haldir whispered, kissing the slender elf softly on the brow.
"… I… I don't know."
"… Legolas… I know how much you love Aragorn…"
"I do not… I can't…" Legolas whispered, "It does not matter… it is you I am with now."
"No… it does matter." Haldir assured him with pain in his own heart, "If you love him… then you will never be happy with me… and the last thing I want is for you to grieve."
"… But I love you."
"Do you?"
"I…I do."
[End Flashback]
Legolas Speaks-
Why? Why did he have to suffer because of me? I have done nothing to deserve his love and yet he gave himself to me fully and sincerely. What a beast I am to push him away! I should have loved him, he was perfect… yet why could I not do so?
Because it was Aragorn I always loved. Now that I look up to the strong and wonderful man… I did not deserve him either. How I wished for death once, twice, every day since then…
"Legolas…" He whispered, how I loved the way he uttered my name, "Please… please don't cry." I had not noticed that tears were slipping down my face again. But hearing him speak this way to me only made the tears whelm my eyes. I had never cried before that night in Mirkwood when our souls joined. Since then… it seemed all I have been doing.
I kissed him hungrily, and he held me once more lowering me toward the ground. My arms trailed over his shoulders and now I could not deny that I wanted him. I had always wanted him. But in his response I knew that he felt the same for me.
[Flashback]
Upon leaving Lothlorien
"Why did you not tell me you were still with Haldir?" Aragorn said, his voice full of hurt as he grasped Legolas's wrist.
"What is there to know?"
"What is there to know?? I thought you… I thought that…"
"You are not my father, Aragorn. I need not tell you things that do not concern you."
"…So that is it then?"
"What is it?"
"Revenge? For how I hurt you?"
"… How dare you…" Legolas's eyes flashed, "Revenge? Do you think that I am so low a soul to sink to that? I love him, Aragorn… It has nothing to do with you." The blond elf snapped away in anger and stormed out of sight.
[End Flashback]
"I lied to you…" I whispered, "It had everything to do with you… I loved you so much… I still do… I was trying to move on…" I said as his kisses trailed down my neck.
"… Shhh… let the past be… for we are together now…"
"Yes…" I moaned softly, he was here… with me… and it was all going to be fine… for now.
*******************************************************************************************
The moon beamed down upon the lit beach as night grew deeper and the sounds of birds grew faint. The two lovers lay atone with each other and each flushed with love.
Aragorn looked to the gorgeous elf beside him and smiled. He could not remember himself being half as happy, anywhere.
"I'm sorry…" Legolas whispered suddenly.
"What?" Aragorn frowned as his arms loosened around his lover.
"I'm sorry… that I am not Arwen… and I cannot replace her."
"…No… I love you… and only you…"
"You would not remember me… had she not left."
"… That is not true…"
Aragorn Speaks-
He shook his head sadly and kissed me softly once more before pulling his clothes on properly. I looked towards him… how could he think that?
[Flashback]
Helms deep:
"Haldir!" I cried as I caught the Lorien elf before he collapsed. I knew that he would not make it.
"…Aragorn…" He said softly, "Take care… take care of Legolas…"
"I will…"
"He loves you."
"Nay… it is you whom he loves…"
"No… he loves me as a friend… not the way he loves you. He has never given himself to anyone… save you."
"… What?" I uttered softly… that night… our night together in Mirkwood… it couldn't be…
"Protect him…"
[End Flashback]